by Kelly, A. S.
“I’m her date,” he says, sitting in the now-empty chair opposite me. “No one else.”
“Oh…of course,” the waiter says awkwardly.
“What’s this?” he asks, staring at the plate full of vegetables that Luke ordered. “Please could you bring me something edible? Like steak, with a side portion or steak, stuffed with steak.”
“Of course, sir,” the waiter says, taking the plate of vegetables and disappearing.
“What are you doing here?”
“Pure coincidence.”
“Are you following me?”
“I told you I’d find you, even if you tried to hide.”
“What is this? A little game? A challenge for you?”
“Maybe…”
“I’m really not in the mood to talk to you right now.”
“Maybe you should line your stomach with something other than wine.”
“How did you know that…?”
“Intuition,” he says, shrugging. “And honestly, it really is just a coincidence.”
“Mmm…”
“I came here to meet a friend, and I was just about to go home, but then I saw you here on your own…”
I cross my arms and lean back against the chair.
“Come on, eat. I know how much you like meat, and if you wait much longer it’ll be as tough as old boots.”
I smile, in spite of myself. “So you do remember some things. Just not my phone number.”
“Casey…”
“I’m not having dinner with you, Nick. You had eight years to ask me out.”
“And now I have my whole life to keep asking.”
Don’t fall for it, Casey. It’s just the wine talking: he never really said that. He’s actually not even sitting opposite you, smiling in a way that sends your body up in flames. He isn’t using that seductive tone to make your skin tingle; he’s not looking at you as if you’re a big, juicy steak.
This isn’t happening. It’s all just a figment of my imagination. Actually, no: I’m dreaming. 3, 2, 1, and you’re awake…
“Come on. It’s just dinner.”
Just dinner, he says. As if it would be possible to have just one thing with Nick O’Connor. He always wants everything. One piece, a hand, an arm, isn’t enough for him. He wants it all; but the problem is that, in the end, you’re left with nothing to your name.
“Nick…”
“Do you really want to eat by yourself?”
“I don’t see what’s wrong with that.”
“What’s wrong, Casey, is that a woman like you should never be left to eat alone.”
Was he really just brave enough to tell me that?
“Funny you should say that… Because, from what I remember, you were the first guy to ditch me,” I say, a hint of bitterness creeping into my voice. It’s true that there was nothing between us – nothing amazing, nothing supernatural. He never told me he’d come back for me; but I’d hoped, despite everything.
As soon as I realise that this isn’t a dream, I decide that I don’t have the strength to deal with this tonight. I place my hands on the table and start to get up and leave, when, suddenly, Nick O’Connor – ex-rugby star, ex-model, ex-friend and ex-lover – lifts his gaze and gives me one of his smiles, that says I’m fucking you, and you’ll realise it soon enough.
“I’m here to prove to you that it’ll never happen again.”
And, just like that, I’m right back to where I started.
“I hate you.” The words are out before I’ve even processed them.
“I’ll take that as a ‘yes’,” he says, satisfied, stifling a triumphant smile. This was a terrible idea; but the heat rising quickly between my legs, heading for a much more dangerous place, tells me that eight years have just fallen away in front of my eyes.
And I was the one to push them.
I can’t resist Nick O’Connor. And the worst thing is: he already knows it.
* * *
“Wine?” Nick asks, as the waiter brings over his meal.
“Why not.” Tonight couldn’t get any worse, and I’m certain that all the wine in the world couldn’t affect me as much as Nick O’Connor does, just by sitting across from me.
We eat in silence, the embarrassment of being alone again after so long hanging in the air around us. Not that we ever spent our evenings like this in the past. We usually went to the local pub, drove around in his car, or tried to plan practical jokes to play on the team, sneaking into the gym in the middle of the night. We would break a few rules, stay out past curfew, and then he’d help me clamber up the tree next to my bedroom window so that I could sneak in unnoticed by my dad – who would kill me if he ever found out I’d been hanging around with him. Sometimes Ian and Ryan would come along, too, but they always backed out before we did anything stupid. Besides, Ryan was going out with Lauren at the time, and he usually preferred to spend time with her. Ian had other friends, his teammates. Nick and I were…just the two of us.
“Penny for your thoughts?” Nick says, bringing me sharply back down to reality.
I lift my eyes and look at him.
“Is something wrong?”
“Something? More like everything.”
“Why don’t we talk about it?”
“Well, for a start, he just left me here. On my own.”
“Dick move,” he says, smugly.
“You can hardly talk.”
He raises his hands. “Okay, I’ll shut up and listen.”
“That’s a first.”
“There’s a first time for everything,” he says suggestively.
“Not for what you’re thinking of.”
“And what am I thinking of?”
“Something that’ll never happen. Not even in another eight years.”
He looks at me playfully, before motioning with his hand for me to continue.
“And now, I’m sat here with you.”
“I think that’s an upgrade.”
“What?”
“From the surgeon, to me.”
And the problem is that he’s so convinced. I don’t think there’s a man on the planet with more self-confidence than Nick O’Connor.
“You keep telling yourself that,” I shoot back.
“I always tell the truth. You know that.”
“Of course. Like the time you said you’d come back?” Now it really is the wine talking.
He looks at me for a few moments, wordlessly. I know he’s considering his response. Alongside his honesty and his spontaneity, I’m starting to think that this man calculates his every move down to the finest detail.
“Do you want to know the truth, Casey?” he says, his tone uncharacteristically serious. “I should never have let anyone else take a place that doesn’t belong to him.”
“Are you talking about a seat in a restaurant?”
He keeps staring at me, but doesn’t respond. He likes what he’s doing – he’s really enjoying it. He’s playing around with me, watching me squirm. He’s pushing me to his feet, before disappearing for another eight years.
Do you like a challenge, Nick O’Connor? Maybe your memory’s gone blank, and you’ve forgotten how much I like a challenge, too. Maybe you don’t know that, over the years, I’ve learnt to trick people.
28
Nick
There, it’s all coming out now. Just as I planned.
“I’m talking about everyone who’s sat next to you over the years. About everyone who looked at you, spoke to you, held your hand. Everyone who even dreamed of touching you, and everyone who kissed you. Everyone who upset you, made you cry or made you angry. Everyone who tried – helplessly – to make you laugh. Everyone who tried to get you into bed with them, and everyone who…succeeded.”
She shakes her head and looks away. “You’re always so confident.”
“Confident about the effect I have on you.”
“Oh, really…?” she says, slowly chewing her food. “Is that why you’ve brought along your
little entourage of idiots?” She gestures behind her.
A few tables back, hidden, but not quite well enough, are my arsehole brothers. Apparently, they don’t think I’m capable of going for dinner without them. It’s impossible not to notice them.
“Fucking idiots,” I comment, shaking my head.
“So, let’s see… You’re so confident that you asked for their help. The fact that Evan’s here too tells me that it’s no coincidence that Luke was called out for an emergency. Should I ask Martin?”
Okay, so this first attempt was an absolute disaster. But I can still make up for it.
“Doesn’t it just prove how determined I am?”
“About what?”
“You. With me.”
She bursts out laughing, so loudly that people at the other tables start to turn around.
“You don’t need to go through all the theatrics. It won’t work on me.”
“What does work, then?”
“Are you seriously asking me that? Are you actually that desperate?”
“Desperate to have you in my bed.”
There, I said it. It’s useless trying to take it back. And, judging by the heat radiating from her cheeks, I reckon I’ve hit the right button.
“Your bed…” she says, composing herself. “So that’s what this is about. You missed out on the opportunity eight years ago, so now you thought you’d give it another go.”
“Casey, please. I never had the chance.”
She looks at me, her brow furrowed.
“We both know it would never have happened that night.”
“You’ll never know, because you left.”
“It wasn’t what you wanted.”
“Maybe I just wanted to have fun with a good friend.”
“No, Casey. That wasn’t what you were looking for. You wanted something else. You wanted everything.”
Casey’s eyes widen in shock. Maybe she didn’t expect me to be so tuned-in; didn’t expect me to see right through her thoughts.
“You wanted me.”
She sighs, then lowers her gaze. I know that she’s about to lie to me, and I know that she doesn’t have the courage to say it to my face.
“I wanted that, Nick,” she whispers. “I used to. But not anymore.”
“You’re lying. You still want it.”
“You’re forgetting that I’m sleeping with someone else.”
Don’t do it, Casey. Don’t say it.
“I like going out with him and…I’m satisfied.”
She said it.
The handsome surgeon has just been renamed. Now he’s the dead surgeon.
“You’re only saying that because you don’t know what you’re missing.”
“Oh, please. Go on. Tell me what I’m missing.”
She takes a sip of her wine, trying to calm her nerves; I know what she wants me to say, but she has to find it out for herself. She has to want to find out.
“If I tell you now, you’ll want me to take you away right now and prove to you that everything I said is true.”
I see her hand, which is clasped around her wine glass, start to tremble.
Oh, Casey. Words could never describe the things I want to do with you.
“Would you take me back to your super-luxurious penthouse, whip out the jacuzzi and some vintage wine, and make me fall to your feet?”
“Actually, it would only take one thing.” I lean closer to her, one elbow on the table. “My body. Sweaty, excited, pressed against yours. It would only take one night together, wherever you want. Just once. And, I assure you: you wouldn’t be able to help yourself.”
She slams her glass down on the table, wine sloshing over the rim.
“You’re not that irresistible, O’Connor. Aren’t all your other women enough for you?”
So, the jealousy card works both ways. Well, let’s give it a go.
“Does it annoy you?”
“Mmm?”
“That I’ve slept with hundreds of women?” Okay, so I’ve rounded the number up a little.
She laughs again, but this time, it’s forced. “I don’t think it would take you too long to find another hundred. At least, not until your good looks fade. Because, from what I can see, they’re already starting to go.”
Fading? Like fuck.
Just wait until I get her into bed with me, and she’ll see. She won’t be able to stand up straight for a week.
“You’d better hurry up, and stop wasting your time on me.” She gets to her feet, leaving half her meal untouched.
I get up, too.
“Thanks for dinner, and for this lovely reunion, but I really have to go. I have work tomorrow – you know, like normal people do – but I don’t even think you know what I’m talking about.”
She grabs her bag and turns to the table where my brothers are sitting. She waves at them and they wave back, like the utter dickheads that they are. I watch her as she leaves the restaurant, storming past the window, before crossing the road, heading towards the taxi rank.
“Wow. Well done, Nick.” Ryan appears at my table, followed by Ian and Evan. “You scared her off. Again.”
“Fuck off.”
“I’ll go and see if she’s okay,” Evan tries, but Ian stops him with one arm.
“Go, run after her. I’ve got it covered,” he says.
At least one of my brothers is useful sometimes.
I dash out of the restaurant too, running across the road. I reach her and grab her by the arm, making her jump so much that she literally falls into my arms.
I swear, you can’t make this stuff up.
Her hands are gripping my shirt, her hair tickling my nose, intoxicating me with its freshly-washed scent. My hands are resting against her warm shoulders. Her deep, clear eyes are reflecting my own. Her heat, her body. My heart, which beats against hers. Her nearness, suffocating me.
“Nice move, O’Connor,” she says, composing herself and backing quickly away from me. “But it won’t help you.”
“No?”
She shakes her head and steps back. “I’m immune to your charm, to your moves. I’m immune to you.”
I take a step towards her. “Are you sure about that?” I lean my forehead down to meet hers, and her breath flutters against my face.
“Absolutely,” her lips say; but her tingling body, brushing against mine, tells a whole different story.
My hand slides round to the nape of her neck, underneath her hair, tracing along her hot skin. I can feel her goosebumps under my fingers. I pull her into me and, before she can even realise, her mouth is already mine.
I’m not wasting time. I’m not playing around.
This is serious, now.
I kiss her lips, taking them between my own. They taste like that night, eight years ago, mixed with wine and steak. Her resistance crashes against my desire, exploding inside my chest and ricocheting into her own.
One kiss, which tastes like years of distance and longing. It tastes of mistakes, of sadness, of everything we never were. But it also tastes like what could be; of promises I could make, and the life I could give to her.
One kiss that tastes like us.
Casey parts her lips, and I slide my tongue inside, making the most of this moment: of her body surrendering to mine, of the madness of our senses.
I take her breath, her reasoning; I steal her away from her reality and land her directly into mine, because it’s the only place she should be. I need to make her understand what it means to want something for eight years, and not be able to have it.
My kiss tells her everything she needs to hear.
I explore every corner of her mouth, imprinting myself into her. That way, every second that we’re apart, she’ll be reminded of what it means to feel Nick O’Connor, and everything he can give.
I want to leave Nick O’Connor inside her, so that she never forgets him.
I pull away slowly, opening my eyes to meet hers. They’re lit by the same flame that burns
through my whole body. I take her bottom lip between my teeth, nibbling gently at it before letting it go, as she sighs, full of hope and longing. My hand slides round from her neck and strokes her face; I lightly trace my thumb along her reddened lips, as she gazes up at me, confused by what just happened, by her own emotions.
I know what you’re feeling, Casey. And I’m here to give it to you.
I take a few steps back, leaving her pressed against the wall. I turn and flag down one of the taxis parked up in the road. I take her hand and lead her over to the window, opening the door and helping her inside. She follows me, in total stupor.
I lean down next to her, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear, before whispering:
“Think of this the next time your surgeon tries to kiss you.”
Casey’s head flicks sharply upwards; and, from her expression, I realise she’s about to tell me where to fuck off. Maybe I deserve it. But I’m not going anywhere.
I close the door and nod to the driver to head off.
This game only has one outcome.
And only one winner.
29
Casey
“Martin Kane! I swear, I’m going to kill you with my bare hands and no one in this hospital will try to resuscitate you!” I storm furiously into the hospital staff room, and everyone turns to look at me.
Martin stands his ground. His face tells me that he knows he’s done something he shouldn’t, but also that he’s happy with how his plan turned out.
He crosses the room to approach me, smiling sheepishly, before grabbing my arm and leading me outside. We head towards the emergency exit and step outside onto the stairwell.
“Now you can scream as much as you like,” he says, sitting down on one of the metal steps.
“Don’t you want a few witnesses?”
“I want to avoid you looking like a crazy lady. You still need this job.”
“Wow, that’s so thoughtful of you… I could’ve used some of that thoughtfulness yesterday when you decided to get involved with that ridiculous O’Connor scheme. What was it: did you want to be part of the old gang?”
