Way Of The Wolf: Endeavour (The Wulvers Series Book 3)

by Rebecca Anne Stewart

  “He might have to hold her down, she never did like doctors. I remember when she broke her wrist a few years ago, she wouldn’t let anyone look at it. Her father had to pretty much order her to let the doctor reset it.” I laughed, shaking my head even as my heart twinged painfully thinking about Everett.

  Everett had been the closest thing I’d had to a real father and his death had crushed me that little bit more. Feeling my mood slump again, I moved away from the watchful eyes of Sam.

  “I’ll go clean up the herbs, is there anything you need help with?”

  She bit her lip and looked around. “Everything’s in ship shape but if you get the chance or the urge to make a cup of tea, I would love one.”

  Laughing again, I nodded.

  “I’ll make us some tea now.”

  Sam grinned at me and began setting up everything for Cathwulf while I made my way through the door that connected the clinic to Sam’s cottage. It was small but cute and warm. Wooden floorboards creaked beneath my weight, stone walls and wooden beams giving the place an old-fashioned feel. I often wondered how old the place really was.

  Her set up was rustic, completely opposite to the high-tech machinery of the clinic and more like the small wing the healer had used. There was electricity of course, for lights and the washing machine, etcetera, but everything else was simple. Water was boiled in a kettle that hung over the medium sized fireplace, food was cooked in a wood burning stove, and the only heating was from the fire in the living room that joined the kitchen, and the fireplace Sam had in the only bedroom upstairs.

  It was hard to believe she lived like this. It was far more suited to the likes of me rather than Sam, who I knew loved her technology. Though Mirren seemed to be enjoying the heat of the fire. She was curled up on the rug, purring contentedly while she slept.

  I grabbed two mugs and let the water boil, picking one of her herbal teas that would hopefully calm my senses that had been running rampant today. Keeping myself busy with my task, I tried my best not to think about what Tala had said this morning. Her words had cut deep, as they always did. While I knew she was no great warrior, she was one who could wield her words as if they were just as deadly as teeth and claws. My grip tightened around the milk I held.

  The whistle of the kettle was a welcome sound, breaking the dark route my thoughts had taken. Wrapping a cloth around the metal handle, I carefully poured the water into the mugs before adding milk, watching the white swirl and mix with brown. I inhaled the sweet scent greedily, letting out a small sigh.

  Sam was sitting by what looked like an odd computer when I came back through and she took the steaming mug gratefully. I leaned against the wall beside her, sipping at my own tea.

  “Thank you, Oria. I would have made one earlier but I’ve been rushed off my feet today,” she said gratefully, resting back in her chair.

  Just as I was about to tell it was no bother, the bell on the front door rang, signalling the arrival of Cathwulf and Roarke, whose bickering echoed through.

  “I just asked you to take it a little easier, my love.”

  “You’re being completely unreasonable, Roarke. Walking isn’t going to harm the baby, if anything it’s good for both of us.”

  I gave Sam a look and she rolled her eyes and stood to greet them both, “Alphas.”

  I stood too, bowing my head, keeping my eyes glued to the ground. Roarke’s powerful aura was a lot to get used to and such tangible strength had old instincts kicking in, warning me to keep still and quiet.

  “Sam, Oria. I’m sorry if we’re a little late,” Cathwulf apologised, stepping away from Roarke.

  Sam waved a hand, clicking her tongue. “It’s no bother. Would you like to take a seat and we can get started?”

  Cathwulf looked up at Roarke with pleading eyes in a last-ditch attempt to have him change his mind and let her go home but he remained firm. Begrudgingly she slipped onto the bed, kicking her feet up with her hands resting on her bump. Roarke’s presence was overwhelming to my senses and when he got closer, my whole body tensed up against the dominance that felt like crashing waves against my skin. Something between a gasp and a whimper left me when his fingers gripped and lifted my chin up.

  “Meet my eyes, healer,” he ordered, a slight growl to his voice.

  With nails digging into the palms of my hands and my heart beating so hard I thought it would burst through my chest, I lifted my gaze to meet his. At first his expression was stern and I worried I’d done something wrong, unable to look away from the pair of pale green eyes that searched mine. Much to my relief, he gave me a smile and a nod before going to his mate’s side and taking her hand. Cathwulf was smiling at me, a glimmer of pride in her eyes. I shuffled uncomfortably, focussing on drinking my tea again.

  “Right!” Sam chirped. “Lift up your shirt and we’ll get a look at the little one.”

  With more grumbling from my friend, she tugged her shirt up. I felt awkward, standing slightly away from them all, like I was intruding. The three of them forgot about me while Sam put an odd smelling gel on Cathwulf’s stomach. Quietly, I slipped from the room. The first scan was a moment that should be shared between mates only. Heading back to my herb room, I paused by the door. Amazingly, it still held Quillan’s scent, as if he had been here only seconds before even though he was nowhere to be seen. Suddenly I was replaying the moment from a day or two before, the look of horror that had been in his dark eyes when I’d thought he was going to hit me. Shaking my head, I picked up the mortar and pestle and finished the job he had interrupted.

  I got lost to my work, cleaning up as I’d promised Sam, until I heard the thrumming of a heartbeat that echoed from the monitor in the other room. My head tilted and I grinned at the delighted voices of two happy parents. Unable to help myself, I held my breath, my ears straining to hear the conversation.

  “Do you want to know the sex?” Sam asked, her voice a little muffled.

  “No,” Roarke said at the same time as Cathwulf cried out, “Yes.”

  More bickering between the pair had my lips twitching in amusement before Roarke conceded to his pregnant mate. A few more seconds of silence dragged on, my eyes closing as if that would help me hear.

  “Congratulations, Alphas, you’re to have a beautiful female.”

  “A female?” I heard Roarke murmur, and suddenly I felt worried.

  Most alphas probably wanted their firstborn to be a son, an heir to the pack. I wondered how Cathwulf would react if Roarke was disappointed but all my worries washed away as Roarke repeated the words in a far more delighted tone.

  For some reason, I couldn’t find the joy I knew I should have. My heart ached with a longing for what they had. Roarke didn’t care his firstborn wasn’t a male. He didn’t care that Cathwulf had him wrapped around her little finger now she was carrying his pup. Neither of them cared that their relationship had moved so much quicker than they had planned. They were ecstatic with each other, completely happy. They were creating a family, sharing their lives together.

  Gently, I shut the door, unable to listen anymore. Part of me was horrified at myself for being more jealous than happy for my best friend. What was wrong with me?

  Crushing herbs with more force than necessary, I almost didn’t hear the soft knock on the door. Cathwulf popped her head around, a grin plastered on her face.

  “I’m going to have a daughter, Oria!” she announced gleefully, stepping into my space, my territory.

  I smiled, even if I felt a little uneasy at her presence here. The light that shone in her golden eyes and the way her hands rested on her bump softened me. Seeing her glowing so much finally had me finding my joy for her, of course I was pleased. Of course I was as excited as she was.

  “I heard! Congratulations, Cat. Really, I’m so happy for you,” I said honestly, tugging her into a hug which she gratefully returned.

  When she pulled back, she opened then closed her mouth, her nose scrunching. “Was Quillan in here?”

&nbs
p; I froze, unable to find words at that unexpected question. Cathwulf narrowed her eyes.

  “I think you and I are in need of a good catch-up, don’t you? Why don’t we go have lunch at Lucie’s café tomorrow? I’d talk now but Roarke insists that I have overexerted myself today, I’m to go back home and put my feet up.” She huffed, rolling her eyes.

  I laughed and nodded. That would give me a chance to come up with an answer as to why Quillan was here even though I wasn’t entirely sure what the truth to it was. “Lunch sounds good.”

  She grinned and hugged me again, rolling her eyes for a second time when Roarke called her name.

  “I better go, I’ll see you tomorrow,” she promised, pressing her cheek to mine before running off to placate her overprotective mate.

  It was after she’d left that I realised nobody had said anything about Quillan finding something in the woods. Had it been nothing after all? Or at least, nothing worth mentioning.

  ***

  The sky was streaked with colours of brilliant pink and red when I finally decided to trek back to the house. The herb room was now completely in order and to Sam’s satisfaction so I didn’t feel bad for leaving a little before the clinic closed. I paused from rounding the corner to go inside at the sound of a small voice calling for the male I had been trying to avoid. Pressing myself against the wall, ignoring how the wool of my cardigan stuck to uneven brick, I spied. How desperate I had become, moving no more than I had to in my need to catch a glimpse of him.

  “Quillan, Quillan!” the small voice called out excitedly, followed by heavy panting.

  Little legs moved quickly, barely taking the next step before the small pup toppled over. Quillan caught her, steadying her with a gentle smile. The pup couldn’t have been older than five, with chubby arms and legs, big doe-like eyes, tanned skin, and dark hair. She could have been related to Quillan for all they looked alike, she was his double in every way.

  “You need to learn to slow down, Fenna,” Quillan warned her. “You’ll trip and hurt yourself again.”

  She jumped up and down, uncaring of his warning words, too caught up in the joy that lit up her whole face.

  “I hunted with Mummy today!” she cried out happily, her little fingers curling into his shirt.

  I stayed hidden, only my head peering round the corner of the house to watch the tough male crouch down to the small pup’s height. He seemed far less intimidating like this, with her. His body was relaxed for once with that smile on his face that seemed to get rid of the shadows that often darkened his features. I didn’t think I’d ever seen him smile like that, with genuine carefree happiness. This little female obviously held a special place with him.

  “And what did you catch, mighty huntress?” he asked, grinning down at the dark-haired pup, who grinned back in childlike delight.

  “A rabbit!” she announced proudly, her chin jutting up, hands on her hips.

  She was so sure of herself for such a small thing and she wasn’t scared of Quillan in the slightest. I never had such confidence when I was her age, but there she stood, her eyes holding Quillan’s with no hesitation or twinge of fear.

  “A rabbit?” Quillan exclaimed, feigning his disbelief. “All by yourself?”

  A smile tugged at my lips. Maybe the big bad wolf wasn’t so big and bad after all. Resting my head against the wall, I found I rather enjoyed watching him like this.

  “Yes, all by myself! I crouched down very low just like you and Mummy taught me and I moved very slowly,” she explained, her body hunkering down in demonstration. “and then I jumped very far and I caught it!”

  She clapped her hands together, the sound scaring a bird that had settled in the trees with a flurry of wings and leaves that fell from being so disturbed. I wished I could have said the sound hadn’t made my heart skip a beat in fright as well. Quillan laughed then, a rumbling sound that came deep from his chest and had me captivated by its timbre. A small inhaled gasp from me, my body reacting in new ways, had his head twisting in my direction. I held my breath, quickly pressing myself flat against the wall, hard brick digging into my spine. Had he heard me? He must have. But hopefully I had moved before he caught a glimpse of me. What would he think if he knew I’d been spying on him?

  “I’m very proud of you, well done, Fenna. Maybe I can take you hunting again and you can show me how you caught the rabbit?” Quillan suggested, his tone still light.

  The delighted squeal that left the pup drew yet another smile from me. No, I decided, he wasn’t the big bad wolf, not around this pup at least. That didn’t mean he was any less intimidating and terrifying to me, but seeing him so calm and sweet, I didn’t think he had a bad bone in his body.

  I watched him with a melting heart.

  “Mummy wants me to invite you around for tea again, will you come?” Fenna asked, jumping up and down.

  Just as quickly as the ice had begun to melt, it froze again. Quillan often wasn’t at the table in the evening, was this why? Had he been eating in a female’s home, spending time with her pup? Something whispered about how I’d noted similarities in the pup and Quillan’s looks…was this his pup? That thought was like a dagger in my chest. I shouldn’t have been watching this. It was wrong of me.

  Stumbling and propping myself up against the brick wall, I tore myself away.

  I couldn’t go back into the house. I couldn’t face seeing him. He’d see the guilt and pain in my face straight away. Cathwulf would ask what was wrong if I hid in my room all evening. Roarke would demand I meet his eyes if we crossed paths and I would crumble instead.

  Running, letting my feet guide me, I wasn’t surprised when Sam’s cottage appeared before me. It was really the only other place I could go because I had no idea where Flidais and Brighid lived. I hesitated, staring at the red wooden door, the black knocker staring back at me. Taking a deep breath, I knocked.

  Sam opened the door almost immediately, looking surprised before concern blossomed. She opened the door wider and ushered me in. The warmth of her home hit me like a brick wall and my icy fingers began to burn at the change in temperature. I rubbed them together, gaze locked on the floor as I trembled and struggled to sort through my muddled thoughts.

  “What’s wrong, Oria?” she asked softly, motioning for me to take a seat in an oversized patchwork armchair.

  I sunk into the cushion, watching my fingers thread and wind around each other. “Can I stay here tonight?”

  Sam’s eyes bored into me but I couldn’t lift my face to her. I was worried that when my gaze met hers, she would see my pain and I wouldn’t be able to keep the tears from falling. It’d force me to think about what exactly had upset me and I wasn’t sure I was ready to face that reality yet. My feelings for Quillan were something I kept private even from myself. Facing them meant facing rejection.

  “Of course you can. You’ll have to sleep on the couch but it’s comfy and the room’s warm. I’ll find some blankets for you when you’re ready to sleep. Would you like a drink? Or to talk about what’s wrong?”

  I shook my head, still staring at my hands as I mumbled, “I think I would just like to sleep.”

  I could feel Sam’s gaze linger on me before she stood and disappeared, returning with blankets and a pillow. Standing to help her make the couch for me, I managed to choke out a thank you.

  Her hand grasped my shoulder and she gave a gentle squeeze. Finally, I lifted my head to look at her because she deserved that much after her kindness. Anyone else would have tried harder to get me to talk, which would only have upset me more. Sam seemed to understand me in a way many didn’t.

  “When you’re ready to talk, Oria, I will listen. I may not have great advice or know how to solve what’s bothering you, but sometimes just talking is all you need to do to begin working through it all yourself,” she advised me gently. “Try and get some sleep.”

  She left me to it after that and I heard the creak of the wooden stairs as she made her way to bed. I felt bad for kicking
her out of her own living room, especially as it was still early in the evening for sleep but she didn’t seem to mind the idea of an early night. Shimmying out of my jeans, I slipped under the scratchy blankets. Forcing all thoughts from my mind, I snuggled deeper into the couch. The crackle of the fire and the warmth it gave off meant for the first time in many days, I fell asleep easily.

  Chapter 4

  A Helping Hand

  Staring at the cold fireplace covered in grey ashes, listening to the groan of the wind as it filtered down the chimney, I kept the blanket tight around me. I was freezing, every breath coming out in a cloud of white that disappeared shortly after. The fire must have died sometime in the night but I didn’t have the energy to get up to restart it. I wasn’t sure how long I’d been lying there, not really seeing anything as the sun slowly rose. It had been pitch black when I’d first woken but I’d always been an early riser. I had to be.

  Movement from upstairs announced that Sam was awake and I decided it would be polite as her guest to get the fire going and perhaps some tea on before she came down. It was the only way I could think to really thank her.

  The stone floor was icy against my bare feet, sending a shiver straight up my spine. Blowing out a hot breath into my cupped hands, I focussed on the task. Searching for some kindling and lighting that on the fire, I began filling the fireplace with bigger logs until it was crackling away with sparks of yellow and orange. Taking a moment to let it heat my skin, I closed my eyes. Being so close to the flames made my eyes water but I didn’t move until I could feel my fingers and toes again. I couldn’t imagine how Sam dealt with the cold. Wulvers burned a little hotter than humans so if I was freezing, she must have been suffering too.

  Standing and stretching, sighing in relief as joints popped, I picked up the clothes I’d discarded on the floor. I was glad of the fluffy cardigan that did its best to keep the chill air at bay but I really needed to buy some of my own clothes. Cathwulf was shorter than me, and a little curvier, but I was grateful she’d let me raid her cupboard. The little money I had saved from doing odd chores for members in my old pack was beginning to dwindle too much for a shopping spree.