Happy Now?

by S M Mala

  All in all, the package was gorgeous.

  And Ed had fancied her since he reached puberty.

  He didn’t care about the comments regarding going out with girls who weren’t white. Ed just knew he found her attractive and had done for years but there was a more significant problem in his eyes.

  She was from a different social school group.

  The arty farty ones that him and his mates laughed at.

  The group consisted of boys with floppy hair, trying to be trendy and the girls wearing outrageous clothes, loud and brash. Flora was known to be loud but she didn’t quite fit in. She wasn’t streetwise enough.

  That’s what made her more attractive.

  She could be had, if only she were for the taking.

  Rumour had it that one of the guys in her group had taken a shine to her. They were at a party, he tried it on and the next thing they heard, he had a broken finger. The boy in question refused to speak to Flora again.

  Like he figured, she wasn’t for the taking.

  But that didn’t stop him from wanting her.

  ‘Hurry up,’ she said, emptying the ice into the tea mugs and returning them to the counter. Flora looked at the blood stained tea cloth. ‘Oh well, mum will think I cut myself for a change.’

  Ed strapped his sports bag across his chest and tucked his school blazer over it then pushed up his sleeves. He noticed the blood marks on the front of his shirt. Flora was piled high with her belongings, clutching her art box.

  It was a warm day in June and he just wanted to go home, get changed and hang out with Lee. Then he glanced down at Flora and smiled, wondering if they’d be spotted walking together.

  ‘Am I spoiling your street cred?’ she asked, trying to balance her items.

  Ed just grabbed her bag and damaged art box so she could focus on her portfolio.

  ‘I’ll say I was concussed and had no idea I was walking down the road with you,’ he smiled, seeing her grin. ‘I’m sure I’m not your ideal school buddy.’ Flora continued to smile and he wondered what she was thinking. ‘So you’re not a virgin?’

  ‘What’s that got to do with anything?’ she snapped, flashing him a dirty glare. ‘There’s more to life than sex, you know.’

  ‘That’s usually said by someone who doesn’t know.’

  ‘You’re only fifteen. Don’t go spoiling your future. My dad said he was too young to be a father and he was twenty one. You have to be careful.’

  ‘Thank you for your kind advice,’ Ed replied and eyed her up again. The sun was shining and she looked cool in her black clothing, not a hint of sweat. And she smelled nice. ‘I suppose you won’t get hitched until your forty then?’

  ‘I’ve not see a good side of marriage, if that’s what you’re asking.’ Then she looked at him, her eyes suddenly sad. ‘You’ve got a loving home and parents who adore each other.’

  ‘How would you know that?’

  ‘I see them in the supermarket, your mum and dad. They always seem so happy. I can’t remember the last time I saw my parents laugh. Shout and scream, yes.’

  He felt sorry for her.

  Her mother, Shirley, spoke to his mother, Noreen. Ed and his dad were in the shed working on something when they’d heard the two women nattering. It seems Flora had taken it all personally that her dad wasn’t making an effort.

  The split happened two years earlier and it had an effect, so her mother said, on Flora.

  ‘My parents have their ups and downs,’ said Ed quietly. ‘The fact they’re Irish and have a strong family bond is good and bad. You can never break free.’

  ‘Right now I wished I had a family,’ she said then forced a smile. ‘But hey, I’m young. One day.’

  ‘Are you that unhappy?’ he blurted out noticing her flinch.

  ‘My sister’s got a boyfriend and my mum’s seeing this guy from the factory she works at. They’re all moving on, including my dad and I’m left here. That’s why I want to go to college after my A’ Levels, just so I can leave them to get on with it.’ Then she closed her eyes. ‘I shouldn’t have said that. Don’t go telling your mum because my mum gets the arse when I say it.’

  They walked in silence for a few minutes as Ed digested what she’d said.

  ‘If you’re that unhappy, why not go to college once you’ve done your O’ Levels?’ he asked, frowning at her dilemma.

  ‘Because Mr Davies told my mother I should get my A’ Levels and I wanted to do the two year art foundation, believe me. Then I found out you only get a grant for three years so I’d have to fork out for two years learning. Mum can’t afford to pay for me and dad, he’s got a new life. I’ll have to work to get it, I suppose.’ Again Flora smiled and he could see it was very forced. ‘Look at us! We never spoke before now I’m pouring out my life story. Sorry to bore you.’

  ‘You’re not,’ he quietly replied and they both glanced at each other.

  It was strange.

  He not only fancied her but he liked her too.

  The girls he would play around with would just talk about things that he’d nod to.

  Flora was telling him something personal and he couldn’t fathom out why.

  Continuing to walk down the road, she stopped by his house glancing at her watch. He knew it had a Mickey Mouse face and the strap was red.

  ‘Are you going to be all right?’ she asked, taking her belongings off him. ‘I hope you-.’

  ‘Edward! What on earth have you done to your face!’ they heard Noreen Carter exclaim. She was standing to the side of a large rose bush. ‘Oh, hello Flora!’

  ‘Hello Mrs Carter,’ she replied with a genuine smile.

  Ed realised his mother would go mental if she found out he had been beaten up due to sleeping with someone’s girlfriend. The beating she would say he deserved but the sex element would make her livid. She’d told him time and time again to keep away from girls with dropped drawers, as she’d so delicately put it.

  He glanced at his pretty mother, with her perfect features and the body she was so proud of. Many a time she had boasted it was better than someone half her age. Ed could never understand what she was talking about as it was his mum.

  Immediately he knew she knew something was up as she shook her short brown hair.

  Just as he was about to explain, Flora butted it.

  ‘It was my fault,’ she said, stepping closer to him. ‘He was coming off the bus and I dropped my art box and Ed tripped over it. Then he crashed into the pavement. I feel really bad.’

  ‘Really?’ his mother asked, her brow narrowing. He noticed she looked at Flora first then at him quizzically. ‘Oh, well, are you okay Ed?’

  ‘Yeah, just a knock,’ he quietly replied.

  ‘Go in and get washed. I don’t want people to think you got into a fight,’ she huffed then smiled at Flora. ‘Would you like a cup of tea?’

  ‘No thank you Mrs Carter. I have to get back home.’

  Ed met Flora’s eyes and mouthed ‘thank you’, before heading back into his house.

  From the window, he watched her walk away then Ed sighed, ‘I wonder when we’ll speak again?’

  The second time they spoke…

  ‘Check him out,’

  … said Gaynor, flicking her dyed red hair forward with the aim of looking sultry. ‘He looks fit.’

  ‘I hate those rugby types,’ Priti replied, retying her long plait. ‘Their heads are thicker than their necks.’

  ‘I wouldn’t say no!’

  Flora lay on the grass, looking up at them. Gaynor was quite tall, white and her parents were very English working class. She wanted to be a teacher and liked boys too much. Her hair colour was shocking against her pale features but the guys found it appealing. Every week she was asked out.

  Checking for split ends, Priti was busy flicking through a magazine for inspiration on what to wear to a wedding. Her older sister was getting married and she wanted to look hot so she could pull. Slightly overweight with a strong long nose, she wa
sn’t pretty, like her namesake. Handsome would be the best description. Her clothes showed creativity but obviously it wasn’t a spending necessity in her household, given the state of some of the outfits.

  ‘Why are you so quiet?’ asked Priti, flicking Flora a glance. ‘You still can’t be lovelorn for that wanker?’

  ‘I thought he liked me,’ she painfully replied. ‘How did I know he was getting off with someone from college?’

  ‘Probably because he thought he wouldn’t be able to lay a finger on you. You’re eighteen now, you need some action,’ laughed out Gaynor, flicking her hair about. ‘Anyway, he was far too pretty for a boy. Looked better than my Barbie.’

  The girls laughed and Flora let out another deep sigh.

  It wasn’t down to the boy.

  It was also her home life.

  Her mum had moved this man John into their house. Faith didn’t seem to give a toss. She was too busy hanging out at her boyfriend’s home. Flora found herself alone in her bedroom most evenings, trying to keep out of the way of her mother and the bloke.

  It was like being in prison. Her focus was to complete her A’ Levels and do her foundation art away from London. There was a course in Brighton that had offered her a place and she was going go.

  The problem was she hadn’t told her mother yet.

  Propping herself up on her elbow, she looked over at the back of the green, where there was a small hill, up towards the fence. That’s where the smokers and rebels hung out.

  Never did Flora want to venture towards it.

  It was where people also did a lot of snogging and touching up.

  Ed Carter practically lived there.

  Since their last conversation, about two years ago, he hadn’t said a word. She’d taken the liberty and spoke to him once, saying ‘hi’ only to be met with a sullen nod.

  That nod she would always receive as if he was acknowledging her when he wasn’t.

  A genius didn’t have to figure out he'd rather not speak.

  Flora expected little else. Every time they walked past each other, there was a small gesture from him or glance but no words exchanged.

  The thing with Ed, he was getting better looking and always with a gaggle of girls at his beck and call. She’d spot him in the sixth form common room, in the area designated for the smokers and trendies. Flora sat with her friends, drinking tea and eating Mars Bars in the less cool section.

  ‘You know that book you got us ‘The Joy of Sex’,’ whispered Gaynor, lying next to her. ‘Me and Dean practiced some moves.’

  ‘Seriously?’ said Priti, dropping her magazine and leaning closer. ‘Which ones?’

  ‘Tying up,’ sniggered Gaynor. ‘It was sexy.’

  ‘What? Having sex with Dean?’ laughed out Priti, who was then gently thumped by her mate. ‘I was with Dev and he was more interested in going down.’

  ‘I’m pleased you both have great sex lives,’ sighed Flora, closing her eyes, feeling the sun’s heat on her eyelids. ‘The only fondling I get to do is with the covers of the book, so it hasn’t been a total waste of money.’

  ‘I’m still pure!’ said Priti, snootily shaking her head as Flora opened her eyes. ‘We like to pleasure each other.’

  ‘Pleasure?’ laughed out Gaynor. ‘Where do you get this from?’

  ‘Usually the end of his tongue,’ she said, poking it out and flicking up and down, making Flora scowl.

  ‘It’s me, isn’t it?’ mumbled Flora to herself. ‘The opposite sex just don’t find me attractive.’

  ‘Oh god, if she’s going to moan I’m going for a piss,’ groaned Gaynor getting up.

  Closing her eyes again, she thought hard about the fucker Philip, who strung her along until he went to Bristol. It was too good to be true saying he was waiting until she was ready. A few heavy petting sessions, all above waist level, obviously wasn’t worth it.

  Flora put getting dumped down to him getting laid within seconds of going into halls.

  A football hit her side, making her eyes dart open.

  ‘Sorry,’ she heard someone say then realised Ed was looking down at her.

  ‘That’s okay,’ Flora replied and noticed he smiled before picking up the ball. ‘Bye.’

  ‘Bye Flo.’

  ‘He knows your name?’ asked Priti, who was now looking down at her. ‘Ed Carter knows who you are? He called you Flo!’

  ‘Yes.’ Flora closed her eyes and decided to ignore her pulsating heartbeat.

  ‘And he spoke to you?’

  ‘He’s a child.’

  Priti frowned and lay on her stomach, looking over at people at the back of the green.

  ‘You know he’s got a reputation and a half. Someone told me he’s been playing around with someone over twenty years old,’ whispered her friend. ‘He’s hot and not as stupid as everyone thinks. Got all his O’ Levels with good grades and intends to become a woodworker.’

  ‘Carpenter,’ corrected Flora, trying not to laugh.

  ‘Flora, you’re going to have to tell your mum about your plans. What did your dad say about going to see him this summer?’

  She didn’t want to tell anyone what happened.

  It was too devastating to admit.

  ‘I’m still waiting to hear back.’

  ‘Be great to go to Florida, wouldn’t it?’

  ‘Be a miracle!’

  ‘Come on, what’s the rush?’

  … asked Lee. Ed, Lee, Russell and Tony were sat in the café, around the corner from the school. ‘We can stay here for the rest of the afternoon. Anyway, everyone’s sitting exams so no-one will notice.’

  Ed looked out into the summer sunshine knowing in a few weeks it would only be the lower sixth in the common room and they’d have free reign. He was counting the days until he could leave school, pass all the exams and study carpentry properly. He promised his mother he’d get good results and he did. His dad was a little less strict but happy enough at his son doing better than he did when he was at school.

  ‘How’s it going with Diane?’ Russell asked, his skin red from sunburn, which matched his ginger hair and freckles. He was a strapping lad who only wanted to play rugby. ‘Is she keeping you happy for a mature one?’

  ‘She’s fine,’ Ed said, not wanting to talk about his older lover.

  A woman who happened to be rep for an architectural ironmongery company his dad used. She was twenty two and had her own place in Fulham. The sex was good but she was a little too uptight for his liking. But Ed knew she liked him. Diane had even declared she was in love that took him by surprise.

  His best friend Lee grinned, knowing Ed didn’t like to talk about his personal dealings with women.

  Tony was busy trying to attract the attention of a young waitress. He figured as she was short, like himself, it would give him a fighting change. The problem was he looked about twelve, not seventeen.

  ‘Why don’t you talk about your woman?’ asked Tony, who had yet to lose his virginity. ‘I’d be telling everyone.’

  ‘Some things have to remain private,’ he sighed, thinking about being in bed with Diane. ‘And that’s a good thing.’

  Raising his eyebrows, Lee discreetly glanced at him. The fact was he openly discussed what was going on with Lee and no one else. His friend was seeing a girl from a sixth form college in Richmond, so he was certainly having fun of his own.

  Ed noticed Flora walking down the road and immediately could tell she was upset. He’d only spoken to her three weeks ago, after purposely kicking the ball to where she was sprawled out on the grass, because he saw her lying there and wanted to say something.

  In the years he hadn’t spoken to her, he had observed she’d developed into a woman. There were more sexy curves and her breasts had increased in size. He couldn’t take his eyes off her but always did it discreetly. The last thing he’d want is to let anyone know was that he fancied her.

  Not because he was ashamed but mostly because others would then get interested.

&
nbsp; Girls and getting them was the big competition between the lads.

  ‘Look who’s coming,’ said Lee, turning to look at Flora. ‘God, I’d give her one if she weren't so uptight. In fact, I’d give her one anyway. Flora Almeida is drop dead gorgeous.’

  ‘Maybe if you give her one, she’d be less uptight!’ laughed out Russell.

  ‘I don’t think Flora’s your type,’ Ed said lightly.

  ‘But she deserves a good fuck from me,’ Lee said and Ed caught a look in his eye he’d rarely seen.

  It was animalistic.

  It only appeared when he looked and spoke about Flora.

  Something about it sickened Ed. He felt the need to protect this young women who he was secretly fond of.

  ‘Why do you look like that when you talk about her?’ he whispered to his friend, whose eyes were fixed on the beauty.

  ‘Because I’d do anything to get her on her back,’ he sighed, giving Ed a wink. ‘And she’d want more.’

  ‘She’s not like that.’

  ‘Listen, if her slut sister can give it out why can’t she?’

  ‘Because Flora’s different,’ he said, looking over at her. ‘She’s nothing like her sister.’

  ‘A virgin? That makes the struggle worth it.’ Ed shot Lee a dirty look and his friend slapped his shoulder, laughing it off. ‘Unless you want to do the deed yourself? We could take it in turn.’

  ‘Sometimes I wonder what goes on in your mind,’ Ed said, disgusted by the comment.

  ‘Hey! I was only kidding!’ laughed Lee. ‘What’s wrong with you?’

  Ed realised he always have to hide how he felt about Flora. Lee would try and make waves or, even worse, take her for his own. He’d never let that happen, knowing Lee had a nasty streak and he’d hate to see that directed at her.

  Then he noticed she was crying hard but wasn’t aware someone was running for the bus, just behind her. Within seconds she’d been flung to the pavement, falling forward.

  ‘Oh shit!’ Ed said, jumping up.

  ‘Did you see that bloke? He didn’t even stop to see if she was all right?’ said Tony before looking at Ed. ‘Where are you going?’

  ‘To check on her.’