Donna’s jaw ticked and her eyes turned to slits. “Your father is never going to believe this. Never.”
Josie hadn’t thought about that. Mitch’s approval was the sole reason for the charade. If he didn’t approve, there was no sense in continuing on with any of it.
“What am I supposed to tell him, Seth?” Donna asked.
“That he has a new daughter.”
That wasn’t the answer she was searching for. “This is a big shock, Seth.”
“I can appreciate that,” he said, his eyes softening as he gave his mom an empathetic look. “But once that shock wears off, I hope you will all be as welcoming to Josie as you were to Amy. And if I do that math correctly, theirs actually was a shotgun wedding.”
Donna’s mouth sharpened into a frown, she gave the couple a head-to-toe once over and then saw herself out.
Seth stood unmoving for a silent moment before he released his grasp on Josie and slumped back on the counter’s edge. He speared his fingers into his hair and then mopped his hands down his face. She could see his chest rise and fall with large, full breaths and after he regained his composure, he pushed off from the cabinet and crossed the kitchen toward the fridge.
“Scrambled or fried?”
“What?”
He pulled a carton from the refrigerator and settled it onto the tiled counter. “I’m making you breakfast, just like I said I would.”
“Do you think maybe we’re taking this too far?” Josie opened the cupboard closest to her and got down a mixing bowl. She passed it off to Seth. “And scrambled, please.”
Seth got right to work cracking and beating the eggs, his movements more vigorous than necessary. “We might be, but I think we’re so far down the rabbit hole, our only option is to make our home inside of it and stay awhile.”
Josie couldn’t help but smile at his attempt to find humor in the situation. She really did feel for Seth. Josie wasn’t a stranger to mother issues. After her father had passed and they sold the ranch, she moved into an apartment with her mom. But it didn’t last long. Josie quickly missed the breathing space the ranch afforded her, the many acres she could ride to clear her head and feed her soul. Sharing such close quarters with a woman she had known her entire life but still felt like she barely knew at all wasn’t ideal. And even though she would always be her mother’s child, she didn’t want to be treated like one. Curfews, check-ins, and unsolicited advice were all expected when you were a teenager. But Josie was a woman in her twenties and she needed space to unfurl and spread her wings.
As soon as Josie had enough money saved up from her farrier work, she purchased her trailer and packed her bags. It also coincided with the move in of her mother’s new boyfriend. Life, relationships, and dreams changed over time and if there was one thing Josie had learned throughout the years, it was that the only person you could truly count on was yourself. Not friends. Not even family.
But this trust she felt building with Seth, it flew in the face of all of that.
“You okay?” Seth stopped whisking and raised his eyes to hers.
“Yeah. Just thinking.”
“About?”
“About us.” She hopped up onto the counter and crossed her legs at the ankles. “I mean, not that there’s an us.”
“There is an us, Josie.” He reached around her to open a nearby cabinet to retrieve a frying pan.
“Sure. But I’m just confused on the context, I guess.”
“I hope you understand after last night that I like you, Josie.”
Her heart fluttered at that, a sensation so foreign she didn’t know if it was normal. “You don’t think we were just caught up in the moment?”
“I absolutely think we were caught up in the moment. It was an amazing moment and I’d love to get caught up with you again like that.” He gave her a look that could tempt a nun to leave the convent. “But being caught up in the moment isn’t the same as doing something without thinking. Not for me, at least.”
She agreed with that and it was a relief to hear him explain it that way. “I feel that way, too. But the same can’t be said for what I did this morning. Coming out here with Marcie’s ring on my finger like that…I didn’t have any right to do that.”
Seth poured the liquid egg mixture onto the sizzling pan on the stove and stepped back. “Are you kidding me? That was perfect. Did you see my mother’s face?”
“I did.” Josie swung her legs side to side. “It was terrifying.”
“Don’t let her scare you, Josie. She’s all bark and no bite. Honestly, I think she’s intimidated by you and that’s why she acts the way she does.”
“Intimidated by me? That’s crazy.”
“It’s not. You’re the first woman to come around the ranch that has the guts to challenge her.” He poked at the eggs with a spatula. “She sees you as a threat.”
“That’s not at all how I want to be seen.” Josie caught Seth’s gaze. “How do you see me?”
“As an independent woman who has been led to believe she has to do it all on her own.”
Josie didn’t know if she liked that assessment. The truth in it tugged at her chest.
Seth scraped the fluffy, yellow eggs from the pan and divided out two portions onto plates. He took the salt and pepper shakers from the counter and shook them over the meal, then balanced both dishes in one hand while he rummaged through the cutlery drawer for two forks. “Want to eat this on the porch with me?”
“I’d like that.”
Josie followed Seth out to the old rockers and took her seat. He left her with their breakfasts while he went back into the house to fetch a carafe of orange juice and a handful of napkins. Mornings on the ranch were peaceful. Cows mooed softly in the distance, a rooster’s crow interjecting every few minutes like clockwork. She could hear the wind rustling the leaves arching over the tree-lined driveway, making a swishing, scratchy sound. The same wind played with the strands of hair framing her face, tickling her cheeks.
“Here you go.” Seth stepped back onto the porch and poured a generous glass of juice, then passed it off to Josie. “Are you good with just the eggs? Or should I make some toast, too? I’m not a big breakfast eater, but I’m happy to make some if you are.”
“The eggs are just fine.” She brought a forkful to her mouth and took a bite. They were great. Not too overdone where the edges were dry and lacy, but not too runny, either. “Thank you, Seth.”
He smiled. “Planning to work with the horses today?”
“I am.” Josie took another bite. “I’d love to have them all haltered by the end of the day, but that might be pushing it. We’ll see what I’m able to get done before my appointment.”
“For your arm?” Seth pushed his foot off the porch to rock his chair.
“Yep. Getting it checked out again. I still have a couple more weeks before the cast can come off.” She rolled her arm so the underside faced up. She was more than ready to get this cumbersome, clunky thing off of her.
“Still don’t want to talk about how you broke it?”
She drew in a prolonged breath that lifted her shoulders and kept them up under her ears. “It was just a really bad accident. One that shouldn’t’ve happened.”
“That’s why they call them accidents,” Seth said. His mouth tipped up a little in the corner, like he wasn’t sure if it was okay to smile but still wanted to try.
“Sure.” She held her juice glass out from her lips. “Fair enough.”
“If it was an accident, you really shouldn’t blame yourself for it.”
She appreciated Seth’s attempt to empathize, but it didn’t make her feel any less unworthy of it. “That’s where you’re wrong.” She tipped her glass to him and tried to temper the anxiety that swelled each time she thought back on that awful night. “I might not be the one who caused the accident, but I shoulder the same amount of blame.”
“I’m not following.” Seth’s eyes searched hers for some sort of revelation. “But it’s tr
uly none of my business, anyway. We don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.”
“You’re right,” she confirmed with a brisk nod. “It’s not. But I do think I’d actually like to talk about it.” Her voice found its conviction. “If you’re willing to listen.”
“Absolutely, Josie.” Seth’s foot planted and his chair stopped its repetitive swaying. “Always.”
This would take a heavy dose of humility, but Josie was ready for it. It was long overdue and something in her soul begged for release. She took a fortifying breath.
“So there’s this guy in town named Brian. We went to school growing up but were really just acquaintances. He got engaged last year to his high school sweetheart, and shortly after their engagement, she was diagnosed with stage four pancreatic cancer.”
“That’s awful.” Seth’s expression disintegrated into a pained frown. “I’m so sorry to hear that.”
“She passed recently and he took it pretty badly. They’d spent all their savings on her treatments so he was really down and out,” Josie explained. “Like to the point that he posted up on the street corner to beg for money just to get by.”
“I can’t even imagine getting to that point.” Seth’s head was shaking. “That poor guy.”
“I know. It’s awful,” Josie agreed. “So one day he was outside the grocery store with his cardboard sign. No one had put anything in his jar. It was totally empty. And he looked awful, Seth. On death’s door physically and emotionally. I felt for him, you know? So I gave him the fifty-dollar bill that I’d just gotten from my client for shoeing her horse that afternoon. I told him to get something to eat. Something that would make him feel better.” Josie’s throat was thick with emotion. It was hard to speak around the ball that lodged squarely there. She swallowed. “He looked up from his slumped place on the concrete and said, ‘The only thing that’ll make me feel better is to use this to drown my sorrows.’ I laughed a little and said, ‘Hey man, we gotta do what we gotta do just to get by sometimes’.”
Seth had his elbows perched on his knees and his hands clasped under his chin, leaning close, giving Josie his rapt attention.
“My guess is he used every last dollar of it that day because when he hit me, he didn’t even really put two and two together that I was the same person he’d chatted with outside the store earlier in the day.”
“Oh, Josie.” Seth didn’t say anything more than that, but it was enough to break her. Tears, hot and insistent, streamed down the slope of her cheeks.
“I wasn’t about to get the police involved because the truth of the matter was, if I hadn’t given him that money, the accident never would’ve happened. I hold just as much blame.”
“You’re not responsible for someone else’s decisions or actions, Josie. You were just trying to help him out. You have to know that.”
“You know? Deep down I keep telling myself that, but I’ve yet to really believe it.” She sniffed. “Brian’s life was a living hell already. What good would it do to make sure it stayed that way?”
Seth reached out and placed his hand on Josie’s bare knee. His thumb rubbed over her skin, soothing and gentle. “You’re a really good woman, Josie. With a huge heart.”
“I don’t know about that.”
“I do.” He moved for her hand and pulled her from her seat and over to his. With more understanding, comfort, and compassion than Josie had experienced in years, Seth wrapped his arms around her and held her tightly to him as he slowly rocked in the chair.
Josie couldn’t keep from burying her head in his chest and letting the sobs rack her entire body, shuddering out in a release that felt like a dam breaking. Seth’s hand smoothed her hair that matted against her tear-slick cheeks and he just let her cry as he absorbed all of her pain, doubt, and misplaced blame she had let herself latch onto like a sickness.
How had he been the only one to see things this way? Even her sisters thought she had been a fool to let Brian off so easily. Josie began to wonder if she’d done the wrong thing, but Seth’s acceptance changed all of that.
Seth’s acceptance of Josie changed everything.
19
Seth
“They’re not gonna let us come out to the farm this week, sweetie. I’m so sorry.”
Gramm’s voice trembled in the receiver wedged between Seth’s shoulder and ear.
“What do you mean? I thought it was all lined up and we were good to go.” Seth balanced a large bottle of milk on his knee as he crouched down in the fresh bedding of straw in the old barn stall. The calf nudged at the bottle with his wet nose, smacking his lips while he searched to find the nipple to latch onto. The poor thing ended up rejected by its mother, an outcome no cattle rancher liked to encounter. Seth and Tanner now switched off feedings. It would take some teamwork, but they were determined to give the calf the best start in life possible.
Gramm sighed. “There’s been a flu outbreak and they don’t want any of us leaving.”
Seth’s hopes nosedived at that. Of course, he had wanted to have his grandmother and her friends out to the ranch, but their health was more important than an afternoon field trip. If only the people that ran that facility understood their mental health was something to consider, too.
“That’s really a bum deal, Gramm.” The calf’s wobbly legs buckled and Seth readjusted his feeding position so he could get a better latch. “I was hoping you could spend some time out here. It’s been so long.”
“It really has.” There was a wistful quality in her voice. “But it’s probably better this way, anyway.”
“Why would you say that?”
“Oh, Seth, dear. You’re the only Ford on that ranch that would be happy to see my face around there again.”
His chin tucked back, startled by her blunt statement. “What do you mean, Gramm?”
“Can’t imagine your mother and father would take too kindly to seeing me at their ranch after all they did to make sure it didn’t stay my ranch after Pop passed.”
Seth hadn’t been privy to any of that information, mostly because he’d been a teenager when his grandfather had passed and things like wills, trusts, and landownership were far less interesting than girls, trucks, and Friday night football games.
“Anyway, all’s well that ends well, I suppose,” Gramm said with resignation. “I guess this crazy old lady will just have to stay locked up here like everyone insisted. Listen, sweetie, I have to go for now. They’re calling us for lunch and if I don’t get down there before Nancy does, all of the mac and cheese will be gone. She never leaves any for the rest of us, selfish old bat. Anyway, love you, dear. We’ll chat soon.”
“Love you, too, Gramm.” Seth clicked his phone off and slipped it into his back pocket, then looked down at the sweet calf with milk dripping from his lips. “What do you think she meant by that?” he said rhetorically to the animal who blinked with thick cow lashes, giving him a blank, bewildered stare.
“Knock, knock.”
Josie’s voice filtering into the barn was the sweetest sound; exactly what Seth needed after his grandmother’s disappointing news.
“I’m in here.” Seth megaphoned his mouth with his hands to holler from his hunkered position in the stall. “First stall on the right.”
“Hey.” She peered over the panel. “Aww, look at that little cutie.”
“Why, thank you,” Seth teased. He flashed a toothy grin. “Oh, you mean the calf.”
She chuckled and wove her arms over the pipe panel, resting one on top of the other.
“You got your cast off!”
“Yep.” Josie beamed. “Everything healed up faster than the doctor had originally predicted and they were able to take it off today. And I’m all cleared to start shoeing again, too. I’ve already got an appointment at Bridgette’s tomorrow afternoon with another horse they just brought in. It’ll be nice to pick things back up with that. It’s been too long.”
“That’s great news, Josie. I’m really happy for y
ou.”
She unlocked the stall and shut it gently behind her before crouching down to join Seth with the hungry little calf. “How’s he doing?”
“Seems to be okay now that he’s got some groceries in him. Poor dude. Rejection sucks.”
“Especially when it’s from your mama.” She stroked the top of the animal’s fuzzy head. “He’s adorable. I honestly don’t know how you guys do what you do. Raise them knowing they’ll be on someone’s dinner table one day. I’d have a hard time with that.”
It was the harsh truth of things but Seth definitely knew where Josie came from. It was part of the reason he wasn’t as in love with ranching as his father and brother were. Seth easily became attached to the animals they raised, but it was all part of the process—and the paycheck—and that reminder was the main motivating factor.
“I guess I just have to tell myself that this is their purpose. They have a good life here; we make sure of it. And when it’s time for them to be shipped off, I know we’ve done everything we could to ensure a peaceful existence and end. But it’s not easy, and if I wasn’t born into this lifestyle, I’m not sure it’s one I would’ve picked for myself.”
“What would you have picked, if it were up to you? Because it is, you know.” Josie plucked a bit of straw from her shirt with her fingers. She was casual today like every other day with her boot cut jeans and sweatshirt. Even still, Seth thought she looked downright sexy, but the ring she wore on her fourth finger might’ve had a little something to do with it.
“Would you believe I wanted to be a veterinarian?” He pulled back the bottle to give the calf a rest. It had slurped down over half and needed to pace itself.
“I absolutely can believe it. Don’t you remember, I was standing by your side while you delivered this very calf?” Josie said. “So how come you never pursued it?”
“It’s a ton of schooling, and a whole heap of money that I couldn’t really ask my parents for at the time.” He shrugged. “Anyway, that ship has sailed.”
Take the Reins (A Cowboy's Promise Book 2) Page 14
