by Laura Martin
‘No.’ It felt like a knife to the heart to hear her sister suggest so casually what she wanted to be true. She wished it were Joshua Ashburton she was promised to in marriage, Joshua Ashburton she was contemplating spending the rest of her life with.
‘Don’t just dismiss the idea. You like him. He obviously likes you. It’s not as though he’s an unacceptable match. He’s the brother of the future Viscount Abbingdon.’
For a moment Beth felt the tiniest spark of hope and then, with a shake of her head, she let it fizzle out and die.
‘You’re being ridiculous.’
‘You’re being ridiculous. Why force yourself to marry someone you do not care for when a man you do is standing right next to him?’
‘You don’t understand.’
Annabelle raised an eyebrow and Beth was reminded her little sister wasn’t a child any longer.
‘What don’t I understand, Beth? That you are martyring yourself to keep this roof over my head? That you are willing to make yourself miserable for the rest of your life out of some misplaced guilt, some feeling that you owe me for this.’ She jabbed forcefully at her scars.
‘It’s the only way to keep our home.’
Annabelle stepped forward and took her sister’s hand and held it to her chest.
‘Home isn’t a building or a piece of land. It is where you feel happy, where there are people who love you.’
‘You and Mother need somewhere to live.’
‘But it doesn’t have to be here.’
Beth blinked, not understanding.
‘We could sell. Pay off the debts. There would be enough left over for a small cottage and a modest yearly income. We don’t have to live in a big country estate, pretending everything is as it was when Father was alive.’
‘This is our home, Annabelle.’
‘Your home will be with your husband, with the family you will one day have.’
‘This is your home, then.’
‘I would rather you were happy than I got to stay at Birling View whilst knowing I was the reason for your misery.’
‘Leonard Ashburton is a good man. So everyone keeps saying.’
‘You sound like you’re trying to convince yourself.’
‘Josh hasn’t offered me anything,’ Beth said quietly. It was the truth. Despite their kisses, despite their shared attraction, Josh hadn’t once even mentioned the future. He hadn’t begged her not to marry his brother, hadn’t even suggested a future with him was possible.
Frowning, Annabelle walked over to the mirror and stared at her reflection. Beth hesitated, knowing she should go down to the guests but not wanting to leave her sister in the middle of their discussion.
‘Where are you going today?’ The sudden change of subject threw Beth for a moment.
‘For a ride to Seaford. We’ll probably stop on the beach for a picnic.’
‘All of the guests?’
‘I’m not certain. Everyone is invited.’
‘And Mother?’
‘She has one of her headaches.’
With a resolute nod Annabelle crossed to the wardrobe and pulled her riding habit out.
‘I’m coming.’
‘What?’
‘I’m coming. You keep saying there’s no need for me to hide away. The Ashburtons already know about me—it will be odd if I stay hidden. So I’m coming.’
Beth bit her tongue to stop the protest. This was what she had wanted for so long, for Annabelle to socialise, to forget about her scars and step into the world. It didn’t feel right though, as if she were doing it for the wrong reasons, but perhaps it was better than not doing it at all.
Silently Beth helped her sister into her riding habit, fastening it at the back and securing the high neck.
They left the bedroom arm in arm and descended the stairs together. Beth could feel her sister trembling despite the smile on her lips and knew what an effort this was taking on Annabelle’s part.
‘Are you sure?’ Beth whispered just before they entered the ballroom.
In answer Annabelle stepped forward. Beth winced as everyone fell silent as her sister entered the room. She looked for Josh, knowing instinctively he would step up and make her sister feel welcome, but he wasn’t there.
Five seconds passed, then ten.
‘Lady Annabelle, will you be joining us?’ To her surprise it was Leonard Ashburton who moved away from the group and greeted her sister first. He bowed over her hand and offered her his arm, drawing her apart from Beth. Annabelle hesitated but after a moment slipped her hand into the crook of his elbow and allowed him to lead her away.
‘What happened?’ Josh murmured in her ear. He’d just entered the room behind her and was watching his brother and Annabelle taking a turn about the room.
‘Annabelle is coming with us.’
Josh remained silent, his eyes boring into her for a long moment before he spoke. ‘Good.’ He waited for his brother to complete the slow circuit of the room before slipping in to greet her himself.
‘Lady Annabelle. I’m so glad you’ve decided to join us. Lady Elizabeth tells me it is a spectacular ride across the cliffs.’
‘It is our favourite, over the Seven Sisters to Cuckmere and then across the river to Seaford Head.’
‘What a beautiful riding habit,’ Theodora Potterton said, placing a hand on Annabelle’s arm.
‘The colour suits you,’ Henrietta Potterton added.
Beth felt some of the tension seeping from her shoulders as the conversation continued. It was a little forced, a little stilted, but no one was being cruel to Annabelle, no one was drawing attention to her scars. In fact, they were all too polite to even mention the fact that they hadn’t known Annabelle existed.
As they walked out to the stable block Josh slipped into step beside her.
‘You persuaded her to come.’ His voice was warm and approving.
‘No, she suggested it.’
‘Why now?’
Feeling the heat rising in her cheeks, she quickened her pace, hoping Josh wouldn’t notice.
‘I don’t know.’
She thought he would challenge her, but he just shrugged and pushed on ahead to the stables.
* * *
‘Your sister is making quite the effort with Leo,’ Josh observed, pulling his reins so his horse edged closer to Beth’s.
They were at the back of the party. Annabelle and Leo had ridden on ahead, Mr Ralph and Mr Williams were in the middle with one of the Potterton sisters on either side, and Josh and Beth had allowed their horses to choose their own sedate pace for the hilly terrain and now trailed at least a hundred feet behind.
‘I think she is concerned about my future.’
‘Good.’
‘Good?’
‘Well, someone has to be.’
Beth looked at him sharply. ‘I’m very concerned about my future.’
‘You’re concerned with doing the right thing by other people. I have a feeling your sister is making sure it is the right choice for you.’
‘Are you saying I shouldn’t marry your brother?’
‘No.’
‘Then what are you saying?’
‘If you decide to marry my brother it should be because you want to, not because it is what is expected of you.’
‘Do you even know how the world works? No debutante has a choice in who she marries, not really. Perhaps one or two a season marry for love and a handful more get a modicum of choice between this or that suitor, but the rest do what they are told by their parents. Marriages are arranged. This isn’t a peculiar situation.’
Josh watched her stiff posture, noting the white of her knuckles as she gripped the reins hard and the minuscule muscle in her jaw, which she clenched.
‘Now, I don’t want to talk of my future o
r my marriage any more. Please can we speak of something else? Anything else.’
Josh knew to back down. The last thing he wanted to do was add to her stress.
‘Tell me about the smugglers.’
‘Smugglers?’
‘You must have them here. It’s a prime spot for it, only a couple of days’ ride from London and a sparsely populated area.’
They crested the top of a hill and below them the river Cuckmere wound its way towards the sea. It was another warm day, overcast but with some breaks in the cloud, and as they looked at the landscape below them the sun peeked out and made the river below glitter.
‘See down there.’ Beth pointed to the estuary, the wide mouth of the river seeming to welcome the sea. ‘That’s where they land, or so Father used to say. The river is tidal and at high tide small boats can actually row into the river and upstream to one of dozens of potential unloading points. It is what makes it so hard to catch them.’
‘Fascinating. Have you ever seen them?’
‘Father was always insistent we stay in the boundaries of the estate after dark, and we are a half an hour’s ride away from the river.’ She paused, her eyes alive with excitement. ‘But I do remember one time when I was nine or ten. It was late, everyone was in bed, but I awoke to hear a commotion downstairs. I crept down to see the front door open and a man slumped against the frame, bleeding.’
‘A smuggler?’
Beth nodded. ‘A trap had been set for them and most of the gang caught, but this man had escaped after being run through with a sword. We could never work out how he managed to make it so far with such horrific injuries.’
‘What happened?’
‘The King’s men were in pursuit and arrived a few minutes later and hauled the man away. I doubt he would have lasted the journey to the local gaol.’ Nudging her horse forward, she waited for Josh to join her again. ‘Father increased the number of strong young men he employed for a while and would set them to patrolling around the perimeter of the estate at night, but of course that wasn’t sustainable.’
‘You think it still goes on?’
‘Of course. It is a perfect unloading point for smugglers, and although the Custom’s Officers are aware of it there isn’t a settlement for miles. It makes it hard to patrol, hard to monitor, so for the smugglers it is still a good choice.’
The hill here was so steep they couldn’t ride straight to the bottom, instead having to snake backwards and forwards across the grass to weave their way down.
‘We will have to make sure we do not dally too long in Seaford—as much as I would find it fascinating to meet a smuggler, I think they would be far less interested in meeting me.’
They stopped down by the river, gathering in a little group as they discussed which was the best way to cross.
‘It’s low tide so we could ride across. There is the chance of getting a little damp, but it is quite safe. I’ve done it hundreds of times,’ Beth said, seeing Leonard Ashburton’s dubious face.
‘Or for those who would prefer to stay dry there is the bridge a mile or so upstream.’ Lady Annabelle spoke quietly, as if she was reluctant to draw attention to herself.
‘I vote for crossing the river here,’ Josh said. The area where he lived in India had many little streams that didn’t have bridges. It was often the choice between riding across or a two-or three-day diversion upstream.
‘It is quite wide,’ Leo said dubiously. ‘If you get stuck in the mud it could be the end of the horse.’
‘I would never risk Willow. It is quite safe,’ Beth said firmly.
‘Mr Ashburton, I am planning on riding up to the bridge if you would be so kind as to accompany me. Anyone else who would like to is welcome too,’ Lady Annabelle said diplomatically. She might not have the benefit of experience in society but the natural diplomacy of being born into an aristocratic family and raised as such was showing through.
The Potterton sisters decided immediately to join Annabelle and Leo and after a moment’s discussion Mr Ralph and Mr Williams turned their horses towards the bridge too.
‘Be careful,’ Leo said, directing his words to Josh rather than Beth.
‘We’ll see you on the beach in Seaford,’ Beth said with a forced smile.
‘Something wrong?’ Josh spoke quietly, waiting until the others were out of earshot to enquire.
‘He is meant to be getting to know me. That was his suggestion, not mine. It was his idea to spend six weeks getting to know me, seeing if we would suit.’
Sensibly Josh remained silent, allowing Beth to continue her outburst.
‘He’s spent a total of about ten minutes in my company since. I know I probably wouldn’t be who he chose for a wife if he hadn’t made my father that stupid promise, but either he should reject me or he should actually make a little effort to get to know me.’
‘Can I tell you something?’ Josh waited for Beth to nod before he continued. ‘This six weeks isn’t for Leo. He takes his promise to your father very seriously and will abide by it. He is taking a little longer for you, for you to decide if you want to marry a man you don’t know and don’t particularly care for.’
Beth bit her lip. ‘Mother will be pleased.’ She sounded totally and utterly miserable. ‘So if I told him tomorrow I was sure I wanted to marry him...’
‘He would announce your engagement.’
Beth nodded.
‘Will you?’
Slowly she shook her head. ‘Perhaps another week, just to be completely sure, isn’t such a bad idea.’
‘Come. Show me where we’re going to cross the river.’
Beth led the way to the bank close to the beach. Josh could see she’d been right even before his horse stepped into the water. It was shallow, so shallow he could make out the bottom. Aside from a few splashes from the horses’ hooves it was a dry crossing and they were on the opposite bank in no time at all.
‘Race you to the top of the cliff,’ Beth said, the frown from minutes earlier replaced by an impish grin. She’d already set off before she’d finished issuing the challenge and Josh had to urge his horse on in an attempt to catch up.
As they rode Beth’s hair began to stream out behind her, whipped by the wind from the pins that held it up.
She won, only by a second, but it was a victory all the same and Josh quickly dismounted to pick her a solitary purple flower as her prize. As he passed it up to her their fingers brushed and Josh’s eyes flicked up to meet Beth’s. He saw the desire flare, saw the minuscule movement of her leg so it pressed against his hand. Without thinking of the consequences he placed his hand just above her knee, feeling the firm muscle underneath her riding habit. From there it would be so easy to walk his fingers up her thigh and... Quickly he dismissed the thought. They were out in public, out in the open, and the rest of the party could be along at any moment. Even so it was too difficult to pull his hand away. He lingered, fighting the image in his mind of him lifting Beth from the saddle and tumbling her into the long grass. With great effort he pulled away and watched as she wove the flower into her hair, the purple contrasting beautifully with the honey blonde. All the time her eyes were locked on his and he felt as though he’d been mesmerised by a nymph or a goddess from the ancient Greek myths he’d loved when he was a boy.
‘It is only ten minutes to Seaford from here,’ she said, pointing across the cliff to where the terrain rolled slowly down to the little seaside town. Her voice contained a slight quiver, just enough to tell him she was as on edge as he was, wanting everything they couldn’t have.
Chapter Fourteen
Beth lay back on the sand and closed her eyes. Her mother would be horrified if she could see her with her face turned up to the sun and no bonnet or parasol in sight, but for once Beth did not care. She felt happy here with the sound of the waves lapping at the beach, interspersed with the swish and plop
of the stones Josh was skimming across the water.
‘Six,’ he murmured before bending next to her and picking up another stone.
‘I’ve never been able to skim stones,’ Beth said sleepily. She felt contented, as if she could lie here for days, not having to think about the real world. ‘My father could, and I can remember him trying to teach Mother and Annabelle and me, but I just couldn’t ever seem to make them skip across the water.’
‘Come here,’ Josh said, offering her his hand and pulling her to her feet. ‘It’s all in the wrist action.’
He demonstrated, choosing a flat pebble and showing her how to hold it in her hand and position her feet.
‘You have to do a sharp flick of the wrist and end up with your hand pointing in the direction you want your stone to go.’
Beth picked up a pebble of her own and weighed it in her hand. She positioned herself as he’d instructed and tried a few practice flicks before releasing the stone. It sank with a loud plop under the gentle waves without skipping even once across the water.
‘Try again,’ Josh prompted, watching critically as Beth flicked the pebble from her wrist.
Again it hit the water heavily and sank immediately.
‘I told you. I practised and practised when I was a child and I just could never get it.’
Josh stepped in closer and suddenly Beth was acutely aware of the fact they were all alone on the beach. A few couples strolled arm in arm along the promenade a hundred feet away, but there was no one actually on the beach with them.
‘Here. Position yourself a little more to the side.’ He looped an arm around her waist and shifted her stance by a few inches. ‘Then sway your hips just a fraction, twist and then flick your wrist.’ He picked up a stone and placed it in her hand and then held her waist. Every conscious thought left Beth’s mind and all she could think about was Josh’s body close to her, his touch, his heartbeat in time with hers.
Gently he guided her through the movements and Beth released the pebble, gasping with delight as it skipped three times over the water.
