Through Love's Eyes

by C. A. Popovich

  She passed across the Grand Hotel porch, smiled and nodded at the few folks enjoying the late afternoon. Only a couple of weeks ago, she wouldn’t have considered being this visible to so many people. She reflected on her newfound courage. Was it Erika’s reemergence in her life? She accepted who she was on the inside, and it caused the inside scars to fade and made the outside ones less important. She peeked inside at the diners who’d be dressed in formal wear in a few hours. Erika would be completely comfortable seated with them. She’d traveled the world and eaten at expensive restaurants in Paris and who knew where else. The fanciest place she’d ever eaten was an Italian restaurant with Barb. Erika was rich, famous, and beautiful, and she was a hick from a small town who spent her days with horses. But Erika still had that little girl who’d tried to run away from home inside her, and Brittany could see her emerging a little more each day.

  * * *

  Brittany sensed Erika’s anxiety as soon as she stepped into the room. She took her hand and led her to the couch. “Did something happen today?” She pushed aside her own fears to concentrate on Erika’s answer.

  Erika handed her a magazine folded open to a page with a picture of Peter with his arm around a young, beautiful model. She read the caption and understood the cause of Erika’s anguish. She scrambled for words of solace but could only shake her head. “What does this mean?” She had no idea how the modeling industry worked and maybe Peter had always been an agent to more than one model.

  “It means he’s dumped me for this youngster.” She stood and paced.

  “Can agents represent more than one model at a time?”

  Erika sat next to her. “They can. They work on a commission basis, and he’s been my agent for years. I suppose since he can’t find more work for me, he needs to take care of himself. The agency has probably encouraged him to move on.” Erika rested her head back on the couch. She looked crestfallen. “He and I have been together for my whole career. He’s probably as upset for me as I am for myself. He can’t force a magazine to take me on.” Erika’s look of defeat tore at her heart.

  She slid her arm behind Erika and pulled her into her arms. “Is there anything I can do?” Erika’s huge sigh and snuggle into her embrace was her answer.

  “Is it all right with you if we eat while we sit by the water again?” Erika asked.

  “I like that idea. Did you order anything yet?”

  “No, but it won’t take long.” Erika picked up her phone and ordered the food before she returned to her position in her arms.

  “I took the omnibus on two tours this morning,” Brittany said. “I actually felt comfortable doing it, and I think it has a lot to do with you.”

  “Me?” Erika sat up and faced her.

  “Yeah. You accept me for who I am and how I look, and I believe it’s given me the courage to put myself out there and overcome my uneasiness.”

  “I’m glad you’re more comfortable, and I’m happy if I played a part in it. You are a beautiful, amazing woman.” Erika cupped her face with one hand and the deep kiss she intended turned into a quick peck at the sound of knocking at the door. Erika jumped up to get their food.

  Brittany set the food and utensils on the table between the parlor chairs, then turned the chairs so they faced the window overlooking the water while Erika poured two glasses of wine.

  She turned to serve their meal. “This looks great. I figured we could watch the water from inside tonight.”

  “Prime rib again sounded good to me, and I hoped you’d like it,” Erika said. They ate in comfortable silence, watching the water in the distance.

  “Thanks for the dinner. I’m absolutely spoiled.” Brittany rested her arm across Erika’s shoulders after they settled on the couch.

  “You’re welcome. I appreciate you stepping in to set it up.”

  “It’s the least I could do since you’re willing to share it. These past couple of weeks with you have been really special. You’re special.”

  Brittany slowly pressed her lips against Erika’s and cradled her face with her hands. She began tentatively until Erika’s quiet murmurs emboldened her to graze her tongue slowly across her lips. She moaned when Erika’s tongue met hers and they circled each other. She wanted more but pulled away to catch her breath. They sat quietly holding each other for a few minutes before she rose to leave. Erika didn’t seem to want to push for more, and Brittany wasn’t sure how to move to the next stage, though her body was screaming for her to. She didn’t think it was her, but maybe Erika was too upset about her future. “I’ll see you tomorrow. Get some rest tonight.” She kissed Erika lightly before opening the door, and didn’t miss the thoughtful and somewhat sad look in Erika’s eyes as the door shut. What did it mean?

  She ambled along the path home. She’d had a long day and should be exhausted, but her time with Erika had energized her. She stopped to watch the moonlight sparkle on the water for a moment and to try to sort out her feelings. She knew she cared about Erika and knew the feeling when they kissed was sensual desire with Erika at the heart of it. She tried to figure out how she’d feel if Erika left and never came back. The pang of sadness, like a slap to the face, brought tears to her eyes. Barb’s words echoed in her mind again, but she feared it was too late to protect her heart. She went to bed looking forward to their trip to the burn unit in the morning, but uneasy about the necessary conversation regarding their future.

  * * *

  Erika went to bed with Brit on her mind. She was becoming precious and the time they spent together, more special. Her lifestyle had never allowed her to date anyone seriously, and she’d never met anyone she’d wanted to date long-term anyway. Her modeling career always came first, but for the first time she had someone special in her life. She worried she’d hurt Brit when she left, but she pushed away the terrifying small voice that murmured her career was over so it wouldn’t happen. Her throat tightened and she forced back tears. She was nobody if she wasn’t modeling. Erika James was the model called first. Requested before the others. Her growing physical relationship with Brit concerned her. Brit’s tentativeness was fading, and her kisses were becoming more impassioned. She needed to nip this in the bud but knew her heart had a different idea. She drifted off to sleep hoping for a resolution in her dreams.

  Chapter Thirty-two

  The morning sun glittered off the water and looked like small lights moved along by the waves. Erika drank her coffee and waited for Brit to arrive. She looked forward to their day trip off the island, but her growing idea of taking Brit with her to New York waned when she realized this serene, peaceful scene was one of the reasons Brit lived on the island. She’d made a comfortable life for herself here and probably wouldn’t want to leave. She finished her coffee and tried Peter’s number. She tapped her foot as nervous tension streamed through her body. She was about to give up, thinking the call hadn’t gone through, when he answered.

  “Hello, Erika. Did you get my text about Naturalé?”

  “I did. Did you get my message about you and that model in the magazine?” Peter was short and to the point, so she would be, too.

  “Yes. I need to work, too, Erika. I’m sorry that I haven’t found you anything yet, but I’m still trying. But you don’t have much time left to decide about the nude offer. They won’t wait forever.”

  Erika clutched her phone until her fingers began to cramp. “All right. I just want to make sure you haven’t written me off for that new model.” She held back her tears.

  “I haven’t, Erika. We’ve been together for years. I’m really trying for you.”

  “Okay. My cell phone works well from here, so I’ll call you next week with my decision.”

  “Sounds fine. Listen, Erika. I’m sorry, but you’re not the first model to be in this position. You’re still gorgeous, but as you know, youth and beauty sell. These magazines only worry about their bottom line, not the model’s careers. They’re on a constant search for fresh, young faces. I’m sorry. I won’t sto
p looking, though, and I’ll let you know if anything pops up.” Peter disconnected the call without so much as a good-bye.

  Erika loosened her grip on her phone and sat frozen in place. She struggled to process the idea that her only option was to take her clothes off. She was still stunned and fuming when Brit arrived.

  “Ready for our adventure?” Brit looked excited. She held up an insulated bag. “I packed us some water and snacks, but I thought we could have lunch in Mackinaw City.”

  Erika relaxed and vowed to stay positive. She didn’t want this special day ruined and she pasted on a smile to cover the hurt and betrayal she felt at Peter’s blunt words. She’d enjoy Brit’s company and take things a day at a time. “Sounds good.” She grabbed her sweater and followed Brit out the door.

  “You look a little sad today.” Brit reached for her hand without taking her eyes off the road as she drove. “Is it about Peter and his new model?”

  So much for not focusing on it. “I’ve never been in this position before. I’ve had time off between shoots, but never because I had nothing scheduled in the future.” She traced circles on the window.

  “It’ll be okay. Even if Peter doesn’t find you work, you’re beautiful, smart, and financially stable. You can find something to do. Something you’re passionate about. People switch careers all the time now. Maybe it’s your turn.” Brit squeezed her hand before releasing it and gripping the steering wheel.

  Erika considered Brit’s words. She’d been told she was beautiful her whole life until it became the only way she identified herself. What was she supposed to do now that her beauty wasn’t enough? She didn’t know how to do anything else. What other passions did she have that could translate into a career? She squashed the threatening panic and vowed to enjoy her day with Brit. She’d worry about her future later. “Where are we going first?”

  “I thought we’d start with the burn unit.”

  “Sounds good.” Erika smiled.

  Brit parked in the visitor’s lot at the hospital and Erika followed her through the halls to the burn unit. Joanne sat at her desk with her attention on her laptop when they entered her office.

  “Brittany, it’s good to see you again.” Joanne looked up and smiled.

  Erika laughed at her surprised expression when she stepped from behind Brit. “Oh my gosh, Erika!” Joanne rushed to hug them both.

  Brit looked surprised but remained quiet.

  “It’s good to see you again,” Erika said.

  “I can’t believe you’re both here.” Joanne looked back and forth between them.

  “Erika just finished a photo shoot on the island and we hoped the kids might like a visit.” Brit glanced at Erika, clearly a little puzzled. “Shall we gown up?”

  Erika had traveled to the unit several times when she first began to donate funds, but she’d forgotten how intense the experience was. The children’s pain was well managed for the most part, but their fear and loneliness filled the room. She watched the transformation on their faces when she and Brit introduced themselves. She understood why Brit traveled often to spend time with them. She’d been here after her own tragic experience, and she was an example of healing for the kids. She followed Brit to each room before they left and did her best to encourage the patients.

  “Thank you for stopping by today. The kids will be talking about it for days. It gives them something to focus on besides their situation.” Joanne hugged them both with tears in her eyes.

  Brit took her hand as they left the building. “I always feel grateful after I spend time here. I hope it was okay for you.”

  “It was. I’ve been donating to the clinic for years, but donating money is much different than your time. I’m glad we did this today. Thank you.” Erika stopped walking and turned to kiss her. “You’re special.”

  Once they got to the car, Brit turned toward her. “Why didn’t you tell me you’d been to the burn unit before? And that you were a donor?”

  “I don’t know. I guess I wanted to surprise you.” She shrugged slightly. “I think I was a little embarrassed, too. I admit my motivation was my guilt for my behavior toward you in school. I was trying to make up for it somehow, so when I found out which hospital you’d been in, I made sure I started to support it as soon as I could.” She scuffed at a stone, unable to meet Brit’s eyes.

  She shivered when Brit traced her ear with her finger. “You’re special, too.”

  Chapter Thirty-three

  “Shall we go into Mackinaw City?” Brittany started the car and waited for Erika’s answer.

  “Sounds good to me. After lunch can we go shopping?”

  “Absolutely.” Brittany hated shopping, but Erika looked so excited, she didn’t have the heart to tell her.

  Erika hopped out of the car as soon as it stopped. The area was full of people strolling on the walkways and going into the many shops. She watched Erika peruse the area while she locked her car and walked toward her.

  “This place is great.” She took Brittany’s hand and pulled her into the first store. “Look.” She held up a T-shirt similar to the seven she’d purchased on Mackinac Island, but with Mackinaw City printed on it. She bought two and handed her one as they walked to the next building, which advertised Tilley hats. “I’ve always wanted one of these.” She tried several on before buying the first one. “Would you like one?” she asked.

  “Thanks, but I already have one. It’s similar to the one you bought.”

  “Do you want to check out a couple more stores before we have lunch?”

  “If you don’t mind. I haven’t had time to just browse through shops in years.”

  Brittany grinned. “Let’s do that. Then there’s a little place around the corner that has great fish and chips.”

  Brittany followed Erika as she wandered through several more shops and helped her juggle her bags to the small restaurant.

  Erika leaned back in her chair at one of the tables on the outside patio. The umbrella blocked the afternoon sun and gave them an opportunity for some people watching. “This has been a wonderful day,” Erika said.

  “It has. I’m glad you agreed to it. Did it help distract you from your work stuff?” Brittany hoped for a positive answer.

  “It did. I’ve decided to take things one day at a time. Maybe something will come up instead of the nude option. In fact, I have a friend and fellow model who recently retired. I’ll give her a call and pick her brain for ideas.”

  “That sounds like a good plan. It’s all we have, one day at a time. Maybe your friend can help you figure out what you can do next.” Brittany took a deep breath remembering how, overnight, her life had changed forever. She was home expecting a spaghetti dinner and the same evening was lying on a gurney in the hospital emergency room. Her plans for school the next day faced a six-month delay. She knew about one day at a time.

  “I’ve had fish all over the world, but that was as good as any I’ve eaten.” Erika sat back with her hands on her flat belly.

  “I’m glad you enjoyed it. I stop here whenever I can.” She finished her iced tea and stood. “Ready to go?” Brittany was ready for Erika’s request for more shopping.

  “Is it all right with you if we sit a bit longer?”

  “Sure.” She sat and ordered two more iced teas.

  “I’d like to talk.” Erika wrapped her hands around her glass. “I didn’t tell you everything Peter said this morning. He told me he couldn’t find any more work for me. His words were they ‘search for fresh, young faces.’ He’s taken on that new model, and I’m left with Naturalé or nothing.” Tears welled in Erika’s eyes and she looked away.

  Brittany searched for words of consolation. She couldn’t tell Erika what to do, but her feelings for her induced her to try to come up with a solution. She needed to convince Erika that she was capable of having a life beyond her modeling career. “You said you have a model friend, but are there other models you could contact to see if their agents have extra work?” She had n
o idea what she was talking about, but Erika’s tears made her want to try.

  “I’ll check it out, but agents are the ones who find work. It’s their job and what they get paid for.”

  Brittany was glad to see Erika’s tears had subsided but she still looked so lost. “Shall we help support a few more retailers before we head home?”

  “Are you offering shopping therapy?” A smile crept across Erika’s face.

  “If it helps.” Brittany took her hand and pulled her out of her seat. She could put up with a few more stops to keep Erika smiling.

  “I think I’d rather just go back. Can we plan another day to go through the fort and lighthouse, too?”

  “Sure. Let’s head home.” Brittany kissed her quickly before starting the car. She mentally considered options Erika might find usable, but without knowing the industry, she was hesitant to suggest any. Unwelcome advice could be a good way to lose a friend, but Erika had opened up about it, right?

  The trip back to the island took less time than Brittany would’ve liked. They’d sat close and held hands on the ferry and they slowed their pace the closer they got to the hotel. She sensed Erika’s mood improving, and she hoped she’d been a part of cheering her up. She worried about the decisions she’d have to make about her future and the nude magazine and how much stress it caused her. She walked her to her hotel room and didn’t resist when she pulled her into the room and into her arms. Erika pushed her up against the closed door and pressed her body against hers while she kissed her. Every nerve in her body tingled, and she gave in to the feeling as she kissed Erika back with fervor.

  She stepped away. “I’ve been wanting to do that all day.” Erika chuckled.

  Brittany collected herself enough to speak. “It sure was nice,” was all she could think to say.

  “Would you like something to drink?” Erika asked.