Trafficking the Disappearance of Lily Rose Flannery: Based on Many True Stories

by Rachael Elizabeth Lee

  Now I am a loser pill popping, whore. I have fucked everything up for my family. I picked up some heroin and razors for later. I plan to have peace in my life. I no longer want to suffer. My Father began drinking heavily after I was taken. Gabriel is not the same, and my Mom is a mess. I ruined everything for my family, this is all my fault. I am a junkie; I am destroying my family. I thought we would have a happy reunion. Life does not work out that way.

  I cannot carry on this way. Nobody cares they all tiptoe around me. I am a worthless drug addict prostitute. I do not deserve to be alive. No one can help or save me; I do not want to be on this Earth anymore. This is my decision and no one else’s. All those men they do not care what they did to me. I will never be able to get over this. I cannot take the agony anymore. I was forced to be with thousands of men. Who will want me after that? I miss Zack I need to be with him.

  When my family leaves for dinner tonight, I will execute my plan. I am looking forward to a life without pain. I am looking forward to never having to see thousands of men forcing themselves on me, when I close my eyes. I will not go to college, but at least I got to graduate high school. I have no future no man will ever want me after everything that happened to me. I am glad this will all be over soon. I am doing this for me I cannot live like this not a moment longer. I must say goodbye! I will leave my suicide note where it will be found on my Moms night stand.

  Mom and Dad,

  Today is the one anniversary of Zacks death and my kidnapping they killed Zack on April 8, 2017. I cannot believe it has been a year. I am sorry that I let you down. I am so unhappy and that is why I need to leave this world. The pain I feel is unbearable and nobody understands. Zack is gone forever. They took my virtue. They stole my faith, all my dreams and my beautiful life. I am sorry I let you two down. I am a junkie and I will never be able to overcome this. I am in so much pain emotionally I cannot carry on. Please do not remember me the way you found me laying in the bath tub. Remember me before all of this happened when I was happy. I want you to remember the good times. Celebrate life! This is my choice. Please let Gabriel know I love him, and I will always be with all of you. Take good care of Gabriel he needs you. Please forgive me! I love you! April 8, 2018

  Love you always and forever,

  Lily Rose

  I hear a knock on my door it’s my Mom. She is asking me if I am alright, I assure her I am fine. She tells me Dad, her and Gabriel are going to dinner now. She asks me if I want to go? I reply “no”. She tells me her, Dad and Gabriel all love me. “I love you all too!” She says they will be back in a few hours and they want us all to watch a movie later. I ask her to bring Gabe to my room, he comes in. I tell him how much I love him and he will always be my best friend. I give Gabe the biggest hug. I tell both my parents I love them and for them to have fun. I wait until they leave.

  I grab my razors, my knife, the syringe, the heroin, my spoon, cotton balls, a lighter and the thing to tie my arm off. I enter my bathroom draw the water for the tub. I take my clothes off. I place my heroin on the spoon I squirt the water onto the spoon and I use my lighter to heat it up I roll the cotton. I put it into a small ball and it poufs up. I put the tip of the syringe and pull back on the plunger. I tie off my arm to get a vein. I place the needle flat on my skin because I do not want to miss the vein. I inject myself. I inject myself again with a little more heroin and throw the needle on the floor. Now I need to do is wait around 60 to 120 seconds. In moments I will feel no more sorrow. This is this it? Why did my life have to go this way?

  I do not turn the water off. I feel this euphoria rushing over me. I get into the bath tub and I slit my neck ear to ear. I make sure I hit the jugular or the Carotid artery. I have to make sure I get the cut nice and deep. I use the knife it is a razor-sharp. It does not even hurt. The bath water is still running. I can feel my pain easing away. This is a quick and a painless death. I bleed out in a matter of minutes. I am finally free. I am not hurting anymore. I am dead! I am not afraid anymore. All I feel is joy.

  I can feel my life slipping away from me. I can feel the coldness of the water as I sink to the bottom. I am sinking into the dark cold abyss. I am starting to fade away. I am shivering I am so cold, and I am not alone. It is said that your life flashes before your eyes, when you about to die. Well not in my case. I am thinking about how at ease I feel. I feel no more pain; I do not want to resurface. I can feel the current pulling me further and further down the river. I feel a stranger pulling me out of the water. It is Zack I am so happy to see his beautiful face smiling at me. I feel so much better now! I am no longer sad, I feel happiness. I am with Zack. I am dead, it is a glorious feeling. We are in our own version of Heaven and it is marvelous.

  Gabriel can you please go get your sister? “Tell her we got ice cream, popcorn and some candy.”

  Okay mom I will get her. I hear Gabe start to scream. “MOM! OH MY GOD THERE IS WATER ALL OVER THE FLOOR OUTSIDE OF LILY’S BATHROOM!”

  What do you mean Gabriel?

  “Mom there is water all over the floor.”

  I run up the stairs telling Gabe hold on I am coming up. I see water and what looks like blood. I tell Gabe, go get your Father please. Okay! “Dad mom needs you upstairs.”

  Why Gabe what is going on?

  “There is water all over Lily’s bedroom floor its coming from the bathroom.”

  Oh my God What? Gabriel stay here. I am going upstairs.

  “Okay Dad is Lily alright?”

  I do not know Gabriel, please just stay here. I grab my cell phone and run up the stairs to Lily’s room.

  I can hear my wife pleading for Lily to open the door.

  “Lily Rose, open the door baby! Please Lily open the door!”

  “Patrick, Lily is not answering me and there is water all over the place. It looks like it has blood in it.”

  “PATRICK CALL 911! Lily, my beauty please open the door.”

  Patricia, I am on the line with 911 my daughter is locked in the bathroom there is water everywhere and it looks like there is blood in the water.

  What is your name sir? Patrick Flannery. The telephone number you are calling from? (415)555-2234. Sir, what is your address 1 Broderick Street San Francisco. How long has she been in the bathroom? I don’t know oh my God send somebody now! We have first responders on their way now, they are a few minutes out.

  “Patrick, the door will not open.”

  Hold on Patricia I am going to kick it open. Talk to 911 for a minute.

  “Hello this is Patricia Flannery.”

  How old is your daughter?

  “She is 18 her name is Lily Rose Flannery. We just came home from dinner. Oh my God WHY!”

  Ma’am I need you to calm down take in deep breaths. Help is on the way. I need you to stay on the line with me.

  “Where are they? Oh my God my baby! My husband just kicked in the bathroom door. I am going in the bathroom.”

  “OH MY GOD LILY ROSE! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE? LILY PLEASE WAKE UP! OH MY GOD NO! PATRICK SHE IS COLD! OH MY GOD LILY GET UP; NO THIS IS NOT HAPPENING. LILY BABY! PLEASE WAKE UP! PLEASE! PATRICK THERE IS SO MUCH BLOOD. MAKE HER STOP BLEEDING! OH MY GOD NO LILY ROSE NO!” Mom, dad what is wrong with Lily?

  “Gabriel go to your room.” Mom, dad tell me what is wrong with Lily?

  “Gabriel go to your room PLEASE!”

  Hello can you hear me this is still the 911 dispatcher on the line. What is going on? “Our daughter killed herself.”

  Can you perform CPR?

  “No, she is gone. She is cold to the touch.” First responders are on their way. They are less than a minute out.

  “WHY, WHY, WHY PLEASE GOD DO NOT TAKE HER! OH MY GOD THIS IS NOT FAIR! WE NEVER SHOULD HAVE LEFT HER ALONE. WHY LILY? WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL US YOU WERE HURTING SO BADLY?”

  “I can hear the sirens.”

  Go down and let them in. I will stay on the line with you until they enter the house. “Patrick, let them in the house. Oh my God Lily Rose NO!”

 
When the emergency medical technicians arrived, they said that Lily was DOA. Then the police arrive at our home. They remove the knife, spoon, syringe, razor blades, the cotton ball, spoon and lighter. They also take her knife.

  The police bag everything. The emergency medical technicians drain the bath tub. They place Lily in a body bag my wife and I can hear it zipping up. The officers interview my wife and I. They ask us about our night and if Lily had been suicidal in the past? We reply no. We tell them that we had gone out to dinner and about Lily Rose’s past being abducted and sold as a sex slave. We also inform them it has been a year to the date since her boyfriend Zack was murdered and she was abducted. We explain Lily had used drugs in the past but she went to rehab and narcotics anonymous. We thought she was off the drugs.

  I ask for Detective James Allard and Detective Brett Everly. They come our home and console my wife and I. I am so fucking angry! Why would she do this to all of us. We love her no matter what!

  “Patrick and Patricia, everything that happened to her was not her fault. She was suffering. This was the only way she knew out. I am so sorry I thought she would recover from this.”

  Thank you, James. Why didn’t she talk to us? Why did she kill herself? Didn’t she know that we love her?

  “Why did she do this I don’t understand, she cannot be dead! She is only 18 years old we both thought she was doing well. She completed rehab and was talking about college. NO, SHE IS NOT DEAD NO, NO, NO! I refuse to believe it. God fucking damn it this is not fair. Why God, why Lily?”

  Does Gabriel know yet? “No neither one of us have told him. He is up in his room.”

  Well I am sure he can here all the commotion that is going on. You two need to be honest with Gabriel. The past year has been hard on him. He loves his sister more than life itself and he deserves to know the truth.

  “We cannot plan a funeral for our daughter. Parents are not supposed to plan their children funerals. They are supposed to plan ours. She cannot be dead, there is no way! How do we carry on Patrick? How is this fair? I refuse to bury our daughter. She was in therapy for Christs sake. Why? This is not real, none of this is happening. They are carrying my baby girl out in a body bag. I am not planning my only daughter’s funeral. This is all a bad dream. I just want to wake up.”

  Patricia, there is blood all over you.

  “Oh my God, Lily it is her blood oh my God. I cannot do this I can’t do this!”

  Honey you need to go clean yourself up.

  “I can’t do it Patrick I just can’t.”

  Patrick, James and I will help Patricia upstairs to get cleaned up. Patricia do not look at the blood close your eyes we will guide you to your room. James’s turn the shower on for Patricia.

  “WHY, WHY, WHY did you do this Lily?” As I shower, I let the water cascade off of me and see Lily’s blood running off my body. I am crying my eyes out and I am shouting at God. After I finish showering, I find Lily’s suicide note on my nightstand. I begin to scream, screech, bellow and shout. I will not make it through this.

  “OH, MY FUCKING GOD SHE LEFT A NOTE!”

  “PATRICK, SHE LEFT A NOTE.” Patrick runs up the stairs and reads the note he is bawling his eyes out. Patrick cannot control his emotions. I pick out whatever and I slowly get dressed. Brett and James escort Patrick and I back downstairs. I begin to yell at my husband.

  “I AM NOT PLANNING LILY ROSE’S FUNERAL NO FUCKING WAY! YOU PLAN THE FUNERAL PATRICK I REFUSE!”

  Patricia, we have to she is gone. She has been gone since she came home to us. As much as this hurts, we still have to take care of Gabriel. We cannot neglect him he needs the both of us. We must be there for him. We did the best we could for Lily! She was hurting inside and she could not take it anymore.

  “I want her here with all of us to but she is gone. She will never be coming back. God Damn it!”

  “Patrick, we need to call Dee, Mike, Grandma and Grandpa. We have to tell Gabriel. Patricia do you want me to make the call?”

  No Patricia I will call them. As I make the call to our family, I cannot contain my emotions. Mike, its Patrick.

  “Patrick what is wrong you sound hysterical?”

  I have some terrible news that I do not want to share over the phone.

  “Patrick what is it?” Mike is everyone there?

  “Yes”

  Are you all sitting down? Yes, what is going on?”

  This is hard to say especially over the phone. “Patrick what is it?”

  Mike, Lily killed herself.

  “What the fuck do you mean Lily killed herself? Why? When? How?”

  I did not want to tell you over the phone.

  “Patrick does Gabe know?”

  “No, we haven’t told him yet”.

  “Patrick, we will be there as soon as we can. Oh, my good this is not fucking real. I don’t understand.”

  I can hear everyone gasping in the back ground they do not understand what happened.

  “Why did she give up on all of us?”

  I can hear my family screaming in the back ground. I hear moans of pain from my parents, my brother in law and sister in law. It is like something I have never heard before. Mike, I have to tell Gabe.

  “Naturally, tell him as soon as possible. Dee is searching for flights now. I am so sorry this happened Patrick.”

  We are in shock here, and very angry Patricia is a mess. I don’t know what to do.

  “Tell Gabriel and go to a hotel. We will see you soon.”

  The walk upstairs to inform Gabriel his sister has passed on seemed like it took an eternity.

  Gabe, Mom and I need you to come downstairs with us. Gabriel, Mom and I need you to sit down. We have some terrible news for you.

  “Why do I need to sit?”

  We need to tell you something about your sister.

  “What about Lily? Is Lily alright?”

  “No, Gabe Lily took her own life”.

  “No, she didn’t I saw the ambulance take her away to the hospital.”

  Gabe your sister was in so much pain she felt like she could not go on.

  “NO, SHE IS NOT GONE! NO, NO, NO YOU ARE A FUCKING LIAR. LILY WOULD NEVER DO THAT. SHE WOULD NEVER LEAVE ME OR US!”

  Gabe I am so sorry.

  “SHUT THE FUCK UP DAD! YOU BOTH SHOULD HAVE HELPED HER IT IS ALL YOUR FAULT! I HATE BOTH OF YOU!”

  Gabriel where are you going?

  “I am going to my room is that alright Mom and Dad?”

  I think you should stay down here with us.

  “I said I am going to my room and you cannot stop me.”

  I climb into my bed and start to scream into my pillow. Asking Lily, how she could do this to me? Does she not love me? Why is she such fucking selfish? I begin to break things, first I hit the wall. I destroy my trophies, my computer I tear my bed apart and rip my sheets to shreds. You never loved any of us Lily! Did you? Answer me why did you have to be such a selfish bitch? I hate you for this. I fucking hate you Lily, if you loved me you never would have left me.

  “How is Gabe holding up?”

  He is very angry Detectives. He ran to him room he was screaming saying we were lying and he said it was his mothers and my fault.

  “Patrick I am so sorry for your loss. I cannot believe this.”

  Patrick can you guys go to a motel for the next few days? I do not think you should stay here. I know cleaning services that can clean Lily’s blood. “I can clean up her blood James.”

  “No Patricia, I do not think that is a good idea. Your family has been through so much already. Please allow me to help you.”

  Okay, my wife and I will start packing enough for a few days. I will let Gabe know he needs to pack some of his belongings.

  Gabe its Dad I need you to open the door. I know that you are upset we all are.

  “Fine Dad I will open my FUCKING door. What do you want?”

  Gabriel what did you do to your room?

  “I am pissed off Dad, she left us.”

>   Come here buddy! I am so sorry! My dad puts his arms around me and we weep uncontrollable. Son, I know this is not fair, but Lily was hurting. I know that she never meant to hurt you. She felt that she could not go on.

  “We could have done more; we could have helped her.”

  Gabe, we tried to help her the best way we knew how. We had her in counseling, NA meetings and support groups.

  “Why did we leave her alone?”

  This is not your fault, moms’ fault or my fault. This is on Lily. This was unfortunately her decision. She could not fight anymore. I don’t think she was thinking of all those who love her. How we all would be devasted over her loss.