Otorimonogatari

by Nisioisin

Usual. Normal.

  “i know. Shut up already,” Nadeko says.

  …i went and told him to shut up.

  When an “i know” would have been enough.

  But i have to lash out.

  “That was Nadeko… It was Nadeko Sengoku and no one else. Nadeko herself… Nadeko said what she wanted to say, i know. You didn’t do anything wrong, Mister Serpent…”

  “Yep, that’s right─as long as you know.”

  “But i do think it’s your fault.”

  “…”

  The fact that Mister Serpent is enwrapped around Nadeko’s right wrist and merged with her─the fact that he’s sucking energy from Nadeko has to mean that he’s having some kind of effect on her body and mind.

  In other words, what happened was a manifestation of those effects─though of course, Nadeko not being all there after Tsukihi cut her hair must have played some part…

  i said what i wanted to say.

  It wasn’t Mister Serpent, it was Nadeko.

  The things building up inside her guts─the stuff that would have stayed there while i went through the months and graduated.

  My impulses took over and i let it all come out, that’s all.

  Horribly enough─that funny, painful─and yes, pitiful girl was Nadeko Sengoku and no one else.

  The high-handedness. The incoherence.

  It was all Nadeko Sengoku.

  But.

  “Well… Since it looks like Nadeko’s life both in and out of school has come to an end…”

  Phew, i sigh as i try to switch topics.

  The topic doesn’t change, of course, but i guess now that i don’t have my bangs, i’m forced to look at what’s ahead.

  i’m facing forward, even if it’s only in what i say.

  “While we’re at it, why don’t we end it all, Mister Serpent?”

  “Hunh?”

  “You already have an idea of where your object of worship is, don’t you? So let’s go find it now instead of waiting for nighttime. The sooner the better for you too, right?”

  “Oh, well, why not… It’s not like I have to sleep or anything.”

  “Yeah. So let’s hurry up and do this. We’ll find your object of worship, you’ll get your true power back, and then,” Nadeko says, without any particular sentiment, “we’ll part ways.”

  “…”

  “And it’ll all be over then─okay?”

  What comes after that…isn’t something i’m able to think about.

  Nothing comes to mind.

  What i do know, though, is now that so many things have come to an end, i want to go through and put an end to whatever needs to be finished.

  “Yeah, sure,” Mister Serpent nods.

  He sounds solemn─for the first time in a while.

  “That’s exactly what I want. No objections. No more subjection, either─so long as I get my body back, that’s all that matters. It’s not like I have any interest in your life, Nadeko. What you do after this is none of my concern.”

  “…Right.”

  i don’t even feel like arguing with him. It’d be silly.

  And anyway, i feel the same way─it’s not like Nadeko is interested in what Mister Serpent is going to do after this.

  Nadeko isn’t searching for Mister Serpent for Mister Serpent’s sake─it’s for her sake and hers alone.

  To make amends. To atone.

  She just wants to feel better about herself.

  That’s all this is for. So.

  “Okay… Then tell me, Mister Serpent. Where does Nadeko need to go, and where does she need to search?”

  The Serpent replies immediately to Nadeko’s questions for ending it all.

  In other words, he must feel determined, too─ready to end it all.

  “Big Brother Koyomi’s home.”

  But what the Serpent’s determination meant─was something Nadeko wouldn’t learn until a little later.

  That offhanded answer.

  It doesn’t surprise Nadeko too much.

  “That’s where it can all end.”

  020

  Both of Big Brother Koyomi’s parents work.

  i’ve asked before what they do, but both he and Tsukihi just gave a vague answer, like “Well, they’re civil servants. Yeah, civil servants.”

  Their stories were completely straight.

  It’s kind of suspicious.

  There must be more going on behind the scenes.

  i secretly wonder if they’re involved in some shady line of work.

  But whether or not there’s anything behind the scenes or in the shade, i do at least know that they don’t work from home and aren’t there in the afternoon─which is also when Koyomi, Tsukihi, and Karen are at school, obviously.

  Then again, there’s no guarantee any of the three siblings are out given their surprising tendency to skip school, but if they’re skipping, they should be somewhere saving people or something. So either way, they shouldn’t be home.

  In other words, the Araragi residence is empty in the afternoon.

  Completely empty.

  So if i’m going to sneak in, afternoons would be much better than nights.

  “Hsshh, hsshh─you know, they do say that afternoon burglaries are more common than nighttime ones. And you know what else they say? Leaving your door unlocked or your windows open makes it harder for robbers to come into your home. Not because you’re appealing to their sense of kindness, but because it actually makes them think someone’s home.”

  “…”

  Nadeko doesn’t even nod in response to the Serpent’s words─how could i to a piece of knowledge he pulled out from Nadeko to present to Nadeko?

  What follows, though, is Mister Serpent’s opinion rather than any knowledge.

  “I wonder if you aren’t the same way─getting people around you to protect you by making a show of being defenseless and harmless. Of course in your case─someone really is home.”

  “Can we please stop having these meaningless conversations, Mister Serpent?”

  “Hmmmm?”

  “Nothing’s going to come from talking like this. All that’s left to do is search Big Brother’s home to find your corpse… We can do that fine without opening our mouths.”

  i notice that i said “corpse” and not “object of worship,” but i don’t even feel like resaying it. Nadeko just looks up at what’s in front of her─the empty Araragi residence.

  So, how should i break in?

  “And anyway…are you sure, Mister Serpent?”

  “Huh? About what?”

  “About your cor…object of worship being inside Koyomi’s home. Are you really sure this isn’t another malfunction?”

  Nadeko voices her doubts, and i think anyone would after the chain of events that took place yesterday as a result of Mister Serpent malfunctioning.

  It’s not even just in case.

  “No, no, like I said, something came out of that malfunction─in fact, you could say this is going exactly as planned. Koyomi found you thanks to it, and you were able to get into his home, which is when I noticed where my object of worship is.”

  “But…you didn’t do anything in Big Brother’s room, not even malfunction.”

  “I was doing everything I could to hold myself back. You know I can’t start vibrating in front of other people─that’s why I was silent the whole time we were in that room.”

  “…”

  So it wasn’t just because we were around other people─true, Mister Serpent didn’t talk even when we were alone in the room after Miss Shinobu led (hauled) Big Brother out of it.

  i guess he was spending energy then?

  “Oh… Is that why you didn’t try to save Nadeko from Tsukihi’s scissors?”

  “Well, that’s not something I could do anyway.”

  “Still…how strange. Why is your object of worship in Big Brother’s room?”

  It is strange.

  As far as i know, collecting “anteeks” isn’t one
of his hobbies…

  “Did Koyomi or his family take your object of worship from the shrine?”

  “No, I doubt that’s what happened─the timeline doesn’t match up. Probably, my object of worship was taken somewhere, and someone found it before I could…and entrusted it to Koyomi.”

  Right, Big Brother seemed not to know about that shrine being there─and neither did Nadeko until she looked into ways to get rid of the “charm” placed on her.

  “But entrusted… By who?”

  “Beats me─probably some Hawaiian-shirted expert?”

  “…”

  Despite Mister Serpent’s incurious and offhanded delivery, he sounds pretty sure.

  But wait, an expert who wears Hawaiian shirts…

  Isn’t there only one person in Japan like that?

  “Whatever the case, though, there’s no guarantee. Who knows, I could be malfunctioning again. Just hurry up and get in there to take a look around, Nadeko.”

  “Could you please not sound so casual about it?”

  Hearing that is disheartening.

  The thing is actually indoors… He’s been using words like “burglary” and “robbers,” and that describes exactly what Nadeko is about to try and do.

  The sensible thing to do would be to ask Koyomi or Tsukihi and get permission to come inside, but…Koyomi is always with Miss Shinobu, and Tsukihi is just scary, even if you don’t count what just happened… The fact is, it’s hard to ask either of them. Explaining why would be hard, too.

  So Nadeko’s only option is this sham burglary.

  No, i really am trying to take something from inside the house. It’s pure burglary.

  “Okay! Nadeko will do her best.”

  i’d look suspicious loitering outside for too long (Nadeko is still in a school uniform so the police could easily come pick her up). Making up her mind, Nadeko opens the gate to the Araragi residence and enters the premises.

  Boldly.

  Like i live there.

  …i can’t believe that Nadeko, who’s “dedicaited” her entire life to being quiet and out of sight, is doing such a thing… Can i thank Tsukihi cutting Nadeko’s bangs for this, too?

  i don’t know. Nadeko doesn’t know herself anymore.

  “…”

  But the wind is suddenly taken out of Nadeko’s sails when she discovers that the front door is locked after all.

  Double-locked, at that.

  It seems kind of like a new door, though i didn’t notice yesterday because of how dark it was─could they have remodeled recently?

  “What to do, Mister Serpent…”

  “Feh… Remodeled, remade, it doesn’t matter to me─nice try, but you can’t keep out a god.”

  “Huh…”

  What, is he going to use his aberrational powers to blow down the door the way Nadeko did at school with a rolling savate? i’d rather not do something that would just lead to more trouble down the line…

  Speaking of which, they say that vampires and ghosts and stuff can’t enter into enclosed spaces unless they have permission from someone inside─is that not the case for Mister Serpent?

  Oh.

  But speaking of sealed-off spaces─

  Clang! Clang!

  Just then.

  Nadeko hears sounds coming from inside as she’s thinking aloofly to herself─i don’t have to check to know that it was the sound of the locks being undone.

  i fearfully open the front door─and white snakes come wriggling out. Two of them─Nadeko tries to move her feet out of the way as fast as she can, but the snakes are already gone by then.

  Yes.

  Just like the hallucinations that appeared in Nadeko’s shoe cupboard and inside her desk.

  “Sealed-off spaces? They don’t mean a thing to me─I’m able to nullify any barrier.”

  “…”

  That’s very heartening to know in committing a burglary.

  So it seems like those snakes weren’t just hallucinations─and now that i mention it, i didn’t just see them, i think i felt them too.

  i hurry inside to the entrance, close the door, and lock it back up.

  i’m being brisk like never before.

  But when i think about it more, i shouldn’t have locked the door and in fact shouldn’t have opened it. Instead, i should have left the house as soon as i possibly could─even putting any ethical questions aside.

  An aberration that nullifies any barrier. That lurks in sealed-off spaces.

  If only i thought about what that meant.

  But not able to find the time now that Mister Serpent is vibrating, no, quaking─what an incredible reaction, he’s spinning furiously on Nadeko’s right wrist.

  I-If this is his dowsing─

  The sandbox yesterday can’t begin to compare.

  “Gah… Yup, this is where,” Mister Serpent says, stopping─even Nadeko can tell it’s a challenge. If i had to liken it to something, maybe it’s like stopping yourself from “chivering” when you’re cold. He even seems to be in pain.

  “L…Let’s hurry, Mister Serpent.”

  It’s impossible not to worry when someone seems to be suffering right in front of Nadeko’s eyes.

  Taking off her shoes (her slippers), Nadeko puts them in the plastic bag she got on the way and steps up into the hall.

  “Wh-Where could it be? Is…Big Brother Koyomi’s room suspicious, in the end?”

  “Yeah… I’m basically like a compass at a magnetic pole right now, so I’m not completely sure─but I guess it would be his room that I’m finding suspect,” Mister Serpent says, but his words seem to lack their usual edge. “Koyomi is halfway to being an expert himself, you see─and he’s served by that legendary vampire.”

  “…”

  Served, huh?

  Nadeko sees their relationship pretty differently─of course, i don’t think Big Brother is serving Miss Shinobu, either.

  i don’t know, their relationship is like…

  It’s like.

  “…i’ll hurry.”

  i climb the stairs.

  i know where i’m going because i was here just yesterday─still, i cautiously tiptoe up to the second floor.

  i’m thinking of different excuses i might use in case someone’s home─“i’m sorry, i forgot something when i was here yesterday, so Nadeko let herself in to get it back. The lock on the front door was undone”─as i reach toward the doorknob for Koyomi’s room.

  It feels so immoral.

  But resigned to the fact that her life is already over, Nadeko has sunk into desperation─i feel strongly, strongly, that whatever happens can happen, Nadeko can forget it.

  And in fact, after this, whatever does happen─and Nadeko does forget it, but totally not seeing it coming, she just enters Big Brother’s room.

  Maybe Tsukihi is actually taking care of herself in the next room over after getting beaten up by Koyomi─no, chances are she was hospitalized after what she went through, i realize belatedly as i step in. If she hasn’t come out to challenge Nadeko yet, it’s probably fine.

  …i do pray she’s in class and not the hospital… She might have done something awful to Nadeko, but we’re still friends.

  “Still friends… Yeah… If only i could have felt that way.”

  “Hmm?”

  “i’m talking about back then…about the girl who put the charm on Nadeko… i stopped seeing her as a friend afterwards…but there must have been a better way─”

  The verbal abuse i heaped on everyone in class.

  It was what Nadeko wanted to tell herself─i bet.

  “…Still, it was impossible,” i continue. “Because we’re not saints. That girl isn’t a saint, and neither is Nadeko. If someone does something to you that you hate, you’re going to hate them. If they’re nice to you, you’re going to like them.”

  “You’re being so honest. What’s the matter, Nadeko?”

  “Nothing’s the matter…”