The Queen of Zombie Hearts

by Gena Showalter

  "I won't--unless he messes with me and mine."

  "Fair enough." She motioned me forward. "Let's get back and make sure our boys haven't killed each other."

  Chapter 13

  GREAT MINDS

  TASTE ALIKE

  I returned to the sitting room to find Cole on a couch, River settled comfortably in the chair across from him. Knuckle Scars had taken off.

  "--your problem. You play by their rules," River was saying.

  "I don't put my people in unnecessary danger, you mean," Cole countered.

  "Some risks are worth taking."

  "No life is worth losing."

  Tone wry, River said, "Then you haven't met the right people."

  Camilla cleared her throat. Neither boy displayed an ounce of surprise as they glanced over at us, proving they'd never lost awareness of their surroundings.

  I smiled at Cole, and he smiled back, the air between us crackling with electricity. There'd always been an undeniable awareness between us, like calling to like.

  "Well. This isn't awkward at all," River quipped.

  Cole waved me over; I walked to him, wanting to tell him about the papers, and when we were alone, I would, but I wasn't sure what to say about Helen. If she was, in fact, helping me, I couldn't allow him to discount the papers just because she'd been the one to point them out.

  What a mess.

  He tugged me beside him and anchored his arm around my shoulders. Once again his warmth enveloped me, and this time, it was like a drug. I had to fight the urge to lean closer...closer... Heck, why not just climb into his lap?

  Camilla moved behind River, forgoing the empty chair and choosing to stand. She was unwilling to give up the advantage of height, I was sure, because she so rarely had it.

  "So," I said, taking over the conversation, "what do you know about our friend Justin?" Camilla and Stocky had mentioned River had some inside info.

  "She's all business, this one." River grinned at Cole. "I like that."

  "Justin," Cole prompted.

  Leaning back in his chair, River sipped at a glass of amber liquid. Something alcoholic, judging by the potent scent. "I have spies inside Anima, and while they didn't know what the powers that be were planning, they knew something big was about to go down. We've been watching their warehouses."

  Plural. Not singular. "We will want the address of every warehouse you know about."

  He nodded. "Of course. But they've already been emptied out. All of them, not just the one you checked out."

  So agreeable now. He'd want something in return, guaranteed.

  "You should have given me a heads-up," Cole said.

  "Would you have given me a heads-up?" River asked, brows lifted.

  "No," Cole admitted. "But that's something we should change, isn't it." A statement, not a question. "We're on the same side of this war."

  River blinked in astonishment. He'd clearly thought Cole would be unreasonable. "Over the past week, activity increased at all four warehouses, but we saw nothing else out of the ordinary. Until two nights ago."

  I tensed, not really wanting to hear the gory details of Collins's death, but knowing I needed to. We needed to.

  Cole was as tense as I was.

  "They brought in the guy with the shaved head first," River began.

  "Collins," I whispered.

  "Where were you, that you saw this?" Cole asked.

  I blinked back tears.

  "In the rafters," River said.

  I pictured the warehouse, looking at it through the eyes of memory. The ceiling...had thick wooden rafters, I realized.

  "They took him to the center of the warehouse," the slayer continued, his tone grimmer by the second, "and forced him to his knees. The other one, the dark-haired one, arrived a few minutes later. He was so drugged he couldn't stand, so they dumped him beside the other guy--Collins, you called him."

  Stay strong.

  "The Anima men talked amongst themselves for a bit. They decided they only needed one slayer." It was like River flipped some sort of switch. One second he was animated and the next he was utterly emotionless. "They took out a gun and shot your boy point-blank, then dumped him in a hole in the ground. I'm sorry."

  Cole sucked in a breath.

  I knew he'd been picturing everything River explained; I knew, because I'd been doing the same thing. We would forever have a mental video of Collins jerking from the force of the bullet. Gray matter exploding through a hole in the back of his head. He collapsed to the floor.

  No wonder there'd been sand. They'd used it to absorb the blood.

  What a cruel and horrific death. Wrong on every level.

  My nails bit into my thighs. I wished I could comfort Cole, but I couldn't even comfort myself. It took every ounce of strength I had not to curl into a ball and sob.

  "They loaded the dark-haired boy in a car and drove off," River said. "I had a slayer on the road, waiting, and he followed, but I haven't heard from him since. A few of my guys are out looking for him."

  As much as I hated to think it...River's guy was probably dead. Otherwise, he would have checked in.

  "We'll want to know the moment he's found," Cole said.

  "Of course." There was a pause before River added, "But I'll expect something in return."

  Cole nodded, flipping the same switch, going emotionless.

  Had I not known him so well, I would have thought him heartless. But I did know him, and I knew he was struggling to hold it together, just like me. I leaned my head against his shoulder. My eyelids instantly grew heavy, and I had to blink faster than usual to keep them open.

  "Normally I charge a very steep price for this type of info," River said, "but all I want from you is an equal exchange. Whatever you learn, I want to know."

  Please. He'd want more, and soon, no question. He had gimme written all over him.

  "Done," Cole agreed. "What about your spies on the inside? Have they learned anything else?"

  "Not really. They aren't all that high on the totem yet, but they're digging for information, and they're not going to stop until they've got something. Because here's the thing. Anima hurt your people, hurt them bad, but they blamed my people, which means they're determined to take us both out, and fast."

  "And if they can't do it," Cole said, rubbing his fingers over his jaw stubble, "they'll be satisfied if we take each other out."

  River nodded. "Exactly. By the way, the second you cleared the warehouse, I had a team go through it, as well as the alleyways, and wipe your prints. They'll move your boy and bury him here with our slayers. If that's agreeable to you."

  Had they gotten up and walked away from me? They sounded faraway, as if they'd moved to the other side of the room. I tried to open my eyes, to no avail. And then even their voices were lost to me. I was floating...drifting away...

  And, oh, wow, there was Helen and the little girl. They were inside a small bedroom. The girl, perhaps five now, sat at the edge of an unmade bed while Helen shoved toys and clothing inside a bag.

  "I don't want to leave you, Momma. Please."

  "I'm sorry, sweetheart, but you must."

  Tears ran down the girl's cheeks.

  "Mommy's made so many mistakes. This is the only way to make things right, to give you the life you deserve."

  "I don't want a life I deserve. I want you."

  Helen froze. Her back was to the little girl, but I could see her face. She was choking back quiet sobs, and it was breaking my already tattered heart. Her inner pain was so staggering, I didn't know how she would be able to bear it much longer.

  But she pulled herself together somehow, wiped her eyes and turned to give her daughter a faux bright smile. "Think of this as an adventure."

  "No," the girl said, petulant.

  "You'll finally get to meet your father. I told him about you, and he's excited to see you."

  "Don't care."

  Helen crouched in front of her. "Listen to me. I know you hate when we
visit the people in the lab coats. Right? They stick you with needles. They strap you to tables, and no matter how hard you fight, you can't get free."

  The little girl shuddered.

  I had to look away. My attention snagged on a calendar hanging on the wall. According to it, this had happened eleven years ago. The girl had to be a year older than I'd been at the time.

  "Well, they want to keep you now. They want to take you away from me forever."

  A continuous shake of that white-blond head.

  "I don't want that for you. That's why you have to go away. Your daddy will keep you safe."

  "Come with me. Stay with me and my daddy. Please, Momma. Please."

  Pain...desperation...so strong even I felt them soul-deep. Don't send her away, I thought. She needs you, just as you need her.

  But Helen was made of sterner stuff and returned to her packing. "I've already made the arrangements. I've planned everything, down to the last detail. They'll think that you're... Well, all you need to know is that you'll never have to worry about them again."

  The scene faded and I floated away. I fought to stay, grabbing at walls, digging in my nails.

  "Ali, love, wake up."

  Cole's voice startled me, yanking me the rest of the way out, and I jolted upright with a gasp.

  Strong arms banded around me, tugging me back down, forcing me to lie against a warm, strong chest. Familiar. Cole's chest. I sagged against him.

  "You were thrashing. You okay?" he asked, tracing his fingertips along the ridges of my spine.

  A tremor swept through me. "Nightmare." For Helen and the little girl.

  Why was I seeing them in my dreams?

  "I happen to be a very good nightmare slayer," Cole said. "Want to tell me about it?"

  Not even a little. "Where are we?" I asked. Moonlight spilled into a small room I didn't recognize. There was a desk, a dresser and a bed. Wallpaper covered the walls in patches, and the dark shag carpet sported several bald spots.

  "We're at River's place," he said gently. "Remember? He gave us a room for the night."

  That was all well and good, but... "We trust him enough to stay?"

  "Right now, we don't really have a choice. We need his help."

  "And he needs ours," I reminded us both.

  "Yes. In the morning, he and Milla are going with us to Ankh's. We've seen their base of operation, and now they want to see ours."

  First: Cole got to call River's sister by her nickname, but I didn't?

  That blew chunks!

  Second: River's desire to see Mr. Ankh's place would have been suspicious if not so understandable. I couldn't fault him for it.

  "I can't believe I fell asleep and missed the rest of the conversation," I grumbled.

  "I can. You've been running on empty for too long. You needed rest." He caressed my cheek, my jaw...my neck. Each stroke took him lower, until he was drawing a line in the center of my chest. "But you're awake now," he whispered huskily. "Clearly in need of a distraction."

  Another tremor swept over me; this time, it sprang from a sweeter, hotter emotion. "You going to do something about that?"

  "Definitely." He lowered his head, pressing his lips against mine.

  I opened, welcoming him, and his tongue played inside my mouth, rolling against mine, almost lazily, tasting me, adoring me. My arms wrapped around him of their own accord, drawing him more firmly against me. He maneuvered me to my back, giving me all of his weight. He was heavy, but there was something truly magnificent about having him pressed against me like this. He was my shield. I was safe from fear and regret and sorrow, pain. Nothing but pleasure could reach me here.

  He lifted his head to peer into my eyes. His lips were pink and kiss-swollen.

  "Don't stop," I implored.

  His thumbs traced the rise of my cheeks. "You are so beautiful."

  When he looked at me like that, I felt it. I combed my fingers through his hair and, with the slightest bit of pressure, drew him back down. "Give me more."

  Maybe he sensed my desperation. Maybe my plea had revved him from simmer to boil. But the tone of the kiss changed in a snap, and there was no longer anything lazy about it. He thrust his tongue with determined force, demanding a response, and I gave it, holding nothing back. As if I could. My blood heated, every inch of me tingling.

  He didn't remove my shirt, just lifted it and bunched the material under my arms. Camilla hadn't given me a bra, so I wasn't wearing one.

  He pulled from the kiss. I whimpered with disappointment. Then he lowered his head and kissed the skin he'd bared. And it was...it was...so good. Lance after lance of pleasure shot through me. He used lips, teeth and tongue, and it wasn't long before I was writhing on top of the mattress.

  "Cole," I said on a moan. "You better...follow through...." Oh! Yes!

  "Will."

  Finally!

  I clutched at his shoulders. "You'll give me everything?" Had those breathless, pleading words really come from me?

  "Not everything." His lids were heavy and hooded as his tortured gaze met mine. If he wanted me with the same fervency that I wanted him, his control was hanging on by the barest thread. "First time won't be here. But I'll give you more."

  More. Yes. "Do it!"

  He dived in for another kiss to my lips. It was hard, and it was hot. It was a little wanton, and a lot dirty, and I loved every second of it. His hands were all over me...all over me. Everywhere I ached. He'd never touched me like this before.

  As I clutched at him and mumbled incoherently, arching against him, the connection I felt to him deepened, like I wasn't just Ali Bell anymore, but now had Property of Cole Holland stamped on my soul. Like I wasn't alone and would never be alone again. Like even if Cole and I were on different sides of the world, a part of him would always be with me.

  "Let me know when I hit the right--" he began.

  I gasped, my hips shooting off the bed.

  "--spot," he finished.

  My mind was utterly taken over with bliss, my thoughts burning up before they could fully form. I was laboring for breath, sweating. Everything he made me feel...it was too much...what he was doing...it was too much but not enough...and...and...the pressure was building...and building...

  Then...

  Something broke inside me. Not just broke, but shattered. It was wonderful, glorious, but also life-changing, as if every part of me was laid bare. I was vulnerable in a way I'd never been before. Like this, I had no secrets. No barriers. No form of protection.

  Just Cole.

  The sense of connection...even deeper. Propelled to a new level. One I hadn't even known I possessed. I realized I wasn't just trusting Cole with my life, but with my future. To treasure me and not forsake me. To always be honest. To consider my feelings and well-being with every new decision.

  I was still panting, now dotted with perspiration from head to toe, but I didn't care. I wanted to laugh. "That was amazing."

  "Yes," Cole groaned.

  Clearly, he wasn't as happy as I was. His pupils were dilated, and tension tightened his features, and it didn't take a genius to figure out what the problem was. He needed to feel what I had just felt. Needed to...break.

  "Tell me what to do," I said.

  His pupils widened, eclipsing nearly all of the violet. "Are you sure?"

  "Yes." Oh, yes.

  Voice rough, he offered instruction. I obeyed, adding my own spin here and there.

  He gripped my hair, then the sheets. "Ali." My name was nothing more than a luscious rasp.

  Even though this round wasn't about me, I was just as affected. Just as connected to him. Knowing that he was feeling what I had felt, that I was the one responsible, the one making him feel that way, that he might just have a Property of Ali Bell stamped on every part of him, was sweet and heady.

  "Ali!"

  A roar this time.

  The perfect end.

  Afterward, we snuggled together on the bed, with my head resting on h
is chest. His heart raced.

  "Is it always like that?" I asked. We hadn't gone all the way, but still. I'd check off this experience as close.

  "Being in love makes all the difference in the world."

  I believed that. I also knew he hadn't loved the other girls--hadn't claimed to, ever. And yet, I was still jealous in a way I didn't understand.

  "I know you know this, but I'll repeat it," he said, probably noticing the way I'd stiffened. "When we're in bed together, there's no one else with us. It's just you and me. I'm not comparing you to anyone. How could I? No one could compare to you."

  He plucked the thunder right out of my jealousy, and I didn't know whether to be thrilled or ticked. Why not both? I tugged his nipple ring with my teeth.

  "For a big, tough guy, you're kind of whipped," I teased.

  "Are you complaining?" He twirled a lock of my hair around his finger. Habit, I supposed. "Because I haven't forgotten I owe you a spanking."

  I snorted and laughed at the same time, and the sound I made as a result was not pretty.

  Cole grinned. "I wish my mother was alive. She would have adored you."

  A girl could hope. "She was a slayer," I said, remembering what he'd once told me. She'd been attacked by a horde of zombies and bitten. The antidote hadn't worked on her, and she'd later risen from her grave as a zombie.

  Later attacked Cole.

  Mr. Holland was forced to kill her--again.

  "Yeah, and a good one, too. But she was better at recruiting new members to the team. She was the one who brought in Veronica's mom, a former Anima employee."

  He had more history with Veronica than I'd realized. No wonder he and Juliana were so tight. They'd probably grown up together.

  Well, hello. The jealousy had returned.

  After everything he and I had just done, and shared, that shouldn't have bugged me. Key word: shouldn't.

  "How does that work? Trusting a former Anima employee?" I asked. "Didn't your mom and dad fear she was there as a spy?"

  "At first. But she was in some kind of fugue state for a while, and that kind of thing can't be easily faked. When she came out of it, her memory was gone, but she earned their loyalty by saving my mom's life."

  Yeah, but even that could have been a trick. A setup. Not that it had been, but yeah. "How did your parents react when you and Veronica started dating?"

  "By that time, my mom was already dead."