Grow Up

by Craig Anderson

“Why has this weakness not been discovered before?” asked one of the High Command.

  “No-one has ever survived long enough to try. There is a gap in the Behemoth’s weaponry when it goes to reload. Right at the front is a narrow cone where its weapons do not provide adequate coverage. That is what I shall exploit. I shall feign like I am dodging left, and then I will dash right, which will put me within the cone. The access hatch is right at the front of the mech. We just have to hope the Galactic Corp are not aware of this weakness. If they are, all they have to do is start with the Behemoth facing backwards and we will be in serious trouble. There is no such blindspot on the back, and the hatch will be almost impossible to get to. We’d be destroyed before we got close.”

  The High Command all turned to stare at the Teacher, awaiting his assessment. Josh held his breath. This was it, the moment where their fate would be determined.

  “It sounds like a sound strategy if the Galactic Corp falls for it. I do not see a viable alternative. I reluctantly concede that this is our best option.” Josh caught a hint of a twitch on the left mandible. Was that his equivalent of a smirk? Josh hoped so; he was looking forward to wiping it off his Teacher’s face once and for all.

  “You may leave now to prepare,” said one of the High Command. Josh didn’t wait for the guards to kick him out, he strolled straight out of the door. Shift was waiting for him outside. He was ready for shouting, but instead she slapped him right across the face.

  “You absolute barnacle, why would you do that to me? You made me look like an idiot in there. After all that I did, lying to High Command, for you to betray me like that. I hate you.”

  He tried to reach out to hug her, but she pushed him away. “Stay away from me.” Then she tore out of her shell and floated straight through the door.

  That was unpleasant.

  “Yes, it really was. Let’s hope it was worth it. Ready to bring this plan home?”

  Let’s do it.

  ***

  Gargle skipped to the front door of the house, excited to fill his Mum and Dad in on his day. His Mum and Dad. He hadn’t thought of them that way, but that was what they were becoming. He was going to help them get back together, and solve his Dad’s financial problems, and ace his exams, and make them both proud. He positively beamed at the thought. He could be anything he wanted here. He could be a better Josh than Josh ever was, a thoughtful, caring son that would keep his room clean and do the dishes.

  He burst in to find his Dad on the couch, his eyes red, with a bunch of flowers strewn across the dining room table. Gargle rushed over to him. “Are you alright? Are you hurt?”

  “Only my pride,” he said, choking back the tears. “I can’t believe I fell for her lies again. I must be stupid.”

  “Whose lies?” Gargle asked, fearing he already knew the answer.

  “Your mum’s. She was supposed to be here an hour ago, so I texted her to see where she was. When she didn’t answer I checked her location on the family app.”

  “Wait, you can track her location?”

  The Dad looked around guiltily. “I almost never use it, she forgot to revoke my access when we split up. I was honestly just checking to see if she was on her way or if I had time for a quick shower, but then I saw this.” He showed the screen to Gargle.

  It took him a moment to understand what he was seeing. “The casino?”

  “Yep. She promised me she’d never go there again, and yet what does she do the moment our backs are turned? She went back. She’s never going to change, she will always be a gambler first, and a wife and mother second.”

  “Perhaps there is an explanation?” Gargle said, desperately clinging on to his imaginary family.

  “There is. She’s an addict. That’s all there is to it. I want you to stay away from her, do you hear?”

  “But she is my Mother…” Gargle said, feeling a new rush of emotions. “You can’t tell me not to see her!” He had an overwhelming urge to be somewhere else, and he ran up the stairs. His bedroom felt safe, his own personal space, and he was barely in it when Pickle was up on his lap, trying to lick the tears that had started to form. Caitlin had lied to him, she had betrayed his trust, and now his Dad would go back to being sad and alone. Money was not what he was missing, Gargle understood that now. The money would help to pay the bills, but it would not put a smile on his Dad’s face. Only Caitlin could do that.

  She needed to know that. Gargle knew what he needed to do.

  ***

  Josh strolled into the lawyer’s booth. It was elegant and tasteful, perched high above the arena, which was currently lowered. Any moment now, the mechs would raise up on their platforms. He would have an excellent view of the fight from up here.

  There was a pristine Mech Controller on a floating desk, which he immediately pushed to one side. He removed his game controller from his backpack and synced it up. Then he took out his tie, and tied it around his head. “You ready for the show?” he said out loud.

  Sure am. I have front-row seats, replied Frag.

  The arena was full, and several ships hovered overhead, keen to get a glimpse of the action. The huge viewer showed a much-improved picture of Josh that had been taken from a higher-resolution security camera. He had his tie around his head, just like now. That was when he realized it was a live feed from his booth. He waved, and the crowd erupted.

  The feed switched to another familiar face. Jax was decked out in a formal Galactic Corp uniform, all in black, with their logo on the breast. He looked calm and collected, as he should be.

  Josh glanced across and saw what he assumed was the Galactic Corp Board Members. They were chatting nonchalantly in the dignitaries’ suite, which was off to the side just below his booth. It had a large sweeping view of the arena, but the board members were not looking out of it. Today’s result was a foregone conclusion; they were simply here to facilitate a smooth transfer of power. As Josh watched, the doors opened, and the Blurgon High Command floated it, with Teacher in tow. They moved anxiously to the window.

  Josh felt the nerves start to kick in. He was really doing this. This wasn’t a game, it wasn’t for fun, there were no second chances. If he lost today, millions of people would be affected.

  Stop it, said Frag in his head. This is no different from any other fight. You can do this, I know you can. I wouldn’t be here if you couldn’t. You are Josh Harper, the finest Lawyer that Blurgon has ever known.

  “Thanks, coach!” he said, but he did feel a little better.

  A voice over a speaker said, “Final preparations for the trial are commencing. This is your last chance to alter your mech selection. Make your final choice now.”

  Josh did.

  The same voice said, “Negative Blurgon Lawyer, we do not have a mech of that designation in the hangar for you. Please make an alternate suggestion.”

  “No need. It’s coming in as a special delivery. Just leave the platform empty.”

  “I did not hear that, please repeat, it sounded like you said do not load a mech on the platform for you.”

  “Yes, that is correct.”

  “Ok, just let me check I have a valid recording of that request…yep, you’re on your own.”

  The two platforms slowly rose out of the ground. The Behemoth just kept going and going, up and up, towering over the arena. It barely fit on the platform. Two huge viewers on either side showed angles from the arena floor, which made it look even larger.

  Josh smiled as the two final pieces of the puzzle fell into place. The Behemoth was facing backwards, and its arsenal was almost exclusively laser turrets.

  The crowd gasped as the Blurgon platform turned up without a mech. Now the G.C. Board of Directors were paying attention.

  The speaker’s voice said, “You have 34 seconds to provide your own mech or you will forfeit this trial.”

  “Way ahead of you.” Josh pointed the big red button at the arena floor and pushed it. He really hoped it was accurate; if it landed in the stands th
is was going to be a very awkward explanation.

  There was a glint above the arena, that slowly became a red dot, then a streak. It arced down towards the arena, and the ships above hastily moved out of the way. It carved through the sky, leaving a long tail behind it, and then it started to decelerate.

  The Ticket Buster hovered down through the ceiling of the arena, although it was barely recognizable. It had no arms; in their place were huge green booster fuel cannisters. There were two even larger cylinders on its back. It touched down in the arena gently, and ejected a cannister that it had used for the flight down. It landed on the arena floor with a thud.

  Ejection test worked perfectly, Frag noted.

  “Sure did. We might be in with a chance after all.”

  Josh was glad he couldn’t see the look on High Command’s face right now. It would be a strange mix of confusion and anger. He risked a glance over at the dignitaries’ suite. Teacher was pressed against the glass, no doubt trying to determine the meaning of this last-minute change. Even if he figured it out, it was too late.

  A blue light washed across both mechs, to scan them for illegal modifications. Josh held his breath. They had pushed their custom build to the limit, but all the parts were standard and the Ticket Buster was well below the weight limit. There was no reason for it to fail, but he still stared at the little light until it flashed green.

  “Yes!” he said, exhaling at last. That was the final hurdle. They had passed inspection. Now they could fight.

  One of the viewers buzzed.

  Incoming call from Jax.

  “Accept it.”

  Jax filled the screen, his face contorted. “What is with the theatrics? Is it not enough for me to blow your pathetic mech to pieces, you had to cover it in explosives first? You don’t even have any weapons. This is going to be over even quicker than I predicted.”

  “You’d better hope so.” Josh winked and ended the call.

  With both mechs approved, the countdown began.

  Josh would decide the fate of an entire planet in

  3…

  2…

  1…

  Level 22: Poker Face

  Jax did exactly as Josh had predicted. Josh dodged left and Jax went for the kill, with everything he had. Unfortunately he aimed it all right, expecting Josh to dart right into the line of fire. Josh kept boosting left, putting as much distance between him and the lasers as he could. The Behemoth had clearly been specced to face the Contemptor, with a higher ratio of heavy laser turrets, which would have made short work of the slower-moving mech. That was exactly what Josh had been hoping for. There was still a smattering of missile silos and mortars, but certainly nowhere near as many as if Jax thought he would be facing a lowly Ticket Buster.

  The trick now was to exploit the recharge times on the turrets and never stop moving. Josh varied his speed, running and then boosting, before changing direction. He wanted to make it as hard as possible for Jax to target him with his massive arsenal. That was where part two of the plan came into play. There were far fewer weapon slots on the back of the Behemoth, likely because no mech was ever expected to survive long enough to get around the back. Jax realized this too and tried to turn the Behemoth around, but it was weighed down with weapons and was too large and lumbering to spin. Josh was careful to always stay behind it; he could boost faster than Jax could turn, so as long as he paid attention and didn’t get caught up he could minimize the number of turrets pointing at him. It was still a lot of turrets, but Josh had to use every small advantage he could find to improve his chances.

  As Jax tried to bring the rest of his turrets around Josh boosted again. He yelled, “Booster fuel level?”

  Within expected tolerances. 78%. Another wave of projectiles is incoming.

  “I’m ready for it.”

  Jax tried to mix up his tactics. Instead of firing all the turrets at once, he staggered them, trying to catch the Ticket Buster off guard. Josh jumped over a shot, then double jumped over the next. Jax was ready to catch the Ticket Buster as it landed, and fired four different turrets at possible landing spots, but Josh didn’t land. Instead he hovered. It was insanely expensive fuel-wise, but it meant that Jax had to target him on all 3 axes. Jax mistakenly thought that Josh could only go up or down, but as he fired another volley Josh strafed in the air, before cutting off the boosters and dropping back to the arena floor.

  A batch of missiles erupted from somewhere around the front of the mech, and lazily looped around to fly at the Ticket Buster. Josh laughed. “Nice try, buddy, but your missiles aren’t fast enough to catch us.” He waited until they were closer and then boosted away, being careful to stay just ahead of them. Turrets tried to predict where Josh was going to be, but Jax couldn’t keep up. Josh darted between the Behemoth’s legs and whooped as the missiles crashed into one of them.

  Jax completely lost any sense of a strategy. He launched everything he had, missiles and mortars galore. The floor became a roiling mass of molten fire, so Josh played a literal game of the floor is lava. He jumped and hovered again, his booster jets burning brightly.

  “Fuel?”

  Down to 52%. The back canisters are empty.

  “I know, I was saving them for this.”

  Eight missiles sped toward the mid-air Ticket Buster, and Josh propelled it straight up like a rocket ship, before ejecting both the back canisters. They tumbled to the arena and the missiles switched their tracking to the fast-moving objects, obliterating the canisters in an orange fireball.

  Josh stared anxiously at the arena floor, willing the flames to die down. He couldn’t stay in the air like this. It would seriously limit how long he’d be able to stay alive, and if Jax figured that out then it would be game over.

  “Fuel!” he said, dreading the answer.

  22% and falling first. You must land soon, if you fall from the sky he will know you are out of booster fuel.

  “I’m pretty sure he will figure that out when he finally hits me with a turret.” Josh said.

  This was starting to get close to the wire. He’d already expected the fight to be over by now. Were the Galactic Corp really this stubborn?

  “How long has the trial been so far?”

  2 minutes and 36 seconds.

  “So the Galactic Corp have spent at least…” He tried to do the maths and gave up, “A boatload.”

  Correct. They must really want to win this trial.

  “Jax must have realized by now what this trial was costing.The trillion credit question is, how much does he want to win it?”

  Movement in his peripheral caught his eye, but he didn’t dare take his eyes off the fight. Frag thought, I can take a peek. Josh stayed focused on the battle, while his other eye went for a quick spin all by itself. It glanced at the dignitaries’ booth and Frag thought, Wow, they are really really not happy in there. The Galactic Corp Board of Directors are up in arms. They are banging against the glass.

  That sounded promising. They were slowly realizing that Jax was never going to hit Josh while he had boosters. The question was, could they do the math quick enough to figure out the max capacity of his booster fuel?

  “How much fuel?” Josh asked, for what he hoped was the last time.

  7%. If we continue boosting, we will run out in the next 13 seconds.

  “I can’t exactly stand still!”

  Josh started the countdown in his head. What was going to give first, his booster fuel, or the Galactic Corp’s wallet? He was playing chicken with a giant corporation, with millions of lives as collateral damage.

  He dodged another volley of laser fire. Jax had given up trying to turn the Behemoth around and was now just taking pot shots, hoping to land a lucky hit. Every shot added to the tab, and the bill was coming due.

  The viewer above the arena switched to the live view of Josh in the lawyer’s booth. He was calm, collected, and smiling. It was the face of a man who could and would do this all day. There was no indication that he had mere secon
ds to live.

  When the viewer switched to Jax it told a very different story. He was yelling at someone off-screen. Then a black-clad hand reached across, and pushed a button.

  The Behemoth fell still, the turrets drooping and the legs swaying. Then Josh got the message he had been waiting for.

  “The Galactic Corp concedes the trial. Blurgon are the victors.”

  The arena erupted. Josh stared at his tiny, insignificant Ticket Buster and said, “How much?”

  3%.

  “Let’s never tell anyone that, agreed?”

  Agreed.

  As soon as Josh opened his booth, the noise hit him. It was that of pure elation, of millions of people getting out from under a terrible boss and heading straight to the nearest pub. They were finally free of the Galactic Corp.

  He slipped his game controller back into his bag, removed the tie from his head, and threw the backpack over his shoulder. He had done it. He had beaten the ultimate boss, and he hadn’t even fired a single shot.

  Josh made his way back down and across to the dignitaries’ suite. No-one tried to stop him; the guards were too busy partying. He strolled across to the large double doors and casually pushed them open.

  The scene in the room was very different than the one he had seen earlier. There was a lot of shouting and finger-pointing from the Galactic Corp board. The High Command didn’t even have fingers, but they floated just a little more smugly than they did before. The only one that didn’t share their excitement was the Teacher. He twitched nervously in the corner, as if waiting for a chance to escape. Shift was also present, but she was back in her shell. She waved at him sheepishly, and he waved back.

  With a loud thud, Jax burst into the room. His uniform was bedraggled and his movements were erratic. He was a man on the edge. He saw Josh and went straight for him. Josh held out his hand. “Good game.”

  Jax slapped it away. “You cheated! You switched mechs at the last second.”

  “Oh really? And how exactly would you know that, unless you knew what mech I was supposed to field?”