Courting in Custer
Page 9
“Elias, I—”
“I don’t want to hear about it.” He cut her off, his voice raised to yell above the rumbling engine.
Daisy huddled back into the seat. Beau had never been curt with her, had never needed to be. Elias’s sharp tone cut her deeper than if he’d slapped her.
“I looked for you at the store, at your old room, and I couldn’t find you. I was terrified. You’re my wife, my responsibility.” His hands gripped the wheel so hard his knuckles were white. He pulled over in front of their home and turned off the car. “You left no note, nothing to tell me where you’d be, and now I see why.” He didn’t even look at her as he slid out of the car and slammed the door shut, leaving her behind.
“Elias, wait!” She ripped the scarf off her head and ran after him. “It isn’t what you think!” He slammed the front door shut as she ran up the walk. Her body trembled. How could she have been so thoughtless? When Mr. Payton had asked to go for a walk to talk about his trouble, she’d thought it was good, they would be out in the open. Nothing hidden, so people couldn’t talk.
Daisy opened the door as he strode from his room, hefting her trunk back upstairs. If she argued to stay with him, it would be a losing battle. He wasn’t ready to hear her side, but hopefully he would forgive her soon and let her speak.
When he came back down the stairs, he ignored her and stomped over to the stove, grabbing a pot and a can of something from the cupboard. She’d never been particularly frightened of him until then, when his muscled arms were corded with pent-up anger. At her. She didn’t fear that he would strike her, only that he was big enough to frighten a grizzly. Ruby always said, ‘you never poke a bear,’ and now she knew why.
He stirred whatever was in the pot, never turning from the stove, and Daisy didn’t know what to do. She finally settled on getting the clothes off the line to get her out of the house and give her something to do out of Elias’s way.
She went out the front door to avoid trying to maneuver behind Elias in the small kitchen. Outside the house, Daisy took a deep breath and prayed. “Lord, I’m so sorry. This was such a misunderstanding, and I don’t know how to fix it, to make his hurt go away.” Daisy folded the clothes as she took them off the line and dropped them into her basket. They would need to be ironed yet that night, because she wouldn’t do it on Sunday.
No other words came to her heart. Not only was Elias angry with her, she may have ruined his case. She hadn’t planned for him to find them, but he represented the man who’d threated Mr. Payton. Elias had manhandled him, after his client threatened Mr. Payton. Judge Cornwall might see it as Elias acting on Mr. Saunders behalf.
Daisy hefted the big basket of laundry back into the house. Elias sat in his chair in the sitting room, eating, not even at the table where he might have to sit with her. He’d taken half and shared the other with Gracie, who lay under Elias’s chair, licking her bowl clean. Daisy hadn’t eaten all day, but her own food was still at her apartment and she wouldn’t take Elias’s, not when he was so angry. Not when it didn’t feel like her home, or that they were even married at all.
The ironing board took up much of the kitchen and acted as a wall between her and the living room where Elias sat reading. He didn’t bring his bowl back in and neither did she offer to go retrieve it. Finally, he stood and set down his book, patted his leg for the dog to follow and went down the hallway to his room, avoiding her completely.
There was only one shirt left to iron, but Daisy was exhausted. Worse, she still had to heat water to wash the pan and dishes Elias had used to make his supper. Her own stomach rumbled its discontent. If she had to sleep upstairs, away from Elias anyway, would it matter if she went back to her apartment that night? She could put Patches in her box and carry her back, they could both eat and then curl up in her old bed. And she could cry where no one would ever hear her.
Daisy finished ironing the shirt and folded it neatly, leaving all of Elias’s clothes in a stack on the table. He’d said she’d worried him because she hadn’t left a note, so be it. On a little square of paper from a kitchen drawer, she wrote a brief note.
Gone home to eat. I’ll stay there. No need to concern yourself. Daisy
She went upstairs and collected Patches, then slid out the door into the night.
Elias stared up at the ceiling and, though the exhaustion of staying awake through the night before and the worry of the day was more than he could bear, he couldn’t sleep. He thought he’d kept himself from holding false hope that Daisy might eventually love him, but the ache in his chest proved he’d lied to himself. He’d harbored hope even in school and, all the years between, he’d fostered it. Now that she was his wife, it had seemed like the hard part was done, but it wasn’t.
She’d met with another man, just days after marrying him. In the park for all to see. His gut twisted around the beans he’d forced himself to consume for supper. She’d seemed so happy there with that man. Laughing on the bench, sharing a happy moment … then he’d kissed her. It didn’t matter that it was just her hand. That man had touched his wife, his Daisy—with his lips—
And jealousy burned hot and rabid within him.
He had to know why. Elias shoved his feet into his slippers and out into the empty kitchen. He’d been in bed stewing longer than he’d thought. He trudged up the stairs and down the hall to Daisy’s room. Her door was shut, and he knocked, once again reminding him of when he’d searched for her earlier.
“Daisy? Please come out. We need to talk.” He knocked again.
Even her cat was silent. He pushed open the door and the bed was empty and smooth. She hadn’t lain in it at all. Her trunk still sat closed where he’d left it earlier. Unopened. The box she’d brought her infernal cat in was gone. Elias raced back down the stairs and slid to a stop when he noticed the bit of paper sitting next to his stack of folded laundry. The note was short and weakened him right to his knees. His Daisy had left in the night. Hadn’t even told him she was going. Why?
She could be hurt in the street. Anyone could have seen her. It only took a few minutes to yank on his trousers and slip on a shirt. He didn’t even bother with buttoning it all the way. No one would see him. The car would make too much noise in the street and there was no need to make anyone else aware of his roaming wife, so he left it home.
The front door to her building wasn’t locked, which made him both glad and concerned. He would’ve had no way to reach her if it had been, but it also meant that anyone else could walk in the door as well … like the short dandy man who kissed his wife. He’d never been one to let his emotions win, but his anger built in intensity until he was running up the stairs.
He knew exactly which door was hers this time and he tried to get his breathing under control as he made his way to it. He stood for a moment in the silent hallway, staring at her door. A muffled hiccup came from inside.
“He hates me, Patches, he does. He’ll never listen to me. I’ve ruined everything.”
Elias stepped closer and leaned against the door, holding his breath so he could hear her better.
“We were doing so well, getting closer. But he wouldn’t even listen to me or let me explain. I’ve never seen him so angry.”
He closed his eyes. His flight of anger had done that. Even if he was angry, he’d proven he really was a brute.
“Daisy? Let me in.” He kept his voice low and level, to avoid waking anyone up, and praying he didn’t frighten her more.
He heard her gasp and rushed footfalls to the door.
“Elias? Is that you?”
He leaned back from her door, but there was no peephole.
“Yes. Let me in.” He just wanted to hold her and listen.
Daisy slowly opened the door. Though it was well past eleven, she was still in her dress from the day, her eyes were red and swollen. Patches hissed at him and ran from the room.
“May I come in?” He could’ve just pushed his way past her, he was her husband after all, but he’d don
e enough pushing that day.
She nodded but said nothing as she opened the door wider to admit him. He came in and let her close the door behind him. Her shuddering breath turned him around in a heartbeat.
“Daisy, I should’ve listened to you. I’m sorry.” Would she come home with him, or would she stay, and they remain separated? His heart and mind were at war. He wanted her home with him but couldn’t ever have her as he wanted.
“What you saw, wasn’t what it looked like.” Her face was so pale that it made her red eyes all the brighter.
“It doesn’t matter what it was, I saw what everyone saw, a man who was on a walk with a beautiful woman … a married woman. My woman.”
She ducked her head. “I only meant to keep our talk in public. I had to speak to him. He was the last person to have seen my friend’s husband. He’s missing, you see, and she came by and asked for my help—”
“Wait,” he interrupted her, “the cup I found was your friend? This man was never in my house?”
Daisy shook her head. “No, I would never invite a man into your home.”
“Our home.” It was the only way he could think to let her know he didn’t want her to leave.
Daisy didn’t look up at him, but she took a deep breath, then her words flowed like a river. “It isn’t my home, Elias. It never was. You love the idea of me. You love the thought of never being alone, but you also love the idea of remaining separate, closed off from me. We can be good friends, visiting with one another, and then you don’t have to be angry with me, anymore.” She ducked around him and left him standing by the door as she made for the short galley kitchen.
“Angry with you?” Yes, he had been, but he wasn’t anymore. “Can’t you see why I would be? I found my wife in the arms of another man.” A slight exaggeration, but it didn’t feel like one.
Daisy stepped out of the shadows and back to the doorway. She glared at him with her hands on her tiny hips.
“Are you afraid people will talk? Is that all that matters to you? You certainly don’t want to pull me into your arms, why get so angry if someone else does?”
He took one step toward her and she stood her ground. “You think I don’t want my arms around you? I as much as told you I’d wanted to kiss you from the point we met, all the way back in grade school. Why can’t you just understand that I can’t kiss you, I can’t take you to my bed because I’ll hurt you.” He turned from her. The curse of his family would strike once again. He wasn’t destined to be loved, just like his grandmother had said.
Daisy came around to face him and wrapped her small arms around him, resting her head against his chest. How he wanted to accept her love, but he had to push her away, for her own good. And his. He refused to return the embrace.
“Elias. We both want love. Please. Just accept it. Stop pushing me away.”
He slid his fingertips along her arms to her hands and unclasped them, then stepped away from her.
“I want to love you, Daisy. But there’s too much in my history. Both my mother and my grandmother almost lost their lives bearing sons. This line stops here. I refuse to lay a hand on you, and you won’t change my mind.”
Daisy slipped her hands free of his grasp and rested them against his chest. Her fragrance was soap and sunshine with a hint of lemon, and it filled his nostrils as she stepped closer, her eyes bright with her tears, but it wasn’t sadness there anymore. It was hope.
“Hold me, Elias.”
Chapter 14
Elias’s eyes widened at her order, but he didn’t pull away again. Which was good, because it had taken more gumption than she’d thought she had to say it. But that’s what she wanted, it’s what she’d wanted from the start. Someone had to be the one to say it, it might as well be her.
His warm chocolate eyes gazed down at her in wonder as he finally wrapped his strong arms around her. His hands seemed to cover her whole back as he tenderly pulled her closer, and she rested her head against his chest. The racing of his heart against her cheek brought a smile to her face. He really felt what he’d said. He did want her, but also wanted her at arm’s length.
He pulled back just a little and led her into her tiny sitting room. There was only one seat, an old stuffed arm chair that she’d taken when Ruby had asked Beau to throw it out. She’d repaired a broken spring and recovered it. Now, it was hers.
Elias sat down in it and seated her across his leg. She tucked her knees, curling up on his lap as he gathered her gently in his arms. She tucked her head into his neck as he held her. There was no need to talk just yet, only to enjoy the feel of Elias, finally showing her what he felt and what she’d felt for so long. Why did he have to fight her? Why couldn’t he just try?
“I said I was sorry, and I meant it.” His deep voice poured over her head.
“I’m sorry too, I never meant to hurt you. I was only trying to help Alma Potter.”
Elias stiffened. “Alma Potter…Martin’s wife?”
She hadn’t realized he would know the Potters since he was so new to town. “Yes, he’s been missing for two days.”
“And who was that you were with? That wasn’t Martin.” He was so still she couldn’t even tell if he was breathing.
“That was Mr. Payton.”
Elias’s grip tightened around her slightly. “Mr. Payton? The one who my client threatened?” he asked it lightly, as if he truly hoped they were not one and the same and he was controlling his every word.
How she hated to tell him. Hated that it was her fault that his case was now even more complicated.
“The same.”
He sighed and ran his hand through her hair, the gentle touch left waves of tingles up her neck and to her head. How lovely it would be to expect this all the time from her husband.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to get in the middle of your case.”
“Let’s not talk about that right now. I need to get you home.”
She shook her head just slightly, it was all she could manage, tucked under his chin. “No. I’m not going anywhere until we talk this through. I told you, if we’re married, we’re together. If you don’t want me, we need to be apart. A loveless marriage isn’t Biblical.” She rested her hand over his heart and he held her tighter.
“Daisy, I told you it would be this way before we ever wed. You knew going into it that this was for convenience.”
At least he hadn’t shoved her away physically, only with his words. Her poor heart couldn’t have taken such abuse after his anger. She didn’t wish to see that ever again.
“I want more.” His heart beat strong against her palm. When he sighed, her whole body moved with him.
“Why did you stay? When Payton was moving closer and went for your hand, why didn’t you leave?”
Daisy bit her lip. She had wanted to talk, and she owed him that much. Hadn’t she been complaining all evening that he wouldn’t listen to her, well, here he was, not only listening but asking.
“I needed to ask him a few more questions, but he kept skirting away from them. He didn’t really want to talk about Mr. Potters. He claimed that Potters and Saunders frightened him.”
Elias huffed an almost laugh.
“I tried to direct him back to my questions three times. When you arrived, it was the third time he’d put me off, laughing about my interest in such greasy fellows. I was shocked that he would address me so, then he kissed my hand. I laughed because I was nervous and trying to think of a way to escape.” She should’ve held him off, but it had shocked her so much after his insulting words.
Elias took her hand from where it rested on his chest and tenderly kissed her knuckles.
“I didn’t like it. You’re my wife. I’ve been called a lot of things, kicked when I was down, but I’ve never been so angry as I was when that man put his lips on you.”
“I’m sorry, I—”
Elias shook his head and kissed her hand again, arresting her thoughts and sending shivers down her spine.
�
�I was angry with you for a time, but I was angrier with him. Jealousy is not something I’ve had to deal with before.”
Daisy hid her grin from him and wrapped her arms around his chest as best she could while he sat in the chair. Elias had nothing to fear. She didn’t want any other man to lay his hands or anything else on her, either.
“I’ve decided that I’m going to invite my parents to come and stay for a few days, so you can meet them. After you’ve met my mother and talked with her, it may help you understand why our marriage must be different than most. They still love each other … but have had separate rooms since I was born. We can love each other just that way, too.” He drew her away from her spot nestled against his chest to look in her eyes. “It can be done, and we can be happy. Will you try? For me?”
Her stomach slipped right down to her toes. How could she break his heart? He was counting on her, and she loved him. She couldn’t hurt him twice in one day. Curling up in his arms was the closest she’d ever come to feeling cherished. Her true father certainly never had, and Beau never treated them with affection like that. She craved it and wouldn’t let him shove her away again.
“I’d love to meet your parents. But don’t you think you should wait until your trial is finished, so you can spend more time with them? Since we’ll both be in court, your parents would be left alone quite a lot.”
He again pulled her into his arms and rested his chin on her head. “Unless you would decide to stay home with them.”
“I won’t, unless you make me. I enjoy my job and I’m good at it. I have yet to disappoint you with dinner or keeping our home.” Unless he hadn’t said anything. He had to understand, she shouldn’t be the only one making the concessions in their marriage. He had to give, too.
“I won’t force you, but I’m asking you to think about it. I want to provide for you. It’s the whole reason I listened to my parents and did as they asked, so that I could provide for you. I don’t want you exhausted at the end of a day.”
Daisy stilled, even holding her breath. She was no fool. He’d gone to school to provide for her? That meant he’d never planned to look for another wife. She tucked that away in her heart to think about later.