by Sue MacKay
Instant quiet returned to the area as Becky’s mouth fell open for him. After his examination, he told her, ‘Looking healthy. Now let me touch your neck and throat.’ With gentle fingers he felt for any sign of swelling. ‘Again, all good.’
Molly smiled at her, and his gut twisted. He had it bad. The week since his family had been in town had been sensational. Lots of laughter, shared meals and unbelievable sex. There’d been tender moments too, like when she’d made his favourite breakfast and set it out on the conservatory table with a flower in one of his beer glasses because he didn’t own a vase. He did now. Molly had found him the ugliest pottery creation imaginable at the charity shop. The vase had pride of place in a hidden corner of his office. Molly had threatened to buy flowers and bring the hideous thing out for tomorrow night’s party with the medical team. Who would have believed she could be such a tease? Especially with him. It was great.
‘Becky, you’ll soon get very itchy to go with the pain and swelling.’ Molly nudged him none too gently with her elbow. ‘Dr Lupton will give you something to relieve that as much as possible.’
‘I’ll prescribe a cream to save you having to buy one. Just apply it a couple of times until the itching stops.’ Nathan nodded as he mentally ran through the available remedies, all the while trying not to laugh out loud at Molly’s temerity for giving him the get-a-grip look in here. But she was right. He shouldn’t get distracted by her while at work. Though how not to he had no idea. It would be better to start by staying away from patients she was involved with.
‘So I’m not going to have anaphylactic shock?’ Becky sounded disappointed.
‘No, I’m pleased to say you’re not.’ Did she want attention that badly she’d risk her life? ‘Have you ever seen anyone suffer one?’
‘A boy at school had one once. Everyone was around him like you wouldn’t believe, and he got taken away in the ambulance. He nearly died. Heaps of kids went to see him in hospital afterwards.’
Uh-huh. ‘I think there are better ways of getting people to take notice of you. Like being the person who organises the others to go visiting someone who’s sick. Being the sick person sucks. Apart from the pain and all the things medical staff do to you, it’s boring lying around in bed all day. Especially in hospital where it’s noisy and the nurses come and poke at your body any time they like.’
Molly had turned away, her sexy mouth twitching nonstop.
Becky was eyeing him warily. ‘What’s the food like?’
It was hard not to laugh, even though this was one mixed-up girl. ‘Nothing fancy, but it passes. But you won’t be finding out. You can go home shortly.’ He turned away before Becky could come up with some symptom that might let her stay in overnight. ‘Molly, can you get the cream for Becky when I’ve signed the form?’
‘Sure.’ She turned to their patient. ‘Want your girlfriends to come in now?’
‘They won’t be waiting for me.’
Molly stepped closer to the bed. ‘They were still there fifteen minutes ago. The triage nurse told me.’
‘Really? Can they really come in?’
‘I’ll get them right now.’ Molly headed away.
Nathan went to write up the notes on Becky. Twenty-thirty. Half an hour before he could think about heading home or to Molly’s apartment. Not too long, if all went according to plan.
‘Nathan.’ Mick appeared in front of him. ‘You’re needed in Resus. Unconscious thirty-one-year-old male, fell from the third floor of an apartment, severe head injuries, punctured left lung, fractured femur both legs, and that’s only the obvious.’
He moved fast, heading for Resus right on Mick’s heels. So much for plans. But if he had to be waylaid then this was what he wanted to be doing more than anything.
Except it wasn’t.
They worked their butts off trying to save Mason Haverstock, every staff member in Resus giving their best and more. To no avail. Mason’s heart gave out due to blood loss and trauma from fractured ribs.
Nathan went into withdrawal, automatically closing everything down and signing off the case. Only when he talked to the man’s wife and parents did he drag himself out of the funk the death had brought on—because he understood the pain he was inflicting by telling the crying woman what had happened. His words were intractable, and were stealing her dreams, her love, her future. These moments had always been hard, but for him they’d become almost personal since Rosie’s death.
Next he went for a brisk walk around town, barely noticing the drizzle and cool breeze. What was a bit of weather when your heart was breaking?
* * *
Nearly two hours later he texted Molly from outside her apartment block. You awake? There was light behind the blinds of her bedroom so he wasn’t waking her. He hoped. Anyway, if she was asleep she wouldn’t hear the text land in her phone. He’d given up on the walk, had headed for home, and instead ended up here. Molly would know what he wanted. She also understood pain.
Come up. The door into the building clicked open.
‘I need a hug,’ Nathan said the moment he reached the third floor and found her standing in her doorway, dressed in a thick white robe.
Molly nudged the door shut with her hip and reached for him, wrapped her arms around his waist and pulled him close to nestle her face against his neck. ‘That bad?’
‘That bad.’ He nodded against her. The guy had only been thirty-one, for Pete’s sake. All his life ahead of him. A wife and two little girls left behind. Life was a bitch at times. A real ugly bitch. Nathan’s arms tightened around Molly’s warmth, and he absorbed her strength, the understanding, like a man starved.
Time disappeared as they stood there, Molly’s soft hands beneath his shirt, caressing his back, slowly, tenderly. All he knew was that this was where he had to be, who he had to be with while the darkness roiled, then began to fade.
Finally Molly lifted her head enough to look at him. ‘Tea? Or something stronger?’
He knew too well from the past that something stronger wouldn’t fix his pain over losing a patient. It might blank out things if he drank enough, but those sights would return when he woke up with a mighty hangover and nothing solved. Then he’d feel a failure for being weak. ‘Tea. Lots of it.’
Her smile was filled with understanding and care. Love? No, it couldn’t be. Not this soon. That had to be wishful thinking. He wanted Molly to love him? Possibly. They had been having an amazing time, and he couldn’t see it slowing down any time soon. But was that love? Or was he reacting to the aftermath of a gruelling night in the ED? Her smile had gone right to the tips of his toes, filling every space in his body, and his mind. His arms tightened around her again. ‘In a minute.’
They drank tea, Molly’s legs curled under her curvy butt on the small couch, while Nathan half lay in one of the chairs, stretching his legs across the room, his mug held in both hands as he talked out the gremlins. She asked no questions, made no comments about what he’d done for his patient, just listened, and accepted, and understood.
He hadn’t had that before. Not even from Rosie. She’d hated hearing anything about his work except when they’d saved someone and even then she’d only wanted the bare, happy facts. It was the only area of his life she hadn’t understood as much as he’d wanted. Yet here Molly was, totally getting his mood. As a nurse, she knew what it was like to face hell in the department.
They went to bed, holding each other like they’d never let go. Then in the early hours they made love, slowly, tenderly, and filled with so much care and—and love. Afterwards Nathan lay on his back, his hand on Molly’s butt as she lay sprawled on her stomach, sound asleep, and he stared upwards into the dark.
Love. Was that what this was? This sense of coming home, of belonging to another person in a way not even his family could give him? Love. Yes, that’s what these feelings and sensations were about. Love. That soften
ing in his belly whenever he touched Molly, listened to her sharp voice and her light laughter, smelled her scent, saw that lithe body move sometimes as though on hot coals and at others as though she was dancing through the air.
It had happened in a flash, their relationship doing a one-eighty in weeks. Who’d have believed it could happen to him again? Not again. This was different. With Rosie they’d always been in each other’s lives, had grown up falling in love. With Molly, a snap of his fingers and, voilà, he was a goner.
Rolling onto his side, Nathan scooped Molly against the length of his body and closed his eyes.
* * *
Molly woke instantly. No slow stretching, opening her eyes one at a time. Just ping. It was Saturday morning and tonight was the work barbecue.
Nathan held her against him as though he never wanted to let her go. Soft snores told her he was out to it. Good. He needed to move on from last night’s tragedy. Not that it would vanish from his mind easily. They never did. The downside to working in medicine was the toll it could take. Snuggling harder against him, she thought about last night’s lovemaking. It had been very different from the other times. Slow, and caring. She’d given everything in her to Nathan, hoping to ease his pain. It must’ve worked, judging by his comatose state. He’d never before slept beyond sunrise with her.
Reaching for her phone, she sat up in a hurry when ‘08.05’ blinked at her. There was a dessert to make and get into the freezer before she got ready for basketball, and then she’d promised to go round to Nathan’s house straight after to help with anything he hadn’t got done.
‘Morning,’ came a sleepy voice beside her. Then an arm began pulling her back under the covers.
‘Oh, no, you don’t. We’ve got things to do.’ She pushed away.
Nathan tugged her again, causing her to sprawl across his frame. ‘Starting with this.’
She gave in. How could she not?
It was the perfect way to start the day. Followed by Nathan poaching eggs and frying bacon while she made a lemon dessert. When she felt his gaze on her, she turned from whipping the cream cheese. ‘What?’
‘You’re singing. I like it.’
‘I was?’ Definitely getting back to normal.
Next she hit the court with the Roos, and they stole the game fifty-eight to thirty-five.
Bypassing the after-match celebrations again, Molly headed home for a shower and to get dressed in red and white for the evening. Then she drove to Nathan’s and found Vicki already there, running around with a vacuum cleaner and duster.
‘I don’t know why she’s bothering. By the time everyone leaves tonight the place will be a lot messier than it is now.’ Nathan scratched his head.
‘She needs the distraction,’ Molly muttered. Vicki had been valiantly trying to be cheerful all week since returning from Darwin, but everyone saw through her attempts. ‘It must be hard, saying goodbye to her man so often.’ She’d hate that, couldn’t imagine being married to someone who was often away for long stints.
‘It gets to Cole too,’ Nathan admitted. ‘I don’t know why he went and signed up in the first place. I get wanting to do something for your country, but it’s hard on family and friends, and yourself. I doubt I could do it. In a way I admire him.’
Molly’s sympathy lay with Vicki, but she kept that to herself. Holding up the plastic container she’d brought, she said, ‘I’ll put this in the freezer and find something useful to do.’
‘I hate to tell you this but everything’s pretty much ready. We can kick back and relax once madam’s finished making a racket with the sucky motor machine.’
‘You’ve been spending too much time with your nephews. Sucky motor. I’ll give you sucky.’
‘I wish, but we’re not alone.’
Molly headed for the kitchen, swallowing her laughter. Nathan was so relaxed it was hard to believe he was the same man she’d known only a couple of weeks ago.
‘You two have come a long way in a short time,’ Vicki said with a grin minutes later as she packed the cleaner into its cupboard.
She couldn’t have overheard their banter. ‘True. We’re not about to kill each other any more.’
‘It’s great. He needs someone like you in his life. Make that he needs you.’
Molly looked around for Nathan. Having him overhear Vicki was the last thing she wanted.
‘Relax. He’s out in the conservatory, making sure there’s enough gas for the barbecue. It should’ve been the first thing he checked. But that’s Nathan.’
‘What do you mean by that?’
‘He can be the most disorganised male you’ve ever met when he’s not at work. It used to drive Cole bonkers when they were flatting together.’ Vicki headed for the kitchen. ‘Ready for a drink? I’m not talking coffee or tea.’
‘Why not? Everyone will be turning up soon.’ As long as Vicki didn’t start going on about Nathan she was happy to relax. Relax. A new word in her vocabulary. Suddenly relaxing had become part of her routine, along with having fun and mixing with people without looking over her shoulder. And starting to trust a man. ‘I’ll have a beer.’
‘Coming up.’
She sank down onto the cane couch in the little nook off the kitchen where she could see out across the lawn to the sea, and if she turned her head slightly to the left Nathan out in the conservatory filled her sight, rubbing the stainless-steel lid of the state-of-the-art barbecue, bringing out the shine.
‘Here.’
She took the bottle and settled down further into the thick cushions. ‘This is the life.’ Then she sat up straight. That might sound like she was trying to weave her way into Nathan’s home for her own gain. ‘I mean, how better to spend a Saturday afternoon than with friends?’
‘Take it easy. You’re more than a friend to Nathan.’ Vicki was eyeing her over the top of her own bottle. ‘I meant what I said before. You’re good for him, and I think he’s good for you. I don’t know anything about your life before you came to work with us, but you’ve changed since my birthday. I’m putting some of that down to Nathan. Am I right?’
This was what good friends did. They talked, and then she’d have to give some answers back. She wasn’t ready for that. Or was she? ‘Yes, you’re right.’ Looking outside again, she sighed with happiness. Then an image of Nathan chasing his nephews across the lawn out there swiped her, and the warmth that had started filling her slowed, chilled. Children. He’d made no bones about wanting a family. He’d been honest, whereas she’d lied—if only by omission.
‘Molly? What’s wrong?’
Her gaze drifted back to the man tipping her world upside down. She wanted to tell Vicki nothing was wrong, but she couldn’t. ‘It’s early days. We don’t know each other very well yet.’ She knew he liked having his inner thighs stroked, that it hurt deeply when he lost a patient, that he adored his nieces and nephews. Family. She stood up. ‘Let’s see what else needs doing.’
‘Molly, sit down, and I promise to shut up.’
Because she wanted friends in her life and not just as numbers on her phone, she plonked her backside back on the couch. Anyway, she liked Vicki and didn’t want to upset her. ‘Here’s to a great night.’
‘I’m going to put some music on. I never could understand why Nathan doesn’t have it playing all the time.’
‘Because I like to hear myself think.’ The man himself lounged against the central kitchen bench, a beer between his fingers and a lopsided smile on his face.
Molly sucked in her stomach. It was so unfair. He was gorgeous. He was everything she wanted in a man when she moved forward.
Hey, you are moving forward.
Yes, but there was some way to go before she’d allow permanence into the picture. Even though things were beginning to stack up as she wanted, it was early days.
While the other two gave each other chee
k and talked about people and events she knew nothing about, Molly did some serious thinking. She had begun falling for Nathan too quickly. She trusted him as she’d once trusted Paul. He was fun, and caring, and sharing. Paul had once been fun, and caring, but sharing had been replaced by selfishness. She needed to step back, get to know Nathan better, if he hung around—and he acted as though he intended to.
Which brought her to the real problem. She had to tell him the truth. Because if she did fall in love with him, that was far too late.
‘You going to daydream all afternoon?’ Nathan tapped her shoulder.
If only that’s what she was doing. Forcing a smile, she said, ‘Got any better suggestions?’
He laughed, which went some way to lightening her mood again. But the clock was ticking. She had to tell him she couldn’t have children.
* * *
‘I didn’t think they’d ever leave.’ Nathan locked the door behind Hank and Myra before trailing into the kitchen where Molly was putting the last of the dirty glasses in the dishwasher.
‘They’ve really gone?’ Her knuckles were white as she gripped a dirty beer mug. She’d become more distant as the night had progressed.
What’s up, Mol?
‘The place is quiet, isn’t it? Apart from the music, and I’ve lowered the decibels considerably. I might have to drop leftover desserts in to the neighbours in the morning as an apology.’
‘Good luck with that. I don’t think there’s much left.’ Glasses rattled against the wire rack as she put the mug in the washer.
‘Want a nightcap?’ They could sit and talk in the nook, where it was warm and cosy.
‘No, thanks.’
‘Tea?’
‘No.’
‘Bed?’
Shaking her head, she shut the washer and flicked the dials. Then she leaned back against the bench, her hands gripping the edge of the counter at her sides. Apart from the low hum of water swirling inside the dishwasher the house was quiet. Too quiet. Filling with foreboding.
