The Queen of Zombie Hearts

by Gena Showalter

  "Let me guess. Mr. Knuckle Scars."

  "Yeah. How'd you know?"

  "We have similar taste." Proof: we'd both dated Cole. "He would have been my choice, too." And not just for his rugged appeal.

  Every slayer in the war against Z's had lost loved ones to bites and battle wounds, and the sorrow and grief tended to build barriers around our hearts. More and more, it became clear that the strong had a better chance of survival; Knuckle Scars had definitely been the strongest of the bunch.

  Shockingly enough, Frosty--who had lost more than most--was the exception to my theory. He'd fallen for Kat despite her kidney disease. But I wasn't going to think about her illness and the pain she was--and would be--forced to endure. I'd break down and be forced to compartmentalize, shoving the heartbreak into a deep, dark corner of my mind, to be dealt with later.

  My compartments were almost full.

  I'd told myself I'd stop doing it, stop locking away the hard emotional crap and finally deal with my feelings, but I'd fallen back into the habit...and honestly, I wasn't in any hurry to change.

  "Where are we going?" Mackenzie settled behind the wheel of her truck. "It's too early for patrol."

  Oh, yeah. We had to patrol for zombies this evening. We'd be with Gavin the man-whore--another one of my pet projects, despite his warped sense of humor--and the mostly silent Bronx. Time was limited.

  "We're going to Tatty's," I said and explained why.

  "I'd advise you to play a little hard to get, but I swear, it doesn't matter what you do. Cole thinks it's the most adorable thing ever. It makes me want to stab you both in the eye."

  A few weeks ago, she would have spat those words at me like weapons. Because the moment Cole had displayed an interest in me--which had been at moment one, thank you very much--she'd hated me.

  My sparkling personality had eventually won her over.

  Fine. Personality had nothing to do with it. We were soldiers in a war, and we were fighting for the same side. A bond had formed.

  "If you stab us both in the eye, we will wear matching patches and pretend to be pirates," I said. "You'll wish you'd stabbed yourself instead."

  She shuddered. "You still have an evil side, I see."

  "Yes, and your tears are the food she craves."

  Mackenzie almost cracked a smile.

  I scanned the parking lot when we reached our destination, fighting disappointment when I couldn't locate Cole's Jeep.

  Maybe he'd walked? You know, for exercise. As if he didn't get enough at his gym, running the treadmill, lifting weights and boxing in the ring. But he wasn't inside, and my disappointment intensified.

  I could call or text him, I supposed, but this wasn't just girls' day out. It was boys' day out, too. He could still be with Gavin, Bronx and new-to-the-team Justin. Well, new again. Long story.

  "Do you have a few hours to spare?" I asked Mackenzie.

  "Is my other choice heading back to Choco Loco?"

  "Yes."

  "Then I do."

  I headed to the back of the shop with Artist Guy, the man who'd done my other tattoos. There were two, one on each wrist; the reason he already had my permission slip on file. The first one he'd given me was the white rabbit to represent my sister, Emma. She might be dead, but she still came to visit me. The second, a pair of swords in the shape of a cross to represent my parents.

  "Tell me what you want," he said as I settled into the seat.

  I'd thought about this for quite some time. Everything we felt always found a way to manifest outwardly. Smiles, frowns. Laugh lines. Scowl lines. This was my way of showing my love for the family and friends I'd lost.

  "To start, I want a phoenix on the back of my neck." This would represent Cole. I hadn't lost him--and wouldn't!--but he still deserved a place of honor. With his help, I'd risen from the ashes of my past and forged a new future. "Then I want a pair of boxing gloves above the daggers." They would represent Pops, my grandfather, who'd been killed by zombie toxin. As a teenager, he'd trained in the ring, and throughout the rest of his life, he'd taken hard knocks with grace and bravery.

  Artist Guy got to work, and though I'd done this before and had known what to expect, it still hurt. Bad. By the time he finished, my neck and arm throbbed incessantly.

  "Well? What do you think?" he asked.

  I studied the boxing gloves and smiled. They looked like they were made of tattered brown leather, with a bowed string holding them together. "Perfection."

  "As if I could do anything less."

  Men and their egos.

  I approached the full-length mirror hanging on the wall. Hand trembling, I lifted my hair and turned to the side while glancing over my shoulder. My breath hitched. The bird's head was light green and came up to my hairline. The wings were a rainbow of colors, each crackling with golden flames, wrapping around both sides of my neck, stretching toward my ears. The belly was a mix of red and gold and centered on the ridges of my spine, while the tail was shaped and shaded like peacock feathers, stopping between my shoulder blades.

  "It's...it's..." I gasped. "I don't even have words."

  "I know," he replied. "I'm amazing. It's the best work you've ever seen. Blah, blah."

  Cole was going to flip out.

  "You remember how to prevent infection?" he asked.

  "Yes." I paid him and joined Mackenzie in the lobby. Her reaction to the ink was similar to mine. Total shock and awe.

  "As much as I'd love to stay and stare, we'd better go." She gestured to the outside world. "Darkness is rolling in."

  I glanced out the window, and sure enough, the sunlight was muted. Well, crap. Night came earlier and earlier. We hardly had time for rest and relaxation anymore.

  When had we ever?

  But we were trying. All slayers--including our mascots, Reeve and Kat--had recently enrolled in a home-study program, leaving the classroom behind. With our schedules, we'd been missing class or, when we had shown up, falling asleep. Our grades had been slipping. Now we had a little control.

  Out of habit, I searched the sky for a rabbit-shaped cloud. Anytime my sister noticed zombies stirring in their nests, preparing to brave the wild and hunt a meal, she created one just for me. Right now, there wasn't one. Good.

  Tonight I would go through one neighborhood after another, searching for Z's, protecting homes. If all went well--and that's how it was looking--I'd finish around 3:00 a.m. Boys' day out would be officially over.

  "Let's go," I said.

  We piled into Mackenzie's truck and headed to the gym, where we would begin. Along the way, I texted Cole.

  U'll B home 2nite, yeah?

  His response came lightning-fast. Yeah. U got plans 4 me?

  Me: If there aren't any Z's 2 fight, guess I'll have 2 settle 4 getting my hands on U.

  Cole: Settle away. I'll B w8ing.

  Me: BTW, I have surprise 4 U.

  Cole: Naked surprise?

  Me: Better.

  Cole: Nothing better.

  Me: Prepare to have UR mind blown!

  Me: I MEAN CHANGED. CHANGED.

  Cole: Hahaha. I prefer blown. & right back at ya, babe.

  I stored my phone away.

  "You're practically glowing with happiness." Mackenzie pretended to gag. "Tell me you're still capable of killing zombies and that you're not considering spraying them with rainbow dust."

  As if I'd waste rainbow dust on zombies. "Don't you worry about me, love bug. You want to know why there's no sign of life on Mars? Because I've been there."

  She tried to hide her grin. "If you tell me Death once had a near-Ali Bell experience, I think I'll risk a little pirate role-playing and just go ahead and stab your eye."

  "Why would you want to eye-gouge the girl who's counted to infinity--twice? The girl who can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves? The girl who can start a fire by rubbing two ice cubes together?"

  "Definitely going to eye-gouge you," she muttered.

  I laughed. "All's
I'm saying is that I'm ready for tonight...no matter what happens."

  Chapter 2

  BY THE SKIN AND THE TEETH

  It was 3:04 a.m., and, as expected, there was no sign of zombies. I was now off duty, but not expected home until 7:00 a.m.

  Life couldn't get any more perfect.

  Oh, wait. It could. Mackenzie and Bronx lived with Cole and his dad, Mr. Tyler Holland, and they'd decided to spend the rest of the night at the gym. I hadn't said a word about my plans with Cole, but my ear-to-ear smile might have given me away.

  Gavin offered to take me home. Ever the gentleman, he opened the passenger side of his car for me.

  "I've got people to do and things to see." He motioned me inside. "Hop to, cupcake."

  "Thank you."

  "Don't get used to it."

  He meant that with every fiber of his being. Shouldn't laugh. I adored the guy, but I wasn't blind to all of his faults.

  One of my faults: I found every one of his charming.

  He settled behind the wheel and gunned the engine, the ice on the window melting. He eased onto the road and said, "So, when do you get your license?"

  "Next week." There'd been a time I'd wanted to vomit blood at even the thought of controlling the metal death trap known as car, but battling an evil zombie-twin version of myself--don't ask--kind of put things in perspective. "Why? Are you tired of chauffeuring me around?"

  "Nope. Just want to make sure I move to another state in time. You're a tragic accident waiting to happen." He cursed. "Sorry. Didn't mean to go there."

  "Don't worry about it. We both know I make the geriatric crowd look like NASCAR champions." I had a love/hate relationship with speed. I loved slow and hated fast.

  "Exactly my point," Gavin said. "There's such a thing as road rage, and I has it."

  "You has a whole lot of other things, too," I muttered.

  "True, and they're all awesome."

  I rolled my eyes. "By the way, you're not taking me home. You're taking me to Cole's." At least, I hoped. I texted him, praying he hadn't fallen asleep.

  No Z's, I typed. U ready 4 me?

  His reply came within seconds. Ready? Ali-gator, U have no idea. Hope UR in the mood 2 play Hungry Zombie & Helpless Human, because I want a nibble. How soon can U get here?

  Me, my heart fluttering with excitement: 10 minutes.

  Cole: Make it 5.

  Me, my heart fluttering a thousand times faster: Done!

  Cole: Bro and Mac w/U?

  Me: Nope. They love us enough 2 give us nite 2 ourselves.

  Cole: Perfect. I'll turn off alarm & unlock my window.

  Gavin winked at me. "So tonight's the night, huh? Finally gonna get that cherry popped."

  No way. There was just no way he'd gone there. "You are such a pig."

  "Pigs are cute."

  "And filthy."

  "The perfect combination."

  It was impossible to insult someone who never took offense. "Look, I'm not going to discuss my sex life--or lack of one--with you, of all people."

  Undeterred, he said, "Unless you break your neck on the way in, you're diving into that boy's bed the second you get there, and we both know it."

  Good glory. He and Nana were a tag team, and I wasn't sure which one had the better right cross.

  "So...you want any tips for taking things from ordinary to extraordinary?" he asked. "I'm something of a sex-pert."

  "Actually, you're something of a slut-pert."

  "Don't be ridiculous. That's not even a word."

  I couldn't judo-chop his airway. He would lose control of the car and crash. "Why don't I just cut off my ears and give them to you?" I muttered to myself. "It would hurt less than this conversation."

  "Fine. Be that way. Fumble around in the dark. See if I care."

  "You totally shouldn't care!"

  "Well, I do. You're my cupcake. I happen to think you deserve to be frosted just--"

  "Don't you dare finish that sentence or I swear I'll start a douche-bag jar and make you put a fiver in it."

  He grinned at me. "It'd be a douche-purse jar, and you know it."

  Never going to live that down. Nana and her "teen-speak" would haunt me for the rest of my life. "Why don't you tell me all about your first time, hmm? Was it special? Did you cover your bed in rose petals?"

  "It was the most specialest," he answered, deadpan. "And yes."

  I rolled my eyes again. I rarely left his presence without giving him five good ones. "Whatever. This subject is closed, Barbie, so you can shut it now or lose your tongue."

  He didn't shut it. Of course. "Barbie? That's the nickname you pick for me?"

  "Hate it?" I asked with a smirk. A girl could only hear "cupcake" so many times before she had to strike back.

  "Absolutely love it. I've always suspected you want to take me out and play with me."

  See! Impossible!

  "Anyway," he continued, "how are you going to seduce Cole Has All the Luck Holland?"

  I snorted. "Are you serious? Like a girl really needs to do anything more than breathe."

  He shook his head and tsked, as if to say I pity you. "Listen up, cupcake. I'm about to drop major pearls of wisdom."

  "Even though I know how rare wisdom-dropping is for you, please, don't."

  "If I want to get a chick into bed, I say one of two things. 'I screwed up.' Or 'let's talk about it.' Boom. Clothes are flying, limbs are tangled and freaky things are happening. But if you say those things to Cole, he's such a pansy he'll be over and done in his jeans before the good stuff even starts."

  "Give me a minute to get over my shock that you're still single."

  "I know, right. You'll probably need more than a minute, though. It's a real mind puzzler."

  "Look, some couples care about more than sex." I thought about the way Cole sometimes looked at me, as if the sun rose and set just for me. "They care about connecting."

  "You're proving my point for me. They care about connecting...physically."

  "Mentally. Emotionally."

  "Honey buns, only one half of the couple cares about the mental and emotional, and here's a hint--it's not the guy. But I digress. You're just going to jump him, aren't you? No muss, no fuss--you'll just tear off his clothes and show him who's boss." He wiggled his brows. "Why, Ali Bell, I didn't know you had it in you."

  Question: If I gutted him like a zombie, would anyone actually convict me of a crime?

  Answer: No! Everyone would thank me.

  "Just...concentrate on the road," I said.

  He obeyed, which made me suspicious of his next move. I studied his profile. He could have been plucked straight out of a magazine. An underwear ad. Hence the nickname I'd given him. He was pretty-boy beautiful, with blond hair and sparkling eyes of green and gold.

  "You're staring," he said. "Thinking about doing me now? Well, I hate to break it to you, cupcake, but that ship has sailed."

  Third eye-roll. "Trying to figure you out."

  "Although," he continued, as if I hadn't spoken, "I could probably be convinced to show you how a real man pleases a woman after Cole screws everything up. You know, as an act of mercy."

  "I'd rather a zombie show me. You will never be a candidate." Keeping him humble was a service I offered free of charge--and I still wasn't sure I was getting my money's worth.

  He shrugged. "Your loss."

  "You're only being so generous--" I nearly choked on the word "--because you don't like being told no."

  "Or because chicks are like candy, and it's my mission to taste-test all the different flavors."

  Fourth eye-roll. "Roughly four weeks ago, you claimed you wanted to find true love and become part of a meaningful relationship."

  "Roughly four weeks ago, I was an idiot," he replied with a shudder.

  I shook my head in exasperation. "You're an STD waiting to happen. You know that, don't you?"

  "Super talented director?" He hiked his shoulders. "Not sure I want to get into the mov
ie business, but okay."

  "Wrong. So totally douchey. And you're already in deep."

  He flipped me off, and when I laughed, he pressed his finger against my nose. "I take it Cole's dad has no idea you'll be staying over and corrupting his son."

  "That's right." Just to be contrary, I added, "I'm going to corrupt him so hard."

  Gavin gave a dramatic sigh. "If I didn't like Cole so much, I'd hate him. That prick always gets the rare, limited-time flavors." He eased the car to a stop beside the curb and killed the lights.

  My mind instantly switched tracks, my heart drumming with excitement. In less than a minute, I would be in Cole's arms.

  "Thanks for the ride, Gavin."

  "Anytime, cupcake. Even if it wasn't the ride I wanted to give you."

  "Good glory." I removed one of my gloves and threw it at him.

  He caught and kissed it.

  An-n-nd there went the fifth eye-roll.

  There went another answering grin.

  I abandoned the warmth of the car for the frigid chill of the night, my boots crunching in ice as I raced toward the spacious one-story with red brick and white wood trim. In my eagerness, I missed the rock in my path and tripped.

  A+, self.

  Cole's window was in back, the first on the left. It was unlocked, just as he'd promised. I scrambled inside as quietly as possible and closed the glass behind me.

  Before I could turn around or adjust to the deeper darkness of the room, I was grabbed.

  A hard hand clamped over my mouth, silencing my gasp. Another hand wrapped around me, pinning my arms to my sides to prevent my elbows from doing any damage.

  "I said five minutes, Miss Bell." Cole's low, husky voice caressed me, draining the fight right out of me. "You took eight. Do you know what that means?"

  I swallowed a giggle. "I need to buy a watch?"

  "You're finally getting that spanking I've been promising you." His hands fell away, and I spun to face him, keeping my eyes to the floor out of habit.

  Usually, when our eyes met for the first time during any given day, we had a vision of our future. We'd caught a glimpse of each other earlier this morning, saving us the hassle now.

  I was glad.

  What we'd seen... I hadn't let myself think about it, too afraid I'd break down. Cole, leaning against a tree, crimson streaking his face and chest, soaking his hands, his expression a mix of unequaled pain and immeasurable grief as I walked away from him.

  Walked. Away.

  There was no reason good enough for that.

  How badly was he injured? When would the vision come true? In a few days? Weeks? Months? There had never been any sort of time limit. The only guarantee was that it would happen. We'd never managed to stop one.