Fortune’s Final Folly

by McKnight, Christina

  A bit of the adoration she’d carried in her heart all these years slipped away.

  To make everything even more confusing, and with her destitute future looming, Henry had brought word that the previous Duke and Duchess of Shrewbury had both passed away—long before Kate’s parents. Their heir was not thought to be in England for contact, and for reasons unknown to the servants at Shrewbury Gardens, he hadn’t returned to his family home in nearly twenty years. Joshua’s assistant had returned from Oxfordshire emptyhanded.

  A part of her wondered if she’d been stripped of her ability to find closure at all.

  There were answers to be found, somewhere, and Kate was certain it had to do with far more than simply the reasoning behind the mysterious bank deposit and stipend. Had her mother and father resided at Shrewbury before coming to London with her as an infant?

  The amount was an exorbitant price to pay a mere vicar and his wife, even if they’d been a part of Shrewbury’s staff for generations.

  It was more than many in Cheapside earned in their entire life.

  And why had her parents come to Cheapside when they could have spent the money on a small cottage in the country and escaped the harsh conditions of the city?

  Kate halted, not realizing she’d begun to pace in the room that had quickly begun to feel like her very own after only several days, from the wall of windows to the hearth and then back toward the door. Despite everything that weighed on her, she’d slept soundly each night and had awoken the next morning ready to teach again and assist with her building’s renovations.

  But this was, by far, her largest problem.

  She knew living with Joshua, traveling to Cheapside with him, and teaching in his office were not long-term solutions. Their brief, intimate moment in the file room aside, he was likely being kind to her because he’d known her parents. He was being generous in helping her repair the schoolroom because he was not so crass as to throw a woman onto the streets or deny students an education. He’d rescued her, brought her to his home, and he was without recourse to make her leave.

  There was no other explanation for his continued kindness.

  Even as the thoughts flooded her with doubt, Kate suspected Joshua’s attention and help were not only from kindness. Their connection, while still a new thing Kate was only beginning to comprehend, was undeniable. Sometimes, at their meals, she caught him staring at her when he thought she didn’t notice. There were times Kate felt more herself, more whole because Joshua was by her side. She hadn’t realized something was missing from her life. But now, after her time with Joshua, she knew she would lose a piece of herself if he were gone. Everything about him brought the security Kate had been lacking.

  A light knock sounded at the door.

  Kate pressed her palms to her heated cheeks, hoping they were not as red as she feared. She sent a small prayer heavenward that she hadn’t been reduced to tears.

  The knock sounded once more, this time with a bit more urgency.

  It was likely Dolly come to collect what needed to be laundered. It still made Kate uncomfortable to send her garments to a laundress when she was perfectly capable of washing and hanging them to dry herself. Even during the particularly short period when they had extra coin to hire a woman to cook for them, Kate had always washed her own gowns and underpinnings in boiling water with hard-packed soap that her mother had bartered for, and then hung them outside her parents’ window that faced the back alley. Depending on the weather, it could take days for a gown to properly dry, but Joshua’s servants took her worn gowns, stockings, and gloves and returned them by the next morning. The notion that a servant was made to work while Kate slept increased her sense of guilt over the situation. Having another see to her needs was a concept Kate had yet to accept. It had always been Kate helping others.

  And now to have Joshua and his servants currying to her needs? It was difficult, if not impossible for Kate to accept.

  “Enter.” Kate collected her stained gloves and took in the hem of her gown. The sturdy cotton had collected some filth from her afternoon in the schoolroom but would suffice for another wearing before it needed cleaning. Besides, she only planned to work again tomorrow. “Good evening, Dolly.” She kept her back to the door, not yet at ease with the elderly woman’s gentleness in both tone and manner. “I think I shall forgo any washing this evening.”

  Kate hurriedly tucked her gloves into the pockets of her dark cloak to hide the soot-marred fabric.

  A deep chuckle rumbled from the doorway.

  She pivoted, her cheeks growing ever warmer when she saw Joshua standing outside her open door. Yet, hadn’t she dreamt of just such an occurrence on more than one occasion?

  “My lord,” Kate exclaimed. “My apologies. I thought it was—”

  “Dolly, mayhap?” His smirk made him appear years younger than he actually was, but also belied the awkwardness of his presence in her personal space. “And if you insist on turning away Dolly’s treasured duties, it would be best to accept my offer to purchase you a few gowns. I’ve seen how tirelessly you’ve been working, and the destruction it is wreaking havoc on your attire. I mean—” He cleared his throat, the humor leaving his tone. “If you would be willing to agree to my offer.”

  Kate’s chin dipped to hide her unexpected smile, it being one of the first times he’d shown any signs of unease, as if he would be devastated if she turned down his offer. Yet, that was precisely what she needed to do. His generosity had swiftly turned Kate’s feelings from indebtedness to something more akin to flattery. “I cannot accept any more from you, Joshua. You have already given me too much.”

  He waved his hand at the room. “A place to sleep, a few meals, and a carriage ride across town? It is hardly anything. And to be honest, I am happy for the company.”

  The flutter in her stomach returned. She longed to make their living situation permanent, though she had no right to the desire.

  He’d done way more for her than he was willing to admit. Earlier that day, a pair of men had arrived to help her clear the debris from the schoolroom in preparation for the repairs. They’d worked alongside her for hours, lifting the heavier desks and shelving until Joshua joined them after completing his work for the day.

  Joshua had labored alongside her, and Kate hadn’t been shocked at the team they made, working together until they were both exhausted and filthy. The work had been hard; however, the company had been splendid.

  “What of Dolly?” Kate asked, banishing the images of Joshua with his shirtsleeves rolled up as they worked. “I am certain she cherishes her time with you.”

  The older woman acted more akin to a doting mother than Joshua’s grandmother’s companion. Several times since Kate had been in residence, she’d noted Dolly watching Joshua, keeping an interested eye on the man.

  “Dolly tired of me before I reached the age of ten. She would rather retire to her sitting room with a novel or work in the kitchens with Cook than listen to me bore her with tales of paperwork, agreements, settlements, and the like.” Joshua stepped into the room, and Kate nodded toward the sitting area close to the hearth. “Thank you. I hope you do not mind if I join you for a bit. I have news.”

  Kate had grown accustomed to Joshua throughout their arrangement. Even now, she knew once he took his seat, he’d run his hand through his hair, straighten his cravat, and clear his throat before speaking again.

  And she was correct. Perhaps at another time, she would have smiled to herself at the accuracy of her guess.

  But Kate was uncertain she wanted to hear what he had to tell her.

  Conversing in her bedchamber was little different than sharing an enclosed coach on their drive to Cheapside. With anyone else, especially a man, Kate would feel hesitant to be alone. But not Joshua. Her father had trusted him, a rarity for the man, and her mother had never turned the solicitor away when he came to call, even when the vicar was not at home. Both her parents would be eternally grateful for his kindness to Kate,
and they’d be disappointed in their daughter if she repaid said kindness by insulting Joshua.

  Besides, he was helping her, not seducing her.

  The thought sent fresh ideas whirling through her mind: the feel of his lips against her skin, the scent of him freshly washed and shaven for the day, the way his eyes lingered encouragingly on her when she wanted to say something but couldn’t find the proper words.

  Joshua was helping her, indeed, but a part of her hoped for…

  He cleared his throat once more and ran his hands down the front of his trousers where he sat in the large armchair facing the hearth.

  Kate perched on the edge of the chaise lounge, afraid to soil the light blue brocade with her dusty skirts as she attempted to rein in her wanton thoughts.

  Her head swam as he took her in, his stare moving swiftly down her seated form before settling on her face once more. Could he be entertaining similar notions of attraction? Certainly, he would not have taken her hand and kissed her wrist if he hadn’t.

  “I have asked around about Pierce De Vere, the current Duke of Shrewbury, previously the Earl of Holderness. But as the servants informed my man, he has not been seen or heard from in many years.” He stretched out his legs, crossing them at the ankles before continuing, “I have made inquiries of several solicitor associates to ascertain what they know about the elusive lord and his sire, but all I’ve heard is that the couple was a bit reclusive in the country, and their son enjoyed the…err, attention of many ladies about town.”

  Kate begged the tension to leave her. It had to be caused by his confession and not the way his gaze on her person made her stomach flip. “Is that so different from other lords of his station?”

  Joshua chuckled. “Very wise observation. Are you certain you have not spent more time among the arrogant, pompous men of the ton?”

  “You are the first and only lord I am acquainted with.” Would he care if she had moved among others of his status?

  Startlingly, it mattered greatly to Kate if it was important to him.

  “I do hope you have garnered your opinion of the upper class based on my example.”

  “Of course,” she stuttered, though he was obviously jesting with her.

  They hadn’t had a private moment to discuss the news Henry had returned with from Oxfordshire—or, more aptly, Kate had shied away from speaking of it. She suspected Joshua would only offer her more assistance by way of funds and workers, and she’d never be able to repay him.

  Neither his kindness nor his money.

  “I apologize that our arrangement will last longer than either of us anticipated.” In fact, despite her better judgement, Kate hadn’t any idea when she’d be able to move back home. “I know it is terribly inconvenient to have me underfoot.”

  He waved his hand, dispelling her apology. “Do not fret. It is no inconvenience at all. I sent an entreaty to the bank requesting the liquidation of the bank account. At least that will garner enough funds to continue the work needed. I have also called in a favor at Dephino’s Lumber outside London. I helped with the proprietor’s daughter’s dowry agreement, and he is indebted to me—at least by giving us a discount on the materials we will need to complete the work.”

  Kate noticed how seamlessly Joshua said, “we.”

  “Why are you being so kind?” Kate blurted. She’d been thinking the question for days but never meant to vocalize it. She understood the importance of helping those less fortunate than yourself. It had been a large part of her parents’ mission in Cheapside. Her father counseled those who lived in the area, and her mother attempted to provide affordable education. If Kate were being honest, she didn’t want to believe that Joshua had an ulterior motive behind his actions. “I mean…”

  Her words trailed off. She was unable to establish any other meaning behind her question.

  His eyes narrowed on her. “You are my friend.”

  Friend? In all her years, Kate hadn’t ever called another that. Yes, she’d grown close to some children in her youth, but outside the classroom, they had no association with one another. As they grew older, they moved on, married, and some even moved away from Cheapside. They never reached out to her. There had been young girls and boys she’d met at her father’s vicarage, but they too hadn’t sought out anything more than their morning of scripture teachings.

  The ache she’d suffered after her parents’ passing had grown in its depth when not a single person had reached out to give condolences for her loss, besides a few of the men and women of her father’s congregation.

  “Come now,” Joshua said when she remained silent. “You cannot think a friendship between you and me is so out of the realm of possibility. We have much in common. We see each other nearly every day. We wave and greet one another. I handled matters for your father when needed, and for you afterwards. Our respective buildings are across the street from one another.”

  Besides Mr. Cuttlebottom and mayhap Joshua’s uncle, her father had not been a man to keep friends. Neither had her mother outside of sporadic visits from parents of her pupils, and those were never instigated by her mother. Oddly enough, Kate had never given her parents’ solidary existence much consideration. “And that makes us friends despite all our—”

  “All our what?” Joshua prodded.

  “Differences. You are an educated lord, while I am the daughter of an impoverished vicar and a schoolmarm.” She pursed her lips, knowing she shouldn’t have to spell everything out to him. His upbringing and station as a duke’s son should be proof enough. But his blank stare said he at least needed a reminder of where their respective positions in London society stood. “You know as well as I that our paths were never meant to cross, my lord. My life is in Cheapside, it always will be.” She swung her arms wide. “And yours is here, in this lovely home, or in your fancy office away from the working-class areas.”

  “Simply because I was blessed by the circumstances of my birth, you think that means we were never meant to be friends? That friendship between us is out of the question?”

  Kate wanted far more than to be simply friends with Joshua. She longed to truly belong in his home, in his world. “I am only saying that I believe our friendship is not as normal as most,” she said, averting her stare. “My class and your class…your world and my world…could not be more different, no matter what we think of it. Though I relish the notion of our friendship.”

  “And what if I believe I am only able to be who I want to be in your world.” He sat forward, his frame no longer relaxed, as if what he planned to share next meant a great deal. And that, in turn, her response was important to him. “What if on the inside, I do not feel like a part of the world I was born into? What if, for that matter, you are meant to be something different, as well? Something more…”

  Kate sniffed at his question, wondering what he meant by the statement but also longing for the possibility that what he said could be true. “We are who we are. One cannot change or dispel the circumstances surrounding one’s birth. A pauper can never be a prince, just as a prince cannot become a pauper simply because he wishes it so.”

  “I relent, Miss Kate,” he said with a chuckle, reclining once more, though not as comfortably as a few moments before. “However, you mustn’t ignore that there is more to life and the paths we take than what is included solely due to our birthright.”

  Kate desperately wanted to believe in that. She wanted to take his words to heart and live by them, especially since she could not be sure of the circumstances surrounding her birth. For all Kate knew, she was already living above the station she’d been born into. Heavens above, she wanted to defy all her circumstances and proclaim to all that she truly longed for…Joshua.

  Clearing her throat, Kate changed the topic before her heart overwhelmed her good sense. “When do you think to hear from the bank?”

  He shrugged. “The deposit account was recorded many years ago. It may take time to locate the original paperwork—if it still exists. They m
ay not have the authority to release the funds prematurely and may need to locate the current duke for approval.”

  “That could take a lot of time.” Far more time than they had.

  “Yes,” Joshua agreed. “Until my men locate Shrewbury, or the bank responds to my request, we keep working. You can continue teaching the children in my office as the repairs progress on your home. And my townhouse is at your disposal for as long as necessary.”

  “Are you certain I shouldn’t sell to Mr. Cuttlebottom?” She’d pondered the possibility the entire previous day, and Joshua would have to admit it was a viable enough option for her. As she summed up the courage to say what needed to be said, she silently hoped he’d speak out against her coming plan. Perhaps admit that he could not think of her no longer living across the street from his office. “With the money, I could purchase a small cottage outside the city or save the funds and apply for a position at one of the many boarding schools around England. I know I am not overly educated, but I am qualified to teach—”

  “You cannot think to give up what your parents left to you, even if it sounds easier in the moment.”

  Kate never wanted to give up what little she possessed—and that had begun to include Joshua as much as her schoolroom and pupils.

  “No option is so simple,” she retorted. “No matter what is decided, I have much work ahead of me. It does not help that I am at the mercy of others and not in control of what is to come. Plus, I have been forced to accept your generosity, knowing I will never be able to repay you. At least if I sold the building, I would have a small sum to my name.”

  “And you would leave Cheapside—and the children—behind for a cottage or a teaching position?” His brow rose, and Kate did not feel at ease with him questioning her dedication to her students.

  “I hadn’t thought the plan through in its entirety. But, yes, if that is where fate took me, it is where I would go.” It was unfair and not what she’d choose for her future. However, if given no other alternative, Kate would need to forge a new path. “You, of all people, should understand my need to support myself and not leave my future to chance.”