Way Of The Wolf: Endeavour (The Wulvers Series Book 3)

by Rebecca Anne Stewart

  His gaze flicked out the window and I was glad that heavy grey clouds made my excuse believable. Even if they threatened snow more than rain now the temperature had dropped again.

  “I’ve never seen you drive anywhere, even when it’s storming outside…”

  I faltered and he didn’t miss my hesitation. “I’ve never had a car to borrow. You know Roarke doesn’t let anyone but him behind the wheel of his rustbox.”

  Ben laughed, but there was a lack of humour behind it. He was as worried as the rest of us, tension in the lines of his body.

  “You’re in charge of the pack for a while,” I said, patting his arm. “Keep everyone calm.”

  He nodded absentmindedly, running a hand through his hair until Liam called his name. Wolves seemed to be gathered in the living room still, all wanting to be close to the heart of the pack, all wanting to help in some way. Mumbling a sort of goodbye and something about drinks for everyone, he made his way back into the kitchen.

  I grabbed a jacket off the hook, stepping out into slush. My boots were soaked by the time I reached the blue BMW and I slid into the leather seats with chattering teeth. I’d never officially passed my driving test, I had a provisional licence tucked away somewhere but I’d only ever had a few lessons from Cathwulf and Everett. Hopefully there would be no police on the road or I’d have to call Roarke to get me out of trouble.

  Adjusting the seat for my long legs, I quickly turned the heating on and gripped the steering wheel. I cringed at the crunching sound the car made as I turned it around in the drive.

  “Wrong gear,” I muttered, already regretting deciding to drive.

  Taking it at a steady speed over the pothole-filled country roads until I reached the smoother parts, I slammed my foot down on the pedal. Even at the racing speeds I was taking the sharp bends at, it would be late into the evening, almost early morning before I reached my old home. My first home.

  I felt the very moment I passed the border of Roarke’s territory and passed into what was unclaimed, human land. A lump had formed in my throat, my knuckles white with how tight they held the wheel.

  It had been years since I’d seen the old cottage that my father and mother had bought themselves. It was situated at the edge of Kerra’s land. Though I guessed it was more Kal’s land now, until Everett was old enough. After years of neglect, I had no idea what state the cottage would be in. Hopefully it was still dry and warmer than the freezing air outside for Raeghan.

  I couldn’t think about the possibilities of what I might see. All I allowed myself to focus on was getting there without breaking too many laws. The roads evened out a little now as it merged into the straighter main roads. The sky was midnight black and huge mountains reached up to my left. I caught the reflection of deer’s eyes in the glow of the headlights.

  Jumping, my heart skipped a beat as my phone started buzzing in my back pocket. A phone had never been something I’d needed before but Cathwulf convinced me to get one. I managed to fish it out, glancing at the screen.

  Sam.

  Throwing it on the passenger seat, I hoped that Ben hadn’t mentioned to her I was going there. She’d be wondering where I was. Sudden panic flared through the bond and I knew Quillan had realised I was gone too. More buzzing, this time it was his name that lit up the screen, alongside the notifications of many texts. I tried to let him know through our bond that I was okay, that I wasn’t hurt or scared. But Quillan would tear the world apart until he found me and I regretted going behind everyone’s back. Had I not told them all off for lying to me and now I was doing the exact same thing?

  Kerra knew where I was going, I was sure of it even though she never said. If things got too bad, she’d tell them. I just hoped I could get Raeghan out safely before the pack came for us.

  Clenching my jaw, I pushed the car faster, trying to give myself more time.

  Fuck the law.

  Chapter 30

  Nightmare

  The night was still as I stopped the car at the end of the small, slush-covered drive. My father would have heard the rumble of the engine if he was here. Staying still, waiting for any sign of movement, I didn’t realise I’d been holding my breath until my lungs were screaming for air. I sucked in such a sharp breath I nearly choked and my grip tightened painfully on the steering wheel.

  The headlights lit up the front of the old stone cottage and I was surprised by how well it had held up. The garden was a little overgrown and the front door was covered in dirt but it looked mostly intact. I hadn’t been here since Kerra and Everett had taken me in and a swell of emotion rose as memories of running around the garden flickered through my mind.

  It didn’t look like a home now. It screamed abandoned. Nightmare. Leave.

  Still there was no movement and I began to doubt myself. Maybe he hadn’t come here, maybe I’d gotten it all wrong. I still had to look, even if every instinct told me not to leave the car.

  My gaze flicked to my phone and I reached out to finally check the hundreds of missed calls and texts. The last one sent was from Quillan and it had my confidence lifting just a little while a part of me worried about what the next few hours would bring. It simply said, I’m coming.

  I knew he would. I knew Kerra had figured out where I was going and she had indeed told my mate. He would bring with him the wrath of a dominant male and my father wouldn’t stand a chance. I needed to get Raeghan away from here when he did. We couldn’t risk her life like that.

  I refused to let her get hurt. No matter what.

  Swallowing, I switched the lights off and everything seemed to go in slow motion as I stepped out of the car.

  Inhaling, breathing in the surroundings, it was a mixture of relief and fear when I caught my father’s scent. A small cry tore through the quiet air and my heart stuttered in my chest. It was as if Raeghan was letting me know she was here, screaming out for me to save her.

  Clenching my jaw, allowing the strength of my wolf to urge me on, I took a step forward. I slipped my phone in my back pocket, deciding against calling Kerra to let her know I was here, that Raeghan was here. I had the feeling they already knew and I wondered if Kerra would have sent word to her pack, if Kal had warriors coming here too.

  I shook myself, I needed to stop thinking about all that. My one worry had to be the pup inside.

  My hands trembled but with every step I took towards the cottage, a rush of energy flooded through my veins. Movement in one of the windows had me faltering and the door swung open with a loud creak.

  I took an instinctual step back then forced myself to hold my ground, lifting my chin.

  My father stood with a grin on his face and I had to dig my feet into the ground when he began to run towards me.

  “Maebh!” he called, reaching out for me.

  Holding my hands up, opening my mouth to say I wasn’t her, that I was his daughter, I hesitated. As long as he thought I was my mother, he wouldn’t lay a hand on me. I hoped. Trying to get through to him only agitated him, maybe it was best to play along…

  It made me wonder why he’d taken Raeghan. What was going through his head?

  He was frowning, staring at my raised hands that I’d lifted with the intention to ward him off.

  “I…yes, it’s me. I came back. Is the pup okay?” I asked tentatively, slowly lowering my hands.

  My eyes raked over him, surprised to see him clothed and no longer deformed. Somehow, he’d regained control of his fur but only the gods knew how long that’d last. The smallest thing could set him off and I’d need to choose my words wisely.

  He continued to stare at me, confusion creasing his features and I worried he’d maybe realised I wasn’t his mate, but his daughter. Holding my breath again, my eyes flicked to the cottage where I could hear the gentle gurgles of Raeghan.

  “Our pup, Maebh. Our daughter,” he finally said, stepping closer to me.

  “Of course,” I replied quickly, stuck to the spot I stood on. “Our pup.”

  A
grin lit up his face again to reveal warped, yellow fangs. He stepped closer, opening his arms for me and he noticed when I flinched away. His head cocked to the side, blue eyes narrowing and I did my best to try and give him a smile.

  Surely he could smell that Raeghan was not his pup?

  “I need to see her. I need to see she’s okay,” I urged, forcing myself to step towards him.

  He nodded quickly, his head whipping towards the cottage before he snatched my hand and tugged me to his chest. I swallowed my whimper, my entire being tensing and instincts screaming as he held me. My eyes squeezed shut as he inhaled by my neck and the growl that rumbled past his lips almost sent me into a panic.

  “You smell like another male,” he accused, his fingers digging painfully into my arms as he pulled back.

  Before I could fret over an excuse, Raeghan’s cries started up again. His expression changed immediately, the tension leaving his body as he straightened up.

  “She wants her mother! It’s a little cold inside, but it’s home. We can fix it up, you always said you wanted to rebuild this place, to make it our home. We can do that now. Come, come, you can feed her. She must be hungry, you were gone for so long!” he rambled, dragging me towards the cottage.

  It all felt unreal, like a nightmare I’d soon wake up screaming from.

  The smell of a burning fire had my nose scrunching as I entered the cottage. The old fireplace was dusty and the whole room smelt of mould. Most of the furniture had disappeared and empty bottles of alcohol littered the floor, graffiti covering the walls, though I guessed that was from human kids mucking around the abandoned home.

  I pushed past my father without thought when I spotted Raeghan wrapped in an old, ragged blue crocheted blanket. It had been mine once upon a time. I thought I’d lost it. My fingers stroked along it, noting that it was crusty and full of holes. Picking Raeghan up carefully, I checked her over, glad to see that while she was a little cold, there were no injuries.

  “We should pick a name for her,” my father said from behind me, making me jump.

  Slowly I turned to face him, a tense smile stretching my lips. He was looking around the room, scratching at his beard while mumbling too quietly for me to hear. I had to think quickly of what to do. I’d never make it past him to the car, not without risking Raeghan’s safety.

  “What do you think we should name her?” I asked, hoping he didn’t hear the quaver in my voice.

  Blue eyes searched my face, a flicker of emotion before he grinned. “Oria! After my mother. She was the only one to stand by my side in the end.”

  My heart clenched, my lips parting in shock. I’d no idea I was named after the grandmother I’d never met. It made me sure that he had loved me at some point, for a little while. I couldn’t help the tears that stung my eyes as I looked down at Raeghan. Tucking the blanket more securely around her, frowning at how icy her tiny hands felt, I nodded. “It’s the perfect name for her.”

  My father grinned before making his way to the fire, motioning for me to join him. Hesitantly, I sat beside him on the dirty floor, close to the heat of the flames. At least Raeghan would warm up. I’d wait till he slept, I decided. I was sure that Cathwulf, Roarke, and Quillan were probably on their own way here not long after I’d left myself. They wouldn’t be too long. I would sneak out and drive full speed, letting the males deal with my father, something I couldn’t bring myself to witness.

  The buzz of my phone vibrating against the car keys in my jeans had accusing blue eyes snapping towards me. His expression darkened, his body tensing and I held Raeghan more firmly to my chest.

  “What’s that?” he snarled, the sickening grind of bones meeting my ears.

  He shuddered as he fought for control over his fur and my heart began to hammer almost painfully. I moved a little, subtly preparing to shift to my own fur if I needed to.

  “It’s just my phone,” I answered, shifting to my knees to outmanoeuvre an attack I was sure was coming. I fumbled for more when he turned towards me, muscles bunching.

  “It’ll be Kerra and Everett congratulating us on the birth of Oria,” I continued quickly, my own name sounding strange from my lips.

  Raeghan let out a giggle, as if this was all some game we were playing. She didn’t understand what was going on. Yet, the sound of her laughter had my father relaxing, his eyes completely focused on her. He seemed entranced, a skinny finger reaching out to stroke her cheek. I tensed, watching every minute movement as he touched her for any sign of violent intentions. Searching his expression, there was no sign of anger tensing his features.

  The phone was forgotten.

  “It’s a pity we’ve decided to stay here instead of going back to my home,” he mumbled, frowning. “She could have had a better life, she could have mated a powerful European Alpha when she grew.”

  Confusion filled me. Could that have been my future if things had been different? Could I have become an Alpha Female like Cathwulf?

  “You were exiled,” I pointed out gently.

  He flinched, crawling back to his spot by the fire, shaking his head. I worried I’d said something to set him off until sad eyes met mine. I refused to pity him. Whatever had happened in his past was no excuse for his treatment of me. But his words had me wondering if there was more to the rumours of him being the son of a high-ranked wolf than I’d previously thought. Had he been in line to be Alpha?

  “It was my birthright, Maebh. I have every right to claim it back,” he growled, growing agitated once more.

  “Of course, I’m sorry. We’ve decided to stay here, it’s okay,” I rushed to sooth him.

  Angering him was the last thing I wanted to do right now, even if questions began to bubble up about my family. I couldn’t ruin my charade by asking. The most I knew was that we were from some Nordic country, the colour of our fur gave that away.

  He settled down again but no tension left my body as he went back to stoking the fire. Whether he seemed calm or not, I still felt like I was playing with a rubber band that could snap at any moment. My gaze flicked to the window where I could only just make out snowflakes catching the light in the fire. I hoped it wasn’t snowing too heavily. The roads here were dangerous enough as it was without it and I feared we were so out of the way it wouldn’t take much to snow us in.

  I wasn’t one for praying, no god have ever come to my aid and I wasn’t even sure which gods to pray to, but I sent up my will for them hear anyway. Please let us get out of this alive.

  Tension grew until my shoulders were aching while my father threw more wood onto the fire but it did little to heat the room. The cottage was too run down, too many holes and broken windows. My nose scrunched as he began to cook what smelt like rotting meat that he happily ate before offering some to me. I shook my head, forcing back a gag at the smell.

  “We have a new pup, you must eat,” he demanded dangerously.

  “I’ve already eaten,” I said lamely, fear flickering when his eyes narrowed but he shrugged and ate what he’d offered me himself.

  Raeghan was growing more and more restless, her cheeks so pale that I was beginning to worry she’d get ill. She was still so new to the world and didn’t have the immune system more grown Wulvers did. I feared she’d catch something so out in the open, exposed to the elements. Opening my cardigan, I wrapped it around her, hoping my body heat would keep her cosy.

  The night had grown impossibly darker now and still my father didn’t look like he planned to sleep anytime soon. My own body was screaming for me to lie down but I fought against it. I couldn’t risk falling asleep. The more time that passed, the closer Quillan would be and I feared my father’s reaction if he arrived before I could get Raeghan out. I was sure her cries were ones of hunger now as well. All I could do was rock her and do my best not to cry from feeling so helpless.

  “Give her to me,” my father mumbled, shuffling over to me, his whole body twitching.

  My arms tightened around her. I couldn’t let him hold h
er but when I remained unmoving, dazed blue eyes met mine. “Maebh?”

  “I don’t want to let her go yet,” I told him, hoping that was a good enough excuse.

  Mother-wolves were protective of their pups, it hopefully wasn’t too odd a thing to not want to let him hold her. He studied me a moment before his gaze dropped to Raeghan and he smiled. I froze as he touched her cheek but there was no malice in his actions. He hushed the crying pup, dirty fingers moving to stroke her little hand.

  “She’s a noisy little one,” he said with a chuckle.

  I stayed silent, hating that he was touching her. At first, I thought he’d begun to mutter to himself until I could make out the familiar words and tune of the lullaby I’d sung to her only a few days before. My heart stuttered a beat. The song I’d sung to comfort myself, the one I couldn’t remember learning, it had come from him.

  Sorrow crept in, wrapping itself around me as I watched the male my father used to be, the one my mother had fallen in love with. For a moment, I wished I could blame all the violence he’d inflicted upon me on the loss of his mate, on him becoming feral. Deep down, I knew that part of him had always been there, a darkness lurking beneath the surface. He’d been kicked out of his homeland for a reason.

  I didn’t notice I’d been staring at him until he finished the song. He was smiling down at the now sleeping pup in my arms, yet there was a tension to his shoulders, a slight crease between his eyebrows.

  His belief in the lie he created here was slipping.

  “You used to sing that to me, didn’t you?” I murmured, watching him back away.

  A shudder went through him, skin shifting with the presence of fur. His voice was gruff as he answered, “Yes.”

  A spark of recognition in his eyes as he looked at me gave me hope that he could be reasoned with. I couldn’t bear to play this game with him anymore. He was still sat there, staring at me with wide blue eyes.