Grow Up

by Craig Anderson

  Movement caught his eye, and a familiar face stepped out of the shadows. It was the last person that he wanted to see.

  Jax grinned back at him. “Finally got you where you belong.”

  “Piss off, Jax, I’m not in the mood for your gloating right now.”

  “That is one of the many problems of your species, the moods. You are savage and unpredictable, which is why you are so hard to beat. A few more minutes and I would have won that trial.”

  “Keep telling yourself that. You were beaten not once, but twice, by a teenager that has been piloting mechs for a matter of hours. If I’m kicking your arse now, imagine how easily I will be crushing you when I’ve had some practice.”

  Jax made a sound, which was translated into laughter. “A shame you will not get the chance. You have committed the one crime that all factions still agree upon, you have piloted a mech without a license to practice law. You will face the ultimate punishment.”

  “Let me guess, straight to the naughty step for me?”

  “You will be strapped into a mech and forced to defend yourself against a collective of the various factions.”

  Josh smirked. That didn’t actually sound as bad as he thought. At least he would have a chance. Better than a firing squad. “I guess you’d better hope everyone sends their best then.”

  “Oh that won’t be necessary. You won’t be putting up much of a fight.”

  “That’s what everyone said about my last trial, and look how that turned out.” Josh wasn’t sure if he was trying to convince Jax or himself.

  Jax’s grin widened. “That would be an impressive feat, even for you. As an unqualified lawyer you aren’t permitted to control the mech, and the mech is completely unarmed.”

  Josh’s last hope evaporated into thin air. It was a death sentence after all, just a more elaborate one. He had to admit, there was a poetic justice to it, even if he was the one that was going to be on the receiving end.

  Jax peered around the room and moved in closer to Josh, who backed away from the force field. Jax lowered his voice to a whisper. “Of course, there’s still one last chance…”

  “What?” The word was out of Josh’s mouth before he could stop himself.

  “Come work for me. You committed this unforgivable crime in a battle against the Galactic Corp, which means we are the ones that must bring the charges. I am sure I could convince my superiors to drop the case, if I had a good reason.”

  “No way,” Josh said, backing away.

  “Why not?”

  “I made a deal with the Blurgons. I signed a contract.”

  “So what? Contracts are broken all the time, if they weren’t we wouldn’t need all these lawyers! We can just add it to the list of trials for us to beat them in.”

  Josh hesitated, and Jax continued. “You seem like an intelligent creature, which is why I don’t understand your reservations. You aren’t from Blurgon, you have no loyalty to them. You haven’t endured a lifetime of their propaganda against the Galactic Corp.”

  “Of course you call it propaganda, the bad guys always do.”

  Jax laughed particularly hard at that one. He said, “Do you know what they say? That the Galactic Corp likes to win, that they don’t follow tradition or rules, that they use the very best equipment and the very latest techniques. That they like to have money and buy stuff. Do those sound like bad things to you? You don’t strike me as the sort that follows the rules, if you were we wouldn’t be here.” He rapped on the forcefield, making a dull hum. He continued, “You ever notice how the Blurgon High Command is busy telling their people not to want stuff, or use resources, and yet they live in a massive palace? They sell their planet’s resources by the ship load, where does all that money go? You call us the villains? They just want to keep everything the way it is, because they are the ones who benefit. That’s why the Galactic Corp is so threatening to them. We are threatening to upset the delicate balance that they have created, with them at the top of the pyramid.”

  “You don’t know what you’re talking about,” Josh said.

  “Oh really? So you’re telling me that the Teacher is now open to new ideas about how to operate a mech? It isn’t all just decades-old tutorial vids and the same old tactics? If so, it certainly didn’t show in his performance today.”

  “How do you know…”

  Jax answered the question by dropping his body to the ground, revealing a floating blue form.

  Josh gasped. “You’re a Blurgling!”

  Jax scooped the shell back up and shook it back on. “I was. Now I fight for myself. Top of my class, Teacher’s favourite student. I did everything they asked of me, every task, every mission. Then one day I realized the truth. The only reward for good work, was more work. I won cases, so they gave me harder cases, then harder still, until all I was doing was losing. I tried to tell them it didn’t make sense, that anyone could lose the impossible cases, that I should be fighting cases I could win, but their answer was always the same. This is how it has always been. That was when it hit me, Blurgon is doomed to lose. They do not have the skills required to win this game, nor do they have the desire to change. The best they can hope for is a slow demise. Don’t get dragged down with them. Get out now, while you still can. Join the winning side.”

  “So what would the terms be, if we made an arrangement?”

  “You’d work for me. I’d teach you techniques that Teacher could only dream of, and together we would crush every foe that dared get in our way. With some proper coaching I could help you get past this petty rebellious streak that is holding you back. There will be no more ignoring orders, provided you can do as you are told and follow instructions you will be fine.”

  “For how long?” Josh asked, afraid he already knew the answer.

  “Until the Galactic Corp runs out of enemies to conquer.”

  There it was. A lifetime as a slave, or certain death.

  “No deal.” He shocked himself with the firmness of his voice. The answer still felt so uncertain in his head, but his heart was strong in its conviction. “Nobody plays the game in the hopes of joining the bad guys. I’ll just have to find a way to make it work.”

  “It’s impossible.”

  “You know what, I hear that a lot. When I started playing Shadow Souls on sadistic, everybody told me it couldn’t be done, that every problem had no solution. I proved them all wrong, and I’ll do it again. Make your claim, send your team, do your worst, and when I win, I’m coming for you.”

  Jax’s grin faded and he hissed back, “You’re even more stubborn than I thought. Soon you’ll no longer be a threat. Perhaps after we’ve crushed this planet we will turn our sights to yours.”

  “Good luck with that. You think I’m a pain in your arse, just wait until you try fighting the South Koreans. They make me look almost as crappy as you.”

  Jax didn’t say anything else. He stormed out.

  Josh shook his head. He’d just turned down the only viable way to save his arse, and now he was going to have to come up with a new one, straight out of thin air.

  He cracked his fingers. It was time to get creative. He could solve this, one problem at a time. He just wished he had his notebook.

  ***

  Gargle tried to concentrate, but it was increasingly difficult. There was stimulus everywhere—loud noises, flashing lights, delicious smells. This place was a trap, and it had him firmly in its grip.

  He stared at the cards on the table in front of him. Caitlin had been very clear, he was to bet fifty pounds for every hand, unless he felt that increasing that amount was statistically advisable. She had said something about establishing himself as a high roller. He wasn’t sure what that meant, but it supposedly involved making poor financial choices with sums of money that could be far better spent on literally anything else.

  One caveat that Gargle was still confused by was Caitlin’s insistence that they had to pretend not to know each other. That was easier for him in a lot of ways
as he barely knew her, but it was still odd behaviour. They were sitting at the same Blackjack table, but several seats apart, and she had made him memorize a long list of secret codes and commands, so they could communicate without the casino knowing. The whole thing seemed highly conspiratorial.

  Things in the casino were slightly different than the cafe. For a start the casino was using six decks, which made keeping track of the remaining cards marginally more challenging. They also had a special machine that shuffled the cards up, making things less predictable. Still, there was enough of a statistical advantage with the information that Gargle could track that allowed him to eke out winnings by betting strategically.

  Even though he knew the exact odds, he still felt his pulse race when he won a big hand. There was a rush of hormones, and a little voice in his head telling him to do it again, play again, win again. It took a great amount of concentration for him to dial down the voice and try to maintain a calm, rational composure.

  Caitlin seemed equally excited by his progress, although she couldn’t say as much directly. She continued to play the table minimum, no matter how much Gargle bet. It was not an optimal strategy, but he had to assume she had her reasons.

  They had been playing for what felt like a long time, although it was hard to tell. There was nothing around to indicate the passage of time. Gargle wished he had Josh’s communicator, but asking Caitlin for it back would be a giveaway for their ruse. For some reason it kept buzzing, and Caitlin would pick it up, look at it, wince and then place it face-down back on the Blackjack table.

  The stack of chips in front of Gargle had been growing steadily, but so had his mistrust of this establishment. Everything in here was designed to encourage poor decision making and general risk-taking. The other patrons that shuffled past them appeared to be in a trance—those coming in were smiling, those leaving had a look of quiet desperation. All around them, amongst the endless cheery jingles, were whoops of elation and groans of those less fortunate.

  He would have left already, but he had noticed something else. The setup was not perfect. The odds were stacked against them, but there were gaps to be exploited. For a start, there was something wrong with the shuffling machine. It was supposed to be completely random. However, after sitting at this table for the better part of the day Gargle had started to notice the underlying pattern. It was obvious after the 23rd shuffle that it was repeating itself, and had been for the last 5 shuffles. He waited ten more shuffles just to be certain, mentally noting what each card would be before it was drawn. He was right, over and over again. He adjusted his strategy accordingly, dropping his bid to the table minimum for two hands that he knew would go against him. He stopped when he noticed the dealer had started to pay more attention to what he was doing.

  Caitlin saw it too. She checked her phone and said, “Would you look at the time!”

  That was the agreed-upon code that Gargle was supposed to wrap up and leave. The plan was for him to wait around the corner and give Caitlin the chips. She would then cash them in. It was unfortunate that he wasn’t able to openly communicate with her, he could have told her what was coming up. In only two more hands there would be the perfect opportunity for them to maximize their winnings, which was surely the point of this whole exercise.

  Gargle decided to go for it. Caitlin would surely understand.

  He placed a nominal bet on the next hand and ignored her sideways glance. Just one more to go. He lost his money, but it didn’t matter. The opportunity was upon him.

  He slid his entire pile of chips on to the betting square. The dealer shook his head. “Sorry sir, that is above the table maximum.”

  “Can you confirm with your superior?” Gargle said. He was used to dealing with underlings; it was always better to go directly to someone with the authority to make decisions.

  “Of course. One moment.” The dealer waved at a man in a suit, who walked over. He looked at the pile of chips on the table and his eyes grew wide. Then he mumbled something to the dealer and walked away.

  The dealer said, “He’s willing to grant an exception to the table maximum, just this once.”

  “Are you sure about that, young man? That’s an awful lot of money!” Caitlin said through gritted teeth.

  “Yes, strange lady, I am statistically certain.”

  The dealer waited for the exchange to finish and then did his thing. Gargle’s first card was an ace, just as predicted. He was not surprised when his next card was a king, but the dealer was. The croupier yelled, “Blackjack!” He counted out a large stack of black chips and slid them toward Gargle.

  The pit boss was suddenly very interested in what was going on. He spoke into a small radio and several large men in suits started to move toward the table. Caitlin picked up her handbag and said, “Guess that’s my cue to leave.” She glared at Gargle before walking away.

  Gargle slowly scraped the pile of chips into his hands as the large men surrounded him. He said, “How kind, are you here to help me with my winnings?”

  Apparently, they were not.

  ***

  Josh had no idea what time it was. He had nodded off, slumped against the corner of his cell. The low hum of the forcefield created a soothing white noise that lulled him to sleep.

  He was awoken by a sharp jab in the ribs. He jumped back, surprised to find his small cell occupied, and he prepared to defend his life from a stereotypically angry cellmate. After a few blinks he was relieved to see Shift staring back at him. She looked tired, the kind of exhausted typically reserved for new parents.

  “Hey,” was the best he could manage in his groggy state.

  “Hello Josh. I am surprised to see you sleeping without your bed. I have requested that they bring it to your cell.”

  He winced at the thought. “Thanks, that’s very thoughtful, but I am fine sleeping on the floor. Where have you been?”

  “I have been in meetings with the Blurgon High Command. This is quite the quandary you have placed us in. The Galactic Corp have decided to proceed with the case, which is not the decision we were hoping for. I requested leniency due to your inexperience with matters of the law, but unfortunately ignorance is not a defence. If it was, you would already be free.”

  Josh couldn’t help but laugh. “Thanks, I think.”

  “I fail to see the humour in this scenario. The traditional punishment for this crime is to be…”

  “I’m aware of the punishment. Jax paid me a visit.”

  She raised an eyebrow. “Did he now? What exactly was he offering?”

  “He asked me to go work for the G.C.”

  Her indignation was instant. “You can’t, you are under contract with the Blurgon…”

  “Relax. I told him to shove it.”

  “Shove it where?”

  “Never mind. I told him no. I agreed to help you guys, and I intend to keep that promise, if I live that long.”

  “That is unlikely. We have been going back and forth and have not been able to find a loophole. You are not a qualified lawyer, and only a qualified lawyer can control a mech. The law on this is quite clear, it was the one area all the factions agreed upon.”

  “Ok, could I be Second Chair? If we could get a qualified lawyer to sit in…”

  “No. We thought of that. Remote control of the mech is not permitted in this instance. It has to be piloted from the inside, but it scans to make sure the user is a qualified lawyer. There is only room for one in the mech, and that person must be you.”

  “Plan B then. I’ll just have to get qualified.”

  “Unfortunately you can’t. We cannot let you out of this cell before the trial, and the only place to take the bar exam is in the accredited test arena. No exceptions are made, not even by order of the High Command. If it was discovered we had breached test protocol, we would be at risk of all Blurgon lawyers having their qualifications revoked. That would leave us completely unable to defend ourselves.”

  “Ok, so I can’t take the test here,
I can’t leave this cell, and no-one can control the mech from afar. I’ve got to be honest, that doesn’t sound great.” Josh rubbed at his temples. There had to be a solution, there always was. His problem was, he didn’t understand the rules well enough. He was trying to find a loophole in a system he didn’t fully understand. “How long until the trial?”

  “It will take a couple of days to assemble the opposition.”

  “Ok, I’m going to need every book you have on this topic, a barrel of buzz beans, my notebook, and access to the Ship’s Computer.”

  “The first three I can do, but not the latter. The A.I. has been sent for diagnostics. It will be decompiled and assessed for flaws. Some are saying it is responsible for us being in the mess, that it intentionally chose such an unruly species to cause chaos and encourage the G.C. to accelerate their takeover, which is what is happening. They say the G.C. are scared of you.”

  “Good. We can use that. Tell the High Command that they will stop whatever it is they are doing with the Ship’s Computer, because I said so. If they want to tear her apart they can do so over my dead body. Right now I am their best hope of beating the G.C. and I can’t do that without help from my A.I. companion.”

  Shift gasped. “You cannot tell the High Command what to do, you are beneath them.”

  “I have a death sentence, I don’t have anything to lose.” He reached out and placed his hand on her shoulder. “You can do this, I believe in you. You’re a kick-arse envoy.”

  Josh watched as Shift stood a little straighter. She said, “This is an entirely pointless endeavour that will almost certainly result in your demise, but I shall try.”

  “Why does everyone around here suck at inspirational speeches?”

  Level 16: Change Your Mind

  Josh grinned as the familiar voice came over his earpiece.

  “Shift told me what you did. Thanks for saving me,” said the Ship’s Computer.