I want to find out every little detail about Andy because I have an addiction that needs feeding, and this man holds the keys to a vault of information, so I don’t know where to start.
“Andy’s always been a bit of an odd duck,” Mark says. It’s almost as if he’s sensed my curiosity. “My other kids, they’re a lot like me. Athletic, rowdy, loud, outgoing. Andy was never like that. He even looks different with that crazy hair of his, and the pale skin. We’d all be out together on a family outing, and people would look at my other kids and then look at Andy, and then they’d give me those sympathetic glances, like, Oh, that poor schmuck is probably raising the neighbor’s kid.” Mark chuckles and shakes his head at the memory. “Andy looks just like his grandpa, Jane’s dad. The guy was a farmer and a real bookworm. Always had a book in hand or tucked in the back pocket of his jeans. Read odd paragraphs here and there whenever he had a free moment. I guess Andy takes after him.”
“Genetics are weird,” I conclude.
Mark smiles. “Exactly.” He looks back at the wall. “I used to worry about Andy,” he confesses. “Well, I worry about all my children, it comes with the job of being a dad, but Andy… he didn’t have it as easy as my other kids. I suspect he didn’t tell anybody how bad school got for him, but for a while there, he just seemed to lose all his spark. It got a bit better for Andy when the Asolas moved next door, and Falcon took Andy under his wing.”
I’m not sure where Mark is going with this, but I get an uncomfortable feeling in my stomach. What if he’s detected my feelings and is now trying to warn me off because he wants to see his son with Falcon?
Aaand I’m officially nuts. Great.
“This summer, though?” Mark continues, blissfully unaware of my inner turmoil. “Andy’s… it’s almost like he’s coming out of his shell. There’s this wonderful, magnificent person hidden inside of Andy, but it was as if he was afraid to let anybody see it. He was holding back, even with his family, and I think he’s been doing it for so long that he doesn’t even realize the extent of it himself.” Mark touches my arm, prompting me to look at him. “And then he suddenly mentions this guy he’s helping in his free time. And then he starts skipping our Monday night calls because he’s busy tutoring. And then he mentions the name Law more and more frequently, with each conversation. He has all these new things he’s trying: the gym, hiking, tutoring. And he sounds so damn happy.”
It sounds like Mark is giving me a lot of credit for something that I don’t think I’ve had that big of a part in, so I say nothing and keep my eyes trained on the wall of photographs.
“I guess I’m just trying to say that… we’re all glad Andy found you,” Mark says before he claps me on the back and heads toward the kitchen, leaving me standing there, more confused than ever.
19
Andy
Friday flies by in a flurry of preparations. We’ve never been one of those families where the mom has to slave away for a week before the holidays to cook and clean for the family. Instead, for as long as I can remember, we’ve all come in a day early and spent that day preparing for the next day’s festivities.
“It’s because Dad is such a feminist,” Mom always says with an affectionate smile.
I’ve chopped and diced and minced everything Mom has pushed in front of me over the last several hours. Law has been next to me the whole time. He’s been relegated to peeling duties since Mom wasn’t impressed with what Law did to the garlic he was supposed to mince.
It’s Ryan and Ian’s turn to tackle the cake this year, while Cecilia, Emily, Landon and Dad deal with the yard. We have a huge backyard, which is in a perpetual state of disarray. None of us mind, but in the spirit of holidays, we usually mow the lawn and clean it up a bit.
By six o’clock, we’re done for the day. We’ve prepped the food for tomorrow’s garden party. The yard doesn’t look as overgrown as it usually does, and Law, my siblings, and I are chilling out on the back porch, watching Ian and Landon bicker as they try to hang up the string lights Mom bought.
“Can you not pull it?” Ian grouses from his spot on the porch.
“Oh, I’m sorry,” Landon says sweetly. “I thought you wanted the lights to hang. Didn’t realize you were planning to just lay them on the ground.” Ian yanks at the cord and Landon stumbles a few steps forward.
“Hey!” he protests and immediately retaliates by pulling the cord himself. Ian loses his balance and steps on one of the bulbs. It’s a miracle it took so long for the first casualty.
“You little shit,” Ian says matter-of-factly as he lets go of the cord and steps over the mess of lights on the ground in front of him. Landon’s eyes flitter left and right as Ian approaches. Without warning, Landon takes off toward the trees at the back of the yard. Ian jumps over the railing and follows him until they both disappear into the forest and only an occasional shout informs us they’re both still alive out there.
Cecilia shakes her head as she leans against her husband. “We should have done it ourselves. Less blood to clean up later.”
Ryan stretches out on the porch, totally unconcerned about the well-being of his twin. “It wouldn’t have been as entertaining. Watching Ian and Landon try and hang the lights is the highlight of my month.”
Law cocks his head to the side and smiles. “That happens every year?” he asks, pointing to the trees where Ian is still, presumably, chasing after Landon. Unless one of them has already killed the other.
“Oh yeah.” Emily chuckles. “It’s part of the plan. Prepare the food. Clean up the garden. Watch Ian and Landon duke it out over hanging the lights. When you think about it, it’s like a tradition.”
“You guys are a strange bunch,” Law says, but with an affectionate smile, like he doesn’t mind at all.
“Thank you,” Cecilia replies and grins.
Matt looks at Law. “Don’t worry, you’ll get used to the weirdness.”
“We’ll turn you into one of us,” Ryan says from his spot on the ground. “We thought Matt would never get rid of that stick up his ass when Cecilia started bringing him around, but look at him now. We’ve been sitting here for at least an hour, and he hasn’t brought up work once.”
Emily straightens herself. “That’s a good point. Now that you’ve mentioned it, I haven’t seen him on the phone once all day. What gives, Mattie? Did you crash the stock market and are in hiding?”
“Hey! I’ll let you know, I can relax and not work just fine,” Matt protests.
“Says the guy who threw a hissy fit in the airport when his luggage got lost.”
“To be fair,” Law says diplomatically, “it sucks when that happens.”
“They were on their way to their honeymoon, and Matt had hidden his laptop in his suitcase,” Emily says, and everybody starts laughing. “According to Cecilia, Matt had an epic meltdown.”
“If you must know, I’ve decided to reevaluate my work-life balance,” Matt says primly, before he looks to the side and mutters, “and Cee confiscated my phone because I was using it at the dinner table. I’ve got a one-week penalty.”
There’s a beat of silence before everybody erupts into laughter again. Matt and Cecilia are one of those couples who seem like they come from two different planets. But they just fit, even though my hippy, music teacher sister is Matt’s polar opposite in nearly everything.
My eyes search out Law. He’s leaning against the porch railing, legs stretched out in front of him, laughing with my brothers and sisters. He’s seamlessly merged into the family dynamic, and everybody treats him like he’s not a guest, but a member of the family. Law’s quick wit and good sense of humor mean that he can give it as good as he gets when it comes to teasing and bantering, which is a skill as necessary as breathing when it comes to this bunch.
The French doors that lead to the porch from the living room open, and Mom slips out with a cup of coffee. She looks at us and then at the discarded lights on the porch. “Ian and Landon?” she asks.
“Ian and
Landon,” we all confirm in unison and laugh again.
“Where’s Dad?” Emily asks.
“He fell asleep in front of the TV when Lily coerced him into watching one of her space documentaries,” Mom says distractedly. “Should I bring the first aid kit?” She angles her head in the direction Ian and Landon had disappeared in.
Cecilia shrugs. “Might come in handy, but I say let them doctor each other. It’ll be a teaching moment.”
Mom fist bumps Cecilia and takes a seat.
It’s a nice evening. It’s barely seven o’clock. The air is muggy and hot, and it makes everybody feel lazy. I wouldn’t mind a cold shower, but I don’t feel like going upstairs yet. I look around and smile. It’s one of those perfect moments where absolutely everything in the world feels right. I’m surrounded by people I love, and for once, I feel completely at peace. I don’t feel like I have to impress anybody or change myself to fit in. I can just be, because these people right here are the ones who know me best in the whole world, and they like me just the way I am. No pressure and no expectations, just unconditional love.
My gaze lands on Law, and for a moment, I’m stumped. When I was thinking about the people nearest and dearest to me, I counted Law in without even having to think about it. I don’t think I’ve ever trusted another person so quickly and easily, but then again, I’ve never met anybody like Law either. Law turns his head and looks at me. He cocks his head to the side and mouths, “All right?”
I smile and nod. “Perfect,” I mouth back.
That’s the moment when Emily asks, “Hey, where’s Falcon?” and I feel like a balloon has been popped inside me because, Oh yeah, Falcon. The guy I’ve been crushing on for years… and that I haven’t thought about in days.
“Earth to Andy.”
I flip my head toward my sister. “What?”
She looks at me with raised brows. “I asked you where Falcon was. I would have thought the two of you would be joined at the hip now that you’ve been forced to spend so much time apart.”
“Ha ha.” I roll my eyes at Emily.
“No, but seriously, where is he?” Ryan straightens himself and looks around like he suspects Falcon might be hiding in the bushes.
I shrug. “Home, I guess?”
“You don’t know?” All my siblings are looking at me like I’ve said something unthinkable. I’m saved from further discussion about Falcon by Ian and Landon, who walk out of the forest and sit down on the porch.
“We decided that we don’t need the lights,” Landon announces and flops down next to Ryan.
“It’s summer. It doesn’t get dark until late into the night,” Ian adds.
“Lights are more of a Christmas thing,” Landon says.
“Forgoing lights in the summer helps reduce our carbon footprint,” Ian says.
Mom rolls her eyes. “I really need to just hire somebody,” she mutters as she gets up from her chair. “I need to get ready. Dad and I are going out for drinks with the Asolas.”
Cecilia pats Matt’s leg. “We should get ready too. I said we’d meet Chloe and the others at seven thirty, and we need to get Lily ready.”
One by one, people get up and go into the house. Most of my family has made plans to meet up with friends while they’re in town, so they’ll be going to bars, barbecues, parties—all of them have plans. Soon, it’s just me and Law sitting on the porch in the fading light of the day.
Law has his head leaned back, and he’s tapping out a rhythm with his fingers. I smile as I look at him. A strand of hair has fallen over his left eye, and without giving any thought to what I’m about to do, I lean forward and push it away. I don’t stop there, though. Mesmerized, I let my fingertips slide over Law’s cheeks and nose. I caress over every ridge and valley of his face. Our gazes lock as my fingers continue their exploration. Law’s lips are slightly parted, and I skate the pad of my thumb over his lower lip. He pushes the tip of his tongue against my thumb and my breath hitches as he slowly licks over the skin, making my whole body tingle.
Law’s palm rests on my thigh, and I’m hovering above him. There’s an overwhelming sense of rightness in what I’m about to do—kiss a boy in my parents’ backyard.
I’m just about to lower my lips to Law’s when I hear the metallic clank of the foot gate that connects our yard with Asolas’ backyard.
“Hello? Anybody home?” I snap up my head at Falcon’s voice. The moment is broken into so many tiny pieces that I couldn’t even begin to count them. I look up, tearing my eyes away from Law. At the sight of Falcon’s battered flip flops, which are the first thing I see from behind the overgrown Magnolia bush, reality snaps into place, and I scramble off of Law.
This moment between Law and me is too intimate and precious to share with anybody, not even my best friend.
Falcon emerges from the bushes and freezes when he sees us on the porch. He blinks and his brow furrows as he slowly comes closer. “Hey,” he says. “When did you get here?”
“This morning.” I glance at Law who is staring at me with an inscrutable expression. “Around nine?” Law nods. “About that, yeah.”
Falcon raises his brows. “Oh, well thanks for the heads up.” He sounds hurt, which I get since, even if I didn’t appreciate the earlier teasing, my siblings were right. Falcon has been my best friend for years, and we have always spent most of our free time together.
“I meant to text.” The excuse is weak, my guilt shining through brightly.
“And what’s he doing here?” Falcon glares at Law.
“I invited him.”
Falcon looks gobsmacked. “Why?”
He’s being really rude, but Law doesn’t seem that bothered by Falcon’s attitude. It takes me a moment to remember that, Oh yeah, there was that whole deal with the feud.
“He’s my friend.” I take a step toward Law.
That makes Falcon purse his lips. “Since when?”
“A while now,” I say evasively. It’s not the right time to talk about my and Law’s friendship. I don’t feel like listening to a lecture right now, and I can see from Falcon’s expression that that’s the way he’s heading.
“So, what’s up?” I ask in a poor attempt to move the conversation to another topic.
For a moment, I’m afraid I’m going to get the lecture anyway, but eventually, Falcon looks away from Law and concentrates all his attention on me. “There’s a bonfire with some of the high school gang. You should come.”
“Oh.” I glance at Law. It’s a chance to spend time with Falcon, so I should take it, but the truth is, I’d rather stay here with Law. This whole situation has my head spinning with confusion. I’ve loved Falcon for years, but this summer, every time I’m put in a situation where I have to choose between him and Law, I find myself leaning toward Law.
I’ve never been impulsive or quick to change my mind. All my decisions are the result of a long and thorough thought process. I weigh all my options and try to leave emotions out of the equation. I’ve applied the same logic to Falcon as well. I mean, yeah, there’s love, sure, but more than that, the two of us together just make sense. I don’t see any big hurdles in our way, except for that telling-Falcon-about-my-feelings part, but after that, it should be smooth sailing from there on. It’s what I want. Always have. Because that’s the plan.
My gaze lands on Law, and the already familiar fluttering feeling inside makes me press my palm against my stomach. It kind of feels like my internal organs are trying to escape, but not in a disgusting, painful way. More like I’m slowly gaining the ability to fly, and my lungs, liver and all that other stuff inside me has just gotten a head start.
I don’t know what to do with that, though. Whatever it is I feel for Law, it’s not the same regular warmth Falcon elicits in me. Far from it. It’s kind of uncomfortable, to be honest. What I feel for Falcon is like a nice, cozy blanket on a cold evening, whereas what I feel for Law is like a cold shower early in the morning—impossible not to notice and it eventually make
s you feel so damn alive. But then again, it’s not generally considered pleasurable being blasted with icy water, is it?
Law makes me step outside of my comfort zone, and it’s not enjoyable. There’s been blood and anxiety and sleep deprivation. I still don’t think six a.m. is an acceptable time to wake up, but I can’t really deny that, thanks to Law, I don’t feel like I’m standing still anymore.
“So?” Falcon asks. “Are we doing this or not?”
I’m still not sure what to do, so I glance at Law, hoping he’ll give me a sign about what he wants to do. He stares at Falcon’s profile for a long moment before he looks down and then at me. He has a weird expression on his face, but it’s quickly replaced by a smile. It looks forced and unnatural, but Law nods at me encouragingly and gives Falcon a pointed look. Go for it, he seems to say. Catch the ball or puck or insert your own sports metaphor here.
I’m basing a lot of it on his body language, and we’ve already established that I’m shit at interpreting other people’s gestures and facial expressions. For all I know Law is begging me with his eyes to never leave him. All in all, this silent exchange does a fat lot of good for me right now.
Law must be sensing my hesitation because he leans forward. “That sounds like fun.”
I guess we’re going out.
And I have the answer to what I want to do, because I’m definitely disappointed about the direction my night is taking.
20
Law
I am in hell.
Not the literal kind, although there is a fire, albeit a small one. There are also people around me yelling and shouting. Again, it’s not because they’re burning alive for their sins, more like a lot of them are drunk and just happy. But if we follow the logic that hell is a place of suffering and torture, I’m definitely in it.
Project Hero Page 19
