Demon Disgrace

by M. J. Haag

  “I just hate when they go off on their own.”

  “Who?” I asked.

  “Thallirin and Merdon.”

  “Where did they go? Merdon was pretty close-mouthed about it all.”

  “I don’t know. Thallirin just said they were going to hunt.”

  “They are looking for infected,” Shax said.

  “Yeah, Mya and Ryan were talking about how it’s not natural for us to be infected-free for so long, especially when the traps Ryan’s been encountering during his supply runs are growing worse,” Eden said.

  “Worse how?” I asked.

  “The infected are hiding in places, waiting for the group to split up, trying to take out the trucks so the humans can’t leave. Stuff like that,” Brenna said. “It was intense before I took a break from it. I can’t imagine what it’s like now.” She looked troubled for a minute. “When Thallirin’s back, I might go on a few more supply runs just to see.”

  I couldn’t help but look at her like she was crazy.

  “Why on earth would you want to do that? You just said it was worse.”

  “That’s exactly why. I’d rather leave the protection of the wall on my terms, and know what the state of the world is, than try to hide from it and have the truth forced on me.”

  “Like breach day,” I said.

  “Exactly.”

  While her logic made sense, the idea of willingly stepping outside the walls still made my insides quiver. There was so much out there. And, Merdon and Thallirin had just run off into it by themselves.

  “Do you think they’ll be okay?” I asked.

  “You both have nothing to worry about,” Angel said. “Thallirin and Merdon are survivors and will be just fine.”

  “Less talking and more practicing,” Shax said, looking pointedly at me.

  “Why didn’t Shax go with them?” I asked after sticking my tongue out at him.

  “He’s afraid of missing the pez dispenser action,” Angel said, patting her belly. “This will be the first birth ever for the fey.”

  “That’s still weeks off, right?” Brenna asked.

  “Yep. But Shax’s still worried. We’ve talked to Cassie all about the birthing plan, which will probably include him breaking down their door, pulling Cassie from her bed, getting hit in the face by Kerr for touching Cassie, Cassie’s kids screaming in terror at the commotion, and me giving birth all by myself.”

  “I will be calm, my Angel,” Shax said. “I swear.”

  Angel looked at us with an instigating smile.

  “He’s totally going to be a fainter.”

  Eden sniggered.

  “That’s why I’ve okayed a few other fey to be there. If we can manage to summon Cassie in a reasonable manner, she’s going to leave the kids under fey watch and bring Kerr with her. Shax gets to choose one other fey to witness the actual delivery.”

  “Three guys watching you give birth?” Eden asked. “Bless your heart.”

  Angel just grinned wider. “You know how they share information. I don’t want to rob them of a chance to learn what getting a girl knocked up means.”

  “Good idea. Maybe they’ll stop wanting to knock up all the ladies when they see what it’s really like,” Brenna said.

  “Be sure to scream and swear,” I added.

  Angel’s smile lost a little of its luster.

  “You guys are making me nervous. Let’s focus on practicing.”

  Without Merdon, I didn’t push myself as hard. I still shot well, but I declined to use the knife dummy. The only thing I couldn’t take it easy on was the hand to hand because Eden and Brenna wouldn’t let me.

  “I like Angel as a partner better,” I said after landing on my back.

  “Don’t be a baby,” Brenna said, extending her hand. “I need someone I can toss so I can practice that move you pulled on me.”

  “Then pick on Eden.”

  “She already did,” Eden called from the sidelines.

  Noon couldn’t come fast enough. When everyone agreed it was time to call it quits and head home for lunch, I grabbed my bow and jogged to the house.

  “Honey, I’m home,” I said, opening the door.

  “Good. I think I have everything ready. While you eat, look this over.”

  She set the sheet of paper she’d been reading next to the plate on the counter. Hungry, I didn’t need to be told twice. I kicked off my shoes and hurried to my ham and cheese sandwich with extra mayo and sprouts.

  “Seriously, how did you get sprouts?” I asked around a mouthful of sandwich. “This is fantastic. I didn’t realize how much I was missing fresh green stuff.”

  “I’ve been spending a lot of time in the supply shed and noticed a bag of seeds that was labeled sprouting seeds.”

  “Sprouting seeds? What’s that mean?”

  “It means they’re seeds specifically meant for eating just like that.”

  “So like bean sprouts.”

  “I won’t bore you with the kind—”

  “You’re afraid I’ll stop eating it. What is it?” I asked, talking over her.

  “—but I will tell you it’s good for you. So keep eating.”

  We had a stare off, which she won because the sandwich was that good, and I didn’t want to stop eating it even if I was consuming something weird.

  “How much more of this stuff is there?” I asked, finished with my first half.

  “Mary and I only grew a small batch. We figured we’re probably going to need all the seeds to set up food plots when the weather turns. But we have enough for me to use a little to test out some recipes.”

  “So, you’re thinking of sandwiches for your dinners?”

  “That’s why you’re eating one. Does the flavor make up for the lack of fancy?”

  I slowly chewed my bite then nodded.

  “I think it does, but you need to make sure you’re serving it to someone who likes greens. You know how fussy people can be.” I added that bit with a grin because I knew she’d found me fussy a time or two.

  “If you like it, I think most everyone else will. But you have just given me an idea. I should probably include the menus of what we’ll be serving. It might help anyone who’s having second thoughts.”

  I shrugged and continued eating my sandwich, happy to let her think through the pitfalls while I reaped the benefits. When I was finished, I went upstairs to shower and change then helped carry supplies to Mary and James’s place. Emily talked the whole way, mostly worrying about what to do if Mila decided not to show, or how she could help with conversation if things felt stifled.

  “You worry too much,” I said when we were just about there. “It’ll be fine.”

  “I hope so.”

  The kitchen was deadly quiet. Both Mary and Emily had one ear to the kitchen door so they could hear what was going on in the dining room. The gesture wasn’t necessary.

  I could hear the soft murmur of conversation coming from the other room. While it flowed easily enough, the casual discussion circling the weather made it hard to know how Mila felt about Newaz.

  Emily straightened, disappointment tugging at her features.

  “They aren’t using the cards,” she whispered.

  “The cards are a little personal,” I said. “If you want things to get to that level, you need more wine.”

  She gave me a worried glance.

  “Not for me. For Mila. Tipsy frees inhibitions, and you’re not going to make an alcoholic of her in one night. Look how a little spontaneity helped Farco with Cheri. You know Mila will be fine.”

  Emily looked at Mary.

  The old woman made a face.

  “Don’t look at me to say no. I’m all for whatever will get that poor guy laid faster.”

  I choked on my laughter even as Emily sighed and grabbed the bottle of wine from the table.

  “Just leave it out there,” I whispered.

  She nodded and left. As soon as the door closed behind her, Mary focused on me. Since arriv
ing to help, she’d slowly forgiven me for publicly laying into Merdon and had even started asking all sorts of questions about my relationship with him. The top winning question had been if I’d seen his jumbo-sized feybymaker yet.

  “You should clog the drains on all the other bathrooms but yours. Then, when he’s in there taking a shower, just pop in like you hadn’t heard him.

  “I’m not breaking things so I can sneak a peek. It’s not like we have a plumber on speed dial.”

  “Hmm. Good point. You might just have to go with the direct approach and ask him to show you his happy stick.”

  “I thought it was a rolling pin.”

  “Oh, it’ll be many things to you if you use it right.”

  “I think I understand why James chose to spend the evening in the basement.”

  Mary snorted.

  “He’s had fey over for days, helping him turn that into a sanctuary. He can’t even make it up and down the stairs on his own. I don’t know why he bothered.”

  “Probably so the fey you keep peeking at have a more private place to stay.”

  She looked thoughtfully at the basement door, and I could have sworn I heard, “someone’s getting a spanking tonight.” I really hoped, for Mila’s sanity, she drained the bottle before Newaz left.

  Emily reentered the kitchen, her hands moving nervously.

  “I think Mila’s bored,” she whispered.

  “I’ll give Newaz the signal that it’s time to offer a face ride,” Mary said, starting for the door. Both Emily and I made a mad grab for her.

  “A what?” Emily asked.

  “A face ride. Apparently, one of the fey overheard a conversation where one of the girls said someone should ride a fey’s face like a horse until the girl was screaming the fey’s name. Newaz wasn’t sure what that meant, so I explained it to him. He’s very willing. Not with me, of course.”

  I wanted to curl up into the fetal position on the floor for so many reasons. Foremost, was the image of Mary sitting on anyone’s face. Second, was knowing it’d been my conversation with Angel that had caused this mental anguish.

  “If you need to drink tonight,” I said to Emily, “I’ll understand.”

  She made a pained sound and steered Mary to a kitchen chair.

  “You stay right there.”

  “Fine, but things would move along faster if he—”

  “Mary, we’re also trying to change perceptions, not just match people up. If the fey start propositioning during these meals, no one would ever volunteer to attend the next one.”

  “Or maybe they all would.”

  “Not everyone has your drive.”

  Mary gave Emily a considering look.

  “Is that why you haven’t settled on a fey? Because you have a low drive? You should consider doing a little self-discovery to get your motor going. I heard some of the dildos missed the burn pile.”

  Emily’s shocked gaze swung to me.

  “Don’t look at me to jump in and save you. You’ve pimped me out to rolling pin man. Have at her, Mary.”

  “Hannah,” Emily hissed as Mary chuckled with glee.

  I shrugged.

  “It’s only fair that it’s your turn.”

  Emily crossed her arms and gave Mary and me the same steely look.

  “I started this with a single goal. To help the fey and humans live together more harmoniously because we’re all that’s left. If people couple up, that’s great. It’ll only help my goal. Until I see that goal come to fruition, I refuse to put my own wants first. That includes any kind of romantic relationship with a fey or a human. Now, stay focused. Both of you get started on dessert. We can’t draw these meals out forever.”

  Mary got up to help me at the stove and leaned close to whisper, “Add a little extra brandy to the brandy sauce. I think Emily will need to sample it twice.”

  I snorted and stirred.

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  “Thanks for your help tonight,” Emily said, closing the door behind us.

  I hung up my jacket and nodded. Both our moods were a bit dejected. Hers because of the epic failure of tonight’s dinner. Mine because a long night stretched in front of me with no Merdon to distract me from my thoughts.

  “Do you want to watch a movie?” I asked.

  “I think I’m going to soak in a lavender bath and read for a bit.” She started for the stairs.

  “They won’t all be insta-attractions, you know. Heck, most of the fey-human couples that are together now started out not liking each other. Don’t write off Mila and Newaz yet.”

  She glanced back at me with a tremulous smile.

  “Thanks. I hope you’re right. I just thought for sure they’d hit it off. Their personalities are so similar.”

  “Maybe you need to go for opposites.”

  “Maybe. G’night.”

  With a growing sense of desperation, I watched her leave. Nights were never easy, but I realized how all the time in the basement had made them bearable because of sheer exhaustion. What was I supposed to do now? I looked around the room then at the door.

  As quietly as possible, I put on my shoes and jacket and slipped outside.

  “Anyone out here?” I called softly.

  Tor stepped from the shadows and jogged my way.

  “Are you sad, Hannah?”

  “Sad? No. I just have too much energy. Are you out here because Merdon asked?”

  Tor gave me a wary look.

  “Will that make you angry?”

  “Depends on why he asked you to watch the house.”

  “He said to make sure you were safe.”

  “Did he say something about me being sad?”

  “When you’re sad, you want to hurt yourself.”

  I looked off into the night, not angry at Merdon exactly but definitely frustrated.

  “If he knew I might get sad, why did he leave?”

  I was thinking out loud more than asking Tor, but he answered anyway.

  “I would not have left you, Hannah. Even if you did try to bite me and hurt my testicles.”

  I scoffed.

  “I didn’t hurt his testicles.”

  “Twice,” Tor said. “But it was still a touch, so it was not all bad.”

  I shook my head at him. The fey were twisted in so many ways.

  “I was thinking I’d go for a run. Will you come with me?” I asked.

  “Why do you want to run?”

  “I’m hoping it’ll use up some of this energy and tire me out enough to fall asleep. Plus, it’s good to be able to run more than ten feet without gasping for air, you know?”

  I regretted those words two blocks later as I leaned over to brace my hands on my knees and panted for air.

  “That was much farther than ten feet. You are doing so well, Hannah.”

  I rolled my eyes and wished I had the strength to knock him down.

  “I knew I should have been there,” Angel said. She looked off into the distance. “Do you think Mila is still at Mary’s? Maybe I should go and talk to her now.”

  I shook my head while stifling a yawn and watched Eden practice her stance and draw.

  “I doubt it. She wasn’t too keen on spending the night last night, despite a full bottle of wine, and was pretty adamant that she wanted to leave as early as possible.”

  “Not with Newaz, though?”

  “No. She asked if another fey could carry her home. She was nice about it, saying she knew they all wanted a chance to help females.”

  “Help?”

  “Yep. Her words.”

  Angel sighed. “It’s not about being helpful; it’s about having a chance to impress them and spend time with them. Seriously, when are the people over there going to wake up and see that?”

  “I think, on some level, they already know. They just don’t want to acknowledge it.”

  “The dinners aren’t enough, then. We need to do more.”

  “Like what?”

  “Are you two going to sp
end the whole time talking, or are you actually going to try to improve some skills?” Brenna asked.

  “Hold onto your tights, Robin Hood,” Angel said, already waddling forward. “Your merry women need breathers.”

  “Breathers or snack breaks?” Brenna asked.

  Since Angel had just finished a single serving sized bag of chips, Brenna and I both knew the answer to that question. At least, for Angel. The break suited me for other reasons.

  Even after all the running around I’d done with Tor, who’d been a great sport about it, I’d still had a hard time falling asleep last night. I hadn’t realized how aware of or comforted I’d been by Merdon’s once obtrusive presence until it was gone. His absence had crawled into my dreams, twisting the memories into a hopeless cycle that had woken me twice before I gave up the pretense of sleeping.

  I stifled another yawn and stepped forward to take my turn at the lumpy, rainbow target.

  We worked on archery for a bit then switched to the knives and hand to hand when more fey started to gather. With so many shouting out tips and encouraging us to move faster and work harder, sweat coated my upper lip and exhaustion had me watching the progress of the sun.

  While I wanted nothing more than a nap, I knew I wouldn’t give in to one when I got home. I just hoped all the practice would pay off later tonight.

  We called it quits just before lunch.

  “My arms feel like they’re going to fall off,” I said to Eden.

  She agreed with a groan. “Whose dumb idea was it for me to join fight club?”

  “Yours,” I said with a laugh. “At least you have someone at home willing to rub your aches.”

  “Yeah,” Brenna agreed. “I’d kill for a massage right now.”

  There were a few startled looks from the fey.

  “She doesn’t mean that literally,” Eden said.

  “No,” Angel said, looking thoughtful. “But it’s a great idea.”

  “Um, you think killing someone for a massage is—”

  “Not that. Getting massages. We’re lucky because we have fey willing to rub us down whenever we want. There are a lot of other people out there who aren’t so lucky.”

  I knew where her mind was going.

  “I volunteer as a sacrifice,” I said quickly. Anything that required my time helped keep my mind from dwelling where it shouldn’t. And if I happened to relax while doing it? Well, that was just a bonus. Especially if I could arrange for the practice massage just before bed.