Illuminate: Upper YA Paranormal Romance

by Sarah Addison-Fox

  Desperation and panic filled her, making her palms clammy as she arrived at the spot she’d seen him.

  A solitary snatch of conversation floated to her as she dug her nails into her palms to hold back the tears.

  “I, I don’t want to talk about it. But I know him. I—could he? I mean, can some half-lights make you do anything?”

  Fire raced over her body as she found the source of the voice. A girl, no older than she was, stood with a scowl on her face as she talked to a group of other girls. Recognition shot through her body as one spoke. “I remember him. I wish I didn’t, but I do.”

  Her stomach roiled so intensely she turned in case she heaved right in front of them.

  A sob caught in her throat as accusations and whispered asides assaulted her from every angle.

  Just as she’d done three years ago when the condemnation surrounding Toby’s death had grown too much, Merrin ran back into the forest.

  ***

  Tarquin swiped at his eyes and cursed himself again for being so pathetic. His entire body ached, and he knew it wasn’t from fatigue or due to the brisk pace he’d set getting here.

  He ached because there was a part of himself that was missing. A part that provided strength, that gave him courage and made him fearless when he was nothing but a coward.

  Despair curled in on him, pressing down as though he were still in Lucius’ grip. Fresh pain threatened as Tarquin tried to squash down the memories.

  Maybe he should go back to the caves? Find the tonic and just try to forget her. Spoken like a true coward.

  Eyes filling with unshed tears, he placed his head in his hands and swallowed back the bitterness. Why hadn’t he been able to stop himself? Why had Skylar been able to?

  Lucius’ thoughts and memories stirred within him. He’s stronger. Tougher. Can withstand anything.

  Tarquin’s head began to hurt as the words rattled around along with scattered conversations he’d had with Merrin and flashes of Lucius’ memories.

  His brows drew together as more confusion muddled in. An exasperated sigh escaped when he couldn’t find the answer, though he knew it were there, the thought wouldn’t come loose.

  The more he tried to figure it out, the more frustrated he got. With a roar, he pulled himself to standing, ready to head back to the caves and disappear.

  There would never be an answer, never a good enough reason as to why he’d chosen Tarquin.

  He was at the entrance to the temple where Merrin had shown him the light when lights began to dart in front of his eyes. The wind whispered, softly, tugging at him drawing him away.

  The sky was darkening as his boots met the broken mason stones, his heart beating too fast as urgency propelled his feet forwards. He had no idea where he was going, just that there was no chance he could resist the pull to move.

  Almost breathless with anticipation, Tarquin allowed the wind to guide him. Halfway across the cracked paving stones he knew where he was being led. Past the tree stump cracked in two by lightning, straight to the large tree he’d thought he had concealed himself in so many days ago.

  But she had seen him that day, seen what no one else could see. She’d seen a terrified wretch who was tearing in two with each horrific act Lucius forced him to do.

  His body began to buzz, the feeling of tightening around his finger as though the connection between them grew.

  Then, in a bittersweet moment, she was there—breathless, cheeks flushed and looking more beautiful than he’d ever thought possible.

  He stopped walking, using all his self-control not to cross the final metres over broken stones.

  She didn’t move either. Were it not for the way her fists were balling, and that fact her chin was wobbling, he’d be convinced she wasn’t angry.

  Her chin lifted a fraction as she exhaled deeply. “I tracked you.”

  His stomach tightened as he forced himself to answer. “Merrin. This. Us. I was selfish. To want you…”

  Her eyes narrowed. “They talk about me too. They say I’m reckless and irresponsible.”

  Pressure built in his chest. “You heard them then.”

  Her lips pressed tightly together, fists clenched even tighter.

  He carried on before he lost his nerve. “If they find out we bonded…they’ll assume….”

  She scoffed then, defiance flashing in her eyes. “I don’t care what they assume.”

  His voice was too ragged, heart thudding too fast. “You have a chance to go back and start again.”

  Her eyes blazed then, her temper flaring to life as she stalked across the distance. For a moment, he thought she would either strike him or inflict serious pain.

  He flinched when she moved close enough to touch him. But it wasn’t anger he found in her eyes. It was something he wasn’t sure he was strong enough to resist any longer.

  ***

  Desperation making her heart pound, Merrin prepared to plead her case. He held her gaze, his eyes blazing the intensity of his fear. “I can’t be a part of this. They’ve started remembering what I’ve done…”

  Irritation surging in replacing her exhaustion with a rolling fire. “I don’t care. I lived without them. Without the council. Without my family. And it wasn’t until I found you that I started thinking I was missing out on something.”

  He shook his head. “They won’t forgive me. You won’t. You can’t.”

  Her temper built inside like a ball of raging fire that threatened to overtake her. “Don’t you dare! Don’t you dare tell me I won’t forgive you.”

  Tarquin’s eyes blazed to life. “But—we can’t have a normal life. I’ll taint you by association. You have a way to go back to them, a way to stop living in isolation.”

  Her hands went to her hips. “I won’t be in isolation. I’m still friends with Skylar and with Scarlett. But more importantly, you’ll be here. And I don’t care about anyone else. In case you didn’t notice, I love you, Tarquin, and I love the idea of living here with you. Alone.”

  His brows tugged together as his mouth turned downwards. “How can you forget what I’ve done?”

  Her hands slid from her hips, and she shook her head. “I don’t want to forget anything ever again.”

  “I won’t let you stay in exile. You—”

  She interrupted him and knew her voice wouldn’t hold steady as she forced the words out. “We made a promise to stay together. Doesn’t that mean anything to you?”

  His face fell, his eyes wide as the light burned bright. Knowing he was wavering, she aimed her last desperate plea. “If you leave me again, it will break my heart. And I will become the hermit you don’t want me to be.”

  He inhaled sharply before he reached for her and pulled her against him. “Are you trying to manipulate me?”

  Her body flooded with desire so strong she wanted nothing more than to discover all the scars she knew he concealed. “Is it working?”

  Tarquin’s forehead creased. “How can you love me? You saw what I did.”

  Her voice held a wobble as she brushed her fingertips against his flushed cheeks. Light circled her finger and warmth rushed over her skin. “I love you because I promised to. And I love you because even though you did terrible things, you aren’t defined by them. We can choose another path. But we need to stay together, or Lucius has stolen more than your past, he’s stolen not just your future but mine too.”

  He stared at her, so much pain in his eyes her heart swelled. “I have nothing to give you, but there’s no point in Onom giving me a future if you aren’t in it.”

  His movements were measured when he swept her upwards till he was holding her in his arms.

  With her heart slamming about in her chest and heat tearing through her body, she laced her fingers around his neck and felt the strength of him as he carried her into the temple ruins.

  He placed her on her feet in precisely the spot she’d chosen to Illuminate him. With a nervous smile, she cleared her throat and found she was as tongue
tied as the first day she’d met him. “We don’t need to figure everything out right this minute. Just tell me you aren’t going to leave.”

  His breathing was rapid as he pulled her closer and kissed her so passionately she could barely draw breath. She tugged his shirt loose from his trousers, her hands trailing over the ugly scars marring his back.

  Tarquin pulled away as she traced a jagged scar. Anger flared as she felt the damage Lucius had done. He smiled weakly. “Don’t be angry. It’s over. He can’t hurt me now.”

  All her anger slid away as he pressed his lips to hers and everything faded as a pleasant buzz overtook her body.

  A sigh slipped from her mouth as his shirt slid to the floor, and her hands began to trace the hard curves of the lean muscle in his chest and arms.

  Every scar she discovered, spoke not of sorrow, not of his pain, but of their shared redemption, and each a reminder of what they could become together.

  Her voice dropped to a murmur as she took an uneven breath. “Does this mean you’re staying?”

  His eyes blazed even brighter as he started unbuttoning her shirt, his voice as ragged as hers. “I don’t think I’m strong enough to keep away from you, even if I wanted to. I’ll stay. Even if it means living with you in your messy little shack.”

  Merrin’s lips tugged into a contented smile. “Feel free to clean up when we get there.”

  His eyes narrowed as he gently slid her shirt off her shoulders. “Sure, but you should know, I’m not planning on being there anytime soon.”

  ~~T*h*e~~E*n*d~~

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  About the Author

  Sarah Addison-Fox is a New Zealand-born misfit who writes action-packed fantasy with a smattering of punch ups, mega amounts of romance and a dash of family values. She has an astonishing amount of nail polish, has all her creative writing credentials shoved in a drawer somewhere, and has a husband who, after 28 years, can still make her blush. When she’s not working on her YA fantasy romance series' she can be found binge watching Mission Impossible movies, drinking lager and eating curry.