Star (Beautiful Book 5)

by Lilliana Anderson

  “A little,” he admits, pulling me closer so I’m standing between his legs. He drops my hand then places his on the small of my back while the other splays over my abdomen. “You’re carrying my baby?”

  “Yeah.” I release a nervous laugh. “I’m carrying your baby.”

  Then he presses his face into the softness of my stomach and wraps his arms around my middle, the reaction flooding me with so much emotion that I cry. “Are you OK?” I run my fingers through his thick hair.

  He nods then looks up at me, eyes shining with moisture. “Yeah,” he says, standing before he picks me up like I need to be rescued. “Are you?”

  “I don’t know,” I say truthfully. “I’m still processing.” But it helps that he isn’t freaking out and pacing the room.

  He nods then carries me towards his bedroom.

  “I thought you were taking me home?”

  “I was. But now I’ve decided that I want to keep you here instead.” He lays me on his bed. It’s huge and smells like him, and suddenly all I want to do is wrap myself in blankets and breathe him in.

  “I’m not going to fuck you,” he clarifies, removing my shoes. “But I am going to hold you.” He pulls the blankets back and I slide underneath, not even caring that I’m still in my dress. I just need to be with him, and I think he needs that too, because when he slides in behind me and wraps his arm around my body, he’s still wearing his tuxedo pants. I think we’re both in shock.

  “Tell me what you’re thinking,” I say after a few moments of silence.

  He takes a deep breath then presses his lips against my shoulder. “That I’m in love with you,” he answers, making my heart jump and stomach swirl.

  “You are?” I turn my head so I can make out his features in the dark room.

  “Yeah. Ever since I met you. I fell pretty hard for the girl who kept flinging herself into bad situations to help people around her. You’re an amazing woman. And if there was anyone on this earth that I’d want a child with, it would be you.”

  “You really mean that?”

  “I do. You’re perfect for me, Sandra Haegan.”

  “I think you might be perfect for me too, Jonathan Masters,” I whisper back, tears in my eyes as he tilts my chin and brings his mouth to mine, kissing me slow and long.

  “We’re having a baby,” he says, bemusement in his tone when we come up for air.

  “I’m freaking out. I don’t know what I’ll do with a baby.”

  His arm tightens around it. “You’ll love it. We’ll love it. And I’ll be with you every step of the way, I promise.”

  Twenty-Five

  Jonathan

  She’s pregnant. I’m gonna be a dad.

  Holy fuck.

  I stand on my balcony and wish I smoked, it’d give me something to do while I tried to calm the fuck down while the woman of my dreams sleeps in my bed with my baby in her belly. All I’ve been able to think about since that first night is getting my dick back inside her and watching her pretty face while she comes. But now, fuck, our whole world has changed. The thought of kids had never really crossed my mind, and now I’m supposed to be responsible for one. The idea blows my mind. But in a good way. I’m gonna be a dad.

  Sandra and I are gonna have a family.

  I should marry her.

  The thought fits so solidly in my mind that I’m sure it’s the right thing to do. I love her. There’s no doubt about that. I love her more than anything. And if we’re gonna start a family, I think we should do it right.

  Sandra

  When I wake the next morning, I’m alone in Jonathan’s bed and my head aches. I’m not sure if it’s from my emotions or my actions. Last night was…a roller coaster. I need to apologise to Brad for running out on him. He’s beautiful, caring and considerate. And he’s been nothing but be good to me. I need to apologise for leading him on too. It wasn’t intentional. When I assured him there was nothing going on between Jonathan and me, I meant it. Jonathan has been nothing but a disruption to my life since the moment I met him, and I had convinced myself that I wanted him to go away. But he didn’t. He stayed. And now I can’t deny what’s between us. I love him.

  And it isn’t even that he’s grown on me. I wanted him all along. I was just too afraid to admit it. Too stubborn to acknowledge the ache in my gut whenever he was around. He sets my soul on fire, makes my heart beat a little faster and feel a little lighter.

  My heart doesn’t care that the man could break it into a million pieces. It simply cares about the primal, soul searing connection that I only feel with one man, and I know that if I don’t allow myself to explore it, then I’ll spend the rest of my life regretting it.

  I sigh as I bury my face into the pillow and get a nose full of Jonathan’s manly scent. He always smells amazing. A manly musk with a hint of citrus and deliciousness. I smell it in my dreams sometimes. Is that weird?

  My phone buzzes on the bedside table, and I lift my head, wondering when it got there. Then I find a note and a handpicked flower from the garden downstairs.

  Went to get us breakfast. Feel free to shower and steal my clothes again. J xx

  Smiling, I hold the flower to my nose then pick up my phone to read the message.

  Brad: are you ok?

  I groan because I feel horrible. He doesn’t deserve this kind of treatment. Opening my messaging app, I tap out a message, decide it sounds trite then delete it before I dial Brad’s number then wait with my heart pounding in my chest.

  “I owe you an apology,” I say the moment he answers the phone. “I shouldn’t have run off the way I did.”

  “I’m sorry if I pushed you too far too fast. That was never my intention.”

  “I know it wasn’t, and you didn’t do a thing wrong. It was all me. I’m just really confused about things at the moment.”

  “Does that actor guy I keep seeing you photographed with have anything to do with it?” he asks.

  I pull at my lip with my teeth. I don’t particularly want to answer, but I owe him that much. “I thought we were friends at most, but…”

  “But it’s more than that.”

  “I’m so sorry,” I practically whisper, closing my eyes as a wave of guilt washes over me. “I really am. I wish things were different. On paper, he’s so wrong for me.” But I love him and I’m pregnant with his child.

  He lets out a light chuckle. “Well, you wouldn’t be so confused if he was completely wrong for you,” he says. “You know, there’s this quote I saw from Johnny Depp. It goes something like ‘if you love two people at the same time then you should choose the second, because you obviously weren’t that into the first one if you could fall for the second’. It makes a lot of sense don’t you think?”

  “Are you mad?”

  “No, Sandra. We were never exclusive. I’m not sure we ever had a chance once Jonathan Masters set his sights on you.”

  “Then why did you want to date me at all?”

  “Because I like to do things I shouldn’t. I wouldn’t be where I am in life if I wasn’t willing to go for the long shot.”

  “I’m sorry we didn’t work out.”

  “Don’t feel bad. There’ll be other girls.”

  “And other elevators,” I add with a smile, feeling a lighter now it’s all off my chest and he doesn’t hate me for it.

  “Oh no. There could never be another girl from an elevator. You win that one hands down.”

  “You’re a good guy, Bradley Rae.”

  “So they tell me,” he says, kindly. “And if you ever need a last-minute table at Quay, or a cupcake delivery, you’ve got my number.”

  “Thanks, Brad. I’ll be sure to keep it safe.”

  “See you around.”

  He disconnects, and I let out my breath, dropping my phone back onto the bedside before getting out of bed and deciding to take up Jonathan’s suggestion of a shower. I feel both awful and relieved now that I’ve officially ended things with Brad, but more than anything, I’m trep
idatious yet optimistic about a future with Jonathan. The man has certainly worked his way under my skin. If there was no history between him and Lisa, no embarrassment between myself and Marcus Bailey, and no paparazzi following us around, I think I would have fallen into him quite rapidly. He’s funny, he’s sexy, he listens when I talk and he’s interesting to listen to. I enjoy his honesty, and I enjoy his playfulness, and I really appreciate his loyalty. He’s been patient and present in my life, so sure I’d realise what he already knew. We belong together.

  I place my hand over my stomach and take a deep inhale. And now we have another life to think about too.

  Oh god, imagine what my mother will do when she finds out I’m pregnant to a movie star. She’ll lose her mind.

  Smiling to myself, I shut off the shower and exit the bathroom wrapped in a towel.

  “If I was a T-shirt, where would I belong?” I ask myself as I look around Jonathan’s room. It’s very obviously decorated by a single man who prefers comfort over aesthetics. A man with his money could have a designer come in and a maid to keep it clean. But as I’ve grown to care for Jonathan, I’ve learned that the only time he’s a movie star is when he’s on screen, the rest of the time, he acts and lives like a regular person who’s close to his family and friends.

  Deciding Jonathan is the kind of person to store T-shirts in the drawer, I open the large oak dresser and find what I’m after on the first try. His shirt smells like him as I pull it over my head, and I love that the fabric hugs my naked body.

  “You made the paper again today,” a voice says as I exit the bedroom. I freeze on the spot, glad I made that last-minute decision to put my panties on when I come face to face with a well-built guy with dark hair and kind eyes. “And you’re not Jonathan.” He gives me a lopsided grin as he drops said paper in the middle of the dining table.

  “Neither are you,” I say with a nervous chuckle as I wonder if I should run back into Jonathan’s room and put my dress back on.

  “No.” The guy laughs and steps towards me, holding his hand out. “I’m Joel. You must be Sandra.”

  “I am.” I take his hand and smile. “Jonathan has just gone out to get something for breakfast. He won’t be long.”

  “That’s OK. I can catch up with him later.” He releases my hand and steps back, grinning like he knows something I don’t. “He’s a good guy, Sandra. Better than these things make him out to be.” He gestures to the paper, and I glance at the headline, ‘Friends with Benefits?’ underneath there’s a photo of Jonathan kissing me at the river yesterday. Jesus. You’d think I’d be used to this by now.

  “I know. And I’m not the home wrecker they make me out to be.”

  “I never thought you were.” He gives me a wink then heads for the front door, closing it quietly behind him and leaving me alone again. Joel and Jonathan are obviously very close if Joel feels comfortable letting himself into the apartment. I think that’s lovely. I’ve never had a friend I felt that close to. Even Lisa and I would knock on each other’s doors and wait to be invited in.

  Smiling to myself, I look around the living area, enjoying being in Jonathan’s personal space. It feels like him—the real him—and maybe I’m calling too early, but I feel like I belong.

  I’m reading through the article when Jonathan arrives home. It basically calls him and I liars as well as calling Jonathan unprofessional for leaving the premiere early. There’s even a mention about my date with Brad which means someone was watching me all night. Stalkers.

  “Good morning, beautiful,” Jonathan murmurs, standing behind me before he wraps his arms around my middle and kisses me in the curve of my neck. “I love you in my clothes, in my house, in my life.” His hand moves to my abdomen and I drop the paper, any annoyance from the prying eyes of the paparazzi evaporating. My world contracts, and the only thing that matters is him.

  “I love having you in my life too.”

  “Yeah?” He grins.

  “Yeah. I love you too, Jonathan.”

  He tightens his arms around my waist. “Then I’m never letting you go.”

  “Good. But what are we going to do when you’re working again?”

  He takes a deep breath and turns me in his arms so we’re facing each other properly. “I’ve been thinking about that for a while.”

  “A while?” I grin.

  “Of course. I knew you’d choose me.”

  “So confident.”

  He chuckles. “I thought you could come with me, you could write articles on location, and you’d have greater access to celebrities.”

  “That idea works great for a couple who aren’t expecting their first child,” I say.

  “Right? And I’ve been thinking about that too. I’ve been thinking all night actually, and I think I should take time off. At least until after the baby is born.”

  “Oh no, I couldn’t ask you to do that. It could ruin your career.”

  “And if I’m as good as I think I am, I’ll make a comeback.”

  “And what if the doors aren’t open to you anymore? This is a big deal, Jonathan.”

  His hands shift to my hips. “Nothing is more important than you or this baby we made together. Family is what makes a man rich, not money or fame. That’s just an illusion. I want to be here for you. Let me be here for our family.” He leans in and kisses me deeply, to the point where my knees go weak, and I struggle to keep my balance when he releases me. “I’m in love with you, dammit.”

  I’m grinning like a crazy person. “You amaze me.”

  He kisses me again. “You amaze me,” he whispers, pulling me against his body as his hand slides down to the curve of my arse and he kisses me until I’m out of breath. I can feel the length of his arousal, and a heat coils in the depths of my belly, memories of our one night together coming back in anticipation of more from him. Then just as quickly as things get started, he pulls away.

  I whimper at the loss of his mouth and hands on me.

  “You don’t have to prove yourself anymore,” I say as he moves to the grocery bags on the kitchen counter. “I don’t need you to go slow with me.”

  He grins then blows out a heavy breath. “I do. I really do,” he says, unpacking the overflowing bags. I move closer to see what he has. “I know there’s some food pregnant women can’t eat. So I went with muffins, but then I was worried you wouldn’t feel like muffins so I got that seeded bread you like for toast, and some yogurt and fruit. Oh, and I got these for you. Prenatal vitamins. You’re supposed to take them when you start trying or as soon as you know.”

  I pick up the bottle of vitamins and smile. “You know there’ll be a photo of you buying these on the internet in about five minutes, right?”

  He shrugs. “They know me here. We should be OK.” He presses his lips together. “I’m trying to do this right.”

  I place my hand over his, and he pauses his grocery sorting. “You are.” Something in his eyes shifts and I can’t help but press my lips to his and show him the truth in my heart. I kiss him deeply as I run my fingers through his blond hair and down the side of his lightly stubbled cheek, moaning as I revel in the feeling of his mouth on mine. Why did I ever deny myself this beautiful man? “You’re going to be a great baby daddy,” I whisper when we part.

  He catches my hand and kisses my palm before cupping the side of my neck and pulling me closer. “I want to be a great partner too.”

  “You will be.” My lips part, ready and waiting for his mouth to meet mine, and when it does, my body catches fire, relishing in doing that thing I’ve craved but haven’t allowed myself to want as much as I do now.

  I’m leaning against the bench with Jonathan in front of me, his hand resting casually on my waist as his mouth moves with mine, tongues exploring, lips sucking and brushing. Desire, lust and a deeply passionate love swirl their way through my body as I move my hand to his and urge it beneath my top, towards my breast.

  As his fingers brush the underside of my heavy flesh, he lets ou
t this moan that sounds so erotic a bolt of pleasure rushes straight to my core and presents itself as a gasp in my mouth. I urge him upward and moan myself when his large hand cups my breast entirely, gently gripping the flesh as he slides his fingers over my rock hard nipple.

  I whimper, my hand sliding down to his hip where I pull and move against him, enjoying the groan that escapes his body as he presses his erection against my side then shifts slightly so his legs are entwined with mine, his thigh pressing against my centre.

  Rolling my hips, I lose myself in the pleasure of the friction between my legs and the glorious press and squeeze at my breast as his kisses move from my mouth to my jaw, and then to my neck and across my chest.

  Arching my back slightly, I push my breasts up at him, begging him with my body to continue kissing downward, and understanding my desire, he lifts my top higher, the fresh air washing over my flesh, causing me to whimper in anticipation. Then his mouth clamps down on my nipple and I almost die. They’re normally sensitive, but lately the slightest brush sets them tingling. His tongue swirling has me clutching at his shirt, whimpering like I’m about to come.

  Then I do.

  “Holy fuck,” I cry out, my body shuddering uncontrollably as I come undone, feeling the twitch of his cock as he presses it against my thigh and drops his forehead on my chest.

  “Did I just make you come by sucking your nipple?” he murmurs against my cleavage when I calm down.

  “Um…yeah.” I let out an uneasy laugh. “Apparently the first few months make you really horny.”

  He moans and kisses the side of my breast before he reaches up and pulls my shirt back down until the length of it brushes against my bare thigh. His fingers tease the edge of my panties and I’m aching for him to touch me more. “I should feed you.”

  “Or, I could feed you,” I pant, my voice coming out breathless as I pull his shirt up so I can slide my hands over his warm flesh.

  “You’re killing me here.” His voice is in my neck, his tongue tracing my pulse point.