Appreciated (Club Indigo Book 3)

by Karen Nappa

  Jim woke to a pounding headache, loud ringing in his ears, his entire body aching and the touch of a hand on his. He was having trouble breathing—it seemed like a Balrog was squeezing his chest. Could he be having a heart attack? Where was he, and what had happened? He couldn't remember anything. He tried to open his eyes, but they were too heavy. He thought he heard a voice. Could it be Paula's? Jim pushed against the bone-deep tiredness that threatened to pull him under and strained to hear.

  "I love you."

  His heart leapt for joy. She loved him? He'd never told her about his feelings for her. He'd have to change that as soon as possible. Before he could do anything, the darkness descended again.

  She pressed a kiss to his hand before placing it gently on the bed and rose with a newfound resolve. She would help him get back on his feet, and she wouldn't face it alone. They had friends. She had!

  Paula pulled her phone from her pocket as soon as she had closed the curtains to Jim's room and called the first person she could think of.

  Laura answered at the second ring, "Paula, to what do I owe this pleasure?"

  "It's Jim," Paula fought to keep her voice even, "he's been hurt—badly."

  "Oh, dear Lord. What happened?" Paula could hear the concern in her voice.

  "I don't know. Jim saved a little kid from a house where they were cooking meth. He was near the building when the chemicals exploded." Paula paced the hall. "He's unconscious and has a broken femur. They did a CT scan on his head, but I don't know all the details."

  "Do you want us to come over?" Laura asked, and Paula felt her eyes sting with unshed tears. It felt so good to have friends, people she could rely on.

  "No, thank you, Laura. That won't be necessary. I just needed to talk to someone. For now, I want to be at his side and they won't allow you in the room with me anyway. Hell, they wouldn't let me in at first." Paula let out a rueful chuckle despite her fears.

  "Okay," Laura agreed. "Call me if you need me."

  "I will," Paula whispered. "Thank you, Laura."

  She moved the chair from the corner of the room next to the bed to be closer to Jim. Before Paula could sit down, the door opened. Expecting to see Molly, she wasn't prepared for the two men striding into the room. "Det. Stone?" She blanched and faced Captain Lacey, Jim's commander, with Will Tolbert hot on his heels.

  "Sir." Paula composed herself and nodded her respect to Jim's superior. She only knew the man by reputation, but apparently, he knew who she was. It was either the perk or the curse of being a female sergeant and the only woman to have received both the Honor Award for Public Service and the Criminal Investigation Award. "Good afternoon, you must be Det. Tolbert."

  Jim's partner looked at her with a confused expression on his face. It might have been comical if not for Jim lying unmoving in the bed.

  Will Tolbert scowled at the cool blonde beside his partner's bed. What the hell was Haagen-Dazs doing here? Before he could voice his thought, Will heard a sound behind him and he turned to face the nurse with the glossy chestnut hair they'd spoken to earlier. The top of her head didn't reach his shoulder, but her outsized personality more than made up for her small frame. With her hands on her hips, she scowled at him and Captain Lacey. "I told you gentlemen to wait because the patient already had a visitor."

  "You told us his fiancée was with him." Will struggled to conceal his reaction to the woman. He puffed up his chest and crossed his arms. "As his partner, I know Jim isn't engaged, and it's even less likely he'd be involved with her." Hell, Jim would have told me. Wouldn't he?

  Fierce eyes blazed at him. "I wouldn't know about his personal life, but in here, my rules are what count." She put great emphasis on the 'my' and damn if it didn't make his cock stir. "You need to check the attitude." He couldn't let a petite woman get the better of him in front of both his superior and Haagen-Dazs.

  "Yes, ma'am." He grinned despite his annoyance. Bossy little thing!

  "Excuse us—Molly," his captain interjected, "we were anxious to know how Det. Cagney is doing, and we had no idea he…" Lacey paused and looked at Det. Stone, who was still holding Jim's hand, "…had a fiancée until you told us. I've tried to reach his next of kin but have only gotten his brother's voicemail." He turned to Det. Stone. "Apparently, Cagney hasn't updated his emergency contacts. He didn't have you listed, Det. Stone."

  Will followed the captain's gaze to Stone's hands. No ring! Fiancée, my ass!

  Chapter 15

  Paula's usual MO for stressful situations was to immerse herself in a difficult case or do tedious paperwork, but now she didn't want to leave Jim. He'd been unconscious for over twenty-four hours and she could tell the medical staff was getting worried. She'd barely slept on the pull out couch the hospital provided for a family member to stay over. Yesterday had been beyond stressful with the explosion, her rush to the hospital, and the confrontation with Jim's team members. She could tell Will Tolbert had been reluctant to leave, and she had been grateful for Molly's intervention. She owed the woman big time. The night shift had left her to herself most of the time, but they had checked in on Jim at regular intervals, which didn't help her sleep. When Molly had returned for her shift, she'd surprised Paula with breakfast and a cup of coffee. Sadly, the coffee had been even worse than the swill they had at the station. She should be exhausted from her lack of sleep. Instead, she was antsy and restless. One minute, she was holding Jim's hand, the next, she was pacing the room. Her thoughts raced. She had left Jim without a backward glance, but she had missed both him and submitting to him. Now she had invaded his life without him even knowing about it. What would he say when he woke up?

  Maybe listening to music would help? Paula pulled up the playlist on her phone. She scrolled to see if any number struck her fancy. Ah, Not Strong Enough by Apocalyptica fitted her mood. She rested her head on the bed next to Jim's arm and looked up at his face. Even with bruises, a swollen nose, and scruff on his cheeks, he was a gorgeous man. Paula's eyes searched every detail of him that wasn't obscured by medical equipment. She soaked in the words from the song.

  'Even if I try to win the fight,

  My heart would overrule my mind.

  And I'm not strong enough to stay away.'

  She wouldn't stay away from him anymore; she would follow her heart. If only he would wake up, so she could tell him.

  "What were you thinking, Sir? Going to that house with only a vest. I ought to spank your ass for that," she tried to joke. The song ended and switched to Nothing Else Matters by Metallica, like it was a sign.

  'Never opened myself this way.

  Life is ours, we live it our way.

  All these words I don't just say.'

  Of course, it was a coincidence because her playlist had been sorted alphabetically by song, but Paula took it as a sign anyway. She sat up and stroked the hair from Jim's forehead. She pressed a kiss to his cheek and whispered against his skin, "I'm opening up to you, Sir. I love you, Sir."

  She reached for Jim's hand again and felt his fingers grip hers in response. Was he regaining consciousness? She reached for the call button and pushed it. Molly's voice came on. "What do you need?"

  "I felt Jim's fingers move. I think he's waking up."

  "We'll be right there."

  The world around Paula erupted in a flurry of activities as Molly and another woman rushed into the room. Paula stepped away from the bed, her heart pounding so hard, she was afraid it would interfere with the machines around her.

  Paula's mind soared. Jim was going to be okay! She stayed quiet as the hospital staff examined and tended to him.

  Jim woke up again. His head was still pounding, but the ringing in his ears was less. He thought he had heard Paula's voice, but that wasn't possible. She had left him. He must have dreamt it. He hurt all over, although his head was the worst. He heard beeping noises and people talking. He struggled to open his eyes, but they weren't cooperating.

  He heard a woman's voice. "Relax, Jim. You're going to be
okay." Someone took his hands. "Are you awake, Jim? If you are, can you squeeze my hands?" He tried as hard as he could, but his muscles didn't seem to be obeying him and he didn't know if she could feel it. "That's great. I want you to know that you're safe here. I know you hurt, but it will get better. You're in the ICU at Truman." She paused to let the information sink in. "Now, I'd like you to try to open your eyes. The lights are dim."

  Jim struggled with the request. His eyelids felt like bricks, but he managed to crack them open a little. "That's the way, Jim. Great job. Now it should be easier to go the rest of the way. Give it a try."

  The light coming through seemed bright, even though the voice said it was dim. He closed his eyes for a moment and summoned the strength of Treebeard to open them further. He could see a fuzzy figure of a woman who was still talking to him. "Wonderful, Jim. Now, this next part is going to be hard. I need to shine my light into each eye to see how you're doing. Is that okay? Don't try to speak or move your head. Squeeze my hand once if it's okay, twice if not."

  Jim knew it was necessary and squeezed her hand. He was met with fingers holding his left eye open and a blinding light coming at him. "Can you follow the light?" She flicked it left and right, up and down, and he followed it even though it hurt. "Great job!" She repeated the action with his right eye. Once she was done, he closed his eyes tightly again. "It's okay, Jim. You can open your eyes again when you feel it's safe. We'll keep the lights low." The woman continued talking and asked him to do things like pushing against her hands with his and wiggling his toes. When she got to his left foot and he moved his toes, he felt a stabbing pain. "That's all right. You've hurt your leg. I'm glad you can move your toes."

  Jim opened his eyes again. The fuzzy figure he had seen before was becoming clearer, the longer he kept his eyes open. He realized the voice he had been hearing had to be hers. "I'm Doctor Carver, one of the residents here." She pointed across the bed at another woman. "This is Molly. She's your day nurse." Jim followed the direction she indicated and noticed a small woman in scrubs with an assertive gaze.

  "Good to see you awake. You've had the medical team and your fiancée worried. She hasn't left your side," Molly said.

  He must have more damage to his head than they realized, because he was certain he'd never been engaged to anybody.

  "Your fiancée hasn't left your side."

  Please tell me Molly didn't just say that. Paula froze as she realized her cover as Jim's fiancée had been blown faster than she had hoped. She'd thought Jim would open his eyes and she could explain her presence. They'd laugh about her deceit, or he'd punish her for lying—or maybe not.

  Not able to look away from the battered man in the hospital bed, she waited as he turned his head with great effort, a pained look on his face. Her eyes locked with his, and the expression on his face changed from a look of confusion into a one of pure delight. She loved how his blue eyes reflected his mood and she stared into them. How could he be on his back in a hospital bed and still dominate the space around her? Was there a lack of oxygen here?

  A movement caught her attention and she tore her gaze away from his. Jim had lifted his free hand from the bed and held it up to her, inviting her to join him. Paula felt the pull of Jim's dominance on her submissive nature, and damn if it didn't make her feel giddy.

  She pushed away from the wall she'd propped herself up against as Molly and Dr. Carver had entered and hurried over to the bed. Paula ignored both and took Jim's hand in hers and held on for dear life. The medical professionals might know what Jim's body needed, but she knew what his heart and soul wanted.

  Jim struggled to keep his hand up. He'd face Sauron if that would get him back his Melda. His arm felt heavy, but the surge of relief that flooded his system when she took it was worth the effort. To his bewilderment, Paula started to cry. He couldn't do much more than lie there as he held onto her hand and waited for her to calm down.

  He lifted his eyes and looked over to where the women in scrubs were standing. "Pl-please give us a moment," he croaked and turned his attention back to Paula, not checking or caring what the other two women did.

  "S-sorry," Paula blubbered.

  "For crying?" His voice sounded like he'd eaten gravel for breakfast.

  Paula wiped away her tears with the palms of her hands. She was beautiful like this, open to him. She nodded and gave him a smile, but her mouth wobbled.

  She looked over to Molly and the doctor. "Can he have something to drink?"

  Dr. Carver nodded, and Molly pointed to the cup sitting on the table behind Paula. "He can have ice chips. If they stay down, then he can have water."

  Molly said, "I'll get you the ice."

  "Please," Jim said. "Could we raise the bed a little?"

  Dr. Carver picked up the remote and adjusted the bed's position. "How does that feel? Any dizziness?" Jim shook his head, immediately regretting the movement when his head protested.

  Molly returned with a Styrofoam cup and handed it to Paula. She spooned a few chips into his mouth and the cold melting of the ice was a balm to his mouth and throat. After a few more chips, she put the cup back on the table.

  Jim nodded, which hurt much less than shaking his head had.

  "Could I get something for the pain? My head and my leg are killing me," Jim asked the doctor.

  "We already have you on some narcotics for your leg, and I'd rather not give you more until we've got a better handle on how serious your concussion is," Dr. Carver explained.

  "I guess I'll have to suffer." One side of Jim's mouth tipped up as he pretended to grin.

  "I'm afraid so. I suggest you get some rest and the pain will improve."

  Paula asked, "How much does it hurt?"

  He ignored her question and worried expression and asked, "What happened?"

  "What happened is that you played hero thirty hours ago. Don't you remember?"

  Jim remembered not to move his head this time. "No."

  Paula sighed and started to tell Jim the main events. He closed his eyes when he realized how close he'd been to death.

  "How's the boy?" he wanted to know.

  Before Paula could answer that question, they were interrupted by a tall, lanky man in a white coat. "Jim Cagney, you crazy SOB, I knew it had to be you. You're the only gangster I know who's a cop."

  Jim tried to focus more clearly as he racked his brain and struggled to remember the man. "GT, is that you?"

  Gregory T. Lewis grinned. "In the flesh, man. Who is this lovely lady?" His gaze slid to Paula. She looked like she had been there and back again with Bilbo in her rumpled clothes, red-rimmed eyes, and tear streaked face. From his hungry gaze and predatory smile, it didn't seem to bother the other man. Paula's eyebrow rose in obvious disdain. Jim smirked. She'd sure earned her nickname in the PD!

  "GT, this is Det. Sgt. Paula Stone, my submis—er, fiancée," Jim hastened to make introductions. "Paula this is Dr. Gregory Lewis, GT, to those who have known him a long time. Greg, to everyone else. We went to college together."

  Paula gave a professional smile and nodded once in greeting. "Good morning, are you the orthopedist?"

  Greg's response was a thousand-megawatt smile that had Jim gritting his teeth. He and GT had had the same taste in women in college, and by the looks of it, that hadn't changed. GT narrowed his eyes as his gaze returned to Jim. "She's your sub? Are you in the lifestyle?"

  What? In what universe had he woken up? First, Paula had become his fiancée, and now, his frenemy from college was into BDSM? "Are you?"

  Greg shrugged. "Had a collared sub for a while during med school. Been too busy since to have anyone serious."

  "Okay, guys, catch up later, will ya?" Paula sounded impatient, and as Jim looked over to her, he caught the end of her eye roll.

  "Watch it, Paula," he admonished her.

  Her mischievous smile, different from the one she'd given GT, went straight to his cock. At least that part of his body hadn't been damaged, although it was seri
ously distracting right now.

  "Yes, Sir, I'm sorry."

  She wasn't. He'd bet his signed Middle Earth map on that!

  "So, Greg, are you the orthopedist or not?" Paula repeated her earlier question.

  "Yes, Paula—is it okay for me to call you Paula?"

  Another regal nod from his Melda.

  "I am, and I will be performing the surgery on your fiancée's left femur. The X-rays show a clean break, although there may be some muscle damage. We'll do a CT scan later today, with surgery tomorrow. We're squeezing you into my schedule around 11:00 am. Surgery will consist of putting a metal rod in the femur to hold the two pieces together while the bone heals. You'll need physical therapy, but we should have you up and ready to chase the bad guys in eight to twelve weeks."

  He supposed it could be worse.

  "Will he be under anesthesia, and is that safe with his concussion?" Paula asked.

  "Yes, we'll be using general anesthesia. Otherwise, we'd need five guys to hold him down." He chuckled at his own joke before turning back to Jim. "You'll be in the hospital for another two to three days after, and we'll get the PT started right away. We'll have you out of bed as soon as you're over the anesthesia. Oh, and in case nobody told you, the little boy you saved was banged up some, but nothing that won't heal up quickly at his age."

  Jim closed his eyes and sighed with relief. "At least I broke my femur and God knows what else in a good cause."

  "Melinda Carver didn't give you the rundown?" GT winked. "You came in with a concussion, a punctured lung from a broken rib, a broken nose, and a broken leg. You're not the most damaged guy they brought in this month, but I think you'd make the top ten. We've had a couple of bad car wrecks lately."