Daughter of the Tide

by Leah Fleming

  ‘Now I’m really yours.’ She was weeping with relief. ‘I’m normal… Thank you, I’ll love you for always and for ever for this. No more broken promises… Ewan, my dear, dear love.’ They lay in the moonlight content and at one.

  Ewan stared up at the sky, counting the stars. Now they belonged together and no man on this earth would tear them apart. She was no longer another man’s wife but sealed and bound only to his tender care. They were meant to be together in this life. She was the face that had kept him alive all those months ago. Now she was part of him, part of the wind and stars and the magic of this island. ‘You are my light, my sunrise and sunset. None can separate us now, but ourselves.’

  Minn put her fingers on his lips. ‘Don’t say that. I know we must part and I must face Ken and my mother, but he’ll never sleep in my bed again, I promise you. I’ll find a way.’

  ‘We must find a way to be together. You know my leave will end and I must go abroad but there’s no reason why we both can’t go south and leave all this behind.’

  He was talking with his heart not his head. It would not be simple to run away and shame all who were left behind.

  ‘Your parents will be heartbroken, there will be shame for all of them.’ Minn was reading his very thoughts before him.

  ‘We can be discreet. There must be a way to do this so no one gets hurt. If that man goes back to his base on the mainland you can promise to follow him this time but come south with me. No one need suspect until it is all done and too late to alter. We can’t be separated again.’ This had to be the safest bet.

  ‘If you’re sure.’ There was hesitation in her voice. ‘Nothing has ever gone right for us before…’

  ‘Until tonight. This’ll be the first of a hundred nights of loving. We have the rest of our lives to be together and share our future. All our old promises are coming true, at last! It’s all going to be different from now on.’

  When he looked at his wrist watch it was after eleven o’clock. ‘Hell fire! You’re going to be late. Straighten yourself, darling. If we take the old track we might just get to the barracks in time for the end of the picture show.’

  ‘But I’ve hidden my van on the roadside outside Balenottar. There’s no need to panic. This is the most wonderful night of my life and I don’t want it ever to end. When can we do it again?’ Minn sighed.

  ‘Minn, if you run away with me now we can go hammer and tongs at it for the rest of out lives! First, let’s be getting you home without arousing suspicion. Everything must be thought through. Will you come away with me when my leave ends? You know what I’m asking of you?’ He kissed her on the lips to seal their promise and the wind whipped the grasses from the shelter. It was time to head for home.

  There was nothing like the first time with a woman, he sighed. Together the two of them had wiped all the past loathing and fear from her mind by their tender lovemaking. No other lover had ever ignited such a force within him. They were brief drunken couplings, but here on Phetray under the stars there was magic in the air.

  Ten

  Minn returned quietly to Kilphetrish and slept in the chair by the fire. She did not want to disturb Ken as he lay prostrate over the bed in a drunken sleep. She sat in the flickering firelight looking at the lines etched on his puffy face, the wavy line of his moustache, the middle parting of his slicked-down hair. His mouth was gaping. He had been waiting to challenge her late return but a drunken stupor had overtaken him. Minn felt no guilt, no remorse, no shame only a sad emptiness inside. How could she have ever found him attractive?

  Their reconciliation had been ruined by Ewan’s return. The whole episode seemed a disastrous mistake and the sooner she ended his misery the better. When both men were off the island she would sort out how to leave discreetly and for ever. First she must pretend to resume her old life while preparing for a new life with Ewan, scrub away the dirt of this sorry relationship as if it had never happened. How easy to say but how hard it would be to accomplish.

  No one need know the circumstances of their separation. If necessary she would seek work on the mainland away from prying eyes and gossip. She could disappear into a big city where Ken would never find her.

  On their journey back to Kilphetrish Ewan had talked of art college, of training as a teacher, of developing the side of him that had lain dormant so many years, now stirred by his experiences in France. He talked briefly of his escapades and she was enthralled. She sensed he was censoring all the bits that would disturb her.

  Dear kind Ewan, always trying to protect her. Now it was time for her to support him in his chosen career. There must be domestic work somewhere close to the college that would bring in some money. As long as they were together she would scrub stairs and wash sheets. They would take on the world and win.

  Now she was courting sleep but it would not come to her, too many schemes were dancing around her head. She cooried under the scratchy blanket and dozed fitfully, rising at first light to see to her chores, feeding the hens and ducks, pumping water from the well.

  With luck Ken would be making his way back to the ferry. His leave was over and she couldn’t wait to see the back of him. If only she hadn’t begged him to come back and start again. Why was her timing always so out of kilter? It was as if there was a curse on ever doing anything at the proper time, but she pushed this morbid thought to the back of her mind. There was enough to think about just getting Ken out of the house and out of her life. He must leave without a fuss.

  He was grumpy when he woke half dressed with a hangover, half recalling she had not been at home when he returned. ‘Where were you last night?’ he accused.

  ‘I came back by the shore path with a headache. I was feeling tired and I knew you’d be enjoying yourself. There you were half seas over the bed. I didna have the heart to wake you,’ she explained, half believing her own words.

  He was looking at her with one eyebrow raised as if to ask a question. ‘You said you’d come to meet me. Where were you?’

  ‘Ach, it all took longer than I thought and then the van was playing up so I tinkered with it and took it for a test run. I knew I’d miss the main picture and I felt so awful I thought some fresh air would clear my head,’ she said, turning from him to hide her flushed cheeks; lies did not sit easily upon her this morning. ‘Come on or you’ll miss the boat. I’ll walk you down.’

  ‘There’s no need to wave me off today, I know it upsets you. I’ll write to you. You see to your own work. I’m sorry this was not the leave we’d planned,’ he said, not looking at her as he laced his boots.

  She was busy brushing his jacket. It smelled of the mess and smoke.

  ‘Thank your mam when she comes in for another cheery visit,’ he said and she knew it was his turn to lie now. Mother had not spoken a word to him since that terrible night. He nodded in the direction of the door and pecked her on the cheek. ‘Be seeing you, love, and think on. I only did it for the best. Now it’s all sorted we can get down to married life like a couple of lovey doves!’

  How could he pretend that nothing had happened between them? How could he think that all was well between them? She gave him a perfunctory kiss on the cheek and gathered up his clothes into his kit bag. She wanted nothing left of him in the cottage. There were no loving feelings left for him in her heart, only this eagerness to see him away from the island for good. How could she have married this little man?

  Only the heart sees clearly, she thought, and my heart was blinded by grief and fear, snatching at affection and calling it love. Now she was free of him she would never make that mistake again.

  They walked down the machair towards the harbour along the coastal path and she waved him towards the waiting ferry until he was out of sight. She turned back skipping across the grass to the stone house, slamming the door with relief.

  Thank God he was gone! Tonight she could meet Ewan in peace with no fear of intrusion. Nothing would stop their lovemaking now.

  Yet some vague uneasiness haunted
her all day. It started when she found her van disturbed and dirty footprints on her clean floor. Her cash box and accounts had been shifted around. Someone had been in her mobile but nothing was missing, the cash float was correct enough, the cigarettes still tallied and the sweets on the tray untouched. Who was checking up on her work? That feeling of unease lifted but she kept peering up and down the road to see if she was being observed.

  Perhaps the authorities had reason to believe she was not doing her rounds efficiently but the roads were just full of the usual carts and transport trucks. She stopped at the corners of farm tracks and the airbase as usual, laughing away her jitters, chattering to her customers.

  The tracks were bare with few bends and boulders but she sensed a presence lurking just behind them, a shadow that was unnerving her. This was her own guilty conscience stalking her. Her love for Ewan was making her devious and shifty. She would have to learn to live with it from now on.

  It was a relief to see Ewan waiting patiently at dusk. All those silly misgivings were pushed to the back of her mind. There was no one left on Phetray now who would wish them ill. It was stupid to think their loving might not be discovered, but tonight was for them alone.

  Ewan had been helping with the kelp harvest, gathering the seaweed from the shore at low tide, loading it on to carts and barrows to be spread to dry under a shower of black flies. He had always like to lend a hand and make himself useful on leave. Now he was sweaty and ready for a swim.

  ‘You smell like a midden!’ she laughed as she hugged him. Nothing could harm her when Ewan was by her side.

  ‘Come and swim with me then…’ He was racing her down the gully to the secret cove. ‘It’ll be freezing!’ she replied.

  ‘I’ll soon warm you up…’ They flung off their shoes and dipped into the icy water but it was too full and rough for anything more than a quick exit.

  Ewan dunked himself head first and Minn rubbed him down with his towel, chittering with cold and excitement. They chased each other over the grass like wild children playing tag yelling into the moonlight. No one ever came here at night.

  They lay on the soft grass in a hollow counting the shooting stars as they streaked across the night sky, picking out the constellations on this clear autumn night. It was a perfect night for lovemaking, slow and tender, fast and furious; there was so much lost time to make up.

  How could she ever have thought herself frigid and unfeeling when lovemaking was so natural with Ewan? Locked in each other’s arms they rolled down the slope, lost in a world of their own until a voice yelled out and a torch speared them with its bright light.

  ‘Stop that mullarkey! Get off my wife! You fucking slut… You thought you could fool me but I knew you were up to something behind my back. Like a randy bitch on heat!’ The voice was croaking, rasping, struggling to spit out the words as if the emotions were taking the very breath away.

  Minn went rigid at the sound of Ken’s voice. He was standing above them staring down at their nakedness, gasping for breath. So her instinct was right. ‘It’s you who’s been following me? It was you in the shadows… I never thought you’d be a spy… Oh, Ken, why didn’t you go?’ she was screeching into the darkness.

  ‘I had to know. I’m not stupid. You lied to me last night. I went to meet you but the van was missing and you were nowhere to be seen. You weren’t doing no bookkeeping. This was what you was up to… with lover boy. So I set a trap and you fell right in, you bitch!’ He was striding down the grass waving his torch

  Ewan stood, pulling up his trousers, calling into the light, shocked, but his voice was threatening. ‘Calm down, Sergeant Broddick! Your marriage is over. It was over before and after what you put her through… It’s over. You have to understand. I’m sorry. Minn is mine. She always was!’ Minn’s eyes were straining to make out the outline of Ken clutching his chest, gasping out his words. ‘You’ll be bloody sorry when I’ve finished with you both. It’s my wife you’re shagging. She’ll cheat you like she cheated me… All those phony excuses. “I can’t do it, it hurts!” She’s been shagging half the airbase behind my back. Can’t get enough of it! Stringing me along with a pack o’ lies.’ He was wheezing badly now, struggling for breath. Minn wrapped the towel round herself anxious to go to his aid, but he was stepping back from her.

  ‘I’m not standing for it.’ He was gasping out his words. ‘You’re my wife so you’d better come back with me to Wigan, right now. My mam’ll sort you out, good and proper. You’ll do as you’re told. I’m your husband for God’s sake! No one makes a fool out of Ken Broddick!’

  ‘You’re making a fool of yourself right now if you think I’m going anywhere with you,’ she was screaming at him. ‘I hate you! You shamed me. I was never your wife legally. We never were physical enough. It was never a proper marriage… not ever and I never loved you. Go away and leave us be. It’s over between us.’

  ‘Rubbish! If Lazarus here hadn’t come back from the bleeding dead you’d be glad enough to take my wages and call yerself my wife! You just want some sucker to provide for you, you lazy slut! Pull the other one… Whiter than white? My Aunt Fanny. You’re no virgin and that’s for sure! Don’t talk so daft!’ Ken was still gasping for breath but as he stepped in closer to pull at Minn’s arm Ewan stood between them.

  ‘Don’t touch her. I don’t want anyone hurt, Sergeant. This has to be sorted out calmly. Now’s not the time to do it. We can go back and talk this all through.’ Ewan’s voice was hard.

  ‘Don’t you give me orders as when’s the right time to talk. I’ve got you by the short and curlies. Lieutenant, shagging my wife silly! She deserves a slapping, the little whore!’ Ken shouted, lunging forward again, but Ewan grabbed him.

  ‘Don’t you lay a finger on her again, you bully! I’m warning you, This is between you and me,’ Ewan replied.

  Ken was struggling for his breath. ‘She’s trouble, that one, trouble all the way, a bitch who looks like butter wouldn’t… I came back to give her a second chance and I’ve now gone AWOL to save my marriage, but she’s not worth the bother, is she? She’s trouble. You stay out of my business, mate, if you know what’s good for you.’ With one lurch Ken threw himself at Minn, blinding her with his torchlight

  She stepped back but he lurched again so, instinctively, she pushed him from her. Ken slipped sideways, tottering for a second with a look of surprise on his stricken face as his torch launched itself from his hand and he fell backwards into the air down the slope hard on to the rocky outcrop below.

  They could hear him in the darkness as he lay stunned, gasping and wheezing for breath. The choking and wheezing bubbled in the darkness as the lovers scrambled down blindly to find him.

  ‘He’s having a wheezing fit! We’ve got to help him or he’ll stop breathing. Where’s he fallen? I can’t hear him!’ yelled Minn in panic, knowing the sides of the cove were slippery and treacherous.

  They searched with the thin torch beam until they found him on the rocks, his head gashed and bleeding, but the choking rasps were faint and bubbling now.

  ‘Raise his head and feel for a pulse!’ ordered Ewan, and Minn shone the torch in Ken’s face to see his eyes staring unblinking at her. ‘What shall we do?’

  Ewan was thrashing through his survival knowledge. ‘We’ve got to get him air but he’s not breathing now… Oh God! I think he’s choked…’

  ‘We can’t let him die… We’ve got to do something. I’ll run and get help but I’ve no shoes on. Where are my shoes?’ Minn was panicking now. She was floundering in some terrible nightmare of her own making. She heard Ewan’s cold voice and knew it was useless.

  ‘It’s no use. He’s dead, Minn. There’s no pulse. There’s nothing anyone can do for him now.’ Ewan was sitting back on his knees with his head bowed as she crouched beside him.

  ‘But he can’t be dead! Do something! Carry him back to the van. Call the constable. We have to save him!’

  ‘No. We’ll let the sea take him,’ he whispered.
‘It’s the kindest way out for all of us.’

  ‘But we can’t do that… His mother, his sisters, they’re expecting him back, Minn heard her voice squeaking feebly. ‘They will raise the alarm.’

  ‘I don’t think he was planning to leave until tomorrow, do you? Let the sea have him, it can sort out all this mess better than we can ever do, mo ghaoil.’

  ‘But I pushed him and he fell. I killed him. Oh, Ewan, what have we done?’ She felt so weary, exhausted, stunned into inertia. ‘This is Agnes all over again! Are we never to be allowed our happiness? Is it to be blighted by death and the vengeance of the sea? I can’t bear this. I didn’t want this to happen to him,’ she sobbed. ‘It’s all my doing.’

  ‘Look! It was an accident. Nobody’s to blame. He was wheezing and he slipped; he was already too breathless and unfit to clamber over rocks in the dark. It was a tragic accident.’

  ‘But it was all our fault!’ she cried. ‘We killed him!’

  ‘No, we didn’t. You mustn’t say that, do you hear me? He followed you and saw something that he didn’t want to see. It triggered off a breathing attack. He should have left you alone. That was his choice. It was an accident and we can report it later, if you like.’ Ewan was shaking her.

  ‘How can you be so cold? We’ve killed him. He saw us together and it killed him!’ Her voice was shrill and hysterical and he slapped her cheek.

  ‘Shut up! Calm down. That man raped you, or have you forgotten? You wanted rid of him and so did I. He brought this upon himself. No one knows he came here. As far as you knew he left today on the steam ferry back to his depot. That’s all there is to it. If we push him off the rocks he’ll float away. The sea will see to him. Then no one gets hurt. Then you are free from his clutches for good. Don’t you see? This is for the best. What’s the point of dragging others into this mess? This way it’s clean and finished. I’ll go away as I planned. You can stay here and see what happens later. No one will suspect. It was an accident. Come and help me drag him down to the sea.’