Knocked Up by Brother's Best Friend: A Bad Boy Secret Baby Romance

by Amy Brent

  “How does it work, exactly?” I asked. “I mean, men paying women for sex. That’s textbook prostitution. Which is illegal in California.”

  “They don’t pay the women for sex, technically,” she said with a grin as if she knew they were getting away with something and found it funny. “They call it consensual sex, and there is nothing illegal about that.”

  I didn’t know if I was more intrigued by the sex or the commerce of it all. I had to know more. I asked, “How does it work then?”

  “Well, the women are all super-duper drop dead gorgeous, of course. Like freakin’ super models. The men fall all over themselves to get close to the girls, they buy them glasses of thousand-dollar champagne, five-hundred-dollar tequila shots, huge bowls of caviar, mountains of Maine lobster, whatever you can think of they have it there. Then, the men ask the girl if she’d like to go upstairs and if the girl wants to go—and only if she wants to go—they go upstairs and have consensual sex or whatever. It’s like this humongous mansion, like an old hotel really. The girls all have private bedrooms there for the weekends, and some of the higher-net worth members have suites, too. They basically arrive on Friday night and leave on Sunday night. Some of them never leave their rooms.”

  “That’s… unreal,” I said, not sure if I believed her or not, though I knew Serena would never lie to me. “How do the women get paid?”

  “Every member must put up a Platinum American Express Card and everything is charged directly and automatically to that card. Their initial dues, monthly dues, food, drink, room fees, and—“ she made air quotes with her long fingers— “entertainment fees, that may or may not include private entertainment in one of the upstairs bedrooms. It’s all charged to the card. The girls get every nickel the member spends once they’re upstairs. The house gets everything else.”

  “So, the men do not pay the women directly for sex,” I said, making an “aha” face. “The women are paid by the company. Probably as independent contractors.”

  “I suppose,” she said with a shrug. “All I know is the girls who work as Escorts and Specialists are pulling down major bucks. There’s one girl, Carina, who supposedly cleared over two-million-dollars last year.”

  “Holy shit,” I said, shaking my head. That was more than I made last year. “That’s incredible. How did she earn that much?”

  Serena gave me a scolding smile. “She is very good at what she does.”

  “Wow…” I leaned back to sip my coffee for a moment, then asked the question I really wanted the answer to. “Tell me about Isaac Hanson and the others. How involved are they in running the place? Are they there every weekend?”

  “I probably shouldn’t say anything more,” she said, sucking air in her teeth. “I’ve said too much already. I’m pretty sure I just broke the terms of the NDA, which would get me fired and sued into the ground if they found out.”

  “You just earned five-grand in five minutes,” I said, leaning forward and leering at her. “That’s Carina-level money, and you didn’t even have to take your clothes off.”

  “I know, but—“

  “Serena, cut the shit. Dish it up, baby girl, every dirty little detail.”

  “Amy, really, I can’t…”

  “Let’s make that bonus ten-grand, shall we?”

  She glanced down at her manicured nails for a moment, then took a deep breath and told me everything she knew about Club D and its founders.

  Isaac, Denny, and Sammy were typically there most weekends; partying, drinking, schmoozing, sometimes pairing off with one of the escorts or specialists, which I came to understand were escorts with special skills, such as the ability to deep throat the longest of cocks or, like Carina, take on five men at once and make them all cum simultaneously.

  To quote Serena, “Three holes, two hands, perfect timing.”

  I’m still having a hard time figuring out the physics of that one.

  Or like another girl, Annabel, who could contort herself in such a way that she could lick her own pussy while the men watched.

  It was a little like hearing someone describe the freak show at the circus rather than a high-end sex club-slash-whorehouse.

  Each founder had his own private suite on the third floor away from the action downstairs. Denny and Sammy were the more social of the three partners, but Isaac was the one all the girls wanted to fuck according to Serena.

  She kept using words like “huge schlong” and “can go all night” to describe what she’d heard the other girls saying about him. She had never personally drunk from the Isaac Hanson cup because the line to do so was simply too long. Plus, he wasn’t really her type. She had her sights set on Sammy Branniff, the partner who looked like a linebacker for the Rams.

  I was shaking my head by the time she finished. I had stood inches away from Isaac Hanson and never would have pegged him to be some kind of insatiable sex god. Still, I couldn’t deny the warmth I was feeling between my legs just listening to Serena’s stories. Heck, it had been so long since I’d been turned on I might have just pissed my pants.

  “Oh my god, I just had a thought,” she said, gushing, like having a thought was a new thing for her. “Why don’t you come with me this weekend?”

  “What? To Club D?”

  “Yes. I’m staying the entire weekend. They have a huge guest house for the employees who don’t want to drive back and forth to the city. You could stay with me and be my guest. I’d have to get it approved by Mr. Lemon, but once he saw you all dolled-up I have no doubt he’d let you in if you would be willing to schmooze with the guests. You wouldn’t have to do anything, of course, and—”

  I held up my hand. “Mr. Lemon? Seriously? Is that really his name? I think I know him. Is he round and yellow, by any chance?”

  “Yes, that’s his name and he is the manager,” she said. “And no, he’s not round and yellow. He’s like six-five and skinny as a rail.”

  “Right, yes, well, I’m going to have to pass,” I said, rolling my eyes. “Thanks anyway.”

  “Amy, when was the last time you slept with a man?” she asked, one eyebrow up in a perfect arc.

  “Well, that’s none of your business,” I huffed.

  She gave me a scolding look and blew out her cheeks. “Okay, when’s the last time you went out on a date? Or had a man’s tongue in your mouth or his hands down your pants? When’s the last time you had a big, thick, juicy cock in your hand?”

  “Serena, that’s enough.”

  “No,” she said forcefully. “Tell me.”

  Sadly, I couldn’t remember the last time I was with a man.

  Or kissed a man.

  Or had dinner with a man.

  And the closest I came these days to holding a big cock in my hand was when I was buying Italian sausages at the grocery store to make carbonara for my dad on Sunday.

  I frowned into the now-empty coffee cup and mumbled.

  “Well… um…”

  “You can’t remember, can you?”

  I held out my cup. “Can I get another cup of coffee, please?”

  “Oh my god!” she wailed, hands in the air. “It’s settled. I will not take no for an answer. I’m going to clear your schedule tomorrow so you can spend the entire day at the spa and the salon. I’m going to pick you up at seven tomorrow evening and I want to see those tits and that ass and that face on full display! Understand?”

  “I understand,” I said with a smile, though I was lying through my teeth. There was no fucking way I was going to put on a tight dress and go to Club Desire for a weekend of watching rich men with Viagra boners chasing after women who made me look like Mr. Jane from The Beverly Hillbillies.

  No fucking way.

  That was not my style.

  No, sir.

  Not gonna do it.

  “It’s settled then,” Serena said with a happy smile as she got out of the chair with the folder tucked under her arm and her phone in her hands. She was swiping the screen with one long finger. “I’ll cl
ear your schedule and call Mr. Lemon to get it okayed. He’ll want to see a photo. I have that one of you from that fundraiser you spoke at a couple of weeks back. You were wearing a black cocktail dress and your hair was down. You actually looked hot in that picture.”

  “Gee, thanks,” I said, holding up the empty cup. “Now, could I get a little more coffee before this miraculous makeover begins?”

  “Sure,” she said, taking the cup in one hand and continuing to swipe in the other as she headed out the door. She called back over her shoulder. “I’ll make the appointment at the spa for tomorrow morning.”

  “You do that,” I said, turning toward the computer on the desk, shaking my head. I set my fingers on the keys, about to check my email, when Isaac Hanson crept out from the dark corner of my brain where I’d put him a couple of hours before.

  He was smirking at me.

  He was naked now, his body tanned and muscular.

  My eyes trailed slowly downward from his handsome face, across his bare chest and six-pack stomach, through the little field of blond curls.

  His cock was hard and straight.

  And huge.

  I shook the image from my mind and opened Google in a browser and began to type with shaky fingers.

  I typed: Isaac Hanson, Club Desire.

  Chapter 5: Isaac

  “So, she sucked your cock? Right here in the office? Son of a bitch!” Denny waved his arms in the air and grinned at Sammy, who was lounging on the other end of the oversized sofa in my office with his sandaled feet on the coffee table and a large iced coffee resting on his flat stomach. Denny shook his head at me. “Shit, I guess I should have done that interview rather than point her at you.”

  “Maybe you should have,” I said, leaning back in the chair across from them with my fingers laced behind my head and a big smile on my face. “Next time she calls I’ll refer her to you. You’ve always loved sloppy seconds.”

  “Seconds and thirds,” Denny said, snorting.

  “I have an interview scheduled with Ben Greene from the Wall Street Journal on Monday,” Sammy said casually. “I’d be happy to defer that one to you. He has quite a set of man-boobs, as I recall.”

  “I’ll pass on getting a blowjob from a chubby, fifty-year-old man,” Denny said, making a sour face. He slumped back on the cushions and sighed. “Oh well, I’ll just have to make up for it this weekend. He held out his hands and pushed his eyebrows up. “You guys wanna three-way Carina this weekend? A little Founder’s Day celebration among partners?”

  “I’m in,” Sammy said, holding up the iced coffee to suck on the straw. “Hard to believe Club D is three years old.” He smirked at Denny. “Time flies when you’re having fun.”

  “It certainly does,” Denny said, grabbing his crotch and grunting like the pig he was. “Best fucking investment we’ve ever made. Too bad all the proceeds go directly to charity. The place is a motherfucking gold mine.”

  “We make enough money right here,” I said. My phone buzzed in my pocket. I tugged it out and glanced at the screen. It was Stacey what’s her name, asking what I was doing this weekend. What the fuck? I didn’t recall giving her my cell number, which I gave out to almost no one. Then I remembered that I had left my phone on the desk while I was in the john taking a leak before we went to Amy Rossetti’s seminar. Maybe this girl was slicker than I thought. I’d have to keep that in mind if I saw her again.

  “Fucking-A right we do,” Sammy said. His cellphone was on the couch next to him. He picked it up and wiggled the screen to life. “You guys see the stock price this morning? We print money faster than the fucking US Mint. I’m thinking about buying a small South American country. Who’s with me?”

  “I’m in,” Denny said, pointing toward his head. “Do I get a dictator’s cap?” Denny was dressed in his usual business attire: a blue Oxford shirt open at the neck and cuffs, wrinkled khakis, woven belt, expensive loafers with no socks. He was lean and muscled, with buzzed black hair and dark eyes that sparkled when he was up to no good, which was most of the time. He was the marketing piece of the IDS puzzle. Mr. Personality. The life of the party. Everybody loved Denny. And he used it to his full advantage, whether negotiating a marketing deal with Google or negotiating a weekend rate with a Specialist like Carina.

  “You can be co-dictator,” Sammy said seriously, his buzzed head bobbing with the straw between his teeth. “And yes, there will be caps and hats.” They both gave me an expectant look, waiting for me to jump into the joke with them. “Isaac, you in?”

  I gave them both a scolding look, knowing full well how little effect it would have. I had always played the part of the thoughtful one, the level-headed stooge, the one that tried to keep the others on track. I was Mo. They were Larry and Curly. It had been that way ever since we were kindergarteners figuring out ways to look under the teacher’s skirt.

  I had a thick rubber band around my left wrist. I snapped it a few times to keep myself on track. “You guys don’t forget why we started Club D in the first place.”

  “So, we could fuck beautiful women without TMZ finding out?” Sammy offered. He held up his hand and Denny slapped it.

  I smiled, unable to deny the truth. “Well, yeah, that, too, but…”

  Denny’s hand shot into the air and he grunted to get my attention. “I know! I know! So we could have a place to hang out where we could make total idiots of ourselves and not worry about word leaking to the board?”

  “Guys, seriously, focus.” I leaned forward with my elbows on my knees and my hands spread. “We started Club D for all those reasons, yes, but also to raise money for our charitable foundation. And thus far…” I picked up my phone and swiped open the spreadsheet program. I held up the phone and wiggled it at them. “In three years, we have raised twenty-three-point-two-million dollars.”

  “Holy shit, that’s a lot of pussy,” Denny said, whistling. “I wonder how much of that came from me? I still think we should get shit for free, considering that it was our money that funded Club D in the first place.”

  “Pussy sells well,” Sammy said, nodding as he sucked the last of the iced coffee through the straw. I watched the thick muscles of his shoulders go up and down as he breathed. Sammy was a bull, 6’4, two-twenty, built like the star linebacker he was in high school and college. You might never assume it to look at him, but he also had one of the most brilliant business minds in the tech industry. He was also a total horn-dog with a schlong that made mine look tiny. The girls at Club D loved him because he never failed to please and never failed to tip thousands of dollars for their time.

  “Anyway, the point I’m trying to make if you two shitheads will shut the fuck up,” I said, struggling to keep the grin from my face. “Club D is a success from a money making point of view, but I’m starting to think that it’s just a matter of time before the news breaks that we’re the ones behind it. That would bring not only heat from the IDS board of directors, but the cops, the attorney general, the DA, the public.”

  “Ah, fuck ‘em if they can’t take a joke,” Denny said with a dismissive wave.

  “Seriously, Denny,” I said. “Shit always gets out. It’s just a matter of time. We’ve always known that.”

  “The members would never let that happen. We have some powerful motherfuckers on the list. There’s no way they’d let anything that would associate them with Club D get out. No way.”

  Sammy nodded with a deep frown on his face. “Denny’s right. We have half a dozen senators on the membership rolls, not to mention big city mayors, governors, congressmen, millionaires, billionaires, venture capitalists, lobbyists, athletes, actors, fucking priests… and the CEOs of just about every Fortune 100 company west of the Mississippi. Even if the existence of Club D was somehow verified to the public, the cops and attorney general aren’t going to do shit to us because that would mean they’d have to go after their own, and that will never happen.”

  “That may be so, but the public might shit on our stock,” I s
aid, directing my words at Sammy, our Chief Operating Officer, the guy charged with keeping the business on track. “Not everyone would support what we’re doing at Club D. I mean, let’s face it; basically, Club D is an illegal brothel and we’re peddling pussy.”

  “Ah, but it’s primo pussy,” Denny said, snorting a laugh. He held out his hand and Sammy slapped it again.

  “It’s still illegal,” I said.

  “Isaac, dude, lighten up. The lawyers tell me that we have enough legal loopholes to jump through that we could tie it up in court for years,” Denny cut in.

  I glanced at Sammy. “Still, it wouldn’t be good for the company.”

  “So, what are you suggesting?” Sammy asked, dropping the smile.

  “I’m suggesting we divest our interests in Club D,” I said. “Turn over formal ownership to an offshore, blind trust and set it up so that it would take the fucking FBI, SEC, and whoever else decades to crack the nut.”

  “I’m fine with that,” Denny said with a shrug. “Long as we can still be members.”

  I looked at Sammy. “You good with that?”

  Sammy thought about it for a few seconds, then shrugged along with Denny. “Sure. I’ll get the lawyers on it first thing Monday.” He leaned forward and rubbed his palms together. “Now, can we talk about this weekend?”