Until Cece

by KD Robichaux

  Did I really used to think him handsome? Because right now, I hate the sight of his fucking face.

  “I loaned it to her,” comes a voice that sends a chill up my spine it’s so deep and icy. And then Winston is there beside me, his hulking frame towering over Mike as he crosses his thick arms over his bulging chest. He’s intimidating as fuck, and even in this fucked up situation, I can’t help but to almost whimper at the sexy and supremely alpha image he makes. “Didn’t think a lady should be forced to stay in a relationship she clearly didn’t want to be in anymore with no way out of it.”

  Mike visibly swallows then stands up straighter, attempting to puff out his narrow chest hidden behind his button-up shirt and blazer. “Well then how about you also pay for all the bullshit she’s asking for? Because I’m not going to.”

  If looks could kill and Mike was a cat, Winston would’ve just taken all nine of his lives with the murderous glare he sends his way. He moves to take a step toward Mike, and before I can even think to stop him, a huge, middle-aged, fiercely good-looking man steps between them, facing Winston as he puts a hand on his shoulder.

  “Hey, bud!” the man says in his rumbly but friendly voice. “Haven’t seen you in a while. Why don’t we go catch up outside so we don’t disturb anyone’s dinner?” He steps out from between Winston and Mike and turns his eyes toward my ex in warning. He leaves absolutely zero room for argument, and Mike nods and turns on his heel with a roll of his eyes.

  The man gestures for Winston and me to go ahead of him, and I see him then lift his chin at the table where Talon’s family is eating dinner. Another, younger, man stands and follows all of us out.

  “That’s Asher, Talon’s uncle, and his brother Bax,” Winston murmurs, and I feel his hand on my lower back. Between knowing this new information and the feel of his palm seeping his nearness into me, I’m somehow comforted and calmed even in this nerve-wracking situation.

  “Now then, is there a problem?” Asher asks Mike as we all move to the waiting area away from the door, Asher and Bax on one side of me, Winston on the other, and my ex faced off in front of us. I feel like I’m in the land of giants, and these three huge guys have deemed themselves my personal bodyguards.

  I don’t hate it. Not one bit. I’ve never had anyone in my corner against Mike besides my sister. There was never anything I could do, being as I moved down here to Tennessee where he was from, where his family lived, where his friends were. I never had anyone on my side, and now, at least in this moment, I feel like I have a whole army.

  “Yes, there’s a problem. I was served divorce papers today at work,” Mike huffs, holding up the manila folder and looking all sorts of flustered. I’ve never seen him this way before, and I take a mental snapshot to appreciate later.

  Asher looks at me. “You served him with divorce papers?” he asks for clarity, no accusatory inflection in his voice.

  “Yes, we’ve been separated for more than half a year. He has his own place and a new girlfriend I learned about from our daughter. So yes, I served him with divorce papers after he said it was up to me to do it, since he refused to take care of it,” I explain to Asher, even though my eyes turned to Mike and narrowed.

  “I see. Well, what seems to be the issue then? You left it up to her to take care of it”—he gestures toward the folder gripped tightly in Mike’s hand—“and she took care of it.”

  Mike scoffs, shaking his head, clearly frazzled and unused to anyone taking up for me. I’m sure he came here thinking he could intimidate me and make me cower, and now he doesn’t know what to do with himself. “What’s it to you, anyway? Who the hell are you?” he deflects, and I feel Winston step closer to me.

  “I’m her boss. I take care of all my employees. Especially single moms with bullies for ex-husbands,” Winston declares.

  “And she’ll be family soon enough, if my nephew Talon plays his cards right with her sister. This is his brother. And no one fucks with our family,” Asher says, slapping Bax on the back. “Ain’t that right?”

  “Sure is,” Bax replies, a sinister-looking grin on his handsome face that makes Mike look like he’s about to pee himself.

  He tries to brush them all off, but he just comes off like a wimp when he says, “Whatever.” But then he looks at me, and the second bomb of the night is dropped on me. “What you’re asking for is utterly ridiculous. I’m not paying that, and I will be fighting for full custody.” My legs start to shake, and then he gives me his final blow. “It would be wise of you to start finding somewhere else to live.”

  My knees buckle as he turns toward the door of the restaurant, and Winston catches me against his chest as Asher and Bax follow Mike inside.

  “Shhh, naekkeo. Shhh, it’s okay, it’s okay,” Winston murmurs into the top of my head, and I realize I’m trembling all over.

  I shake my head frantically, tilting my head up to look at him, but his face is blurry from the tears filling my eyes. “It’s not okay. He’s going to try to take my girls from me. And he has the money to do it, Winston. I don’t. I don’t have anything to fight him with,” I whimper, and the tears overflow my lower lids and my chin wobbles.

  “You have me,” he implores, gripping me tighter and shaking me a little. “You may not think so, but you have me. All of me. And I’m not going to let anything happen to you or your girls.”

  I shake my head again, even though I want nothing more than to believe him. “I can’t let you do that. How is it going to look to everyone if you ride into battle for me and… pay for all this shit I have no doubt is going to add up to be astronomical if he’s really going to go for full custody? A boss doesn’t just do that for their employee, Win.”

  “I don’t give a fuck what it looks like. No one is taking your babies from you. I don’t care how much it takes,” he growls, and if I weren’t so upset, I’d swoon.

  Why couldn’t he be single?

  The thought snaps me back to reality. “How are you going to pay whatever it takes if your wife finds out about what we did and takes everything from you for cheating?” I step out of his hold, and his arms drop to his sides, his face a mask. “I… I need a minute. Can you go check on my tables please? Or have one of the other girls do it? I just… need a minute.” My hands lift to my temples, and I close my eyes.

  I feel him come closer for a moment, but I don’t move. I hear him breathe me in before sighing his frustration, and he murmurs, “Just trust me, Cece,” and then he’s gone.

  When I open my eyes again, I pull my phone out of my apron and sink down on the bench right here in the outdoor waiting area, and I do something I haven’t done in a very long time.

  I call to cry to my mom.

  17

  Cece

  I spend the drive home preparing myself for the confrontation I’m no doubt about to have with my sister. Before she and Talon left with the girls after dinner to take them to get frozen yogurt, she made it clear she would be waiting for me to get home to find out what the hell happened with Mike.

  It’s a little later than I normally get home though, so hopefully she went to bed. I spent the last thirty minutes going back and forth with Winston yet again about how he can’t treat me any differently than he would his other employees. I told him over and over again, even after he swore he’d do the same thing for any of us girls, that it didn’t look right from the outside for him to not only pay for the initial filing for divorce and the retainer for my lawyer, but to offer to pay to fight for custody of my kids. Which I knew from the internet could cost an astronomical amount if things got ugly.

  When I get inside, I find her on the couch, and I shake her gently. “Mia.” She blinks up at me. “I was just waking you up, because I didn’t think you’d want to spend the night down here,” I say quietly.

  “I was waiting up for you.” She sits up and looks toward the TV. “What time is it?”

  “A little after midnight.”

  “Oh.” Her nose scrunches in confusion. “I thought yo
u got off at eleven.”

  “I did, but I ended up talking to Winston and kind of lost track of time.”

  “It’s good you’re talking to someone.” Her frustration is evident in her tone.

  “What is that supposed to mean?” I frown, wondering if she suspects what happened between Win and me.

  “What happened tonight?” she asks, and my hands wring in front of me as I sit on the couch. “Cece, I love you. You know I love you. But honest to God, if you don’t start talking, sharing, and being honest about shit, I’m going to lose my mind.”

  “I—”

  “Do you realize that when I moved here, I left my whole life behind? I had an apartment, friends, a boyfriend, and a life in Montana. I gave that all up, because you needed me. I think I deserve to know what is going on.”

  The guilt I always harbor rears up, and I wince. “You said Shep was a jerk and that you were glad he showed who he is and that you weren’t with him anymore,” I ramble, not knowing how to pacify her enough to avoid having to tell her the whole truth.

  “He was a jerk, but that’s not the point,” she groans. “The point is that I deserve to know what the hell is going on.”

  And that’s the final straw. I can’t hold on to another ounce of guilt. She does deserve to know what’s happened. I can’t keep trying to hide everything from her. I need her. Whether I want to admit it or not, I need her. I can’t do this on my own. Just like Mike said. “You’re right. I… I got the money together and asked Mike for a divorce,” I confess, not ready to tell her where it came from just yet.

  “I know that,” she says, and my brows furrow.

  How would she know that? No one knows that except for Winston, my lawyer, Mike, and now Asher, Bax, and—

  “Mom told me,” she answers my unspoken question. “She also told me that you’re behind on bills and would probably be losing the house if I weren’t here. So I’ll ask you again, what is going on?”

  My bottom lip starts to wobble at that. I was sort of prepared to tell her about the divorce and stuff, maybe even my feelings for Winston, but I didn’t want to tell her about the money situation. I don’t want her to feel obligated to give me anything else. She’s given me more than enough as it is.

  “The money Mike gives me doesn’t cover everything, not even close.” I rest my elbows on my knees and drop my face into my hands. “I was so set on not wanting to take anything from him and wanting to do this on my own that I maxed out my credit cards, which was stupid. I’ve been so stupid.” I lift my head to look at her. “I realize now that I can’t do this alone and provide for my girls.”

  I clear my throat and give her more information. “Tonight, he came into the bar, because I had him served with divorce papers, and the lawyer put in how much I’m requesting he pay me each month, which is about four times what he’s been giving me.” Tears fill my eyes. “He didn’t have a problem with giving me the divorce; he had a problem with the money and wanted to let me know that he’s going to fight me for custody rather than pay and that he wants us to sell the house.”

  Tears stream down my cheeks as Mia’s expression softens from its previously frustrated state. “Why didn’t you tell me that you were going to file?” She grabs my hand. “Why didn’t you tell me that you were getting behind on bills? I would have helped.”

  I try to keep my voice down as I cry, “I’ve felt like a failure, Mia. The only thing I have to show for the last ten years of my life is three beautiful girls. I don’t have a college degree. I’m working for the first time since I was in high school, and soon, I will be divorced. I know you would’ve helped if I asked, but that’s…. You’ve already done so much.” I wipe my cheeks. “I never thought it would be like this. I thought he was going to come home,” I sob, even though that’s the last thing I wanted to happen.

  “You’re not a failure, Cece, and you might not realize this, but you and Mike at one point or another decided together that your job was to stay home and take care of the kids. He did his job, which was to take care of you guys. And I don’t care what bullshit he spewed, you did your job and are still doing it, and I know it’s the hardest job in the world. He can say all day long that he’s going to take custody from you, but you know that’s not how that works. A judge will decide what happens, and everyone who knows you has witnessed the kind of mom you are. Mike is a good dad, but he works sixty hours a week if not more, and right now, he’s only seeing the girls one day a week by choice. You tell me how he’s going to suddenly change that.”

  Her words do wonders to calm my aching heart, and I look up at her as she squeezes my hand and continues, “The house isn’t important. If you have to move because you can’t afford it, then you and the girls will find somewhere else you can afford. And if you want to stay here, I’m sure Mom and I can come to some kind of agreement to help you cover the mortgage until you can afford it.”

  “I don’t want that,” I whisper. “I don’t want people covering for me anymore.”

  She lets out a sigh. “I know you don’t want that, but it’s like Mom told me tonight—sometimes we can’t handle everything on our own. Sometimes we need help, and there is nothing wrong with asking for help or accepting it when it’s offered.”

  “I don’t care about anything but my babies,” I tell her, knowing the only reason I don’t want to leave this house is because it’s always been their home. But then I remember what Winston said, about how it didn’t have to be a sad thing to move into a new place, like it wasn’t when Mia and I did it with Mom.

  “They are fine. Confused, but fine,” Mia says, and I frown, wondering why they’d be confused. “Kate and Lola talked to their dad tonight, and judging by the questions they asked when I tucked them in, I’m guessing Mike mentioned the divorce and selling the house.”

  “He didn’t,” I hiss, my worry suddenly transforming into instant rage.

  “I don’t know for sure, because while they were on the phone with him, I was putting Ruby to bed.”

  “That piece of…. God, he’s a dick. How did I never realize he was such a dick?” I growl, shaking my head.

  “I’m sure you noticed; you just didn’t overthink it, because he was—or is—your husband.”

  “You’re probably right,” I mutter, knowing that’s exactly what it was. I always brushed it off, knowing there wasn’t anything I could do about it, and just dealt with it.

  “So I’m going to guess that right now isn’t the best time to let you know that Mom and Chaz are going to be here in a few days,” Mia adds.

  “Seriously?” I whine, closing my eyes and falling back against the couch. “I should have thought about that before I had a lapse in judgment and called Mom tonight when I was on break. I just… I needed Mom. I needed her to tell me that everything would be okay.”

  “I get it, and I really think it will be good having her and Chaz here. They can help take the girls’ minds off things for a few days or months.”

  “Months?” My eyes pop open and widen.

  She gives me a shrug. “Mom reminded me that she works for Chaz and he works for himself. I don’t know how long they’re going to be here, but my guess is it will be until they know you and the girls are okay.”

  “Right.” I sit forward then stand. “On that note, I’m going to go kiss my girls then lie in bed and figure out what I’m going to say to them in the morning over pancakes.”

  “I know it’s easier said than done, but you shouldn’t stress too much about the conversation you’re going to have in the morning. The girls know how much you love them, and they trust you and Mike.” She tips her head to the side. “Maybe just be truthful. I know you hate the idea of them knowing what is happening, but sometimes not knowing is worse than the truth. It’s not going to be easy for them either way, but at least they will understand what’s going on and what might happen.”

  Tears fill my eyes once more. God, I’m so sick of crying. “You’re right,” I tell her, stepping up to her and needing
a hug. She stands to wrap her arms around me. “I love you, and I’m so thankful for you.”

  “I love you too. I’ll see you in the morning for pancakes, unless you want to have your talk with the girls alone.” She leans back to look me in the eye.

  “I think it might help them having you there.” I let her go.

  “Then I’ll be there,” she promises before turning off the TV and grabbing her cell and empty can on the side table.

  “Mia,” I call as she drops her can in the recycle bin.

  “Yeah?” She meets my gaze.

  “Thank you… for everything.” I rub my lips together as I fail at holding my tears at bay. “I never want you to feel like I’m taking advantage of you.”

  “What you need to get, Cece, is I’m your sister. If you need me, I’ll be here. I will always be here,” she tells me, and my heart feels like it triples in size as I head to bed. I feel a closeness, a connection with my little sister, an openness that wasn’t quite there before, even though she’s the best friend I’ve ever had in this world.

  I hope I can learn to trust it, to feel comfortable enough someday to spill all my secrets, because it physically hurts to try to keep it all in.

  18

  Cece

  “Any luck?” Mia asks Sunday afternoon, nodding at the listings I have open on my laptop, where I sit at my kitchen island looking at houses for rent.

  “I’ve found a couple places that might have potential. I’m just not sure I can afford a four bedroom right now,” I reply as she squats down to give her dogs some scratches behind their ears when they circle her feet.

  “I’m sure Lola and Kate will be okay sharing a room. Why not look for a three bedroom?” she suggests, and I eye her.

  “What about you?” I ask, my voice sounding nervous even to my own ears.

  She looks up at me. “Even if you guys end up staying in this house, I’m going to eventually want my own place. I love you, but please don’t worry about me while you’re making this decision.”