The Hive: A Young Adult Dystopian Romance (The Enigma Trilogy Book 1)
Page 41
‘And is that what seeing me has helped you to decide?’ Finn asked as she rose to her feet. Her stomach contracted painfully again, but she swallowed a reflexive grunt and pulled the throw more tightly around her shoulders as she asked: ‘That you want to forgive me?’
‘Yes!’ Reeve’s eyes misted with tears as he rose to his feet too, and Finn’s heart twisted as she realised that this was it: Reeve was finally willing to hear her out and maybe give her a second chance! Problem was, that after spending all week reminding herself of the way she’d felt when he’d called out her name across the crowded dance floor at the Gala, all she could think of now that he was finally standing within reach again, was of how devastated she’d felt when he’d smashed their stone heart against the dock before stepping out of her reach and out of her life. She’d survived it once, but there was no way she’d be able to survive that sort of loss a second time, and no way of convincing herself that she wouldn’t have to, especially while he was still of the impression that she’d done something awful that he needed to forgive her for!
‘Well, that’s great for you- they say forgiveness is good for the soul,’ Finn said brokenly then, turning to walk away, ‘but though I might love you for the rest of my life, Reeve, I’m now the one that can’t forgive you, so you can take your forgiveness and shove it, all right? Preferably down your buddy Aaron’s throat!’
‘No- wait!’ Reeve grasped her arm, then cringed when Finn shrivelled out of his grip. ‘You can’t walk away from-’
‘You already walked away from us, and when you did, you wrecked it!’ Finn snarled, rubbing her arm where he’d touched her and wondering if she’d ever be able to tolerate being touched by a male again, or if she’d forever feel Liam’s hands crawling over her every time one tried. ‘I wanted to fight for what we had because I thought it was special- but it wasn’t! I mean… I thought you were my best friend already- can you believe that? But you-’
‘Yes I can believe that, because I felt the same-’
‘turned on me as quickly as the other sheep did!’ Finn finished, cutting Reeve off cold. ‘Now you say you’re willing to forgive me, but by believing Aaron, you believed that I was a lying, cheating slut that cried assault to cover up a drunken mistake and that is unforgivable to me, okay? And if you actually believed it, then you’d be a moron for trying to forgive it anyway!’ Finn had been about to launch into a fresh tirade about how viciously she’d been bullied all week, but she felt another cramp followed by an uncomfortable sensation between her legs then, and she stiffened before twisting, pretending to re-arrange her throw and biting the inside of her cheek again when she saw the tiny blood stain marring the pale chiffon beneath her backside.
Oh my god, no! Finn immediately shrugged out of the throw and wrapped it around her elbows and chest instead, so the length of it would cover her rump. Her pulse quickened to realise that she might have finally become ‘a woman’ but if anyone noticed that she’d done so publicly, she’d be mortified! Why NOW?!
‘Finn come on…’ another voice said then, and Finn blinked in surprise when she looked back up and realised that Bailey had charged over and now had a hand resting on a red-faced Reeve’s shoulder consolingly. ‘I know you’ve been through a lot, but give the guy a break! I believe you’re telling the truth now, and Reeve wants to as well, but-’
‘I haven’t been through anything that isn’t as much your fault as it is Liam, Aaron and Georgia’s!’ Finn snapped, wondering when Bailey had gone from being one of the antagonists to the mediator. ‘So don’t try and third-party the blame here! You wanted us to suffer for hurting you Bailey well congratulations- because Reeve and I are over, and you can sleep safe in the knowledge that I regret not just letting him sail out of my life before he could smash my heart against the dock!’ She pointed her finger in Bailey’s face. ‘But let the record show: I don’t regret breaking up with you. Not because you were a bad guy, but because you weren’t the right guy for me... and though I know how insecure you are about being compared to Reeve, believe me when I say that you will never lose the right girl for you to him, because you are nothing alike, and the right girl for you will value you for everything he isn’t: Humble! Even-tempered! Emotionally mature! Trusting!’ There was heaps more she needed to say to Bailey of course, especially as far as warning him against Cara went, but she knew she’d have to spend a lot of time thinking up the best way to do that without subjecting herself to Cara’s hex, and would most likely have to put something in writing and post it out to him before the weekend was out. Him, Hadley and Paige too! ‘And most importantly- willing to admit when they’ve made a mistake!’
‘That’s why I’m here!’ a red-faced Reeve piped up. ‘To see if we can salvage this! But all you’re doing is yelling at me!’
‘Because I am now five times as hurt as you were last Sunday!’ Finn cried. ‘Because you already treated me like I cheated on you, so the rest of the kingdom followed suit, which means nothing you do or say now will change the fact that I’ve been repeatedly punished for a crime I didn’t commit!’ She gestured back to the castle. ‘I told you to leave without saying anything, and you said you understood what I was going through, but you went on and tried to make today about you anyway, two hours after I saw- gah!’
Finn grunted, realising the mistake she’d made when her teeth sank into her cheek again, causing her to stop mid-tirade before she could finish saying: ‘Before I saw Cara will her sister off a balcony...!’
Oh my god! Finn cringed when she tasted blood. I can’t even accidentally say anything about Cara? Ugh! This is twisted! Why am I standing here, arguing with teenage boys when what I need to be doing is cornering Madeline Rowles and demanding to know how she reversed the whammy that she put on Georgia?!
‘Before you saw what?’ Reeve demanded thickly, but Finn was in too much pain to answer. ‘Me with Jade?’ His voice broke and she felt it in her heart. ‘I told you- she means nothing to me!’
‘No, before she saw Miriam take her own life, you idiot!’ Bonnie snapped. ‘Honestly, could you be any more self-absorbed?’
Heartsick, frustrated and happy to finally let someone else fight her battles for her, Finn growled and turned on her heel, praying that she could just get out of the open and into the stables before she could start bleeding in any other way! She heard Bonnie yelling at Aaron to get back, and Bailey calling after Finn, pleading with her to stay, but Finn shook her head and hobbled onward, knowing that she couldn’t even risk looking back now that she’d finally mustered the strength to walk away. She still loved Reeve more than she’d ever loved anyone else, and she knew that she could even forgive him for the way he’d betrayed her, especially now that she knew that there really hadn’t been anything between him and Jade…
But knowing that she could forgive him was different to believing that she should, especially while she had more important things to be worrying about than her love-life, like dealing with her first period, mourning Miriam, breaking the hex or whatever it was that Cara had just put on her, studying for her math finals two weeks from then, helping her mother re-build her garden, learning how to defend herself, and bracing herself for a long, lonely summer of hard work in a strange place! Basically, by living up to her potential now that she was about to be sixteen- not the kind she’d been infected with, but the kind they all had dwelling deep inside them.
I can’t bring Miriam back… Finn thought miserably, as a Tutela gestured for her to join him on the horse he’d just finished saddling, while Mischa turned to her and wrapped her up in a hug, whispering that she loved her, and that she’d come see her the following day for her birthday so they could spend some time together, which did warm Finn’s heart. There wasn’t a whole lot that she could take away as a reward for everything she’d endured over the course of that month, but she felt closer to Mischa than she had in years, which was a silver lining that would have to be dragged from her cold dead hands.
But I can honour her by doing what she
set out to do- by building a better world every way I can! I don’t want to have to do that alone and friendless, and it will be a lot easier if it turns out that getting my period has brought me one step closer to developing a power too, but if I have to make do with what I have without any help at all, then that’s just what I’ll have to do, isn’t it?
The Tutela helped Finn up onto the horse, and she breathed a sigh of relief as he made quick work of steering them out of there and away from her peers, who turned to watch her go. Everyone but Reeve, who’d gone down to sit by the edge of the water alone and was now nursing his head in his hands as his entire body was wracked with sobs. Seeing him in so much pain was agonising, but Finn tore her eyes off of him and looked up at the periwinkle sky above and saw that the first stars of the evening were already winking to life, as dependable as ever.
I’m not going to wish to get him back! Finn promised the first star of the evening, as she blinked rapidly to force back her tears. But I will wish for him to believe how much I loved him, okay? Can you at least grant me THAT?
It was ironic, but after two years of cursing the stars, Finn had had enough time alone that week to truly ponder them and come to the realisation that they hadn’t actually betrayed her- that technically every wish she’d made the night of the Strike had come true, only she’d been left dissatisfied by the outcome of them, because her wishes hadn’t been specific enough.
‘I wish to be surrounded by people who think I’m special!’ Was the first wish she’d made the night of the Strike after she’d stumbled out into the quarry, and it sure seemed like that had come true, only what she should have said was: ‘I wish to be surrounded by people who value me for who I am!’ instead. And: ‘I wish to be beautiful and powerful!’ was what she’d demanded of the universe next, but the people that had treated her like she was both things had hurt her more than anyone else had, so in hindsight, she kicked herself for the fact that she hadn’t wished to be happy instead- to be the product of what she thought being beautiful and powerful would make her!
And then there’d been her final wish, which she’d thought mere seconds before Reeve had walked out into the quarry and into her fate: ‘I wish to be beloved- like no one ever has been before!’
Had that come true? Finn was pretty sure it had, and that it was very possible that no two people had ever loved one another the way they had, not in real life or within the pages of a great love story. But you needed more than serendipity and love to make a relationship work- you needed trust, and you needed access to them, and you needed to be emotionally mature enough to be able to defend what you had against the jealous people that would always come along and try to tear something that beautiful apart, and she and Reeve were none of those things, which was why they had imploded. They hadn’t been too young to fall in love that deeply, no, but they had been too young to handle it, and that wasn’t going to change anytime soon because it was pretty clear that both of them still had a lot of growing up to do, not to mention, a lot of personal demons to slay.
So, although Finn knew she’d always remember Reeve as being her first love, and though she suspected that their story was far from being over, she knew she was ready to start a new chapter now without him; one in which she stopped permitting people to treat her like a cling, and finally started treating herself like the main character.
Because she was, after all- like everybody else who genuinely wanted the world to be a better place- an enigma.
-End-
Thank you readers! Book #2 of The Enigmatic Trilogy, ‘The Potential,’ will be out 2021. Please follow my The Fairytail Saga page on Facebook for updates! And please leave a review- they’re so important for the first books of new series!
Adult Titles by S.K Munt
The Fairytail Saga
#1 The Marked Ones
#2 Three Rings
#3 Heads Or Tails
#4 Stained Glass
The Kissed By A Muse Trilogy
#1 Unchained Melody
#2 Turn The Page
#3 More Than Words
The Highway to Never After
#1 Palpitations
#2 Sanguivorous
#3 Kinemortophobia
#4 Thanatophobia
The Harlequin Bros Legacy
#1 The Harlequin Doll
The Eden Chronicles
#1 The Given Garden
#2 The Forbidden Fruit
#3 The Tangled Trees
#4 The Wildest Woods
#5 The Sequestered Sea
#6 The Devil’s Divide
#7 The Fallen Forest
#8 The Corosive Crown
Young-Adult Titles
The Siren Song Quartet
# 1 The Legasea
#2 The Turning Tide
#3 The Maelstrom
Urchin
(Prequel to the Fairytail Saga)
The Enigmatic Trilogy
#1 The Hive
All titles available through Amazon Kindle.
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