Fake Marriage (Contemporary Romance Box Set)

by Ajme Williams

  “Are you sure you’re okay?” he asked, his voice sleepy.

  “Yes. But you’ve made a mess of me,” I joked. “I need to clean up a bit.”

  “Give me a minute, and I’ll mess you up again.” He frowned. “I mean that in a sexual way not—”

  “I know what you meant.” I laughed. But when I got into the bathroom and looked at myself in the mirror, my humor left as I felt so afraid. I was going to have my heart broken, that was for sure. I had to remember this was a fake marriage and while Tucker seemed to still want to be with me, it didn’t seem possible that it could last. Did I go with this for as long as I could, knowing it would end? Did I let it go until the library project was done, and then end it?

  I got in the shower, doubt and desire, dreams and despair all whirling around. What I wanted and what I could have just didn’t seem to coalesce.

  When I was finished washing up, I put on a robe. Tucker was asleep in bed, so I went to the kitchen to get some water. I ruminated about the same thing all the time. I’d have thought by now I’d have an answer or at least shut up about it. But I couldn’t let it go. As long as I wanted Tucker and had him here, I wanted to believe in fairy tales and happily ever after. But the reality was that this was an arrangement. Eventually, he’d move on. I was just another woman on the path until he’d had more experiences and was ready to settle down.

  A knock on the door was a welcome distraction from my constant inner debate. I hadn’t turned the porch light on, so it shouldn’t have been trick-o-treaters, and yet, many were ever optimists. They went to every house, no matter what, in the hunt for sweet treats. Thinking it was a trick-or-treater at the door, I grabbed the bowl of candy I’d set on the entryway table before we left.

  I opened the door ready to gush over a costume, but it wasn’t a trick-or-treater.

  “Rick.” What the hell was he doing here?

  “Hi Holly.” His eyes roamed over my body and I realized I had a robe on. He’d seen me naked plenty of times before, but when he left, he’d lost the right to my body.

  I pulled the lapels of the robe tighter over my chest. “What are you doing here?”

  “Can I come in? I want to talk. About us.”

  “It’s not a good time. You should have called and let me know you were in town.”

  He studied me for a moment, and leaned against the door jam. “I was afraid you wouldn’t see me and we need to talk. I want you back, baby. I know I fucked up. But I still want you. And I won’t take no for an answer.”

  There was a lot I wanted to say, but I didn’t feel I could say it now with Tucker in the other room. This needed to be a private conversation in which I could dedicate my full attention to him. One where I was dressed and in a neutral place, like a restaurant.

  “Like I said, now isn’t a good time.”

  “Are you sick? I can take care of you. You know I make a mean chicken soup.”

  I swallowed as I knew the longer that he was at the door, the greater the chance Tucker would wander out. He’d probably be naked.

  “We can talk. We can. Just at another time. Okay?” I nodded, hoping he’d agree even if just by osmosis.

  He nodded back. “Okay. Are you sure you’re okay? Really, I don’t mind staying and taking care of you. It would give us a chance to talk and for me to show you I’m sincere. I really am, Holly.”

  “I know. Just…let’s do it another time.”

  He straightened. “Okay. I’ll give you a call. We can go on a date.”

  “Sure. Yeah,” I said willing to agree to anything as long as he left.

  He smiled and then turned to walk back to where his car was in front of the house. He looked back, smiled and waved.

  I managed a smile and a small wave back. I blew out a breath, and shut the door. When I turned, I jumped. Tucker was standing at the edge of the living area and his expression was unreadable, but I knew, it wasn’t good.

  25

  Tucker

  When I first realized Holly was talking with her ex, I tried to be mature about it. She was telling him to leave. That was good.

  But then she essentially said she knew he was sincere in his efforts to win her back and agreed to see him on a date. What the fuck was I doing here if she was going to give him another chance, I thought. I’d just fucked her brains out, and she was accepting advances from her ex.

  “What’s going on?” I asked.

  “It’s nothing.”

  “Nothing my ass. Don’t lie to me, Holly. You can do a lot to me, but don’t you dare lie.” I’d been raised to always be honest, at least about feelings. My mother seemed to think that all relationships required total honesty of emotion to survive. I didn’t always adhere to my mother’s beliefs, but that was one I found to be true.

  She stopped short at my tone. “I’m not lying.”

  I simply stared at her.

  “It was Rick. My ex. He was saying the same old thing. I told him now wasn’t the time.”

  “Later over dinner is the time, though. On a date.” Jealousy at Rick and anger at her boiled in my gut.

  “Tucker.”

  “He wants you back.”

  She sighed. “Yes.”

  “And what do you want? Is the feeling mutual?”

  Her eyes narrowed, and I thought she had some fucking gall to be annoyed at me. “I’m not interested in getting back together with Rick. He left me at the altar. He made his choice and now he’ll have to live with it.”

  I took in a breath as a little bit of the anvil on my chest lightened. “Are you sure? Because he left here thinking he had a chance with you. And you agreed to marry him once. You must have loved him. Maybe that’s not gone.” Jesus, what was I doing? It was like I was making her second guess herself.

  But I was in this too deep to have her go waltzing off with her ex when he crooked his finger. If she still wanted him, I needed to get out now. I’d figure out a way to play hubby for Meredith’s sake, but I wasn’t going to be a fucking idiot and pursue a woman who had eyes for another man.

  “Are you sure you don’t want to give him another chance?” My breath stalled in my chest as I waited for her answer.

  “I don’t feel comfortable talking about my ex with you.” She started to walk past me, but anger seethed and I blocked her way.

  “An hour ago, I was sucking your pussy and fucking you in every way possible, and you’re not comfortable with me?”

  “Tucker.”

  “No. Dammit.” I sucked in a breath as I prepared to lay it all on the line. “I haven’t kept it a secret that I was attracted to you when I met you. That hasn’t changed. In fact, it’s gotten stronger. This marriage might be fake, but what I feel,” I slapped my hand over my chest. “That’s real, baby. Hearing you with your ex, it kills me, because I want you, Holly. I want you to choose me.” I shook my head feeling a little too vulnerable. “I’ve been patient. I’ve been supportive. You’ve pushed me away. You’ve walked away emotionally. And guess what? I’m still here. And where was he? On your wedding day for Christ sake. No where. Yet he gets your attention? Fuck that.”

  Now I was beginning to feel like a pathetic whiner.

  I blew out a breath. “Just tell me where I stand. Be open. That’s all I want. Tell me what the fuck you’re feeling especially about us.”

  She stepped back and looked down, biting her lip. My heart dropped to the floor.

  “I know this situation has been unique and hard…and I get that sex can be confused with feelings.”

  I closed my eyes as I realized I’d been a fucking fool.

  “This is an arrangement. And I’ve enjoyed all our time together, Tucker, really.”

  “So, I’m just a boy toy. This is all just sex and duping an old woman out of her money?”

  She flinched. “You’re a wonderful man, and I’ve really come into my own being with you.”

  “I’m not a therapist.”

  “All I’m saying is that this isn’t real. We’re here becau
se of the library and to make Meredith Reynolds support it. Once that’s done, we’ll go back to being coworkers. And hopefully friends.”

  Jesus, it was like she had a knife in my chest. Each word, it turned painfully. I hoped I’d bleed out soon and the pain would end.

  “So, all this time, this has just been an act for you?” I felt completely gutted.

  “I wouldn’t say an act, but it’s not a marriage. It’s two friends who are in a situation and making the best of it. But it’s not lasting.”

  “You’re wrong.” I was desperate to make her understand that this was more, and yet I knew I couldn’t make her change how she felt. And what she felt was nothing for me.

  “I tried to tell you, Tucker. I’m not ready for a relationship. And if I was…we both know that eventually, it wouldn’t work. Why put ourselves through that?”

  “What are you, psychic? How do you know how it will be?”

  “Because I was twenty-four once. You have so much more living to do once you’re done with me.”

  I could only stare at her as I tried to figure out what the hell she was talking about. “So, you’re done with me because you’re afraid of when I’m done with you?”

  She sighed as she nodded.

  “Except you can’t be done with me, because you’ve never really engaged with me.”

  “I’m sorry that this is all so convoluted, but I was clear from the beginning. I’m not ready for a relationship. Not ever with Rick. Not with you.” She pushed past me and this time I let her go.

  I stood like an idiot for a while as I contemplated what to do next. I wanted to leave. I wanted to say the hell with her and walk out. But I’d made a deal with her to help her get the money from Meredith. As much as I felt like she didn’t deserve my help anymore, I knew she’d been right. She’d told me she wasn’t ready. She showed all the signs that she wasn’t ready when she’d withdrawn from me.

  So I was the one who’d been slow on the uptake. I still wanted to leave. A part of me wanted Meredith to find out about her. But that would be immature of me, which must be what that comment about being twenty-four meant. She thought I was too young. Too immature. At least I was honest, I thought.

  I went to the kitchen to make myself something to eat.

  “You can make your own fucking dinner,” I said under my breath, knowing that it was immature, but not caring. Since I was a man of my word, and it was largely my fault that I let my feelings get involved, I’d stick out the arrangement.

  I took my sandwich and went to the guest room. The inflatable bed had deflated, not unlike my ego and my heart. I blew it up again, and then pulled out my school bag. I’d distract myself with curriculum planning.

  My phone rang. I was going to ignore it, but then I saw it was Meredith. Why was she calling me?

  “Tucker, I hope I’m not interrupting. I know it’s Halloween and you probably have plans.”

  “No plans,” I said. “What’s up?”

  “Well, my birthday is coming up and I’d really like it if you could come.”

  Was she leaving Holly out of this?

  “You and Holly are such a nice young couple, and I want to introduce you to people you should know in the county and even the state. Lots of influential people will be there.”

  “I’ll need to talk to Holly but I don’t think it will be a problem.”

  “It could be a good thing for the library too. I’ve been telling my friends all about the work we’re doing. Our little town may end up with the best library in the state.”

  “Holly would love that,” I said, trying to put enthusiasm into my voice.

  She gave me the date and time. Then, maybe because I was immature, I didn’t go tell Holly about the party. Instead I texted her.

  Two minutes later, she knocked and then burst through my door. “Why is Meredith calling you? This is my project?”

  I shrugged and picked up a science book to research cool science experiments. “Ask her yourself.”

  “I’m asking you.”

  I glared. “I don’t know, Holly. I didn’t ask her. Maybe it’s because it’s the traditional thing to do to call the man. Maybe it’s because she likes me better.” Okay, so that was immature.

  She huffed out a breath and looked away for a moment. “I’m sorry. I—”

  “I don’t want to hear your excuses. I’ll continue with this farce because despite what you think, I’m mature, and a man of my word. And because I want to help the kids.”

  “Tucker.” Her expression was pained. “I’m sorry I hurt you.”

  “I’ll get over it. Just…give me some space. I’ll be able to pull this off.”

  She watched me for a moment, and I got the feeling she was torn about something. For a moment, I wondered if she was going to change her mind. But that was my stupid wishful heart talking. That was what got me into trouble in the first place.

  “It’s okay, really. You were clear with me and I’m the one that blurred the boundaries. I promise I won’t let this fuck your library deal.” I managed a smile so she’d feel like I wasn’t her enemy.

  “Thank you, Tucker.”

  I could only nod and look down into my book, which I realized too late was upside down. But then she’d shut my door. And that was it, I thought That door shutting symbolized the end of my chance with her.

  26

  Holly

  I remembered thinking Rick had been a selfish asshole for leaving me without explanation. If he didn’t want to get married, he should have talked to me. His running away on the day of the wedding left me feeling humiliated and worthless.

  As I reflected over my interactions with Tucker, I realized I was as bad as Rick. Tucker had been nothing but kind and helpful, and I’d hurt him. I didn’t want to hurt him. When he confessed his feelings, I wanted to accept all that he was offering me. But in that moment, my fears overtook my heart’s desire and I’d cruelly dismissed his feelings. I really was a bitch and I hated myself for it.

  I’d fully expected him to pack up and leave that night after Rick had shown up. I’d have left in his situation. And yet, he stayed. Not for me, but for the library, for the kids. He was clearly a better person than I was. It was more proof that I didn’t deserve him.

  The next few days were tense. Mostly he stayed out of my way. He cooked, but didn’t eat with me. For the most part, he stayed in his room or was out with Brooke or doing something else. So many times, I wanted to take back my words, and yet, this situation was what I’d wanted all the long. It made me think of the saying, “Be careful what you wish for.” I’d gotten my wish and I was miserable.

  The night of Meredith’s party, I dressed in a classic party dress. Tucker came out of his room in a suit, and once again, my heart simultaneously rolled and split in my chest. He looked so handsome, and yet the gleam in his eyes was gone.

  “Want me to drive? She’ll probably expect that,” he said, fiddling with his tie to get it straight. I wanted to help him with it, but knew I couldn’t.

  “Sure. Thanks.”

  We drove in silence and I wondered if we were going to be able to pull off being a happily married couple.

  As we pulled up to the house, Tucker’s eyes were wide at the size of it. He gave a small whistle. “That’s a lot of house for one woman.”

  A valet was there to help us out and park the car.

  “I never knew there was so much money out here,” Tucker said as we stood on the steps of the house.

  “Meredith and Stark have the bulk of it. But both are also well connected. There will be lots of powerful people here, some who might help with the library.”

  He held out his arm, and I slipped my hand through, kicking myself for the umpteenth time that his gesture wasn’t real. It was fake. It was fake because I insisted that it be.

  “Have you ever been to one of these shindigs?” he asked as we walked up the steps.

  “No.” Nerves crept over my skin as I worried about standing out in a bad way. Was m
y dress nice enough? I’m sure the gift I got her, a glass paperweight, was the least expensive she’d get. It would probably be tossed or donated to one of the charity shops.

  “Ready?” He looked down at me.

  I mustered a smile. “I hope so.”

  He patted my hand that was hooked on his arm. “You’ll be fine.”

  I marveled at how kind he was considering how I’d treated him.

  We were ushered in by a woman who worked for Meredith. She took our gift to put somewhere else, and then led us to a large room near the back of the house.

  “It’s a ballroom.” Tucker’s voice was in awe. “I thought that was just in movies.”

  “Tucker, Holly, so good of you to come,” Meredith greeted us.

  “Happy birthday, Meredith,” Tucker said, giving her a kiss on the cheek. She blushed.

  “Happy birthday,” I said, thinking maybe Tucker was right in that she liked him better.

  “Please come in and enjoy yourselves. You may find more support for the library.” She turned slightly and looked towards another woman. “That’s Marya Colbourn, and she and I were talking about the library. She thought maybe we needed to have reading areas for the kids. Perhaps decorated with classic literature. I told her I’d mention it to you.”

  I looked at her in surprise. Hadn’t I suggested that? She’d shot it down.

  “That’s a great idea,” Tucker said, putting his arm around me and giving it a light squeeze.

  “It is,” I agreed.

  “Well, the wine and champagne are flowing. There’s a bar at the end of the room if you’d like something stronger. Enjoy.” She flitted off.

  “She has some nerve,” I said under my breath.

  “As long as you get what you want, does it matter where the idea comes from,” he said, letting me go. I hated the distance I felt, not just from losing his touch, but in his voice.

  He grabbed two glasses of wine from a passing waiter and handed me one. I took a sip and then scanned the room. There was a bar at the end where a man was serving drinks. On the other side, a three-string quartet played softly. There were many people in the room, some who I recognized from news stories about prominent citizens in the county and state, but I’d never met them.