by Lost
‘Thanks for inviting me,’ she smiled, saying hi to Coco. ‘It’s really kind of you.’
‘Have you been taking photos of Paris today?’ Coco asked, seeing the camera hanging from Sophie’s shoulder. ‘Show me?’
Sophie obliged by grabbing her camera and flicking through the photos she had already taken that day.’
‘Wow. You’re good,’ Coco said in awe. ‘I would love to be able to take photos like that.’
Sophie shrugged modestly. ‘I’ve been practising for years. But I do love it. There is something beautiful about capturing… beautiful things.’
Raff glanced over her shoulder and had a look at the photos. ‘Coco’s right. You’ve really caught Paris from interesting angles. It looks like the same amazing city, but from a different perspective.’
Raff lead the way into the Louvre and paid for their tickets. ‘Ok. So apparently Coco has to be here for a school project.’
‘Oh?’ Sophie lifted her eyebrows.
Coco had the grace to look slightly embarrassed. ‘Well, er, yes. Kind of. I need to look at…’
‘The Mona Lisa,’ Raff provided helpfully. It was his turn to look innocent.
Coco’s mouth twisted up mischievously. ‘The Mona Lisa,’ she agreed with a giggle.
Sophie wasn’t sure what they were getting at, but she quite enjoyed watching Raff with Coco. It was a side to him she wasn’t familiar with and their jokey father-daughter dynamic was lovely to see.
‘I think it’s rather overrated,’ Sophie said as they made their way towards the Mona Lisa.
‘Me too,’ Raff commented. ‘But I like this…’ he pointed at a painting he had always admired.
He and Sophie discussed art as they trailed around the Louvre. Coco was alternately on her phone or covertly watching them, but she more or less left them to chat and did her own thing. When they reached the Mona Lisa, there was the usual huge crowd of tourists surrounding it, oohing and aahing in different languages. Raff, Sophie and Coco waited patiently to shuffle into full view of the painting and they stood studying it for a few moments.
‘Still overrated,’ Raff decided unapologetically.
‘It’s so small,’ Coco agreed.
‘I think we’re supposed to be describing it as enigmatic and that kind of thing,’ Sophie said, amused. She hadn’t seen the painting in years, but it always made her feel underwhelmed. The rest of the Louvre was fully worth it, however, and Sophie had always loved the building itself and many of the artefacts inside. She checked the information in the pamphlet Raff had acquired with the tickets.
The Louvre was staggering: the world’s largest art museum and the world’s most visited museum, it averaged 15,000 visitors a day. It was housed in the Louvre Palace on the Right Bank of the Seine in the 1st arrondissement, and it had been used by Louis XIV to display the royal collection of ancient Greek and Roman sculptures. During the French revolution, the Louvre became the perfect place to show off works of art. Over the years, many gifts from other countries, as well as works of art by the French had found a home in the Louvre. It contained more than 380,000 objects and 35,000 art pieces. There were sculptures, paintings, drawings, archaeological finds and much more. Michelangelo’s Dying Slave, Lamassus, the Venus de Milo and the Great Sphinx of Tanis, amongst other things were here.
In 1983, Sophie read, French President François Mitterand proposed that the Louvre was renovated and the ‘Inverted Pyramid’ was added. Attendance had doubled since completion and Sophie personally really liked the modern addition.
‘Shall we get some hot drinks?’ Raff said, feeling rather bored of the Mona Lisa.
Coco nodded. ‘Why don’t we meet you at the cafe?’
Raff was surprised. Did Coco want to talk to Sophie alone? He wasn’t sure he was comfortable with that. What if Coco started stirring things up and hinting that they should get together? He shot her a warning glance and she frowned and shook her head slightly as if to communicate that that wasn’t her plan at all.
Raff relaxed and disappeared to get some drinks. Maybe it would be nice for Sophie and Coco to get to know one another.
Coco turned to Sophie. ‘So. You’ve come back to find your mum?’
‘Yes.’ Sophie walked alongside Coco, dodging tourists clicking away with their cameras and chattering about the Louvre. ‘I’m still so worried about her. I have no idea where she is… I just get the odd text from her saying she’s alright. But I just want to know where she is and what’s going on.’
‘It would drive me insane,’ Coco agreed. She hoisted her bag up on her shoulder. ‘Well. I would if it was Dad at any rate. Not my Mum. I mean… she’s never here anyway.’
Sophie bit her lip. Coco had inadvertently opened up the kind of conversation that could easily lead to Sophie asking questions about Estelle, if she was that way inclined. But Sophie didn’t want to be nosy or pressure Coco by asking her about such personal issues. She needn’t have worried; Coco was on a roll and didn’t need to be asked questions. For some reason, she seemed to want to open up about it.
‘I don’t know what you know about my Mum, but she dropped me off with my Dad when I was really young.’ Coco put her hand to her mouth. ‘Oh. You know that bit. You were with Dad at the time.’
Sophie felt her cheeks turning pink. God. How awkward. She didn’t want Coco to think it was her fault that she’d left Raff and Paris.
‘It’s ok,’ Coco said reassuringly. ‘I know you must have had good reasons for leaving.’ She pulled a rueful face. ‘Totally different situation, but I used to think that about my Mum. That she had good reasons for leaving.’
‘Didn’t she?’ Sophie asked, intrigued.
‘No, I don’t think so,’ Coco admitted, dropping her head.
Sophie came to a standstill and so did Coco. Sophie studied her. Coco looked so young at this moment in time. So vulnerable. Her mouth was full but looked sad and her eyes were downcast. Sophie wanted to ask what Coco meant, but she could see that it was a very sensitive issue.
‘She used to say that she was a free spirit,’ Coco volunteered suddenly. ‘That she wasn’t the type to settle down. That she needed her freedom.’
Sophie was shocked. She didn’t have children herself, but she knew she wouldn’t think that way if she ever had them. Losing one’s freedom was part of the deal – right?
‘I think she had me before she was ready,’ Coco confessed. ‘I think she had me and realised how hard it was, and when it got too much, she just dropped me off at my Dad’s and didn’t want to know.’
Sophie swallowed. Had Raff really not known of Coco’s existence until that point? Eloise had hinted at this and Sophie hadn’t been sure if she could believe her or not. After all, Sophie had made a fairly radical decision to leave both Paris and Raff, based on the fact that Raff had known about Coco and hidden it from her. Had she made the most terrible mistake?
‘My Dad didn’t know about me,’ Coco said, as if reading Sophie’s mind. ‘He really didn’t. My Mum had left him way before I arrived, and then she had me and stayed where she was for a while. I think she only got in touch with him because she couldn’t cope anymore.’
‘God. Are you serious?’
Sophie felt sick. How could she possibly have doubted Raff? He wasn’t the type to lie and yet, she had been ready to believe that he had hidden a huge thing like having a daughter from his girlfriend. But… had Coco forgotten that she had told Sophie something very different at the time? Sophie felt totally confused. What the hell was going on? She wanted to ask Coco but she felt bad about it… Coco had been only ten at the time.
‘Did you think he knew?’ Coco asked, her eyes scanning Sophie’s face. ‘Is… is that why you left?’
Sophie nodded. ‘Yes. I’m afraid so. I thought your Dad must have known. I thought there was no way your Mum would have kept this from him and just… turned up with you in tow. I genuinely couldn’t believe someone would act that way, so I guess I doubted him.’ She let out a jerky
breath and felt close to tears. God, she felt absolutely wretched. Coco seemed totally innocent; as though she hadn’t played a huge part in Sophie leaving, even if she hadn’t meant to.
Coco put her head on one side. ‘I can understand you thinking that though. I mean, who does that? As a mum… as a woman? I get how you think Dad must have known. But he really didn’t. I think it was a huge shock when Mum dropped me off.’
‘And when you left’ were her unspoken words, Sophie thought. So Raff had to deal with discovering that he had a daughter he didn’t even know about, and then on top of that, Sophie had left. To think Raff had coped with all of that on his own. Sophie had never felt more terrible in her life. She wanted to rush to Raff and apologise to him. But what on earth could she say? It was so hard to articulate what she had gone through at the time and it was so long ago now. But surely Raff deserved an apology at very least?
Sophie stopped herself being sick with huge difficulty. This changed everything. Everything. Why had Coco said what she’d said at the time? Why hadn’t Sophie believed Raff?
‘My Dad is calling,’ Coco said, holding up her phone. ‘He must be wondering where we are.’
‘Of course,’ Sophie nodded. ‘Let’s get a move on.’ She was all over the show after Coco’s frank portrayal of the past and she had no idea what to do about it.
‘We’re on our way, Dad,’ Coco said into her phone before dropping it into her pocket.
They moved through the crowds in a comfortable silence. Sophie was deep in thought; she needed to process all of this before she came face to face with Raff again in a second. She felt emotionally and mentally jolted. Even though Eloise had raised this the other week, Sophie now had conclusive proof that she had got Raff wrong and that she had made a gigantic error by walking away from him. She had judged him unfairly without giving him a chance to defend himself.
‘You ok?’ Raff asked, handing a coffee over with a quizzical grin. ‘You’ve been ages.’
‘It was so crowded,’ Coco explained quickly. ‘Loads of tourists.’
‘Yes,’ Sophie said, throwing Coco a grateful glance. She hadn’t worked out what to say yet so she needed the buffer of time to get her thoughts clear.
‘Shall we get out of here?’
Raff threw Sophie a curious stare. She looked startled, as if she had seen or heard something surprising. He had no idea what it was, but he knew it must have come from Coco in some way. Raff inwardly shrugged. He had nothing to hide. He had always been honest with Sophie and anyone that meant something to him, so whatever Coco might have told her, Raff knew he could sleep easy. He wondered if it had something to do with Coco and Estelle. He would quiz Coco about it later.
‘I’m totally over this place,’ Coco said, sipping her hot chocolate.
‘Me too,’ Sophie added.
As they walked out, Sophie tried to gather her thoughts. Should she just say sorry? Should she go into the detail or where she was at the time… that she had always felt threatened by Estelle because Raff had told her about his relationship with her, and Sophie had sensed and understood how significant it had been.
They emerged into the sunlight and all felt relieved to be outside again. It had been so busy inside the Louvre. Sophie had her own reasons for feeling as though she needed to get out of there, but still. She took a gulp of fresh air and decided she needed to be brave. Coco walked on ahead; wise beyond her years, she sensed that Sophie and Raff needed some privacy.
‘Raff. I’m so very…’ Sophie started. She felt so horribly guilty and upset. What on earth could she say? She had ruined their relationship – their lives – by not believing him. By believing a woman who clearly told lies perpetually. But Coco… it was what Coco had said—
Sophie stopped short as her phone rang, and glancing at it, her mouth dropped open.
‘What’s wrong?’ Raff asked worriedly. ‘Are you ok?’
‘It’s Mum. Oh my God.’
‘What? Mariele? Answer it!’ Raff cried.
Sophie answered her phone. ‘Mum! Are you ok? Where are you? What’s happening?’
‘Hello chérie,’ Mariele said calmly.
Chapter Thirteen
Sophie almost came undone at the familiarity of her voice. They hadn’t spoken in weeks, but it was like coming home.
‘Where… where… what…?’ Sophie stumbled over her words, not sure which question was more important. Somewhere in the background, she was aware that Raff had taken her hand and was gripping it tightly.
‘I’m fine, Sophie,’ Mariele said. ‘Please try not to worry. I’m sorry I haven’t been in touch.’
‘But… where are you?’ Sophie asked.
‘That’s not important right now. All I want you to know is that I’m alright and I will come home as soon as I can.’
Sophie gaped. It wasn’t important, where she was? How could she say that?!
‘What’s happening with the business?’ Mariele asked.
Sophie frowned. She wasn’t sure her mum’s voice sounded right. ‘Raff’s here. I’ll put you on speaker.’
‘Hey Mariele.’ Raff squeezed Sophie’s hand.
Sophie gave him a watery smile. She was bewildered; her mum was on the phone and Raff was holding her hand and he hadn’t done that in years.
‘Don’t worry about the business,’ Raff said reassuringly. ‘It’s all under control. Is there anything you need me to do?’
‘Raff, mon chéri. I’m so glad you’re there with Sophie. The business… do whatever you think will boost business,’ Mariele replied.
‘Really?’ Raff laughed. He pulled a quizzical face. ‘You know that means I’ll probably change the flavours around and all kinds of things.’
‘Ok,’ Mariele said. ‘Maybe the whole thing needs a revamp. The colour scheme, the flavour combinations, the boxes, the look of the shop… everything.’
Raff looked and felt nonplussed. ‘Right…’ Mariele was usually so cautious when it came to the business. To be honest, he had been surprised when Mariele had called him up wanting to work with him. Even more so when she had disappeared and left him in charge. For her to be suggesting that he could change the flavours and look at colour schemes or anything else was out of character to say the least. Mariele ran a tight ship and liked everything done her way. And she was very much of the ‘si ce n’est pas cassé, ne le répare pas’ mindset. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.
‘I have to go,’ Mariele was saying.
‘No, Mum… please,’ Sophie started feel desperate. She didn’t want her mum to go. She wanting to keep talking to her and she didn’t want to lose the connection.
‘I’m ok,’ Mariele said again. ‘I just want you to enjoy Paris, chérie. Don’t worry about finding me… I’ll be home soon. Go to Montmartre, go up the Eiffel Tower. Enjoy Paris.’
‘But…’
‘Je t’aime, bébé,’ Mariele said before ending the call.
‘Oh God.’ Sophie felt like crying. So she did. She felt half elated, half devastated.
‘Come here,’ Raff pulled her into a hug. ‘That must have made you feel better.’
‘I don’t know how I feel,’ Sophie said helplessly. ‘Where is she? What’s wrong with her? When is she even coming back?’
‘I know, I know,’ Raff said soothingly. He looked up to see Coco standing nearby. ‘Mariele just called.’
‘Ah ok.’ Coco looked relieved. ‘I thought you two had had a fight or something.’
‘No, of course not,’ Raff said. He tightened his grip on Sophie and she gave him a watery smile.
‘Listen,’ Raff said, thinking distraction might be the way forward. And part of him couldn’t help wondering if that was exactly what Mariele had just attempted over the phone. ‘Your mum sounded fine, but she seemed concerned about the business.’
‘Yes,’ Sophie frowned. ‘Which is a bit odd, isn’t it? I mean, I’m sure she trusts you to run everything in her absence, but I always thought she liked the macaron shop to be run on h
er terms.’
Raff nodded. It was true. Mariele liked the shop the way she liked it and she rarely wanted him to make any changes, let alone radical ones, like changing colour schemes and introducing new flavours. He wasn’t sure what was going on and why Mariele had changed tack, but at least she had got in touch properly. And Raff had a sense that she wanted him to distract Sophie from worrying about her too much.
‘Let’s get back,’ Raff said, making a decision. He gave Sophie’s shoulders another squeeze. ‘We have things to do.’
‘What things?’ Sophie said, wiping her eyes.
‘We have a macaron business to revamp.’
‘How exciting!’ Coco cried, clapping her hands. ‘What can I do?’
‘Your homework,’ Raff told her with a grin.
Coco’s face fell. ‘Papa. You’re so dull.’
Raff shrugged off the jibe as they started walking. He glanced at Sophie. She seemed deep in thought and he left her to it. But his mind was already whirring with what they could do with the business and how he could get Sophie involved, and if it would, as he suspected Mariele hoped, distract Sophie from worrying about her.
Raff sincerely hoped it would do the trick, and he was willing to do whatever he could to make that happen, but inside he couldn’t help feeling anxious and unsettled. What on earth was going on with Mariele that she would stay away for this long and go out of her way to suggest drastic changes to the business?
Chapter Fourteen
‘So.’ Raff pulled his notepad towards him. ‘Where shall we start?’
Sophie considered him. They were sitting in the macaron shop as it seemed the most obvious place to brainstorm. Sun was streaming through the windows, throwing dappled light onto the floor and the tables, and Sophie felt strangely calm for the first time since arriving in Paris. She and Raff had been sitting drinking coffee together and lazily nibbling on fresh croissants which had smelt and tasted delicious but now they needed to crack on. It was Sunday and they were due at Eloise’s for lunch later; right now, they were preparing to do as they’d been asked.
