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If he hadn't what? It was so frustrating because I didn't know what he had done. How could I ever accuse the only man I would ever love, the only man who would ever see me for who I am of turning me into some kind of freak. I didn't look any different than I ever had in my dreams, other than maybe a little older. This dream couldn't have been more than ten years down the road. I was still young and still so beautiful, but for some reason I now saw myself as a freak, and blamed Chris for it.
“Captain?” Walter asked a concerned look on his face.
“Just feeling a little lonely, wishing I were home with my family Lieutenant. Nothing to worry about I promise,” I said.
Traci gave the babies over to Walter and watched me for a while as though trying to figure out something that didn't make sense.
“Can I talk to you in private Captain? If I know Walter he won't even notice until one of the boys starts making a fuss,” she said.
“What is it ma'am?” I asked.
“Walter told me your units name is the White Rose. Does White Rose mean something special to you?” she asked.
“You mean why did I name my unit the White Rose? I guess I did it because it just sounded right. A commander I've studied since I first went to special forces training named his company Rose company. My company had been out and on our way back ran into Rose company and the commander had been wounded and presumed dead by his second in command. I ordered some of my men to go back where he had fallen and bring back all our men they could find. The commander wasn't among those they brought back. There wasn't even a trace he had ever been there. I guess I named my recon unit in honor of him,” I said.
“I just thought maybe there might be another reason. The White Rose has always stood for purity and strength, my mom use to tell stories about someone who would be known to the world as the White Rose, but then I guess that couldn't be you anyway since your a man and the White Rose of the stories is a woman,” she said.
“Major Jackson was telling me his mother use to tell him similar stories. From what he told me of them they sound like fairytales ma'am. I don't mean any disrespect, but I feel the same for fairytales as I do for gods. I don't believe in them,” I said.
“I can imagine. Captain I hope you don't think I believe in god I don't, but Walter does and what I said was for his benefit and yours if you believed,” she said.
“There was no offense ma'am. I was raised in a religious home, but I've always been one that if you can't prove something through science chances are it isn't real. I know there are a lot of things that happen that science can't explain yet, but that doesn't mean there's a god that's making them happen,” I said.
“You do kind of remind me of the White Rose in those stories. I'm just glad you were able to bring Walter and those other men home,” she said.
One of the babies started fussing and Traci went over to help while I sat there thinking about what we talked about. With the ease the words came off her tongue, I assumed she did believe in god. Now I wondered if maybe there was something else moving in this life I didn't understand.
The Hidden Rose Page 17
