Book Read Free

Flagged and Removed

Page 5

by Darcie Wilder

It’s only a few weeks into her eighth grade, but she’s beginning to lose sight of her command over the material. She’s always been so good, and it’s such a stressful time because she is applying to high schools soon. All I hear from her room is “just hold on, we’re going home” by I think it is Drake? I think it’s Drake. Sometimes she mentions him - Drake this, Drake that… and I thought she was just really into ornithology!

  Anyway, it’s such an important time for her and we can not let let her be distracted. I am looking for a tutor that can incorporate the musical stylings of Drake and her other favorite, Miley, into the curriculum. She has a background in musical theatre/dance, and up until a year ago would go ab-so-lutely b-a-n-a- n-a-s for RENT the musical. And before that, Mama Mia. She certainly has PIPES on her.

  Please reply with a headshot or any proof of talent or ability!!

  • Location: PARK SLOPE

  • it’s not ok to contact this poster with other services

  • Compensation: $7/hr

  Posting ID: 4089573700 Posted: 2013-09-25, 6:44AM EDT Updated: 2013-09-26, 12:46AM EDT

  new york > manhattan > personals > missed connections

  Reply flag [?] : miscategorized prohibited spam best of

  Posted: 2014-05-26, 10:51 PM EDT

  Coleslaw/ Kitten Ear Hoodie/ Chess - m4w - 35 (Union Square)

  Couldn’t keep my eyes off you - you were eating cole slaw from a clear plastic take out container on the Union Square steps. Your gorgeous eyes - looked blue from where I sat. You wore a large hoodie with kitten ears sewn atop, and two adorable blonde braids at either side of you. Breathtaking eyeliner.

  You tried playing chess, but just for a second - against a man eating cantaloupe. Before you left you laughed, and I’d love to see that laugh again.

  Did you notice me?

  I was on the bench, pretending to read, but simply wasn’t able to work up the nerve to say something to you. You began walking west, and I had nowhere to be until later, so I left with you, trying to work up the courage to say hello. After a few blocks I still couldn’t bear to look you in the eye, to figure out what to say.

  What shoes was I wearing? What book was I pretending to read?

  • it’s not ok to contact this poster with other services

  Posting ID: 4145682748 Posted: 2014-05-26, 10:51PM EDT

  new york > manhattan > for sale / wanted > appliances - by owner

  Reply flag [?] : miscategorized prohibited spam best of

  Posted: 2013-10-14, 1:31 PM EDT

  purple clarisonic mia - $85 (Midtown West)

  hey,

  i bought a purple clarisonic mia for $125 in may. it’s super fun!

  everyone loves these things, including me.

  it tickles!

  so there’s this base, which is totally regular like it never touches your face, just like a blender, the bottom machine part never touches any of the wet business, like yr face - you put on a scrubber (which you replace every 3 months, or so they recommend) and the scrubber touches your face. so you could ostensibly share a clarisonic with someone the way you share an electric toothbrush everyone loves these, but after getting this i found out the cause of my acne is a hormonal imbalance that is now solved with daily, mood-altering pillz, so no use for this lil gem.

  however, if you are not in need of mood altering pillz, this is a great way to keep your skin clean, clear, and under control.

  • it’s not ok to contact this poster with other services

  Posting ID: 4128921742 Posted: 2013-10-14, 1:31PM EDT

  new york > brooklyn > personals > missed connections

  Reply flag [?] : miscategorized prohibited spam best of

  Posted: 2013-09-25, 5:56 AM EDT

  family - w4m - 20 (williamsburg)

  hi i am trying to find the man who works at waffle and wolf in williamsburg. i am visiting my boyfriend, i am from texas and love him so much. he moved here but we are still together.

  i am trying to find the man who works at waffle and wolf because you look so similar to my father.

  i lost my father in a drunk driving accident was i was 12 years old. but he had darkish reddish hair, wore glasses like you, and was thin. he was my best friend.

  i am writing to you because i know that he had a lover in new york. before he died, he worked for the ny times and would visit her. i only know this because i found his travel receipts before he passed on and i threw them away so my mother wouldn’t find them. it’s too much of a longshot that we are siblings, but you look like him, which brings me to this.

  i want to meet you and maybe have an encounter where you speak to me as my father and we can resolve my grief.

  • Location: williamsburg

  • it’s not ok to contact this poster with other services

  Posting ID: 40134105548 Posted: 2013-09-25, 5:56PM EDT Updated:2013-10-03, 5:21AM EDT

  new york > manhattan > all community > pets

  Reply flag [?] : miscategorized prohibited spam best of

  Posted: 2013-09-24, 11:42 PM EDT

  addicted hedgehog (Inwood / Wash Hts)

  I adopted a hedgehog about a year ago. He is so calm and loving,

  eating right out of my hand!

  But I flew too close to the sun. I’m afraid I mistreated ole Gary Busey.

  I was doing a lot of benzos, etc - and I wondered what would happen to this little mild-mannered hedgehog if I started to give him some. It began innocently enough with some Xanax, and then increased week by week because Gary Busey would begin to nip me if I didn’t give him any. The nips really upset me, so I kept up his habit.

  I am getting sober and find that it is almost impossible to maintain my sobriety with Gary in my home.

  I find myself scoring just so Gary will be ok. Once it’s in the house I give him some, and I let him crawl all over my body until I need to score.

  If you would like a hedgehog addicted to benzos, please contact me ASAP. I will supply you with everything Gary needs for a comfortable home.

  • it’s not ok to contact this poster with other services

  Posting ID: 4089509834 Posted: 2013-09-24, 11:42PM EDT Updated: 2013-09-25, 3:24PM EDT

  new york > brooklyn > housing > sublets & temporary

  Reply flag [?] : miscategorized prohibited spam best of

  Posted: 2013-09-23, 7:29 PM EDT

  3br - get paid to live here! (bushwick)

  Hi, Craigslist!

  I have a small task that I need help with, and will gladly compensate you for! I graduated from art school a year ago, and live with 4 people whom I desperately and wholly love and care for. The thing is- I need to leave Brooklyn for about a month, maybe more. It’s complicated- I am in love with a girl in Nebraska and I am going to win her heart back. We both are addicted to heroin and crystal meth, and I am trying to win her heart so that we can enter a rehabilitation program together. The thing is, I really can’t give up my housing right now - and I can pay the rent while I am gone for 1-2 months. I just need to keep my space. However, my roommates have a “moral” issue with my romantic with Jess, and would kick me out if they found out I am going to see her, or that I am an addict. I have kept it hidden.

  I need you to - and will compensate you half of my rent per month $400 per month- is to go into my apartment and move things around. My roommates need to think that I am there. They don’t need to see me - just my things moving around. If youd like to stay over, you are more than welcome, but be sure that they do not see you. They are gone between the hours of 10am and 4pm every day - this is M-F, weekends not necessary.

  • cats are OK - purrr

  • Location: bushwick

  • it’s not ok to contact this poster with other services

  Posting ID: 4086821480 Posted: 2013-09-23, 7:29PM EDT Updated: 2013-10-01, 3:30AM EDT

  new york > manhattan > all personals > strictly platonic

  Reply flag [?] : miscategorized prohibited spam best of

  Posted: 2014-06-23, 11:39 PM ED
T

  HALLOWEEN SEEKING

  Match for my halloween costume!

  ever notice how meditations ALWAYS involve a lake or a pond?

  Well - for halloween I’m going as my inner child

  (such a leo - July 13 ^-^)

  looking for a match to attend halloween parties

  i want someone to be the water

  could be interesting for cancer, scorpio, pisces

  not a good idea for aries, leo, sag

  possible ideas: shiny American Apparel spandex (blue)

  could be interesting with the glitter appeal

  Or printing my face (as a child) onto the pond

  the theme is me looking into the water and seeing myself

  or maybe if you looked like me it could be interesting, like my reflection is your face

  • do not contact me with unsolicited services or offers

  Posting ID: 401116175548 Posted: 2013-06-23, 11:39PM EDT

  new york > queens > all community

  Reply flag [?] : miscategorized prohibited spam best of

  Posted: 2014-06-18, 2:23 PM EDT

  Couch Available (maybe)

  looking for couch to potentially crash on weekend of august 23

  meeting up with girl from the internet don’t know if it’ll be weird

  can text/call you /email or whatever, wanna set something up, can pay you half for leaving it open and pay you the rest if i crash, just looking to have it up in air

  • do not contact me with unsolicited services or offers

  Posting ID: 4145699948 Posted: 2014-06-18, 2:23PM EDT

  new york > manhattan > all personals > women seeking women

  Reply flag [?] : miscategorized prohibited spam best of

  Posted: 2014-05-20, 6:02 PM EDT

  Anyone met mike?

  Looking for any people who might have met “Mike” at ground support coffee in SoHo

  Asked me if I was “Sara,” told him no

  Gave me some schpeal about positive thinking and how he walks around for an hour thinking positive thoughts

  Called it – “affirming”

  Artist of some sort

  Wanted to tell him about this glob of mucus I birthed that had painfully been clogging my ear. Began the story but he didn’t seem receptive, instead began talking about how many times a day we, “as a people,” say “sorry”

  Hugged me and said he loved me, smelled like sandalwood

  Wondering if he’s a creep.

  • it’s not ok to contact this poster with other services

  Posting ID: 4145677948 Posted: 2014-05-20, 6:02PM EDT

  new york > brooklyn > for sale / wanted > household items - by owner

  Reply flag [?] : miscategorized prohibited spam best of

  Posted: 2013-10-02, 4:08 PM EDT

  BEDBUGS FOR MALICE - $30 (bedstuy bushwick)

  Hi!

  New York can be a pretty difficult place to live! As they say, if you can make it there, you can make it anywhere!

  I’ve lived here almost a full calendar year, and have found that it’s super difficult to keep positive.

  There are so many things trying to keep you down- the subway track work, craigslist roommate scams, reappearing enemies from college, ex girlfriends finding out your account info…

  That said, I recently moved into a room that happens to be infested with bedbugs.

  Luckily for me, I’m not allergic, and barely notice them. My girlfriend, however, is blaming me for HER infestation, even though it’s totally NOT. MY. FAULT.

  I really didn’t know we had them, and by the time we found it, it was too late.

  She broke up with me. Unfortunately she was also my boss, so I need to find a new job.

  So, I’m trying to make my challenges and hardships work FOR me instead of AGAINST me.

  I need some extra ca$h, and if I can help-a-bruthah out while I’m doin it, the more the merrier!

  I’m aware that it’s impossible to live in this city without fucking someone over. So, I am selling my bedbugs and bedbug eggs for people to use against people. You can let it roam in their bag, their home, etc etc. I am simply selling bedbugs, how you use them is your business.

  I will package them up so that they both a) live and b) stay in their container.

  • Location: bedstuy bushwick

  • it’s not ok to contact this poster with other services

  Posting ID: 4105419961 Posted: 2013-10-02, 4:08PM EDT Updated: 2013-10-02, 4:09PM EDT

  new york > manhattan > all jobs > technical support jobs

  Reply flag [?] : miscategorized prohibited spam best of

  Posted: 2013-09-09, 12:22 PM EDT

  Search History (How To)

  found “clit piercing” searching google on daughter’s macbook.

  was drop down option, no snooping! popped up as possible search

  daughter has NO BUSINESS searching this online

  she is innocent and i am shocked

  upset

  i know she frequents these web pages, “the boards,” she calls them

  unsure her “handle” ?????? is

  i know it MUST be coming from there --

  how do i protect her? she is only 13

  has no business with this

  how do i block these sites

  restrict google

  just disappear it

  • it’s not ok to contact this poster with other services

  Posting ID: 4145772948 Posted: 2013-09-09, 12:22PM EDT

  new york > queens > personals > casual encounters

  Reply flag [?] : miscategorized prohibited spam best of

  Posted: 2013-09-23, 7:19 PM EDT

  stop please - w4m - 71 (United States)

  please help harasse from prev posted ad, how to remove phne nubmer –

  cann not stop, omar sending to my phone, recieveing illiciut unwanted unsolicited pictures to mobile, i have iphone, dont wstop have forty in past hour please help

  various numbers one is omar, seven one eight number, can anyone who runs this website please remove previous ad named looking 4 help posted same address messages costing $$

  • Location: United States

  • it’s not ok to contact this poster with other services

  Posting ID: 4086739843 Posted: 2013-09-23, 7:19PM EDT

  new york > manhattan > all gigs > labor gigs

  Reply flag [?] : miscategorized prohibited spam best of

  Posted: 2013-11-02, 8:14 AM EDT

  semi pt assistant

  im looking for a semi pt assistant, low pay, someone to get me coffee

  cant’ afford a ft asst, plus dont really need one

  primarly responsibly is purchasing and delivering me 1 no foam capp

  9 am mf

  so, like, it has to be from this one spott thats literally… right… around… the corner.. from me

  so like, i would TOTALLY do it myself but things w the morning barista

  “got pretty weird’

  and now i think ti’s best to cut ties and like, you know

  i really dont want to make him change to the late shift bc i KNOW he works hard for that good shift

  so you would really be helping us out

  • it’s not ok to contact this poster with other services

  Posting ID: 4182339948 Posted: 2013-11-02, 8:14AM EDT

  new york > queens > all personals > missed connections

  Reply flag [?] : miscategorized prohibited spam best of

  Posted: 2013-11-25, 5:57 PM EST

  NO - m4w (lic)

  i have to tell you.. answer is NO

  i can only repeat myself so often

  • it’s not ok to contact this poster with other services

  Posting ID: 4145937492948 Posted: 2013-11-25, 5:57PM EST

  new york > manhattan > all for sale / wanted > furniture - by owner

  Reply flag [?] : miscategorized prohibited spam best of

  Posted: 2014-04-30, 1:14 PM EDT

  Burea
u and Childhood Toys $500

  Selling my daughter’s dresser. Inherited from her father’s childhood - 1960s, Sturdy wooden, slight detailing, three drawers, very deep.

  Looking to clear out her room, make it more open and spacy, do not want her to continue to be able to hide her items in this piece. Wasn’t happy.

  Only available between 9:30 AM - 3:30 PM. Her father has her on the weekends so that time is more available, but preferably pick up during the week. I like to keep weekends for me.

  Also available - doll house, various barbies/toys, stuff she’s growing out of.

  I want to surprise her with this new, clear and clean room and get rid of all the toys and dresser all at once so that she embraces it.

  $500 OHO

  • it’s not ok to contact this poster with other services

  Posting ID: 4177684948 Posted: 2014-04-30, 1:14PM EDT

  new york > brooklyn > personals > missed connections

  Reply flag [?] : miscategorized prohibited spam best of

  Posted: 2013-09-25, 3:06 PM EDT

  HI YOUNG MAN IN BUTTON DOWN - m4m - 28 (PARK SLOPE)

  HI YOUNG MAN YOU ARE BLONDE, VERY ATTRACTIVE TAKE MY BREATH AWAY YOU WEAR A LOT OF BUTTON UPS AND DOWNS AND SOMETIMES SUNGLASSES

  AND

  SHORTS YOU LIVE ABOVE PHARMACY BECAUSE I SEE U COME IN AND OUT BUT I AM NO STALKER I WORK IN STARBUCKS ON 7TH AVE I SEE YOU SOMETIMES AND WANT TO SAY HI BUT I AM AFRAID YOU ARE WHITE A LITTLE PALE SOMETIMES YOU ARE WITH TALLER MEN I AM AFRAID BECAUSE MAYBE U W/ THEM? MAYBE U DONT LIKE ME OR LIKE GIRLS. SOMETIMES I SEE GIRL W BROWN HAIR. SHORT. I WORRY BC I HAVE LIKED U FOR SOME TIME I LIKE YOUR GLASSES, I LIKE WHEN U CURL UR HAIR I WANT VERY MUCH TO APPROACH AND CONVERSATION BUT I DO NOT WANT 2 SCARE YOU PLZ COME INTO STARBUCKS I AM TALL, DARK HAIR, SKIN, WORK OFTEN THERE I WILL GIVE U FREE COFFEE

  OK

  NO STRING ATTACH IF U NO INTEREST I WILL LEAVE YOUALONE

  • Location: PARK SLOPE

  • it’s not ok to contact this poster with other services

  Posting ID: 4090740768 Posted: 2013-09-25, 3:06PM EDT Updated: 2013-10-03, 3:29AM EDT

 

‹ Prev