Way Of The Wolf: Endeavour (The Wulvers Series Book 3)

by Rebecca Anne Stewart

  “None of my concern? He’s my father!” I sputtered before realising any further argument would be futile.

  Quillan’s jaw tensed, his eyes darkening but it did little to sway me. I looked to Cathwulf, squeezing her hand. “Please.”

  She looked away, shifting on her feet, and I tore my hand from her grip. They didn’t understand, none of them did, and how could they? Giving my mate a glare that could kill, I turned on my heel and marched inside. Cathwulf muttered something about him needing to be gentler with me but her attempt at helping only irked me further. All these wolves thinking I needed protected from the harsh truths of the world had gotten old. I understood that the safety of the pack came first, that feral wolves needed to be put down, that my father was dangerous, but if he was killed, I felt that his death would be yet more blood on my hands.

  Even after all the horrors he’d subjected me to, the nights I couldn’t move from broken bones and bruises, I still hoped one day the father he’d been when I was younger would come back. I held onto the distant memories of sitting on his shoulders as he walked through the forest and taught me the names of the trees and the birds that lived there. Tears welled, threatening to spill over. I cursed the fact that I looked like my mother, that as I grew, he was forced to feel the ache she left, that I stood as a reminder that had driven him mad. A small voice told me I knew better than that. It wasn’t my fault, it whispered. Even when I was a pup there had been times he’d struck me. He wasn’t a good wolf. He never had been.

  I paced the hall, my hands clenching and unclenching as I tortured myself with these thoughts. A cold breeze struck me as the door opened again and I was reminded I was naked. Quillan’s voice drifted towards me alongside Roarke’s as they made plans. Cathwulf slipped back inside as well but I turned my back to her and she disappeared up the stairs without a word. There was no need for my disrespect towards her but anger kept the guilt at bay and being able to exercise my feelings gave me a rush of power. I’d never have dared voice myself so clearly before.

  Making my way to the bedroom, I slipped on some clothes. I knew Quillan would look for me here. I left the room once dressed only to watch he and Roarke enter the office. So my mate didn’t want to face me yet. Good. Not quite sure what to do with myself, I continued to pace up and down the hall, ignoring whoever was singing softly in the kitchen as the smell of cooking reached my nose until I’d gained a little of my calm back. Athena’s scent reached me during my next violent inhale and I turned to see her watching with an amused smile. A blush reached my cheeks and I hoped she hadn’t been watching my breakdown for long.

  “I won’t be allowed anywhere near the clinic to train today,” I muttered in annoyance, leaning against the wall.

  She was still giving me that odd half smile of hers. “So I heard, but that’s okay. What I want to teach you today we can do here.”

  That piqued my interest a little but it was hard to feel excitement when my wolf was pacing and snapping inside my head. She wanted to assert her newfound strength to her mate who’d disrespected her. She wanted to hunt down the threat to the pack and dump my father’s body for all to see that we were not weak. I closed my eyes, sucking in another breath to try and calm myself down. Athena’s hand squeezed my shoulder and my eyes flew open at the sparks from where she touched that suddenly had my body deflating. A sense of serenity washed over me, and a weight lifted from my chest. Athena smiled, the lines around her eyes crinkling.

  “How did you do that…what did you do?” I whispered in amazement.

  “She’s using a nasty old trick on you,” another voice cut in, and Athena’s double walked out of the kitchen drying her hands on a raggedy cloth.

  “It’s a trick that all healers should know,” Athena argued, turning a sisterly glare over at Arianna’s mother. She’d been the one that’d defended me to Tala.

  The female ignored her sister to come towards me, her movements slow yet deliberate as if making sure I could see every move she was going to make before she made it. She was a little shorter than me and I stooped down to brush my cheek against hers, inhaling her sweet scent to imprint to my memory. She smelled like freshly baked cookies and it made me smile.

  “I believe you know my daughter, but we haven’t officially met. I’m Persephone.” She smiled, clasping my hands in hers as she pulled back. “The Alpha says you’ve had a bit of a bad few days.”

  I cursed Roarke for telling others my business but I hid my disgruntlement with a smile. This female was an ally, that much I knew for certain. I’d get nothing from taking my bad mood out on her. She didn’t deserve it.

  “It’s nice to meet you,” I replied, proud that I didn’t waver under her scrutiny.

  Her eyes wandered over me, studying me, weighing me up, and when she looked up again it was with a satisfied grin. Whatever she’d been looking for, she’d found it.

  “Didn’t I tell you she was strong, Athena?” Persephone said, her tone smug as she patted my cheek. “And beautiful.”

  I blushed. I wasn’t used to being praised and nobody had ever called me beautiful before. The motherly vibe that came from this female was soothing. It made me miss Kerra, the only female who had ever been close to a mother figure to me.

  Athena rolled her eyes but agreed. “You did, and you were right, but I have things I need to teach her before I leave and having you hanging around won’t help at all.”

  Their relationship amused me, the teasing and annoyance at the other’s presence even though I could tell they loved each other. Persephone took a step back, waving away her younger sister. “Convince her to come to dinner, Athena. I was going to try and set her up with my son but it seems she’s caught the attention of our Beta.” She grinned again. “I could think of nobody more suited for him.”

  Again I found myself flushing red, my hands twitching with the urge to cover my face but that was something Athena had made me stop too. No more hiding. My eyes flicked to my teacher, who seemed a little tired of her sister’s antics.

  “Go to dinner with her, Oria. Let her introduce you to everyone in the pack properly, she’s a good female to have by your side, especially in your position,” Athena advised before taking my hand.

  I didn’t have time to say anything, to give thanks for the offer before I was tugged away.

  Persephone looked positively triumphant as Athena dragged me behind her, muttering about nosey she-wolves. When she led me into her bedroom, I wrapped my arms around myself, my head bowing. Allowing Persephone to guide me while meeting the rest of the pack was both a relief and a reason to feel dread. It was the last step I needed to really take my place here but I didn’t want to be found lacking as their new beta female.

  “I don’t think I’m really in the mood for any lessons today,” I murmured, staying by the door.

  Athena lifted her chin, humming. “You want your father to be found.”

  I nodded, feeling my body hunch in on itself. “The problems he’s caused have been because of me. It’s my duty to help them hunt him down. I need to prove myself.”

  “Are you a scout?” Athena asked me haughtily, making me frown.

  “No but—”

  “Are you a warrior?” she continued as folded her arms and focussed her stare on me.

  I shook my head glumly, understanding the point she was making.

  “No, you’re a healer. My student. Are you going to let your father distract you from your lessons? Because I can assure you that’s exactly what he wants. Are you going to let him try and prove to everyone that you don’t have what it takes to stay focussed? These notes and threats are for you, he doesn’t care about the rest of the pack, so the best thing you can do is show him his threats aren’t working.”

  That had my spine straightening. Was that what was happening? Was I allowing him to get to me?

  “I won’t be here for much longer, Oria, a few more days maybe. I have duties at my own pack that need my attention but I want you to be ready when I do leave. I
need to rest in the knowledge that you’re ready and able, especially with your Alpha Female so close to having her pup,” she said before sighing. “If you’re going to get caught up in your father’s attempts at breaking you, then I’ve been wasting my time.”

  Her words were harsh. They cut deep at my confidence but I knew they needed to be said. She was right. Finding my father wasn’t my job but being capable of healing the wolves of this pack—that was. I couldn’t fail. I wouldn’t.

  Lifting my chin, I pushed all other thoughts away, even my irritation with my mate. I wanted to enjoy my lesson with Athena. It would be easier to learn with a clear head.

  “Teach me to use the energy like you used on me, to calm me down,” I said, unfurling.

  Athena grinned with a mischievous twinkle in her eye. “Not all healers have this ability but I have the feeling this was what you were born for. You should practice this trick on your mate, I think he could use some forced calm.”

  My lips twitched at that. He’d been tense all day and the thought of using him like my guinea pig would make me feel a little better about how he’d treated me earlier. Apart from that, I wanted to be able to help him relax because I knew he was feeling the strain of his new position just as I was. We were learning everything together, I had to remember that.

  Chapter 17

  Healer

  My eyes flicked back constantly to Cathwulf who pretended, badly, to be interested in the new herbs Athena was showing me. It was hard to concentrate with her hovering and I wished she would just come out and say whatever it was she’d come here to say. Athena seemed to sense that I was getting antsy and eyed my Alpha Female.

  “Excuse me while I nip to the loo,” she said, reaching out to give my hand a squeeze

  I nodded and watched her go, not missing the look that was shared between my teacher and my friend. My body tensed when Cathwulf stepped properly inside the herb room, my wolf a little tense at having a higher ranked wolf in our territory. She took a deep breath while I continued my work and when she let it out in a sigh, my whole body seemed to shiver in irritation. Tense hands were less gentle with the delicate herbs but I didn’t care.

  “Just say whatever it is you want to say, Cat. Has my father been found, is that why you’re acting so weird? Is he dead already?” I asked, my tone far too light and uncaring to really be believed.

  My movements slowed and I waited with bated breath for her answer.

  “It’s not about your father, we’re still looking for him. There’s been no further sighting or clue to his whereabouts since the…” she trailed off and I looked up at the smell of anguish that swirled around her.

  Cat had always had a soft spot for Mirren. The cat used to wander around the house searching for food when Sam was busy and Cathwulf would give her small treats. Once I’d even walked past them both cuddled up on the couch, Mirren kneading Cat’s jumper while she dozed. Cat had lost a friend when my father had taken Mirren, and Sam had lost her companion.

  “Then what is it about?” I inquired, quickly changing the subject.

  I couldn’t bear to see her so upset. My wolf urged me to protect her. Pregnant females in any sort of distress riled up every wolf, male or female.

  “It’s Quillan,” she explained quietly, watching me tense before continuing. “He’s not been himself for days, Oria. You’re torturing him. Can’t you at least talk things through, forgive and forget? He didn’t mean to be so harsh with you, nor invalidate your feelings.”

  Sighing, I turned to hang fresh lavender by the window before turning to her. “I’m not avoiding him, and when I find the time, I’ll talk to him. Athena leaves tomorrow, I’ve simply been making the most of her last few days here.”

  The look Cathwulf gave me proved that she saw easily through my excuses. They weren’t lies, not completely, but I had been using Athena and my lessons with her to avoid my mate. His dismissal of me a few days ago had rubbed my fur the wrong way but his refusal to talk with me that evening about letting my father live had pushed me over the edge. He’d insinuated that I wasn’t able to think straight about it, that I was too upset and didn’t understand what had to be done.

  I’d refused to sleep in his room and that had angered him but it’d oddly strengthened me to make such a decision. It had proved to myself that I didn’t need a male to rely on. It had been four days since then and every night I had slept either on Sam’s couch or in my old room. I knew he was missing me, I could feel the ache of his soul through the bond, so two days ago I had blocked it off completely. I couldn’t concentrate when my very bones felt stiff from his emotions.

  Despite the pain that staying away from him caused me, I remained firm. I wouldn’t return to him until he made an effort to apologise. Even if I hadn’t been his mate, I was his healer, and I deserved more respect than that. I was a grown she-wolf, not a pup. My opinion was mine no matter what he thought of it.

  “You’re too stubborn, the both of you. All you’re doing is hurting each other, and after everything you’ve both been through, it’s entirely childish,” Cathwulf scolded, lifting her chin. “Talk to him, Oria. I order you to. You’re putting strain on Roarke and I, which affects the pack. We need our Beta pair. I understand your anger, really I do, but he just wants to keep you safe, and you have a duty now.”

  “I agree. Tonight you need to sort things out with your dark wolf,” Athena added, appearing by the door.

  My jaw clenched and I braced myself against the table, hating feeling like two of the people I trusted the most had ambushed me. “He wants to keep me safe and that’s all well and good, but I refuse to let him hide me away. I refuse to have him make decisions for me or undermine my views because he thinks me too gentle or emotional.”

  “You’ve proven your point, so now is the time to talk,” Cathwulf repeated in exasperation.

  I folded my arms and when both women continued to stare me down. Perhaps giving him the chance to talk and forcing him to listen to my own reasoning wouldn’t be so bad. As long as he’d actually listen. I slumped, finally caving. “I’ll talk to him.”

  If I’d proven my point then there was no use in continuing this. It was hurting me as much as it was hurting my mate. I also knew neither of them would have said anything if they weren’t concerned. Had I been too hard on him? It had been easier to decide to close myself off from him completely than face up to our differences. We were perhaps too used to being alone, to dealing with our problems by ourselves without having to worry about someone else. It would take time to learn to talk to each other.

  “Good.” Athena nodded. “I want to leave tomorrow with you both—”

  She was cut off by a low groan coming from outside. All eyes flicked to the window and something between a whimper and a cry of horror left my lips. Quillan was stumbling towards the clinic, naked and bleeding from his abdomen. Bright red dripped heavily onto white snow. I was running for the door before I could think, two sets of footsteps following until I reached the door.

  Holding my hand up, I blocked Cathwulf from leaving. “We don’t know what’s happened. Stay inside until I get him in.”

  My voice was firm, filled with the strength of my position. Cathwulf nodded, a hand curling protectively over her swollen belly. Athena moved closer to her and motioned for me to go. “I’ll stay with her.”

  I was grateful for that and once again, I started running. Quillan’s features relaxed a little when he saw me while my gaze darted around in search of any danger, my eyes beginning to glow. There were no other scents in the air apart from his, nor any other on his skin. My hands slid over him, needing to feel. The low growl of my wolf rumbled forth and my gaze flicked to the trees once more in search for anything moving in the depths of the forest. Whoever had hurt my mate would pay.

  “I wasn’t attacked,” he grunted, accepting my help as I moved his arm around my shoulder to take some of his weight.

  Eyeing the blood seeping past his fingers that covered his wound, I wasn�
�t sure I believed him. Avoiding my gaze, I noted the tense line of his jaw. Stubborn indeed. He offered me no further explanation, groaning again when we walked inside the clinic and he bumped into the wall. Cathwulf’s eyes widened as she finally saw the full extent of the damage, her hand flying to her mouth. Anxiety curled at my stomach but I had to remain calm.

  Athena tutted, not seeming too worried about him as her eyes moved clinically over his form. “I was hoping you’d both make up before one of you ended up injured.”

  Quillan chuckled darkly, his lips curling into a grin. “I may have gotten the better of the stag if I wasn’t so distracted.”

  I had to take a calming breath but my patience had worn too thin. It didn’t take a genius to figure out what he meant by that.

  “You’re blaming me for this?” I snapped, glaring up at my mate.

  He shook his head, the grin slipping from his lips to be replaced by a grimace. “This is purely my fault.”

  I had the feeling he was talking about more than just being beaten by a stag but it wasn’t enough of an apology to satisfy me. When I began to lead him into Sam’s part of the clinic, he tugged me to stop. I frowned.

  “You need Sam to stitch you up,” I stated, attempting to pull him with me but even injured he was stronger than me.

  “I want you to do it, only you,” he argued, his gaze moving to where Athena and Cathwulf stood watching.

  My eyes followed his and Cathwulf did her best to hide her smile. “I should go back to the house, I’ll leave you to it.”

  My mouth opened and shut, trying to come up with a reason why she had to stay with me. I was too scared to be left alone with Quillan, worried that I would break too easily under him. She needed to stay so I could keep my resolve.

  “I should accompany you, Alpha Female, I need to pack. I leave tomorrow,” Athena added, giving me a smile. And now I had no chance to speak to my teacher about her leaving earlier than planned either.