Fitzpatrick: Cowboy Reluctant: Christian Historical Western (The Kavanagh Brothers Book 7)

by Kathleen Ball

  Had courting even been his idea? Plans for it hadn’t crossed his mind until he’d started thinking too much about being alone. A bachelor had more freedom than a married man. Maybe swearing off women would be good. Maybe not.

  He slowed the buggy, loathe to return home just yet. It was early and the saloon beckoned. Surely, he would find some merry laughs there.

  By the time he got to the edge of town, he could hear the piano music from the saloon in the street. The crowd was lively and loud just the way he liked it. He stopped by the livery first to unharness the horse from the buggy, and he smiled walking through the saloon doors. It was a good thing he was fast on his feet. A man was being thrown out into the road. Fitzpatrick jumped to the side. That had been a near thing.

  Shaking his head, he headed straight to the bar and ordered a whiskey. He liked the atmosphere better than the drink, so he sipped it slowly and looked around from his seat at a corner table and watched the saloon girls scold the bolder men.

  “Hey, Kavanagh! I heard you’re sitting on a big bounty. I’m thinking you should share,” Wilt Calin slurred. He stumbled to the table and sat in the chair opposite Fitzpatrick. He reeked of sweat and liquor.

  “Not sitting on anything at all.”

  “I thought you was getting hitched to the little gold mine.” Wilt’s eyes narrowed. “I’d be more than happy to marry her. Is she good lookin’ or would I need to put a flour sack over her head?” His cackling laugh scraped along Fitzpatrick’s nerves.

  But he chose to ignore the last part. “She works for us, and there isn’t a reward. It was paid.”

  Wilt had trouble getting his hand into his vest pocket, but he finally pulled out a ragged poster. “Not according to this.”

  Fitzpatrick took the piece of paper. It was another wanted poster with Brenna’s name on it. It also named the Kavanaghs as kidnappers. The reward was still the same, but this time it read a safe, unharmed return.

  He curled his lips into a silent snarl. Brenna’s father had put a target on their backs. He stood and left his drink on the table as he headed to the door.

  “Hey! What about my cut?” shouted Wilt.

  Ignoring the call, Fitzpatrick raced to the livery and harnessed his horse to the buggy. Hopefully, he wouldn’t be accosted on his way home.

  Teagan was still up doing paperwork when Fitzpatrick arrived home.

  “Is that my Sunday suit?” asked Teagan in surprise.

  Without answering, Fitzpatrick dropped the poster on the desk in front of his brother. “We have a problem.”

  Teagan looked at the poster and waves of anger emanated from him. “Kidnapping? Who is this man? From what we know he doesn’t have money for the reward unless the saloon owner is footing the bill. Someone needs to travel to New Orleans and end this. Of course, if she were already married…”

  “Angus might be willing or maybe Rafferty. If it’s done, she doesn’t have to pay her father’s debt.”

  Teagan chuckled. “Offering up two of your brothers. That’s kind of you.”

  Fitzpatrick shook his head. “I’m not putting my head on the platter.”

  Teagan gave him a hard stare. “I was counting on you to man up.”

  Fitzpatrick’s stomach dropped. She was not his responsibility. Teagan had no call to think there would be a wedding. Fitzpatrick wasn’t willing to take a wife. Being free was what he was all about.

  “Listen, Teagan, I agree she needs to get married quickly, but don’t count on me to be the groom. I’m going to bed.” He turned and walked to the door without giving Teagan a chance to argue.

  “Take off my suit!” called Teagan as Fitzpatrick pulled the door shut. “You can wear your own suit for the wedding.”

  A shiver went through him. It was definitely a no for getting married.

  He walked into the room he’d been using as his bedroom for the last several days and was surprised to see Brenna sleeping in his bed. The moonlight showered through the windowpane lighting up one side of her head. All his breath whooshed from his lungs. She sure was pretty. Her skin looked so soft. Her hands didn’t seem calloused. And yet she knew how to do most of the chores. Being outside all day could be rough on the skin. A deep sigh escaped her lips and she moved her head a bit. Her hair reminded him of a furious fire. It was all kinds of red.

  No. Keeping her safe would become someone else’s job. He shook his head. As much as he cared for her, he would not get tied down.

  He looked for another minute and then made his way upstairs to his old room. It had never looked so clean. When he got into bed, though, he could still smell her. The scent of lavender lingered in the room, on the sheets. She often smelled of lavender and honeysuckle. Odd, he’d never noticed what Theresa smelled like.

  Dolly and Brenna were making breakfast when Teagan walked into the kitchen.

  “Brenna, come sit at the table with me. I need to talk to you.”

  She dried her hands before she sat down. “What can I do for you, Teagan?” Her stomach clenched. She might not remember her name, but she realized that it was never good when someone said they needed to talk to a body.

  “A new poster has been put out about you. Your father is relentless. I’m afraid the only protection you’ll get is if you marry.” He looked contrite.

  Gasping, she stared at him. “I thought getting married was more of a ruse to get rid of the bounty hunters. I didn’t intend to really get married.” Fitzpatrick would hate her.

  “I haven’t talked to Angus, Rafferty, or Shea yet, but I’m sure one of them will step up. There are plenty of other honorable men on this ranch too. A husband will take precedence over a father. I can’t think of any other way. I know it’s not what you want.”

  Fitzpatrick’s name wasn’t mentioned. It felt as though she’d been stabbed in the heart with the sharpest of knives. Swallowing hard, she nodded. “I guess whoever volunteers is fine. Please don’t badger your brothers. I’m just the help, and they all deserve better. A ranch hand would probably work out the best.” Breathing became labored as her chest felt like it was being squeezed.

  “I can offer the incentive of building you and your husband a house here on the ranch.” The look in his eyes was so caring but with a bit of pity thrown in.

  “Thank you, Teagan. You and your family have been more than good to me. How will I be able to meet the men, or are you just going to ask for a volunteer?”

  Dolly stepped forward. “We will build a new house regardless who Brenna marries. Let’s get one started and we’ll provide a big lunch. This way Brenna can see the men and they can see her.”

  “I’ll have someone go into town and see about ordering the wood. The mill probably has enough for us to get started.” Teagan smiled. “I’d best give Gemma a hand with the children.”

  Brenna’s shoulders slumped after he left. She shouldn’t be upset about Fitzpatrick. She had no claim on him. She’d thought she felt alone before but that hadn’t been near the way she felt now. She quickly fixed a smile on her face before she stood and faced Dolly.

  “I need to go outside and gather my thoughts for a few minutes.”

  “Take your time, Brenna. You don’t have to marry the first man who asks. Get to know them first.”

  “Thank you for your advice.” Brenna wandered out the back door watching the sun rise upon God’s glory. It certainly was a beautiful day. She fisted hands and then relaxed them.

  Lord, everyone here seems nice, but I only trust You. If You could help to guide me through this marriage thing, I’d be grateful. I am grateful that I’m able to see You and Your wonders in everything I view. Please Lord, forgive my sins from before, whatever they were. I don’t think I ever did anything horrible, but I just don’t know. I think I was a church going woman. I let You in my heart when I entered the church here. I need to be able to sense if a man’s heart is good or bad. I don’t have the luxury of time to ferret out good from evil. Help me to have an open heart so I can hear what You tell me. Amen.
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  It would be an enjoyable day to work in the garden. It would help her keep her mind off her aching heart. She didn’t really want to marry Fitzpatrick. Why did that feel like a lie? She was a coward staying outside until the men went to work. But what else could she have done without making a fool of herself?

  Feeling ashamed, she went into the house and helped Dolly with the dishes. “I’m sorry.”

  “You have nothing to be sorry for. This all must be confusing and frankly shocking. I don’t think any woman wants to think her wedding will be hasty. I hope we can find a man you could welcome into your heart.”

  “You are wise, Dolly.”

  Dolly smiled. “That’s what they say.”

  “I will tend the garden today.”

  “Well Brenna, get going then. You don’t want to be out there when the sun beats down.”

  Brenna nodded. Her hat and gloves were in her room. After she got them, she picked up a big basket and went back outside.

  Shea didn’t talk to Fitzpatrick the whole time they fixed a sizeable portion of one fence. In fact, Fitzpatrick had been on the receiving end of some mean looks.

  “Shea, what’s going on?”

  “Like you don’t know.”

  “Maybe you can enlighten me.”

  Shea glared at him. “Somehow you got yourself off the list of marriageable men. The ranch hands are on the list, though. How’d you get out of it, brother?”

  “I just said I didn’t want to marry her.” Fitzpatrick shrugged.

  “Sounds selfish if you ask me. It’s not fair, and just so you know Rafferty and Angus aren’t happy with you either.” Shea shook his head and walked back to his horse. But instead of climbing into the saddle, he threw his hat on the ground and stomped back to Fitzpatrick. “You are so dense. Don’t you see the way she looks at you? She practically moons over you, and I know you like her. Why sentence her and one of us to a loveless marriage just because you don’t want to get married? We’re all building a house next week. The ranch hands will take turns helping so that Brenna can meet them all.”

  “What?”

  “Don’t look so surprised, Fitzpatrick. Brenna comes with a house. I’m not as concerned about getting stuck with her as I am a man will sweet talk her just for the house. I think I heard somewhere the help doesn’t marry the ranch owners.” He settled his glare right on Fitzpatrick’s eyes. “I never have trouble walking along the right path, but there is something about you that makes me want to hit you!” Shea stalked back to his horse, picked up his hat, and after putting it on, he mounted and took off.

  Fitzpatrick stared at Shea’s back. That was the most he’d ever heard Shea say at one time. If Shea didn’t want to marry Brenna, he could just say so. There were plenty of men about who’d be willing, though he conceded Shea could be right. The house might attract the wrong kind of man. They employed good, hard workers who didn’t cause trouble, but that didn’t mean they’d be suitable husbands.

  How did this become his problem? Brenna could pick a skilled man and be thrilled. They could have babies and… Somehow the children part bothered him. He hadn’t anticipated any feelings toward her to come out. No. They weren’t feelings, he was just concerned was all. He nodded as he picked up the tools, they’d used to fix the fence.

  “Poke, old boy, I’m sure glad your leg is healed. Did you hear what Shea said to me?” Being married meant he couldn’t go to town whenever he wanted. He’d have too many responsibilities. He stroked Poke’s neck. “I really don’t go to town much these days, but still if I wanted to, I could.”

  He pulled himself up onto the saddle. “It’s always good to talk with you, Poke. Haw!”

  Chapter Seven

  The trees provided much needed shade and Brenna was grateful. Three days in a row. Three long, boring days she’d sat and watched while the men built the house. So far, the cowboys were all smiles to her. Angus scowled at her, Rafferty nodded at her once and then pretended she wasn’t there, and Shea seemed downright hostile. The worst were the glares Fitzpatrick threw her way.

  If the Kavanagh brothers didn’t want her for a wife, that was fine. Hadn’t she already told Teagan a ranch hand might be best? She already had four she could get to know better. Dolly cautioned her about a man wanting her for the house. Her list had been longer, but Dolly had nixed a few. All Brenna knew was her heart couldn’t take much more. The loneliness she felt grew deeper by the day.

  She set out the midday meal on an improvised table. “Lunch is ready!”

  She received a few nods, but no one hurried over to her. Shrugging, she sat down. Her face grew hotter each time she thought that she’d waited long enough and still no one had come over. The few that did finally straggle over were men who were not on her list. The only Kavanaghs present at the house building were the unmarried ones. Humiliated beyond what her heart could take, she stood, untied the reins from the wagon, then climbed in and drove toward home. No one wanted her. That was understandable. A minute later, tears ran down her face. No, it wasn’t understandable, it was unbearably painful. What little pride she’d had faded along with her dreams.

  Would she have to beg one of the kind men to marry her? She wasn’t sure if she was pretty or not. Though she believed she was not hideous to look at. When she first looked in the mirror, she hadn’t recognized her face, but it was a fine enough face. She tried not to complain. In fact, she tried to just go along with whatever was happening. She stilled owed Teagan the bounty money he’d paid out.

  She glanced down at her dress. It was a beautiful blue that she thought matched her eyes. It wasn’t dirty or wrinkled. She took off her hat and patted her hair, all with one hand. It felt to be in place. What was it then? Maybe there was a reason she hadn’t already been married. But she didn’t have time to pity herself; she needed to fix whatever kept her husbandless. Her jaw dropped momentarily. Was it planned that they wouldn’t eat lunch with her? Her thoughts were just torturing her. But her mind wouldn’t stop, and by the time she got back to the ranch house she was a crushed nervous wreck in tears.

  She quickly mopped her face, hoping she looked fine as she entered the house.

  “What on earth?” She should have known Dolly would see how upset she was.

  “What can I do so I seem more like what a man wants in a wife? I really don’t know what a man wants. I must add back a couple of the men you crossed off my list. They were the only ones who bothered to acknowledge me and eat.”

  Dolly stared, mouth agape. After a moment, she recovered. “Were the rest of the men holding up a wall or something?”

  Brenna shook her head and stared at the floor. “I was humiliated. They all knew I was there. I called out it was time to eat. I saw enough reactions, and I know they heard me. Not one of them said a word. I don’t think I’ll bring lunch to them again. I felt so alone standing there while Angus, Rafferty, and Shea had the most unwelcoming expressions on their faces. And the whole time I was there, Fitzpatrick just glared at me.” A lone tear welled. “I am grateful for all everyone has tried to do to help me, but maybe I’ll just need to learn to protect myself without a husband.”

  “I’m so sorry—”

  “It’s not your fault at all, Dolly. I look in the mirror and the face is a stranger to me, but I’m not ugly. I don’t know why I was shunned, but I—I left the basket and everything at the building site. Most of my work is done. I’m going for a walk.”

  Dolly hugged her and rubbed her back. “Go take your walk. Maybe starting in the morning, you can cook a few meals to prove you’re a talented cook.”

  “That’s the whole problem. I don’t even know if I am a good cook.”

  Dolly stepped back. “You’ve helped me plenty of times and you knew what you were doing. I bet you have many talents we haven’t discovered yet.” She smiled.

  “Thank you, Dolly, for your belief in me. I won’t be long.”

  The sun was so bright and so hot. Brenna walked toward the woods for some shade. Maybe Doll
y had an outstanding idea, but it hadn’t soothed her hurting heart. If they didn’t want to marry her, why didn’t they just say so instead of treating her like the dirt under their boots? There was no reason she could figure, but she was sure it was a feeling she’d had plenty of experience with. Maybe her parents were unpleasant people. Surely her father was. She climbed over the mossy bark of a felled tree. She could hear the gurgle of the water before she saw it.

  She walked some more and found the stream. It was wide. Sunlight danced in little jewels over the surface. Was it deep? The urge to swim overcame her. As she approached the water, though, she hesitated. What if she didn’t know how to swim? Finding a big rock to sit on, she took off her shoes and stockings. She could wade for a moment, see how it felt. The current didn’t look powerful. Into the cool water she stepped, and she smiled. She took another few steps, already feeling refreshed. With her next step, it grew suddenly deep. The water was up to her waist, soaking her skirt. She turned to step back, and her foot slipped on a rock.

  The water covered her, but she was able to bob up again, and she sputtered. She tried to make it to the bank and she almost was there. But her head suddenly hurt, and her world turned dark. She clawed at her throat. She couldn’t breathe. Which way was up? Her heart pounded painfully, and she was exhausted by the time she broke through the water again. When she focused, she realized she’d been carried by the current and the place she’d started was no longer in sight. Something kept dragging her down into a watery coffin.

  She now knew to look for the light; that was the top. That was up. Her body banged into dead trees and rocks as she was carried along. Maybe it was the devil that was pulling her down into the water. Her strength waned and fighting to keep her head out of the water was growing harder and harder. It was a fight she couldn’t win.

  Fitzpatrick! How I wish you could have been mine.