So I'm a Spider, So What?, Vol. 7

by Okina Baba

  Looks like she’s planning on keeping Potimas alive until this whole affair is dealt with.

  Hmm. If that’s what she wants, I guess I’ll go along with it for now.

  I use Short-Range Teleport to free myself from the thread.

  That might seem like an excessive use of Teleport, but honestly, that’s the only way I can escape from the Demon Lord’s thread.

  For a moment after I free myself, the Demon Lord looks panicked, but she calms down when she sees I’m not going to do anything else.

  “Honestly. You ought to at least discipline your spawn properly.”

  Potimas grumbles as he brushes some dusts his clothes.

  That attitude pisses me off. If the Demon Lord hadn’t stopped me, I would’ve had his head.

  But then the cocky elf suddenly sinks to the floor.

  That’s not a metaphor or a joke. Literally, his body just sinks to the floor.

  “You’re the one who needs to be disciplined, don’t you think?”

  The culprit who sank Potimas to the floor, the Demon Lord herself, stands on his back.

  In the blink of an eye, she used a move sort of like a judo throw to smash him onto the floor, then pinned him down so hard that he actually made an indent in the floor.

  What an incredible, almost pointlessly polished move.

  It might be even more impressive that Potimas didn’t take any damage, despite being slammed to the ground.

  However, that’s only physical damage we’re talking about.

  Considering how enormous his ego seems to be, I’m sure being put in such a position must be humiliating to him.

  “If you try to pull any more funny business, I’m going to kill you on the spot. Got it?”

  “Hmph. If you think you can get by without me, go right ahead.”

  “So that means you are planning on more funny business?”

  “If you let your guard down, certainly.”

  This guy just casually stated that he plans to betray us if he gets the chance.

  No, I guess counting him as an ally was a mistake in the first place.

  Are we sure we shouldn’t just kill him right now?

  “Oh yeah? Go ahead and try it, then.”

  The Demon Lord’s voice is low and threatening.

  She must have put more weight on her foot, too; the floor starts cracking underneath him.

  But Potimas’s expression is as cool as ever, as if he doesn’t even feel pain.

  Well, I guess a cyborg body doesn’t need a sense of pain, so it makes sense that he wouldn’t include such a feature, but I would’ve liked to see him struggle and suffer.

  I guess seeing him crushed to the ground like this does help a little, but not enough to satisfy me, y’know?

  There’s definitely still a lot of anger pent up in my chest.

  My body’s fixed now, but my clothes got destroyed, for one thing.

  I’m wearing a spare outfit, but the one I had on before was one of my favorites, I’ll have you know!

  “Hey, White. You wanna step on him, too?”

  You better believe I do!

  Leave it to the Demon Lord. She really gets me!

  The Demon Lord removes her foot from Potimas’s back, so I stomp on him instead.

  He tries to get away, of course, but that’s not gonna happen!

  I pin down his back with one leg, then step on his head with the other.

  Can’t forget to grind my foot into his face, too, of course.

  “Rrrgh!”

  Potimas emits a groan, possibly from humiliation.

  He’s trying to squirm out from under me, but my feet have him pinned firmly to the ground.

  It’s convenient having so many legs at times like these.

  The only problem is that my feet actually end in pretty sharp claws, so I have to be careful not to stab right into him.

  Wait. Is it really a problem if I do stab him?

  “Oh whoopsie, I jabbed you a little by mistake, sorry~” I can totally get away with that right now!

  Let’s get down to it, then!

  Just then, my eyes suddenly fall on Potimas’s lower half.

  And a divine revelation descends on me!

  Hang on, though. This might be too evil even for me!

  But now that I’ve had the idea, I can’t help it!

  I’ve just gotta do it!

  My third leg stabs right into you-know-what!

  “Wha—?! Why, you!”

  “Pffft!”

  Potimas lets out a particularly dramatic reaction to that, causing the Demon Lord to snicker.

  I did it. Oh, I did it, all right!

  Aaaah!

  What did I do, you ask? I stabbed his butt, that’s what.

  Since he’s a cyborg, Potimas didn’t have a butthole, so I figured why not make one for him?

  So I did! You’re welcome.

  Potimas quakes uncontrollably with indignation, while the Demon Lord bursts out laughing.

  Hyuvan and the rest of the dragons, on the other hand, look pretty freaked out.

  “Yikes. This chick’s crazy.”

  “Big bro, are we gonna have to start calling this lady Ms. White from now on or what?”

  “We can’t ever get on her bad side, that’s for sure. She’s a demon, a white demon!”

  Hyuvan, the dragon that was carrying Potimas, and the one that was carrying the Demon Lord all make their own comments.

  They’re using Telepathy for a private exchange that only they’re supposed to be able to hear, but that stuff doesn’t escape my Detection, you know!

  Come on—even I don’t do stuff like this normally.

  “Bwa-ha-ha! Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha! Whew… Aaah-ha-ha-ha-ha!”

  The Demon Lord is smacking the floor and wheezing with laughter.

  At this rate, she might actually bust right through the floor.

  Well, I’m pretty satisfied that I got my sweet revenge, so I’ll take my feet off him now.

  When I pull up the one that was jabbed into his butt, Potimas’s body twitches, making my victory all the sweeter. It causes the Demon Lord to burst out laughing all over again, but it’s worth it.

  As soon as I remove my feet, Potimas scrambles away like a bat out of hell.

  “It has been many an age since… No, this may even be the first time that I have been treated so disgracefully.”

  Potimas’s normally composed expression is contorted with rage.

  “I shall kill you. This I swear. And in the most gruesome manner I can imagine at that.”

  Aw, shucks. A vow of violence for little old me?

  Thanks, ol’ chap.

  “Unfortunately, now is not that time. As I said before, I shall gladly make an attempt on your lives if given the chance, but right now, resolving this situation takes precedence.”

  Potimas closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, calming himself.

  “Until said situation is resolved, I shall let this incident slide. Consider yourself fortunate.”

  Potimas’s dramatic statement makes the Demon Lord start snickering again.

  I can’t blame her. Lines like that are pretty in character for this guy, but in this particular situation, it’s just hilarious.

  Like, he’s clearly trying to hang on to his last shred of dignity.

  That only makes it even funnier, especially to the Demon Lord, apparently.

  “And you. How long do you intend to roll around laughing like an imbecile? Consider our situation.”

  He’s not wrong, but since he’s saying that with such a sour look on his face, it clearly just sounds like he’s taking out his anger on the Demon Lord.

  Amazing! Potimas’s credibility as a big shot is going down by the second!

  At this rate, his stock’s gonna plummet so fast that they’ll have to stop selling shares!

  “Ahhh…ha-ha…whew. Heh. That was hilarious all right.”

  The Demon Lord wheezes as she tries to recover.

  She’s de
finitely still smirking, to the point where it looks like she might bust a gut again at any second, but somehow she manages to pull herself together.

  “Ha… Okay, where were we? If we let our guards down, you’ll kill us or whatever? I guess we’ll just have to rip you another new butthole whenever that happens. Pffft!”

  The Demon Lord starts laughing all over again at her own joke.

  “Enough already.”

  I guess I can’t blame Potimas for losing his patience.

  We’re not getting anywhere at this rate.

  Although I’m the one who caused it in the first place (and I can’t say I regret it).

  But considering the current situation and all, we should probably move on already.

  “All right, all right. Let’s get down to business.”

  The Demon Lord suppresses her smile, nodding seriously.

  I can still see the corners of her lips twitching, but I’ll let it slide.

  “We’ll just call it even for now, okay? We’re not gonna be able to work together as a team, but we can at least pool our resources here. You’ve got the know-how to deal with these machines, and we’ve got our serious firepower. So we’ll just use each other. Instead of trying to play nice, we’ll just assume we’re going to stab each other in the back. Any objections?”

  “None.”

  None? Really?!

  Are we seriously okay with this?

  The fate of the world is at stake—you know that, right?

  But I guess it’s not like we can just start trusting Potimas now.

  Huh? Wait a sec.

  Depending on how you look at it, isn’t this kind of a three-way battle?

  The Demon Lord and I are basically in a cold war right now.

  And Potimas is obviously an enemy to both of us.

  Since he called me “the Demon Lord’s spawn” earlier, he must not realize that the Demon Lord and I are actually enemies with a shaky truce.

  Depending on how this goes, couldn’t I use Potimas to get rid of the Demon Lord once and for all?

  But that also means that if I’m not careful, she could do the same thing to me.

  And Potimas’s aggro is totally concentrated on me right now…

  Oh geez.

  I guess I have to be even more careful than I thought.

  Oh, I know! I can have Hyuvan run interference for me.

  “Dragons, you guys can go back and make sure we keep control of the skies, ’kay? You don’t need to do anything crazy, just help our troops on the ground keep the advantage.”

  “You got it, boss. You gonna be okay, though?”

  “Yeah, we’re fine.”

  We are certainly not fine!

  “If you say so. Be careful in there!”

  With that, Hyuvan and the other dragons take off into the skies.

  Now it’s just the Demon Lord, Potimas, and me.

  Not exactly my ideal situation.

  “Okay, let’s get moving. Looks like there’s a welcome party waiting for us first, though.”

  The Demon Lord scowls into the UFO.

  A small army of robots is approaching from within.

  Looks like they kept plenty of troops on board to deal with any intruders.

  THE STRUGGLE OF THE PONTIFF’S GROUND FORCES

  In the distance, I see a great number of machines approaching, creating an enormous cloud of dust.

  I swallow my spit in an attempt to soothe my parched throat, but it has little effect in the dry air of this wasteland.

  It appears I am more nervous than I realized.

  As the pontiff of the Word of God religion, there is no reason I should be part of this battle.

  As I stand under the pressure of the battlefield, I realize all too clearly that I am a politician, not a commander.

  Or perhaps I should say remember, not realize.

  Long ago, before the Word of God religion became such a large organization, I commanded an army once.

  However, I soon learned that I had no talent for war.

  As it is a role that uses one’s mind, I thought I should at least be able to feign it adequately. Yet, when it came time to enter the battlefield, I found I was nothing more than a scarecrow.

  There are times, such as this one, when I have no other choice but to participate, but otherwise I prefer to leave it to my more talented subordinates.

  The right person, the right place, the right time.

  This should not be my battlefield.

  But this time, there is meaning behind my presence here.

  Before me stand the knights of the Word of God.

  There are thirty thousand of them, all told.

  Normally, they are meant to stay at the Word of God’s focal point, the Holy Kingdom of Alleius, as the strongest line of defense.

  But these are the only men I could mobilize on such short notice.

  As a result, the Holy Kingdom has been left virtually defenseless.

  Furthermore, it is very likely that many knights will make the ultimate sacrifice in the coming battle, meaning that Alleius’s military might will be vastly depleted.

  Coupled with our recent failed attempt at invading Sariella, we are suffering so many losses that the kingdom itself could crumble.

  However, we are in no position to hold back.

  The fate of the world hangs in the balance.

  I, of all people, cannot bring anything short of my full forces to such a battle.

  Even if others might forgive it, I myself would not.

  This is all so I can keep my vow to do anything it takes for the sake of humanity.

  Even if I must sacrifice my “power” in the form of the Word of God organization, I will gladly do so if it means humanity is protected.

  And if it will raise my knights’ morale, then I cannot hesitate to be present at this battlefield, either.

  Even if I am a subpar commander, my presence gives these knights strength.

  If I am to send these people to their deaths, the least I can do is offer them that small comfort.

  I cannot simply sit around when the world is in peril.

  “Thank you for gathering here today, all of you.”

  My amplified voice reaches every knight.

  “The forces you are about to fight are far stronger than any monsters you have faced; this battle will likely be the fiercest you have ever encountered.”

  The knights listen intently, hanging on to my every word.

  “Your opponents are the vanguard of evil creatures who once felled our god. The surviving creatures have returned to attempt to destroy the world once more. Know that the very survival of our world depends on the outcome of this battle!”

  When I finish my speech, the knights raise a battle cry so loud, it almost seems to shake the earth itself.

  These knights are devout believers in the Word of God.

  Normally, this situation would make no sense to most people, but they have absolute trust in the words of their pontiff.

  This is my “power.”

  I know all too well that I am exploiting these people, in a way.

  But the time when I felt guilt for such a thing has long since passed.

  I have no hesitation about sending them to near-certain death.

  “Charge!”

  On my order, the knights raise another yell and rush forward.

  But then an explosive roar drowns out their cries.

  The wind blows so violently that I’m forced to shut my eyes.

  When I attempt to open them again, another gale blows into my face.

  But in the moment that my eyes are open, I see the mechanical soldiers’ formation falling apart.

  The machines are being crushed and annihilated along with the very ground.

  And more attacks mercilessly follow.

  This brutal assault is the work of the queen taratects: the legendary-class monsters Lady Ariel summoned.

  The queen taratects’ breath attacks are what’s currently de
cimating the machine soldiers.

  Few monsters are categorized as legendary class.

  It’s a level considered beyond the ability of any humans to fight—essentially a living natural disaster.

  Most of them are beings that were made to manage this world, working under the supervision of Lord Black Dragon.

  But the queen taratects, which Lady Ariel created, are a notable exception.

  Unlike the other legendary-class monsters, which were designed to be such from the beginning, these are base monsters that have evolved to incredible heights.

  It’s said that a single one of these powerful beings can ruin an entire nation.

  That is the queen taratect: a distinctive monster even among the rare legendary class.

  And there are four of them here.

  How many human kingdoms could these four monsters destroy?

  It’s said that an entire army led by a hero once managed to defeat a single queen taratect.

  The hero and most of the army were lost in the process.

  Even then, it was a miracle they were able to defeat it at all.

  And now four of these almighty monsters are fighting on our side.

  I cannot think of a more powerful ally.

  The queen taratects take turns mowing down the enemy’s mechanical soldiers with breath attacks.

  This causes an unimaginable amount of destruction that stops the charging knights in their tracks.

  They have no other choice.

  If they kept advancing, they would be caught up in the queen taratects’ destructive rampage.

  There is nothing humans such as them can do in the face of such destruction.

  Still, I would not complain if the queen taratects alone were to wipe out all our enemies.

  Unfortunately, it looks as though we won’t be so lucky.

  Large balls of light hurtle toward the queen taratects.

  It’s a counterattack from the large “tank” machines, which are advancing right in the face of the queen taratects’ breath attacks.

  According to Lady Ariel, these tanks have a magic-inhibiting barrier.

  The queen taratects’ breath attack is a magic art, so the barrier renders it useless.

  It cannot protect the tanks from collateral damage, like the shock waves knocking them into the air, but a direct attack from Breath has no effect.

  And worse, there is little that any humans can do to break through these tanks’ defenses.