Demon Disgrace

by M. J. Haag

  Demon Disgrace

  M.J. Haag

  Copyright © 2020 Melissa Haag

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  All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise without express written permission from the author.

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  ISBN 978-1-943051-58-8 (eBook Edition)

  ISBN 978-1-943051-62-5 (Paperback Edition)

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  The characters and events in this book are fictitious. Any similarities to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author.

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  Editing by Ulva Eldridge

  Cover design by Shattered Glass Publishing LLC

  © Depositphotos.com

  Version 2020.10.14

  Contents

  Blurb

  What has happened before…

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Chapter 22

  Chapter 23

  Chapter 24

  Chapter 25

  Chapter 26

  Chapter 27

  Chapter 28

  Chapter 29

  Chapter 30

  Epilogue

  Author’s Note

  DEMON DISGRACE

  * * *

  Everyone lives a lie.

  * * *

  It replays in my head, the moment of my greatest shame. I'll never escape it. With an exhale, I let go of everything. I fall endlessly, waiting for the sudden stop. Hell would be a welcome respite.

  A hollow husk of the woman she used to be, Hannah hides from her pain with any alcohol she can find. She’s bleeding out from wounds no one sees. No one but Merdon, a dark fey with a violent history of his own, who’s determined to keep her from the one thing she wants most. Death.

  * * *

  She doesn’t understand why he cares about her or her addiction. It’s not like he’s nice to her. Yet, he’s relentless in his determination to show her there’s something to live for. If she can find a way through the pain she might just see what Merdon already knows: Second chances are rare.

  To everyone struggling,

  You can overcome.

  You’re not as alone as you feel.

  What has happened before…

  More than two months ago, earthquakes unleashed hellhounds on an unsuspecting mankind. The bite of a hound changes humans, turning people into flesh-craving infected.

  The hellhounds weren’t the only things to emerge from the earthen caverns. Demon men with grey skin and reptilian eyes have been trapped underground for thousands of years. They alone can kill the hellhounds and help bring a stop to the plague. They only ask for one thing in return: a chance to meet women who might be willing to love them as they are.

  Chapter One

  I stood under the hot spray of the shower and let myself imagine a lie. In my lie, the world wasn’t irrevocably changed. The steaming water raining down on me wasn’t due to the solar panels on the roof but the work of a perfectly functioning utility grid. And, at any moment now, my sister would pound on the door to demand that I stop hogging the bathroom and the hot water.

  I could almost hear her yelling, “Hannah,” as she drew out the last syllable of my name.

  Pain pierced my middle. The world I’d once known was gone, and I struggled to endure the reality that persisted. There was no reliable utility grid. There was no sister. The dregs of humanity that remained huddled in fear of the black dogs with glowing red eyes and the infected that wanted to eat us alive. Fear was just part of life now, and yesterday had proved that death always waited just two heartbeats away.

  Lovely reality.

  I turned off the water and went through the motions of getting ready for the day as if I had somewhere to go. Jeans paired with a cute top. It was an outfit I would have loved wearing before the earthquakes. Now, along with most everything else, I hated it. None of what I put on was mine. Like all the people in Tolerance, I wore what had been collected from the homes the fey searched for supplies. Remnants and reminders from those already claimed by this new reality of fear and death.

  And sacrifice.

  So much sacrifice. How much more would we need to give before the infected and the hounds were dead?

  With a bitter tilt forming at the corner of my mouth, I recalled the tiny ember of hope that had flared to life the moment the fey had appeared. That hope had begun to fade when I realized a simple truth. There were too many hounds and infected out there. And those creatures that craved human flesh would continue to return, day after day, relentless in their determination to kill us all. Yesterday’s breach had proved that. It had also extinguished any remaining hint of hope.

  I already knew the end of humanity’s story, and it wasn’t pretty. It would be filled with fear, blood, and death. What then was the point of the continual struggle to exist?

  With trembling fingers, I combed through my drying blonde curls then left the bathroom. Downstairs, Emily moved around in the kitchen.

  “You look like you didn’t sleep well,” she said, noticing me. “Me neither. I couldn’t stop seeing yesterday.” She lifted the bowl of mush she was stirring. “I’m making dog food meatloaf for Merdon as a thank you. Want to help?”

  With a shuddering look at the pinkish mash, I shook my head and fetched my morning glass. The cupboard above the stove didn’t have much of a selection anymore. I was down to vodka. Not my drink of choice, but it would do. The last three fingers from the bottle looked pathetic in my cup. More so after I took a large swallow.

  “I still can’t believe how Merdon came out of nowhere like that,” Emily continued. “I mean, I know the fey move fast, but he was almost a blur. Without him there...” She shook her head and flipped the mush into a pan.

  I tipped back the rest of the vodka, trying to drown out the memories. It didn’t work. Images from the day before, breach day, flooded my mind.

  Hordes of infected had gotten in and stormed the streets of our supposed safe haven. A woman with a huge chunk of her cheek missing had run straight toward Emily and me. Had it not been for Merdon, Emily and I wouldn’t be in the kitchen now. We’d be a headless mass of decaying corpses tossed out in the trees somewhere.

  The thought didn’t upset me. After all, that was where we’d end up at some point. What did upset me was another day of the struggle to exist. If not for Merdon, I’d already be at peace.

  Another sharp pang of regret and loss pierced me, and I set the empty glass on the counter to double-check the cupboards.

  “This is going to take a while to bake,” Emily said, sliding the dogloaf into the oven. “Want to go check on James and Mary with me? They’d probably appreciate the company after yesterday.”

  “They’re going to want to recap what happened. I’ll pass.” Frustrated with the lack of alcohol, I closed the cupboard door and faced Emily.

  “I think we should have another get-together. To celebrate the lives of those we lost,” I added so I wouldn’t sound insensitive.

  She tipped her head, studying me.

  “I’ve been with you for months now, Hannah. I know you better than anyone else. I see the way your hand is shaking. You’re not ok
ay. Is it because of yesterday, or did you have another bad night?”

  I fisted my hands and sat on the kitchen stool.

  “Both,” I admitted. “Last night was the worst yet.” My gaze darted to the cupboards. I needed to keep better track of our alcohol stock. How had we run so low?

  “And what happened yesterday didn’t help,” Emily said in soft understanding.

  Of all the people who’d been in that RV with me, she’d been the only one who hadn’t found another roommate when we’d arrived here. James and Mary, the older couple who’d been in the RV with us, had a reason to need their own place. Oldness. While our group had been together, the couple hadn’t complained about my nightmares or my screaming, which made them okay. Just not today.

  I moved to the door and slipped into my coat and boots as I spoke.

  “You should go check on James and Mary. I’ll walk around and see who might be interested in coming over.”

  “Okay, but stress that we’re asking for more than just alcohol. And spread the word that anyone without food should arrive after dark. I’ll see if any of the other girls want to join us.”

  I waved in acknowledgment and quickly left.

  Outside, evidence of the day before painted the trampled snow red in places. The few swallows of vodka sitting in my stomach hadn’t even come close to dulling my senses enough to unsee the reminder of the devastation. The screams echoed in my head.

  Don’t think about it. I plastered a happy smile on my face and started making my way around the neighborhood. Just make it through today, and you’ll be fine.

  Keeping my eyes off the bloodied ground, I waved to the fey I knew, which were most of them, and paused to talk to the ones who’d provided what I needed in the past.

  “Hey, Fyllo. Any chance you still have some of that scotch left? We’re having another get-together tonight.”

  “I gave you the last one. But there is another bottle like it that I could bring. It’s new.”

  Since the fey couldn’t read, the bottle could be anything from fancy cooking oil to sparkling grape juice.

  “Nope. Nothing new unless it’s tested ahead of time,” I said, pretending to look upset by the news. “If you have a roast or something, that could work, too. Emily wants someone to bring something edible. But only one person. We don’t want to waste food by making too much.”

  He blinked at me, a common quirk the fey all seemed to share when they were deciding how to respond.

  “I have no meat. I do have cheese toes.”

  “We’ll pass on the junk food. Maybe you’ll find something that meets the requirements before tonight,” I hinted. “You know what I like.”

  He nodded thoughtfully then took off at a jog toward the wall.

  What I liked and what Emily liked were two different things. We’d agreed to set food and booze as the price of an invitation to our little gatherings. She thought the fey brought mostly booze because they knew I liked it, which I did, not because it was the sole item I encouraged.

  Watching Fyllo go, I exhaled slowly and kept my smile in place. Hopefully, he’d find a bottle of something good and not a stupid roast.

  I continued along the sidewalk until I saw Tor and waved for him to join me. He was always good for something liquid.

  “Just the fey I wanted to see,” I said with a smile that hurt my face.

  He smiled in return, showing his pointed teeth.

  “Hello, Hannah. Why did you want to see me?”

  “Emily and I are having a get-together tonight, and I sure could use some of that brandy you found.”

  He nodded.

  “I’ve been saving it for this,” he said. “We can play your games, and I will win a kiss.”

  “You got it, big guy.” I winked and waved goodbye.

  The moment I turned my back to him, my well-known, thousand-watt smile dimmed. There was no way I was going to kiss anyone tonight. “Stage five clinger” didn’t even come close to describing the level of clingy, needy infatuation mouth to mouth contact could elicit from a fey. I’d long ago drawn the line at hair touching and friendly hugs. Even that tended to create cleedy fey.

  Mentally cringing away from the memory of the one time I’d offered more to one of the fey, I looked around for my next target. Movement to the side caught my attention, and I met Merdon’s steady gaze as he emerged from between two houses.

  Unlike the rest of the fey, I didn’t know this one well and had no interest in changing that. I didn’t care that he’d been shunned by the rest of his kind or that he and his friend, Thallirin, had killed more hellhounds between them than the rest of the fey put together. My apathy toward this fey lay in my inability to read him.

  Merdon never smiled. Ever. No matter what wattage I threw his way.

  He stopped moving and just…watched me. Something he’d been doing a lot since he’d witnessed the one time I’d suggested more than a friendly hug. Hearing me offer to have Shax’s baby and Shax’s rejection had probably given Merdon ideas that I was up for grabs. Not now. Not ever again.

  I sighed at the tiny bubble of regret that welled up at the thought of what I’d lost. Shax would have brought me anything for just a touch. Granted, he was also why I had the no kissing rule. Just one stupid kiss, and he’d been annoyingly obsessed with me. In hindsight, I wished I would have appreciated his willingness to do anything for me while I’d had his attention. When his interest had turned to someone else, I’d lost my most reliable source of alcohol. I didn’t begrudge him Angel, though. If people could be happy in this shit-show of a world, more power to them.

  That level of blind ignorance wasn’t for me. And neither was acquiring another love-struck fool.

  Looking away from Merdon, I continued walking. He’d wander away again. He always did. He probably stared because he’d never seen a blonde with my level of curls before. Yet, his behavior yesterday niggled at my mind for half a second before I dismissed it. Any fey would have rushed to save us. They were all girl-hungry like that. I told myself that Merdon’s conveniently close proximity and his timely intervention weren’t an indication of another saran-man in the making.

  He was just another protective fey trying to get close. Like Shax.

  I forced away my regret at losing Shax and fixed my signature happy-Hannah expression on my face while I looked for my next target.

  Several other fey stopped to talk to me as I made a slow loop around Tolerance. I let them know the price of admission to that night’s party, stressing we only needed one roast for the evening. It seemed that word had already spread because there were far too many offers to bring food. The last thing I wanted was all meat and no booze.

  After having spoken to a dozen fey, I knew news of the party would continue to spread, and by nightfall, we’d have a decent showing. Tired of pretending to be happy, I headed home before the sun even reached its zenith.

  Emily was still gone when I let myself in. No surprise there, given who she’d gone to visit. I kicked off my shoes and looked around the house for something to do. There was far too much time until the party, and idleness was my worst enemy.

  A fey passed by one of the side windows on his way through our yard.

  The image of the first infected I’d ever seen clouded my mind, pulling me under, drowning me in a memory. Like the fey just now, the infected had shuffled past the window. I could vividly recall his whiskered profile and the way the light had glinted oddly in his eye, making it look milky white.

  I tried not to remember the moment the familiar face turned, and I’d seen the flap of scalp dangling over the bloody patch that should have been his ear. He’d looked in the window, but after a beat, he’d turned and continued his shamble through our yard.

  That was the last time I’d seen my father. He’d gone outside to see whose dog was running loose. In hindsight, I now knew it hadn’t been a dog but a hellhound.

  Releasing a shuddering breath, I moved away from the windows and went to search the cupboards aga
in, hoping I’d overlooked a bottle. I wasn’t that lucky. I never was.

  Hands shaking, I fluffed my hair and started for the door. Some fey out there had to have something. A knock sounded before I reached the front entrance. I hurried to answer and smiled at Fyllo as he held up two bottles. As I’d guessed, one was garlic and rosemary-infused oil. The other bottle, though, had me extending a hand.

  He surrendered the sherry and watched me open it and take a long drink.

  “Will that work for tonight?” he asked.

  “It sure will. You’re officially in, but Emily said no one should come before dark. I’ll just hold onto it until then, okay?”

  He nodded and smiled. I gave a quick smile in return, closed the door on him, then did my best to drown the memories in sherry.

  The door opened, pulling me from my semi-stupor.

  “Hey, Hannah,” Emily called. “I brought goodies from Mary.”

  I sat up from my comfortably prone position on the couch and dutifully looked at Emily, who was holding up a plate of baked goods.

  Merdon closed the door behind her and met my gaze.

  “A stray followed you in,” I said, not paying any attention to the food she carried.

  “Be nice,” she said with a laugh. “I told you I was making dinner for Merdon.” She glanced back at the fey. “Shoes off at the door, please. You can hang your jacket on the hooks there.”