Lost and Found in Paris

by Lost

  Jo tutted. ‘Oh how annoying. I have a work call coming through, believe it or not. I’m on call, but no one EVER calls. Shit. I have to go, Soph, but keep me posted, ok?’

  ‘Will do.’ Saying a hurried goodbye, Sophie tucked her phone away thoughtfully. Maybe Jo was right about Raff. Maybe she was taking it all far too much to heart. And when it came down to it, it was her, Sophie, who had got the wrong idea about Estelle and hadn’t given Raff a chance to defend himself. Sophie had run away because that had been easier than facing up to the possible pain to find out that Raff had lied to her and hidden Coco from her, and that having a child with Estelle had created an unbreakable bond between Estelle and Raff that might threaten the amazing love affair that Raff and Sophie had.

  Standing outside Ladurée as tourists and Parisians dashed past her, Sophie felt deeply upset and ashamed. And she was also fuming at herself. Furious that she had cut off her nose to spite her face. Leaving Paris and Raff was one thing; not listening to Raff and Eloise and her mum afterwards was entirely another. Also, Sophie knew Raff. She knew he wasn’t a bad person or a man to shirk his responsibilities as a father. He just wasn’t that sort of guy.

  Sophie felt tears rushing into her eyes. She knew how desperate she had felt back then and how at the time she’d felt as though she had no choice but to flee Paris because she wasn’t equipped to deal with what was going on around her. Sophie had shut down and she hadn’t allowed the relationship to continue. She had been so silly back then and she could see that now. She didn’t know why Raff wasn’t more furious with her, but maybe he just felt disappointed? Let down? Sophie felt herself slumping inside. She felt awful… desolate. So incredibly guilty. What had her relationship with Ryan even been about? She had known that what they had wasn’t anything like her relationship with Raff, but at the same time, Ryan had made her feel so safe, just at a time when she had needed to feel that way.

  What about all the time they had lost? Five years! Sophie let the tears flow. How could she live with herself after this realisation? How was she supposed to come to terms with it? She was surprised Raff was still even talking to her, let alone being as amazing as he was being?

  Was there a way back, Sophie wondered? Could she possibly make up for lost time and make things right with Raff? She didn’t even know how he felt about her. She wasn’t sure she knew exactly what she felt about him… except for the fact that it was incredibly similar to everything she had felt for him before. It was as though time hadn’t passed, as though their feelings had been frozen.

  Sophie wiped her eyes and faltered. Well. She could only speak for herself. She didn’t know what Raff was truly feeling. She could only know what she felt and what she felt was… that she and Raff had something. Sophie was sure they had something. She pulled herself together with an immense effort. She had to think about something else. Macarons. The perfect distraction.

  Inside Ladurée, Sophie was assailed by the delicious aroma of the macarons, the familiar almondy sweet scent that always reminded Sophie of her childhood. The cafe was busy and full of tourists, but it had a real sense of style and classic ‘French-ness’ about it. Weirdly, Sophie knew that macarons were supposed to have originated in Italy, as they created something called a ‘maccarone’ back in the 15th century and brought it over to France. It was the French who had the idea to fill the soft, doughy biscuits – or ‘crusts’, as they were known then – with a creamy ganache.

  Ordering herself a serving of the glorious hot chocolate Ladurée had become famous for, Sophie asked for a selection of macarons to go with it, just for research purposes. She asked for a mix of modern and traditional flavours and after a few minutes, found herself a seat at the corner of an already busy table. The hot chocolate arrived in a silver jug, rather like a tea pot. It was made from milk, not cream, but contained so much chocolate, it was rich and sweet and very filling. Moving onto the macarons, Sophie quickly sampled a tiny bite of each one. The classic ones each had distinct, clear flavours: coffee, chocolate, pistachio, rose, vanilla. The more unusual flavours were actually rather delicate: cotton candy, orange blossom, bubble gum and the superbly named ‘Marie-Antoinette’, which was a subtle blend of black teas from India and China in a gorgeous duck-egg blue colour.

  Taking out her phone, Sophie started to jut down her thoughts on it. She jumped when it rang. It was Coco.

  Sophie answered it, not sure why Coco would be calling her at this time of the evening. ‘Coco. Is everything ok?’

  ‘Not really.’ Coco sounded worried. ‘It’s my granddad. Henri. He’s sick… he’s not making any sense and I don’t know if I should call a doctor.’

  ‘Where’s your dad?’ Sophie started to get her things together. She was no expert, but Pinter oddly made a point of making them go on First Aid courses periodically, so she could hold her own at a basic level.

  ‘I can’t get hold of dad,’ Coco explained, sounding tearful. ‘Sorry, Sophie. I just didn’t know what to do.’

  ‘Please don’t apologise. Is Henri breathing? He is? Good.’ Sophie briskly asked for her bill and paid. She hurried out of Ladurée and headed for the nearest Métro. ‘Coco, I’ll call when I’m at the other end, but try not to worry, ok?’

  Not stopping to think even for a second, Sophie jumped on the next Métro. She had no idea where Raff was or why he couldn’t be reached, but that didn’t matter right now. Once on the other side, Sophie tried Raff twice but to no avail and then she called Coco and talked to her, checking on Henri’s symptoms until she reached Raff’s house. Sophie was fairly sure she knew what might be going on with Henri, but it could well be more serious than that and she wasn’t ruling out having to call an ambulance for him.

  ‘Right, Coco – I’m at the front door now, so you’ll have to leave Henri for a moment to let me in.’ Sophie waited.

  When she opened the door, Coco fell into her arms. ‘I’m so worried about grandpapa,’ she wailed.

  ‘I know, I know.’ Sophie gave Coco a quick squeeze and then grabbed her by the shoulders. ‘Ok, so I’m going to go and see Henri. Please could you get me some cold water and a wet flannel. Or a damp tea towel or something. And some ice. Ice would be great.’

  Coco stood agog for a moment as if Sophie had spoken in Japanese, and then she suddenly got herself together and dashed off to the kitchen. Sophie dumped her bag and headed upstairs. She found Henri in a chair by the window, pale, mumbling under his breath and breathing rapidly. Sophie was sure she was right. Henri was dehydrated. She mentally went through a checklist in her head. It was hard to tell if the dehydration was mild or more severe without Henri talking to her, which he wasn’t yet. But his skin felt dry and cool, his pulse was rapid and his breathing was definitely fast.

  There was a glass on the floor that had been knocked over and there was water seeping into the carpet. Obviously Henri had accidentally knocked his glass over, but it also seemed as though he hadn’t drunk enough water for the past few days.

  ‘Henri, it’s Sophie,’ she said loudly and clearly. ‘I need to ask you some questions.’

  ‘Eh?’ Henri sounded drowsy and confused.

  Sophie went through a couple of slightly embarrassing questions about peeing and the colour of it, before moving on to ask about dizziness and thirst.

  ‘So thirsty,’ Henri said, his head lolling to one side.

  ‘Water is coming,’ Sophie assured him.

  Henri opened his eyes and looked at her properly. ‘Oh, it’s you.’

  Sophie smiled.

  ‘So much kinder and lovelier than that other one,’ Henri mumbled.

  Sophie was startled. Who was Henri talking about?

  ‘Coco’s mother,’ Henri said, as if reading her mind.

  ‘Oh.’ Sophie wasn’t sure what to say.

  ‘Prettier too,’ Henri said with a slight smile.

  Sophie felt herself blushing but it was mostly surprise. Estelle was absolutely stunning, so Henri must be slightly delirious. Coco came in holding a tr
ay with a glass of water on it, a sopping wet tea towel and a bowl of ice cubes.

  ‘Is this ok?’ she asked breathlessly.

  ‘Yes, great,’ Sophie said briskly, pointing to a nearby table. ‘Ok, Henri, I have some water here for you. You’re going to take small sips.’ She gently helped him sip the water and supported his head. He sank back but his eyes immediately looked brighter. ‘Coco, let’s get the ice chips. Henri – put one of these in your mouth and suck on it for a bit.’

  Henri did so and winced at how cold it was. He popped it into his hand for a second and then put it back in his mouth. Sophie checked his pulse again and it seemed much calmer. She wondered whether Henri had just become agitated because he was so thirsty and perhaps couldn’t communicate what he needed to Coco.

  ‘Feeling better,’ Henri managed.

  ‘Good,’ Sophie said. She made sure his water was next to his hand on a table and put the ice chips nearby. Seeing that Coco was on edge, Sophie took her outside the room for a second.

  Coco promptly burst into tears. ‘I was so worried,’ she sobbed.

  Sophie hugged her. God, where the hell was Raff? She heard the front door closing downstairs and let out a jerky breath.

  ‘Coco?’ Raff called urgently.

  ‘Hey,’ Sophie called back. ‘We’re up here with Henri.’

  ‘Dad, I’ve been trying to call you for hours…’ Coco was clearly overcome with emotion again.

  Raff came tearing up the stairs. ‘Mon Dieu. What’s wrong? My phone was dead and I couldn’t get away because Louis and Anne-Marie are having a baby and…’

  ‘Are they?’ Sophie broke into a grin. ‘How lovely. Listen, your dad is fine. He’s dehydrated, I think. He hasn’t been hydrating himself properly; I would say it’s gone on for a week or so. We should probably check with a doctor tonight or tomorrow.’

  ‘God. Coco – I’m so sorry.’ Raff rushed into Henri’s bedroom and Sophie watched him cradle Henri’s head. ‘Dad. I’m so sorry. So, so sorry. Are you ok?’

  ‘I’m fine,’ Henri assured him. ‘Sophie looked after me.’

  Raff shot her a grateful glance. He made sure Henri was settled and gently told him he’d be back shortly with more water and ice chips.

  ‘Sophie – I can’t thank you enough. Thank goodness Coco got in touch with you.’ He put his arm round Coco’s shoulder. ‘I apologise, ma petite chérie. You must have been so worried.’

  ‘I was.’ Coco smiled through her tears. ‘But Sophie was amazing.’

  ‘It was nothing, honestly,’ Sophie shrugged, feeling uncomfortable. She really hadn’t done much. ‘I just happened to be nearby… well, ish… and I came over and spotted the signs of dehydration. I would still call a doctor if I were you, just in case.’ She felt awkward, remembering their last conversation. ‘I should go anyway.’

  ‘I will do,’ Raff nodded. ‘Coco, will you watch grandpapa for me? I’ll see Sophie out.’ He followed Sophie downstairs.

  ‘Again, thank you,’ he said. ‘My phone never goes dead, but I’ve been so busy today.’

  ‘No problem.’

  Sophie went to leave but felt Raff’s hand on her arm. He turned her round and pulled her into a hug. ‘My father means the world to me, the way Mariele does to you. I’m so glad you were here for him. And for Coco.’

  ‘De rien,’ Sophie said into his shoulder. ‘It was nothing, really.’

  Raff pulled back. ‘That thing I said the other day…’

  ‘Oh no, don’t worry…’

  ‘I didn’t mean it…’

  Sophie stared at him. ‘Oh.’

  Raff stared back. ‘I didn’t mean it. It’s just something I told myself back then to justify… to justify losing the person I thought was my soulmate. And the love of my life. I couldn’t make any sense of it but I had to, and that’s what I told myself.’ He paused. ‘I can’t believe I said that to you the other day. It’s not how I feel now. And I’m feeling… a lot of things now. About you.’

  Sophie caught her breath. ‘I-I’m feeling lots of things about you too. And about myself. Mostly hatred for myself right now. Guilt towards you, fury at myself.’

  Raff pulled her closer. His heart was hammering in his chest, but it felt right. Sophie had always had the ability to make him melt and nothing had changed over the years. She was still as beautiful to him now as she had been all those years ago.

  Sophie was all over the show from being this close to Raff. He had always had this effect on her. She was as weak as anything when he wrapped his arms around her. If he kissed her now…

  Raff kissed her. It was a sweet, sensual, probing kiss that slowly but passionately turned into something else and before they knew it, Raff’s hands were in her hair and around her face and Sophie’s hands were on his waist, pulling him closer and their bodies were pressed hotly up against each other. Sophie was kissing him back and Raff was kissing her harder, and it was as if the years had fallen away and nothing else mattered.

  ‘Mon Dieu,’ Raff said, stopping and putting his nose to hers. Wow. The way he felt about her… all those feelings that had been simmering just below the surface had rushed up and exploded.

  ‘Yes.’ Sophie closed her eyes. She felt exactly the same now as she did back in the days whenever Raff kissed her. Nothing had changed. How could she still feel like this about him? No one had ever made her feel like this – before, or since.

  ‘Ahem.’

  A cough halted them in their tracks. It was Coco on the stairs, with a cheeky look on her face. Sophie pulled away from Raff, blushing.

  ‘Oh. Sorry, Coco.’ God. What must Coco think of her?

  ‘Don’t mind me.’ Coco smiled and leant on the banisters.

  Raff met Coco’s eyes and raised an eyebrow, silently warning her not to put her foot in it.

  ‘I haven’t said a word,’ Coco said, making a big show of shrugging. ‘I just want you to be happy, Dad.’ She left them to it and headed back upstairs.

  Raff turned back to Sophie. ‘I’d better check on…’

  ‘Henri,’ Sophie finished. ‘Of course.’ She turned. ‘I’ll see you…’

  ‘Tomorrow, at the shop,’ Raff said. He smiled. ‘We have a lot to do.’

  ‘Yes. I hope Henri is alright. And… Coco.’

  Not sure why she seemed totally incapable of speaking, Sophie left. As soon as Raff closed the door, Sophie leant against it. Here she was again.

  On the other side of the door, Raff abruptly did the same. History was repeating itself. He just had no idea how it might end this time.

  Chapter Sixteen

  ‘Three more coffees please,’ Raff called from the other side of the shop.

  ‘Ok,’ Sophie called back. ‘Coming up. The others are sitting on the side there and the red one is the hot chocolate.’

  They were like a well-oiled machine today. Customers were strolling in and either strolling out again clutching coffees and bags of macarons or taking a seat in the cafe. It was a busy day and there had been a non-stop stream of customers, so conversation between them had been limited, but the vibe was relaxed. Raff had spent the first hour stressing about Henri until he’d received a call to say that the nurse he’d temporarily hired to keep an eye on him had arrived. Raff had then visibly relaxed and finally had felt able to get on with his day.

  It was a gloriously sunny day outside and Sophie was struck by the upturn in the weather. The sun felt stronger on her skin these days and the wind had completely dropped. It was as though summer had already arrived and Paris was beginning to look astonishingly beautiful, with a sun-kissed rosy glow lighting up the famous monuments and throwing golden light across the pavements.

  Sophie was also struck by the fact that she had already been in Paris for a month now. How could the time have passed so quickly? It occurred to Sophie that she was missing work too. She had taken many, many photographs of Paris – not that she’d had a chance to look at them properly yet – but it wasn’t the same as working on an actual photogra
phy job. Sophie made a mental note to call Pinter later about the wedding; she would love to photograph that. She realised she missed her eccentric boss.

  Sophie felt her phone buzz in her pocket and she glanced at it quickly. It was another sweet message from her mum. The texts were coming through in a steady trickle now and they were full of reassuring words and kind thoughts. Sophie was still baffled by her mum’s absence, but she must be alright if she was able to send as many texts as she was – especially ones that were so heartfelt and personal. Still, there was a part of Sophie that didn’t feel that reassured by the texts. Moved, yes, but not reassured. She was still not sleeping properly because she was so consumed with anxiety and her mum’s unexplained absence. She felt fobbed off, albeit it in a very kind, sentimental fashion.

  ‘Was that Mariele?’ Raff said as he sailed past her carrying another batch of chocolate macarons. They were fresh from the oven and they smelt exquisitely sweet.

  Sophie nodded. ‘Yes. She sent a lovely message about the first time she took Eloise and me to the Eiffel Tower. I remember it… every detail – Mum telling us all about the history of it. I love the Eiffel Tower because she made it magical.’

  Raff watched Sophie. Every time she talked about her mum, her face changed and she looked wistful and soft. At other times, she seemed more guarded than Raff remembered, and he wondered if their break-up had caused that particular change. It had certainly changed him.

  ‘She is sending lots of messages reminiscing about the past,’ he commented, realising he had been staring at Sophie for far too long.

  ‘Yes,’ Sophie agreed, biting her lip. ‘I’m not sure what that’s about.’

  ‘Maybe nothing,’ Raff shrugged. However, deep down, he felt that Mariele’s messages were slightly strange. They were frequent, which was great, but they often talked about the past, rarely focusing on the present or the future. And that bothered Raff because Mariele was generally a positive person. She might be bohemian, but Raff wasn’t sure she’d ever been prone to reminisce over the past quite so much. He knew her fairly well, and once again, he felt as though Mariele might be trying to distract Sophie from whatever was really going on with her. But maybe Raff should leave that well alone; if Mariele was trying to distract Sophie, there had to be good reason for it.