Indian Summer

by Amy Elizabeth

  I’m late.

  How could two little words be filled with such monumental meaning?

  The room seemed to spin around him when he finally pushed himself to his feet and replaced the contents of the first aid kit. Then he tossed the soiled bar rag in the trash and switched off the lights before he stepped out of the office. Most of the kitchen crew was gone for the night, and those that remained seemed unconcerned with his presence. He exited through the double doors and made his way, step by surreal step, down the stairs and into the lounge.

  To his relief, the lounge had emptied out during his absence. The band was in the process of breaking down their equipment and hauling it out to their van. A few young couples were still hanging out around the pool tables, but the rest of the guests and his staff had retired for the evening.

  Shania was wiping down the bar top when he ducked under the pass-through. “Is she okay?” she asked.

  “Yeah, she’ll be fine. I’m going to finish up for her, though.” He managed a tired smile. “Thanks for helping out tonight. It’s not usually this crazy.”

  “I was glad to.”

  Alec pulled a rocks glass from the shelf and poured a more-than-generous helping of whiskey. He downed it in one gulp and refilled the glass before he set the bottle back in the well. Shania raised a brow when he drained the second shot just as quickly.

  “Long week?”

  He gave a mirthless laugh. “You have no idea.”

  As he’d hoped, the alcohol went right to his head. By the time he ran the last rack of glasses through the dishwasher and reached for a polishing rag, he couldn’t think about anything if he tried. He nodded goodnight to the final guests as they slid on their jackets and trickled through the doorway.

  “Where do you keep your back-up liquor?” Shania asked. “I poured through both bottles of Jack Daniels tonight.”

  He indicated the cabinet above the wine cooler. “But you don’t have to do any of that, you know. This was your night off.”

  She glanced at him as she stretched to open the cabinet door. “Wasn’t it yours, too?”

  “Welcome to my world.”

  Alec polished the last of the wine glasses and hung them overhead before he set the empty rack in the storage room behind the bar. On his way back, he passed his empty glass and decided that another drink wasn’t a bad idea. He picked up the bottle and was about to top up his glass when a firm hand landed on his arm. He lifted his eyes to find Shania staring back at him.

  No, not at him.

  Through him.

  He released a slow breath and replaced the bottle in the well. “Rebecca thinks she’s pregnant.”

  Shania immediately withdrew her hand. “Oh.”

  “Yeah,” he said just as quietly. “She just told me.”

  There was a tense moment of silence. “Did you not want kids?”

  “We do.” He stared unseeing at the label on the bottle. “I just don’t know how we’re going to do it right now.”

  Long before they got married, he and Rebecca agreed that they wanted to have a family one day. Alec looked forward to experiencing the other side of the bond that he shared with his father. And Rebecca was thrilled by the idea of raising her children in a safe, stable environment, so unlike her own upbringing in South Boston.

  But they also agreed that they weren’t in any rush. Rebecca had plenty she wanted to accomplish with her own life before turning her attention to a family. And between his father and the ranch, Alec already had more demands on his energy than he could handle. Having children was a distant concept, something to be planned for when the time was right.

  Now was definitely not that time.

  Was it selfish of him to want to wait, though? He’d always imagined that they’d start their family after his father was gone, so they could give each generation the rightful attention they deserved. Then he envisioned the way his father’s eyes lit up the first time he saw Stacey, who wasn’t even blood-related.

  How much joy would it bring him to welcome his very own grandchild into the world? Why would they deny him of that?

  Alec cringed when he felt the hot, unfamiliar sting of tears in his eyes. Shamefully he bowed his head and started to turn away, but Shania reached out and stopped him. He was helpless to resist as she pulled him closer and wrapped her arms around him. His throat tightened as he dropped his head onto her shoulder, and it was all he could do to maintain his composure when he felt her fingers curl around the nape of his neck.

  He knew he shouldn’t let her hold him like this. But as powerless as he was to change what Rebecca had just told him, he was equally powerless to withdraw from the security of Shania’s embrace. He dug his fingertips into her back and drew in a haggard breath, bringing with it the scent of vanilla from her skin. His reaction to the fragrance was instant, triggering so many different physical and emotional responses that he actually started to feel dizzy.

  “I’m sorry,” he said as he stepped back. “It’s not that I…I mean, I…”

  His mind was whirling so fast that he couldn’t even string together a coherent sentence. Fortunately, Shania already seemed to understand what he was trying to say.

  “I’m sorry, too,” she echoed, also taking a step back. “I shouldn’t have done that–”

  “It’s okay. I just…” He paused and drew in a shaky breath. “I just really need to be alone right now.”

  She gave a little nod before she brushed past him and slipped beneath the pass-through. He stood there long after she vanished through the doorway and long after his buzz from the whiskey wore off. He could have been analyzing what had just happened, he supposed, but right now he could honestly say that Shania was the farthest thing from his mind.

  Alec left the remaining cleaning tasks for tomorrow and switched off the lights before he locked the door behind him. The night air felt refreshingly cool on his cheeks as he emerged from the lodge and glanced up into the moonless sky. Normally, on any given night, the Wyoming sky glowed with stars too numerous to count. Tonight, though, he couldn’t make out a single star through the thick shroud of clouds.

  The farmhouse was silent when he entered the foyer and stepped out of his boots. He paused at the bottom of the steps to prepare himself for whatever awaited him at the top; then he drew in a deep breath and slowly ascended the staircase.

  When he reached their bedroom, he was startled to find the lights on and the bed empty. Then he heard a quiet sniffle from the bathroom and immediately strode in that direction.

  “Bec?” he said, giving a gentle knock on the door.

  When there was no response, he pushed the door open. Rebecca sat on the floor, leaning her face against the tub, and didn’t even look up when he knelt beside her.

  “I’m so sorry,” she whispered. “I shouldn’t have said anything until I knew for sure.”

  Alec reached for her face and forced their eyes to meet. “You’re not pregnant?”

  She shook her head.

  The tension drained from him so rapidly that he had to place a hand on the wall to steady himself. Rebecca sniffed again and hugged her knees to her chest, turning her face away so he wouldn’t see her cry. Once he’d recovered his equilibrium, he slid his arms beneath her and lifted her right off the floor.

  “Alec, don’t,” she gasped. “You’ll hurt your shoulder.”

  “Hush,” he replied.

  With his last vestige of strength, Alec carried her out of the bathroom and gently set her on the duvet. He switched off the light and crawled into bed beside her, wordlessly enveloping her in his embrace. Then, for what felt like the first time in months, he fell into a deep, dreamless sleep.

  Chapter 29

  For the second Sunday in a row, Rebecca awoke with an emotional hangover.

  She grimaced before she even opened her eyes, recalling how appallingly she’d behaved last night. How could she tell her husband that he was going to be a father…and then just as quickly tell him he wasn’t? She’d never
seen such a wide array of emotion on a person’s face in such a short period of time.

  Rebecca turned towards Alec and wasn’t surprised to find him awake. “Hey,” he whispered.

  She settled against her pillow. “Hey.”

  “Hell of a week.”

  In spite of herself, she managed to laugh. “You can say that again.”

  “How are you feeling?”

  “Like a total idiot.”

  “Don’t,” he said, resting his hand on her cheek. “It was an honest mistake, Bec. It happens.”

  She searched his eyes. “What would we have done if it wasn’t?”

  Alec gave a gentle smile before he touched his lips to hers. “We would’ve found a way to make it work.”

  Rebecca knew he’d say as much, but it still comforted her to hear the words aloud. She traced her fingers along his unshaven jaw and gave a quiet sigh when he enveloped his arms around her. They kissed for a long time, their limbs entwined beneath the soft flannel sheets, before Alec drew back to look at her.

  “You gonna be okay?” he asked.

  “Yeah. I’ll be fine.”

  She must not have sounded very convincing, because Alec frowned at her tone. “What is it?”

  Rebecca hesitated, debating whether to say what had been weighing on her mind all week. “This isn’t the first time I’ve had a scare,” she admitted. “It happened once when I was with Sean.”

  His eyes widened. “You never told me that.”

  “There’s never been a reason to.” She paused to collect her thoughts. “I was eighteen, and we’d only been dating for a couple months. I never ended up telling him, because I was terrified of what his reaction would be.”

  Alec cringed. “Is that why you waited so long to tell me?”

  She dropped her gaze to the duvet. “I know that must sound ridiculous.”

  “It doesn’t sound ridiculous,” he replied, tilting her chin up until their eyes met. “But I hope by now you know that I could never hurt you like he did.”

  “I do know that. But sometimes I have to remind myself that this is my life now. Sometimes I still wake up and expect to be trapped back in Southie.”

  “Well, you’re not,” he assured her. “So you don’t need to worry about that, okay? There’s nothing you could ever tell me that would make me turn my back on you.”

  Rebecca managed a wobbly smile. “Have I told you recently how much I love you?”

  “Yes.” He rested his face against hers. “But I never get tired of hearing it.”

  *

  After sharing breakfast together, Rebecca joined Walter in the living room while Alec headed down to the barn. He strode into the aisle to find Tommy unlocking the door to the office.

  “When do our check-ins start today?” Alec called.

  “Not ‘til four.”

  “Anything I need to know about?”

  Tommy shrugged. “Not that I can think of.”

  Already his day was looking up. He stopped outside Onyx’s door and was about to reach for his halter when Tommy spoke again. “How’s Rebecca feeling?”

  Alec paused midmotion and glanced at his friend, wondering if Rebecca had said something to him last night. Judging by the look on his face, she had.

  “She’ll be fine,” he replied. “I want her to have the day off, though. If you need anything, call me on my cell.”

  A few minutes later, he led Onyx out of the barn and swung into the saddle. The cloud cover from the previous night had burned off with the dawn, leaving behind a crystal clear summer sky. The morning sun felt warm on his face as he wheeled his horse around to head for the pine grove. As he approached the front paddocks, he spotted Shania with her foot propped on the fence, thoughtfully studying the nearby herd.

  “Cheyenne’s the oldest horse on the ranch now,” Alec called. “He’ll be thirty-three soon.”

  Shania nodded without diverting her gaze. “Like me.”

  “Yeah. He injured his stifle a few years ago. It healed up well, but I don’t want to risk putting anyone on him and aggravating it.” He pulled Onyx to a stop and indicated the swaybacked bay beside Cheyenne. “I think this’ll be Midnight’s last season. He’s still sound, but he’s pushing thirty, too. I figure he’s more than earned his retirement.”

  A moment of silence passed before she turned to him. “Look, Alec, about last night–”

  “It’s fine, Shania. You have nothing to apologize for.”

  “I just didn’t want you to think that I was…” She stopped short and shook her head. “I had no right to do that, and I’m sorry. I guess I’m just still trying to figure out how to act around you now. We could always be so open with each other, you know? And now that you’re married…it changes things.”

  In a strange way, the thought kind of saddened him. “Yeah,” he said, dropping his gaze to the reins. “I suppose it does.”

  Shania stepped closer and smoothed her hand down Onyx’s face. “Are you feeling any better today, at least?”

  “Much. Turns out it was a false alarm.”

  She gave a sympathetic grin. “Tell her not to be too hard on herself. Every woman has a scare or two.”

  Her response surprised him, but he knew better than to ask for details. Instead he gave an appreciative nod and nudged Onyx forward while Shania turned to head back to the barn.

  Soon he and Onyx were cutting a fresh path through the pine grove, moving away from the confines of the ranch. Alec didn’t know or care where they were going. He had nothing on his agenda today except clearing his mind, and this was the best way he knew to do it. The stallion’s breaths came out in rhythmic little snorts as he cantered through the tall grass, carrying Alec towards their unknown destination.

  They reached the end of his property and the adjoining border of the National Forest. Alec rode along the fence for a while until he reached a sagging gate that had definitely seen better days. He reached down and lifted the gate from the ground, slowly pivoting Onyx around as they squeezed through the narrow opening. When they reached the other side, Alec stopped his horse and surveyed the spread of yellow grassland that stretched out before them.

  Had he ever been here before? He thought he’d ridden through every inch of his land and all of the neighboring properties, but he had no recollection of this place.

  He was many miles closer to the Tetons than he was at the farmhouse. The mountains towered mightily against the turquoise sky, casting short shadows in the midday sun. Another shadow crossed the ground in front of them, and he looked up to see a magnificent bald eagle soaring directly over their heads.

  Alec dropped the reins and nudged Onyx forward, letting the horse choose his own path across the prairie. The sagebrush was tall in this area–tall enough for him to reach down and grasp the highest branches. He crushed the leaves between his fingers and lifted his hand to his nose, inhaling the bitter, pungent scent of sage. Then he closed his eyes and released a deep breath, feeling the last of the week’s anxieties depart from his mind.

  He didn’t know how long they walked or which direction they headed. It wasn’t until his horse came to a sudden stop that Alec finally opened his eyes. He was surprised to find himself staring at an old corral that was half-buried in the tall grass. The metal railings were dented and covered in rust, the obvious result of years of neglect.

  Alec frowned and glanced around, wondering where the nearest homestead was. To his knowledge, this land belonged to the National Forest Service.

  What was a round pen doing out here in the middle of nowhere?

  He dropped his gaze to his watch and was startled to see how late it was. The day was half gone, and he was hours away from the ranch. As much as he was enjoying their excursion, he needed to get back. He started to turn his horse and frowned again when Onyx refused and threw up his head. Onyx never balked at his commands. He squeezed his heels into the horse’s sides to ask him to move forward. The stallion backed up instead, his entire body stiffening beneath the sad
dle.

  “What’s the matter with you?” he said, flicking the ends of the reins against the horse’s flank. “Let’s go.”

  The next instant, Alec gasped as his horse reared up, slashing his forelegs through the air. “Whoa!” he cried, gripping Onyx’s mane to secure his seat. “Easy, boy!”

  Onyx dropped to all-fours again and released a loud snort. Alec re-centered himself in the saddle and placed a gentle hand on the stallion’s neck to calm him.

  What happened next caught him completely by surprise. Onyx arched his neck and turned his head at an unnatural angle, until the two of them were virtually face-to-face. An eerie shiver rippled down Alec’s spine when he realized that the horse was looking at him.

  “What?” he asked aloud.

  Onyx didn’t divert his gaze. For the strangest reason, Alec sensed that he needed to get off his back. He swung a leg over his rump and descended to the ground, taking an uncertain step back. Onyx swished his tail and stepped forward, pulling the reins right out of Alec’s hands.

  He watched in bewilderment as Onyx circled the perimeter of the old corral and entered it through the gate that was hanging ajar on the opposite side. Then the stallion stopped in the center and looked at Alec again, as if to say, What are you waiting for?

  Alec placed a foot on the railing to test its sturdiness before he climbed over it and dropped into the corral. Onyx stared back at him for a minute before he stretched out his neck and lowered his head to the ground. Alec felt peculiarly detached from his surroundings as he approached the horse and placed his hand behind his ears to remove the bridle from his face. He set it in the grass and reached for the cinch next.

  He didn’t understand why he was doing it, but he somehow sensed that it was what he was supposed to do. Onyx stood quietly while Alec unfastened the buckles to the cinch and the breastcollar and removed the saddle from his back. Finally he pulled the saddle pad off and took several steps back, trying to make sense of what he’d just done.