Appreciated (Club Indigo Book 3)

by Karen Nappa

  Lube? She bet she was drenched by now.

  When Jim picked up the powerful wand and it buzzed to life, she let that thought go. When he pressed the wand against her sensitized clit, all coherent thoughts left her brain, and this time, she screamed with her orgasm.

  Jim gave her little time to come down from this third one. Before she had her breathing under control, she felt more lube as he rimmed her asshole and pressed something round and small inside her. It felt different from a butt plug and she wondered what it was. The muscles, now used to the intrusion, gave way easily and she welcomed the sensation. Then there was another one, a little bigger. And another after that. What on earth was he doing to her? She was just about used to the feeling when the damn things came buzzing to life.

  After the fifth orgasm, Paula couldn't take it. "Please, Master. No more!" she begged.

  "Ah, now you understand, even with something pleasant, being forced isn't necessarily a good thing, is it? I'm sorry, Melda, but seven it is, to complete your punishment." Was he really sorry? He had a gleam in his eyes that made her think he was enjoying himself. Jim paused and Paula knew he was waiting for her safeword. Even when driving home a lesson, he always checked her compliance.

  "Ten-four, Sir."

  Jim held up a small device for her to see. "You're too sensitive now for direct stimulation, so the last two are going to be with the Womanizer. It creates suction rather than vibration and I've been told the feeling is awesome." He smirked. "I don't know if you'll like it so much today." He held the device on her engorged clitoris and it surprised her how soon she was excited again. Within minutes, she came hard. Her body felt completely exhausted. She didn't know how she could possibly have another orgasm. But Jim didn't stop, didn't give her a chance to catch her breath. He moved the controls on the device to its highest setting.

  And then the punishment was over. She must have passed out, because the next thing she knew she was snuggled in Jim's arms.

  When did he take off the cuffs? And don't I have to have another orgasm?

  "You're back with me," Jim stated, and she lifted her head from his chest to look him in the eyes. With a tender gesture, he swiped the sweat-drenched hair off her face and smiled.

  "Is it over?"

  His chest vibrated as he chuckled against hers and reminded her of the nipple clamps. She looked down between them and he followed her gaze.

  "Those have been on long enough. Let me take them off." He pushed her on her back, and she gasped when he removed the first one and blood rushed back. Jim bent his head and suckled softly on the stinging flesh. She moaned and braced for the other one to come off when he moved his attention to her other breast. Paula felt limp as a ragdoll—she could barely move a muscle. Jim leaned over to the nightstand to grab a condom and Paula moaned as Jim pressed his covered cock between her swollen labia, but he was unrelenting. He pushed forward until their pelvises touched and she could feel his balls against her buttock. He didn't move and she forced her eyes open. He looked down at her, grinning.

  Feeling smug, is he?

  "Punishment is over, Melda. This one, you are going to take for me," Jim said before pulling back and lunging forward again. To her utter bewilderment, her aching muscles started to tighten again as she gave herself over to the sensations of being taken by her Master.

  Paula's four week 'vacation' was almost over by the time Will arrived on Sunday afternoon with the usual six-pack and pizza.

  He came over at least once a week, usually on Saturday or Sunday. He said he wanted to give Paula a break in her caretaking, although Jim needed less help with each passing day. Paula usually used the occasions to do mundane things like grocery shopping or more work on her house.

  Knowing he was coming, Paula had already left. Jim was always glad to see Will because he kept Jim up-to-date on all the department happenings. He knew it would be a while before he was back to full duty, but he hoped for a part-time return after his next check-up. Thinking about staying home alone every day while Paula was back at work was already giving him cabin fever.

  After giving him the latest on the meth lab investigation—the unit was still only finding abandoned labs and no perps—he changed the subject abruptly. "How are things going with the 'engagement'? Have you set a date for the wedding yet?" The questions sounded innocent enough, but Jim could hear the challenge in his air quotes.

  "We're waiting until I'm at full strength before we decide on a date. It will be pretty small, I think. Paula doesn't have much family and my brother is usually out of the country. What's your beef? Every week, you ask the same questions."

  "How did you do it, man? No one in the department was able to score with her, and all of a sudden, you and she are engaged. It makes no sense, especially since she still doesn't have an engagement ring," Will said. "When that firecracker of a nurse said you were with your fiancée, I was more shocked than when that meth house blew up."

  "Just because we kept things quiet doesn't mean we didn't have a relationship going. Paula doesn't have a ring because she didn't want to have to answer questions about it at work. It's that simple," Jim declared, hoping to end this conversation once and for all.

  "I just don't buy it, Jim. It's not hard to see her attraction to you. You're at the top of your game and ripe for the picking. But what about you? She's been on the force longer than we have. I know she looks young, but she must be fifty if she's a day."

  "Just goes to show you're losing your judgment, man. Even if she were fifty, which she isn't, it wouldn't change how I feel about her. She's a beautiful, sensuous woman and exactly what I was looking for. Age is irrelevant." Jim stopped for a moment and glanced toward the kitchen. "Did you hear something, Will?"

  "No."

  "Would you mind checking the kitchen for me? I think it came from there."

  Will got up and went to the kitchen and was back in moments. "There's a bunch of bags full of groceries on the counter. Paula must have come back. Do you suppose she heard what we were talking about?"

  Jim let out a string of curse words. "Why did you have to keep beating that dead horse? I've got a good mind to deck you and then kick you while you're down. She must have run out when she heard you talking about her age. Get out of my house now, Will. I don't want to see you again until I'm back at work and I'll be asking for a new partner when I do."

  Will tried to undo some of the damage. "Let me go find her for you. I'll apologize and get her to come back. I'll bet she didn't hear you defend her."

  "Just go, Will. I'll deal with this on my own." Jim reached for his phone and texted her to call him when she stopped driving. He knew she wouldn't check it before then, but he was concerned about how her driving would be in her current state of mind. Then, not satisfied with just a text, he called and left the same message, once the ringing rolled over into voicemail. At least she hadn't turned it off.

  Paula returned to the condo a couple of hours later, having gotten nothing done at her house. She went into the kitchen to see that Jim had put the groceries away. She wondered where he was. She didn't know what to do or how to act around him. Did he agree with Will? Was she too old for him?

  She turned around at a sound from the living room and saw Kate coming her way. Paula had forgotten she would be there to give Jim a massage today.

  "I finally got Jim relaxed after this afternoon's uproar. He's asleep in bed now. I stuck around so we could talk a bit. Let's sit down at the table and you tell me how you're doing." Kate studied her with that disconcerting dominant gaze Paula knew well.

  Paula took the indicated seat and crossed her arms, resolved not to let herself be intimidated. "You know we're not at the club, right?"

  Kate chuckled. "Sorry, doll. You can take the Domme out of the club, but you can't take her out of the woman. It's who I am," Kate said with mirth and then sobered. "Now stop evading the question."

  Paula sighed. "You're right, and I'm not doing very well."

  "From what I can tell, Jim is
healing quite nicely, so that's not the problem. How are things between the two of you?"

  Paula closed her eyes and decided to go for it. "The two of us are not the problem; it's me."

  Kate's eyes widened, but when Paula didn't elaborate on her statement, she urged, "Why is that?"

  "I just don't get why Jim would want to be with me." Paula really didn't understand. "He's perfect, and I'm a complete failure. I can't cook, I suck at cleaning, I leave a mess everywhere I go, and I'm eight years older than he is."

  "You're also a competent and decorated policewoman, a great and loyal friend, and a beautiful submissive, dear," Kate retorted.

  Paula shook her head. "You don't get it. Jim spent so much time helping me organize my house and it's turning into a disaster again. He's so tidy and organized and I'm…I'm just not."

  "So?" Kate shrugged like it was nothing.

  Paula glared at her. "Don't you see the problem?"

  "From where I stand, I see a woman who has serious self-doubt. It must be personal, because I know you're doing fine in a professional capacity. Why do you think that is?"

  Paula opened her mouth to answer, closed it again, and slumped back into her chair. "Are you a psychologist in your spare time? Only shrinks ask questions like 'why do you think that is?'"

  "No, dear, but when you work hard at communicating with submissives, some of whom are new to BDSM, you learn how to listen and how to ask questions. So back to the point. Why do you think you lack confidence in your relationship with Jim?"

  "I-I don't know. It's just every relationship I've ever had was a disaster."

  Kate leaned forward. "How supportive were your parents? How about siblings?"

  Paula huffed a laugh. "I was a constant disappointment to my parents. I don't know if they wanted me in the first place. I don't have any siblings. Don't get me started on my cousins."

  "What about them?" Kate looked intrigued, so Paula started to explain about being her grandmother's favorite and how her cousins hadn't liked it at all. Then, when her grandmother died and left the house and the bulk of her estate to Paula and only token amounts to her other grandchildren, she had become persona non-grata at all family functions.

  "Not that I ever really liked going to the holiday dinners and such anyway. I loved spending time with Granny, but I never expected her to do what she did. And I have this white elephant of a house to boot."

  "It sounds like one member of your family cared for you. Why do you put so much emphasis on the rest of your family relationships?" Kate leaned forward, her elbows on the table.

  "Granny is long gone and the rest of them are still around. I run into my cousin, Tiffany, every once in a while, and she always manages to find a way to tell me how terrible my life is compared to hers."

  "So, basically, you heard your entire life how bad you are at things, how your decisions are all wrong, and finally, your grandmother caused a rift in the family you get blamed for?" Kate concluded.

  Paula shrugged. Yeah, that about sums it up .

  "Don't you think that might have twisted the way you view yourself?"

  "Well, maybe." Paula wasn't giving up on her ideas that easily. "But I'm still a mess."

  "I don't accept your premise, Paula. As I said before, you're an outstanding detective, a wonderful person, and your submission to Jim is a joy to behold."

  Could Kate be right? "I never thought about it that way," she admitted.

  "Girl, you have to get those warped ideas out of your mind. Now give me a hug and go talk to that man of yours. I've got to get going." Paula got another of those Domme looks. "Promise me."

  Paula felt a smile tugging at her lips. "Yes, Mistress." She stood to give Kate her hug.

  Paula went into the bedroom to check on Jim. She wondered if she could forget the things Will had said. If he was saying them to Jim, she could only imagine what the general gossip was like. She knew she had a reputation as being gay because she didn't date any of the other cops, but to know their relationship was being called into question because of the age difference hurt more. Kate's pep talk was wearing off. How could she possibly explain to Jim why she had to call off the engagement she'd created all by herself?

  He opened his eyes as she came close to the bed. "Hi, honey, I'm home." She tried to sound cheery, even though she felt anything but. She moved in Jim's direction to give him his kiss.

  "Have you forgotten how to answer your phone and return messages, Melda?" he asked after she gave him a quick peck on the lips.

  "No, Sir. I-I got busy and it seemed like a better idea to just wait until I came back to talk to you." She put her hand to her mouth to get at a stubborn hangnail. "I overheard what Will said about me."

  "I figured as much." Jim reached for her hand. "Why did you take him seriously? Didn't you hear me tell him in no uncertain terms that I love you and want to be with you?"

  "You did?"

  "I did. I also threw him out of the place."

  "But he's your friend."

  "He hasn't been a very good one lately. You're my fiancée and my submissive and the love of my life. I think those outweigh a friend badmouthing you by quite a bit." He pulled her closer to him on the bed. "Tell me what's going on in that beautiful head." It wasn't a question.

  "How about you call Kate, and she can tell you all about it?" She gave him a half smile.

  He raised his eyebrow. "Am I so hard to talk to that you need an intermediary for communication?"

  "No, b-but it's hard. I don't want to be a burden to you. I'm a lot older than you, and you know that society doesn't look well on the age difference going in this direction. I could drag you down. People probably already think I'm a cougar."

  "Why do you care what other people think? We're the ones in this relationship. No one else's opinion matters."

  Jim's description of her finally registered. "Did you say I'm the love of your life?"

  "You're just now hearing that? Yes, I said that."

  "That's the first time you've ever said that to me." Paula's eyes filled, but she blinked the tears away.

  "I didn't realize I hadn't said it before. I love you, Melda." He stroked her locket with his thumb and looked into her eyes. "Paula. You're the woman for me." He pulled her in for a proper kiss and stopped all thought in her brain for a few moments.

  Chapter 18

  "Kate, I need your help," Jim said as he finished buttoning up his shirt. Kate had made house calls to give him massages for the first month, but now that he had clearance to drive, he'd been going to her studio. At first, she'd concentrated on working out the strain and tension on his leg from the PT exercises. He had a tendency to overdo with the discipline that was partly his nature and partly ingrained by his time in the military. He had regained most of his former strength, although he could now feel coming changes in the weather. His therapy was almost done. His leg was healed and he managed to walk without a limp unless he was really tired. His appointments with Kate were now more about relaxing, and today, she'd been working on his back and shoulders.

  The beautiful redhead turned and leaned back against the sink while drying her hands. She looked puzzled. "Sure, with what?"

  "I want to do a scene with Paula at Club Indigo."

  "Okay." A perfectly groomed eyebrow rose in question. "What kind of help do you need? Is she bi-curious or something?"

  "No, she isn't." He needed to explain himself better. "I…she…she still has doubts."

  "About what?"

  "Submitting to me, to the lifestyle, being in a relationship." Jim let out a frustrated sigh "Don't get me wrong. Paula is submissive, but a colleague was rude to her, and now she's withdrawing. I can feel it."

  Kate nodded. "She had to deal with a lot of disapproval from her family and friends in the past. She's likely to be vulnerable to self-doubt."

  "I agree, but in my opinion, it also means she doesn't completely trust me or submit to me," Jim said.

  Kate made a low sound in her throat.

>   He didn't know if it was in agreement or censure but he continued. "I want to do a scene that will forge our relationship once and for all." He studied Kate's face while he explained what he had in mind.

  When he finished his explanation, Kate looked serious. "Edge play can do that." She gave him a stern look when he opened his mouth to answer. "Or it could push her away."

  Two weeks later, Jim led Paula into Club Indigo on a crowded Saturday evening. She looked stunning in a flaming red corset with a heart-shaped opening between her breasts. Satin straps crisscrossed her chest and shoulders and made him want to follow them with his fingers and dip into the fabric that pushed up her breasts. Jim groaned and adjusted himself to give his growing erection a little more space, happy that his leathers were well worn.

  He was confident about himself and his mastery of the tools he would use tonight. Hours of practice with Kate had not only helped him understand the materials but also helped to get a routine down. He could concentrate on his sub and her reactions and would rely on muscle memory for the rest. He wasn't feeling as sure about his Melda. Although Paula had been nothing but sweet to him since the accident, she was also withdrawn, and he was tired of her tiptoeing around him. His wounds were healed and his leg was cooperating better every day. Paula kept trying to stay in control, and it didn't suit either of them. Overhearing Will had only driven her further away. By walking out of the condo, she'd deprived herself of hearing the dressing down he'd given his partner and had stolen his opportunity to make thing better for her. It would end tonight.

  Jim had arranged for the padded table from upstairs to be moved to the main room. He held out his hand to lead Paula to it. With the briefest of hesitations anyone but he would have missed, she laid her hand in his.