I Think I Love You!

by Kathryn Shay

  She said, “I suppose you can park here.”

  He knew this would happen. “I’m not coming in.”

  “Father’s asleep,” she said in a sweet voice. Taking his hand, she kissed his knuckles. “It’s been a long time for us.”

  “I know. But you didn’t feel like it right after his heart attack, and I’m in a rotten mood tonight.”

  “Sex always puts you in a better one.”

  “Do you like having sex?” he asked out of the blue.

  “Of course. I adore being close to you.”

  “Sometimes, you don’t enjoy it.”

  Raven would, he knew in his gut.

  “Sometimes I don’t. But that’s pretty normal for women, isn’t it?”

  He’d had other lovers, in college when they were separated. He wasn’t sure she had, even when they’d taken a hiatus a couple of years ago because she was disturbed about not getting married and he wasn’t understanding enough.

  “I don’t know if that’s true for other women. But I will say I don’t like when you don’t come.”

  She recoiled at the term. “Blake! You don’t need to be crude.”

  And that about said it all.

  He knew he should probably work harder at pleasing her. But then he remembered... It’s all right darling. I’m getting my period.... Be careful of my hair. I have a big day tomorrow.... No, no more. I didn’t really feel like doing this, but you wanted to.

  So maybe she was the one not trying. But he guessed that wasn’t going change. Her attitude used to be all right with him.

  “Regardless, I’m sorry, Audrey. Not tonight.” He opened his driver’s door and went around to help her out. They walked to the front porch.

  Where she turned to him. “I want a kiss, at least.”

  His arms went around her waist and she looped hers around his neck. She raised up on tiptoes. And put her mouth to his.

  She didn’t press her body against him.

  She didn’t moan, and grab onto his neck.

  She didn’t hold onto him like she’d collapse if she didn’t.

  He told himself to get into the kiss. But he couldn’t so, this time, he pretended. When she drew back, he said, “I’ll call you. Hand me your key.”

  She pulled it out of her pocket and he unlocked the door. “Goodnight, Audrey.”

  She stepped inside. “Goodnight, Blake.”

  She was unhappy with him, but there was no show of temper or pique. Raven would have ripped him a new one.

  And as he walked to the car, he realized he’d thought of Raven all night—worse, he’d compared Audrey to her.

  Could he be any more of a slug?

  * * *

  Because she was going to Stepping Stones later today, Raven dressed in white capris she’d bought for school. And put on a soft seafoam blue top and pulled out a lightweight white jacket. She smiled at her reflection in the mirror. Again, she’d dressed like the room they’d hang. The notion pleased her.

  After moussing her hair—making it pretty punk—she slipped into low-heeled multicolored sandals and headed out the door.

  But once in the car, she couldn’t defer her thoughts any longer. Last night had been...boring. Scott talked so much about himself it was almost funny. When he asked her to dinner, she’d begged off. Thankfully, he didn’t push her to go. Maybe he noticed her disinterest, though people like him rarely did.

  At the gallery, she found Blake already in the second section. He sat at the table, which had been prepared like yesterday, sipping coffee and checking his phone. For a moment, she watched him. He scowled as he read. He’d dressed down today in a beige shirt, rolled up at the sleeves, and dark brown trousers.

  “Hi.”

  He glanced up.

  She frowned. “Didn’t you sleep last night?”

  “Hi, to you too. I slept okay. Why?”

  “You look exhausted.”

  He held up the coffee cup. “I always need a couple of these to wake up in the morning.”

  Since the image of waking up with him bloomed in her mind, Raven crossed the room as he...stared at her. No, it was more than that. The romantic phrase drinking in the sight of her came to mind. She sat. “How was your evening with Audrey?”

  “We had a quiet meal.” His hand tightened on the cup. “Did you have dinner with Blasdell?”

  She shook her head and his eyes widened.

  “What on earth did you do to your hair?”

  “You’ve never heard of mousse?”

  “It’s wild.”

  “Don’t worry, it’ll be boring the night of the opening.”

  “I didn’t mean it as a criticism. Actually, I like the ’do.”

  “Anyway, I didn’t have dinner with Scott. He talked about himself the whole time over drinks. I got bored and passed on eating a meal with him.”

  “He always talks about himself, Raven.”

  “I guess I didn’t know him well enough before.”

  His eyes lit...with fire. “Funny, he certainly wants to know you better. He barely stopped touching you when you were here.”

  “I know.”

  “Did you like it?”

  Frustration rose inside her. “No, Blake, I didn’t like it. And what’s going on with this third degree?”

  He stood abruptly. Oh, man, his trousers were actually chinos. They looked awesome on him. “Let’s get going on the room. Mick and Tim will be here in a half hour.”

  She stood too. Today, without her heels, she only came up to his shoulder. But that didn’t stop her from getting in his face. “No, I won’t work unless you talk to me.”

  “Damn it, Raven.” He grasped her arms tightly, but it was a loving gesture. “All right, I’ll talk to you. I’ll tell you that I hated seeing Blasdell paw you. I hated that you went out with him. I’ll tell you that I went to dinner with Audrey, was in a shitty mood—because of all the above—and wouldn’t be intimate with her afterward. And I didn’t sleep well, because I was wanting you!”

  Raven’s first instinct was to flee. She couldn’t hear all this.

  Liar.

  But she stayed where she was because she’d stopped being a coward with men along the way. She didn’t flinch from her father so she wouldn’t from Blake.

  “Sit back down.” She sat, too, and when he did, took his hand. He linked their fingers, the gesture so intimate it aroused her. “I’m sorry I ruined your night. I guess it was insensitive of me to go with Scott. But Blake, in no way can this thing between us go further. We both agreed we needed to control our feelings and, more so, our actions.”

  “I couldn’t control anything last night.”

  “That’s all right. We’ll start again today. You’re engaged, and you’re going to stay engaged.”

  He held her gaze. “What if I wasn’t?”

  Anger surfaced. “You made a deal with the devil. You have to marry Audrey to get this place and your father’s approval, which is apparently vital to your existence.”

  He closed his eyes.

  Her anger dissipated. “Look at me, Blake.”

  He did.

  “We have to be better. You have to be stronger.”

  “So it’s just me, then? You didn’t think about us for two weeks? You didn’t care that I had dinner with my fiancée?”

  She waited a long time before she said, “I did care. And I dreamed about you all night.”

  * * *

  Raven was glad to escape the gallery and Blake that afternoon. At Stepping Stones, she hauled in her magazines and the big poster board she wasn’t sure the school stocked in the art closets.

  Sun encompassed the art room and a warm breeze wafted in from the open windows. Macy wasn’t here today, so she would be alone with Devon. When the girl walked in, she noticed the shadows on her eyes. “Hey, there. You okay?”

  She flipped back her hair. “Yeah,” she said in a surly tone. “Why?”

  “For one reason, the tone you just took with me. I’ve never heard it bef
ore. Do you want to talk?”

  “No, I want to do art.”

  Maybe that would get her emotions out. Or maybe Raven could temper the girl’s mood. “Then sit down.”

  Devon dropped down at the table. “What’s all this?” At least she sounded curious.

  “I thought we’d make collages today. From magazines. Then maybe we can paint one of the things we put on them.”

  “I’m not good enough to do that.”

  “I’m a modern artist, honey. Being good is in the eye of the beholder.”

  Devon smiled for the first time.

  “Pick out some magazines. I got teen ones for you, art and fashion for me.”

  “What am I cutting out?” she asked when they had a few in front of them.

  “The good things in our lives.”

  Devon’s expression darkened. Raven ignored it and picked up a magazine. She cut out an ad for black jeans, to symbolize what kind of clothes she preferred. Next, a headline that said Sisters are the best. For some reason, she was attracted to a color in one of the art magazines. When she realized this was the exact hue of Blake’s eyes, she put down the scissors.

  And looked over at Devon. The girl sat staring down at an open magazine.

  That she began to rip to pieces. Raven waited. She remembered so many times as a child, the need to tear something apart. When Devon finished, she looked up. Silent tears coursed down her cheeks. Raven moved closer and slid her arm around her student. “Go ahead, sweetie, get it out.” Again, she could picture herself sobbing into the pillow at night.

  Devon put her head on Raven’s shoulder and cried. She brushed her hand down the girl’s pretty blond hair until she calmed.

  “Want to tell me?” she asked. “It might help.”

  Finally, Devon said, “I can’t come here anymore. My father doesn’t have the money.”

  “Oh, Devon. I’m so sorry.”

  “I won’t see you!”

  “Oh, yes you will. You and I will have private sessions.”

  “Really?”

  “Yes, really.” She gave her a knowing look. “I know it’ll be hard for you to leave the school. But one thing I learned when I was your age is that you need to be tough enough to endure the bad things until you can make the good ones happen yourself.”

  That seemed to soothe her, and soon they got back to work.

  Later, after the girl left, Raven headed to the principal’s office. The woman was on her computer and looked up. “Raven, hello. Can I do something for you?”

  “I hope so. Can I come in?

  “Yes, of course. Have a seat.”

  * * *

  Blake walked to the tee, found the right stance, gripped the club and, after eying the green, he swung. The ball soared through the beautiful April morning.

  “Nice shot, son.” His father was happy to be out and with him. Blake concealed his...turmoil.

  “Thanks, Dad.” They headed to the cart. Blake Sr. drove.

  “So,” he said to his father. “The show’s up. The installation’s complete. We’ll do the lighting next week and everything will be finished.”

  “I wish you hadn’t cut it this close.”

  It wasn’t close. But he’d placate this man. “Next week is the soonest Scott Blasdell was free. And the matching marble, which I wasn’t told you ordered until after the fact, was delayed.”

  “There are other lighting experts.”

  “Ravenna wanted him.”

  His father took a sharp left on the path to the ball and both of them swayed with the action. “It seems Ravenna got everything she wanted.”

  “Not true. We had differences about the color of each section and the order of the paintings. She took my input.”

  “Hmm.”

  “I know you were against having this show, Dad. This wing.”

  “I was. But I want you to be a success.”

  After parking the cart, they headed to their golf balls. His dad placed his shot perfectly. Before Blake took his turn, he sucked in a breath. He would not let his father’s bullying about the show ruin his game. He set up and hit another winner.

  Blake was proud of his play as they walked into the dining room of their club. He’d enjoyed himself—as much as possible given the suppressed emotion inside him. A waiter came right over.

  “I’ll have a martini,” Blake Sr. said.

  “Iced tea for me.” Blake needed complete control.

  “So, what’s next for you?” his father asked.

  “Next?”

  “What will you do when this show’s over?”

  “Dad, Audrey wants to plan a wedding.”

  “Your thirty-fifth birthday isn’t for six months.”

  “It takes a long time to get done, at least the fancy kind she wants.”

  “We have many friends, son. It’ll be here, of course.”

  Blake sighed. “Dad, let Audrey plan this. She’s smart and chic, and she’ll pull off a perfect event.”

  “She can. But we’ll hire a wedding planner to help.”

  Seriously? He couldn’t even win on this one. “Only if Audrey wants one.” He picked up his menu and studied it.

  His father recoiled. He wasn’t used to opposition or being dismissed.

  Blake realized this was the one big mistake he’d made. He’d let his father control all aspects of his life. But that insight had just come to him because of Raven.

  “Hell, Blake, how can you live under your father’s thumb like that?”

  “I don’t know what you mean.”

  “He’s controlling your career and when and who you’re marrying. It’s medieval.”

  “I guess you could see it like that. But I never did. It’s how he lived his life, how all the Parker men did. I don’t disagree with it.”

  “I don’t understand that. It’s stifling. Limiting. Totally demeaning.”

  “Demeaning? Why? He loves me and is doing what he knows is best. I want to be the gallery head, and wouldn’t choose someone he doesn’t approve of in any case.”

  The truth of her statements hurt. Blake guessed he’d made his bed and now he had to sleep in it. No matter how cold it was.

  * * *

  “Where’s everybody?” Raven asked Calla when she walked into her sister’s house.

  “The boys are staying overnight with Simon.” Her nephew-in-law. “And Nick took the girls to his parents’ house to visit and get out of our hair.”

  “Everyone could have come to my place,” Raven commented.

  “Please, don’t even whisper that. I’ve got quiet here that’s been missing in my life.”

  Raven knew Calla was ecstatically happy with her husband and now three kids. So she laughed. “Put me to work?”

  “What work? I had dinner catered.”

  “Really?”

  “I’m expecting six princesses for dinner.”

  “Let’s sit and wait for the others to arrive.”

  They took wine out to the sunroom of her lake house. Warm, with lush doe and brown furniture, the room was welcoming. They sat on one sofa. “So, how’s my star artist sister doing? Excited about the show?”

  Man, Raven hoped she could pull this off. Calla had extrasensory perception where her younger siblings were concerned. “I’m thrilled.”

  “Is it all up? Finished?”

  “Except for the lighting. It’s so beautiful. I can hardly catch my breath sometimes.”

  Calla sipped the tart Chardonnay. “Then why are there shadows in your eyes?”

  Looking away, Raven asked, “Are there?”

  “You know there are. The exhibit is almost done, but you’re sad.”

  She guessed her state of mind was bound to come out tonight, but Raven wasn’t sure she could tell it twice. “I am sad. Let’s wait until the others get here, though. If you noticed, they will, too.”

  “All right.”

  “So the exhibit opens on...”

  They were still sitting on the porch, now discussing C
alla’s son, when the doorbell rang. One by one, the princesses arrived, until they were all in the sunroom, enjoying pre-dinner wine, except Evvie, of course, who stuck to seltzer.

  “Update time,” Calla announced. They’d take turns telling how they were. “I’ll start. I’m going to begin working at the clinic again. I’m ready to do it.”

  “Good for you!” Evvie said, grabbing a vegetable dipped in dressing.

  After Calla talked about her upcoming return to medicine, Brie confirmed Dante had moved in. Frankie updated them on her cohabitation with Ty, too. When Mari’s turn came, she said, “Only another week to go and Jordan and Yvette can be with me openly.” Since he was her teacher, they’d had to wait for classes to end in her final year at Georgetown. “And he still hasn’t heard anything from Elise,” his wife, “about the divorce. But you know what? I don’t care. We’re going to Casarina anyway.”

  “Good for you, kiddo.” Raven grinned, delighted with her sister’s willingness to seize happiness despite its hazards.

  Lexy went next. “My second book is doing well. My third will be out in June.” She cocked her head at Raven. “We haven’t talked yet about doing more. After your opening, your work will be in demand.”

  “Do you want to do more Pickles books?” Raven asked.

  “I do but probably not without you. I can do some spinoffs, though, and get another illustrator. Ryder knows some.”

  “No!” Raven hadn’t thought this out but she knew the answer wouldn’t be any different if she had. “Let’s plan more adventures with Pickles and the gang.”

  Lexy got up and hugged her. “Thanks.”

  “Don’t thank me. I’m making terrific royalties on the first three.” Which she’d put toward a very special project.

  “As if we need that.”

  Mari said, “Raven, you’re up.”

  “My show opens in a few weeks. Hopefully, the reviews will be good after the critics’ reception. Mamá and Papá will be there opening night, so it will leak I’m a princess. I don’t know what I’ll do if the critics pan it, then the interest picks up afterward. How humiliating.”