Happy Now?

by S M Mala

  ‘I’m not taking it off, not in daylight,’ she said, putting her hand on top of his. It was resting half way up her thigh. ‘I have a sports bra and very large knickers underneath. I don’t feel ready for you to see me semi-dressed.’

  ‘Why the large knickers?’

  ‘Holds in my flabby bits.’

  ‘You don’t look or feel flabby.’

  She rolled her eyes, knowing he was going to sweet talk her.

  ‘And look at me,’ he continued. ‘I’m naked.’

  ‘I’m not taking off my dress,’ she said, seeing he thought she was funny. ‘I mean it. This is only the second time we’ve been petting.’

  ‘Petting?’

  ‘What would you call it?’

  ‘Slow progressive foreplay,’ Ed grinned and started kissing her face. ‘You can’t just use and abuse my body. I need to kiss you too.’

  ‘You were.’

  ‘I mean kiss your body. You let me the other time.’

  Flora closed her eyes. He started kissing her neck at the same time as pushing his hand to stroke her arse. She let him kiss her exposed skin.

  It was only when she felt his hand started to caress her pubic bone, Flora knew he wanted to play in her area again.

  ‘Let me,’ he whispered into her ear. ‘I love it when I turn you on.’

  Taking a deep breath and wanting him to touch her, Flora pulled off her knickers. She knew she was wet. Just as she was about to throw her knickers, she felt the sopping crotch and realised Ed would have felt it too.

  The action lit up Ed’s face.

  ‘But don’t go too far,’ she said, gulping hard. ‘I’m not ready for full on sex.’

  ‘I know.’

  Then he touched between her lips and she closed her eyes. His finger started to gently rub her nub, teasing the end.

  ‘The thing is,’ she gasped, seeing he knew exactly what to do with her bits. ‘I come too fast.’

  ‘That’s good, isn’t it?’ he whispered into her ear before sucking on her lobe.

  ‘Yes,’ she said, feeling the tension building up in her groin. ‘Oh yes.’

  Without any warning, Ed pulled away and placed his head between her thighs, making her jolt.

  ‘What are you doing?’ she hissed then felt his tongue where his finger had been and his finger was now prodding her gently. ‘You can’t do…’

  It was pointless saying anything because she couldn’t speak. His beautiful lips were pulling and licking her nub, his tongue flicking the end. It was spasmodic, her body vibrating, then she yelled out,

  ‘Oh my god Ed! I’m going to come.’

  And she did, while his mouth and fingers were firmly placed between her legs.

  ‘And you’re not ready for sex?’

  … he asked, stroking her back as she made them a sandwich an hour later. ‘Not even with me.’ Ed’s other hand was up her dress and was now fondling her left buttock. It felt soft and smooth. Ideally, he’d have liked to munch on each one. ‘You do fancy me, don’t you?’

  ‘Stop being an arse,’ she mumbled, spooning mayonnaise onto his chicken sandwich. ‘I hate fellatio but I have done it to you. That speaks volumes.’

  ‘Why not full sex?’ he said, wanting to laugh at her comeback.

  ‘I’m scared,’ she replied and cut the sandwich in half. Ed desperately wanted to shag her. It was only out of self-control that stopped him from taking it further. And because he promised. ‘I can’t expect you to take me from behind and not touch or see my breasts. You know it’ll make me uncomfortable and will ruin everything.’

  ‘I don’t mind taking you from behind now, if you want,’ he sniggered, squeezing her arse. ‘I’d gladly do it if you want me to.’

  ‘I don’t want you to be disappointed. I know I keep saying it again and again, but it’s how I feel.’

  ‘You’d never disappoint me.’

  He meant what he said, looking at her closely, even loving the back of her hair, which was tousled from their session on the mattress.

  ‘Edward,’ she said, turning around and looking at him. He stared into the amber pools and remembered how much he loved them. ‘I’m not the same nineteen year old you shagged in the back of your little white van.’

  ‘I know. You never call me Edward, Flo.’

  Ed wasn’t going to listen to her reasoning as he stuck both his hands into the back of her knickers within seconds. All Flora did was grimace as he squeezed her buttocks.

  ‘What happens if you throw up when you see my breasts?’ she asked and he tried not to laugh. ‘This isn’t funny. You remember them as pert and-.'

  ‘Beautiful,’ he whispered and she winced. ‘You like to flash them, don’t you?’

  ‘Pardon me?’ she said, instantly folding her arms across her chest.

  ‘You showed my mother your boobs.’

  Flora’s mouth dropped open and Ed leaned over to take half a sandwich, biting into it. Then he put the corner to his mouth and gently sucked it. He knew Flora figured he was imagining it was her nipple. She closed her eyes.

  ‘How do you know about that?’ she said, wiping the mayonnaise from his cheek with her finger.

  He put out his tongue and licked her fingertip.

  ‘Because when she was being sedated for the operation, she started talking about you showing them to her. She even asked if I’d seen them.’

  ‘You didn’t say anything, did you?’

  ‘I was a little wound up about something else,’ he replied, poking the bitten sandwich into her face as she took a small bite. ‘Can you eat chicken?’

  ‘Yes,’ she frowned, shaking her head. ‘I didn’t want to show her but she asked and-.’

  ‘Show me your breasts.’

  ‘No.’

  ‘I want to kiss them.’

  ‘I can’t do it,’ she said, shaking her head and tried to step around him but he pushed her up against the counter. ‘It would upset me.’

  ‘You not trusting me enough, upsets me.’ Ed bit into his sandwich and looked at her. ‘But I’ve got a lot of time on my hands and I’m willing to wait.’

  ‘What? A week? A month?’

  ‘For as long as it takes. Even a lifetime.’

  ‘Very romantic words.’

  ‘Honest words and I’m a romantic man.’

  Flora turned around and put the remaining sandwich onto a plate before she made another one.

  All Ed wanted to do was stroke her body, feel her skin and get close. He knew there was no point reasoning with her when she had something fixed in her head.

  ‘And most of all, I want to make love to you,’ Ed said, feeling the emotions bubble in his chest. ‘Only you. So when you’re ready to commit to me, I’ll be there, waiting.’

  He noticed she let her head fall and took a deep breath.

  ‘Come with me to the fund raising on Monday. I’m taking the kids and everyone will be there. It’s a good cause and I want you to meet the people who have survived and the people who won’t.’ Flora turned and looked up at him, this time her eyes were filling with tears. ‘My friend Paulette, she’s only got a few weeks and I’d love for you to have a chat. She’s very funny, very positive about her health and her body. A wonderful woman.’

  Then she wrapped her arms around him and buried her head in his chest. Ed put down his sandwich and hugged her fiercely back, never wanting to let her go.

  That’s when he realised she needed his physical support not just physical love to get her through this bad time.

  And that’s what he was going to do.

  ‘Are you sure you want this sign?’

  … laughed Flora as she set up Paulette’s fortune telling booth.

  ‘What’s wrong with it?’ sniffed Paulette, wearing a striking yellow outfit which matched the decor.

  ‘‘Paulette’s Predictions’? Is that the best you could’ve come up with? What if someone asks you about lottery numbers?’

  ‘I’ll tell them something,’ she said and smiled at
Flora struggling to hang up a sign. ‘It looks amazing.’

  ‘It looks like a banana coloured tardis.’

  ‘Maybe I’m the new Dr You Hoo!’ laughed Paulette.

  Flora turned to look at her friend and noticed she was a little tired. Paulette caught Flora’s eye and grimaced.

  ‘I’m fine,’ said Paulette, staring back at her. ‘Don’t worry about me.’

  ‘I can’t help it,’ Flora replied, immediately her eyes welled up and she breathed it back in. Paulette shook her head and walked closer. ‘Is it straight?’

  ‘Stop doing that. Let it out. And talking of that, have you spoken to that Matias man?’

  ‘Not since I punched him.’

  Flora looked up at the summer sunshine and the trees surrounding the green. Everyone seemed in high spirits. It was going to be a wonderful warm bank holiday Monday. Her eyes darted around the stalls, mainly the food ones that had been set up. She hadn’t realised the organisers had been working so hard.

  Then her eyes settled on some of the people from her art class who were going to sell paintings and little craft gifts.

  She did a double take.

  Paulette’s large banana picture was on an easel.

  ‘You’re selling it?’ Flora asked, trying not to laugh. ‘Really?’

  ‘I have a smaller one for my leaving party.'

  ‘You can’t call it a ‘party’.’

  ‘My party funeral,’ sighed Paulette, turning to look at the art stall. ‘And the large one can be bought by any fool who thinks it's art. I’ve painted loads of them!’ She laughed. ‘It’s all for a good cause.’

  Flora looked down at Paulette who was smiling brightly and examined the other people setting up.

  It’s at that moment she saw it in Paulette’s eyes.

  The sadness.

  Because it startled her, she slightly lost balance on the ladder as it wobbled underneath her feet. It was only when someone grabbed her around the waist, she stopped from falling.

  ‘Jesus! You nearly gave me a heart attack!’ he said and she turned to see Ed looking up at her. His head was in front of her breasts. ‘You need to be careful.’

  ‘Ah, you must be Ed Carter the carpenter with creative hands,’ said Paulette, snapping out of whatever she was thinking.

  Flora stood up straight on the ladder but noticed Ed hadn’t let go.

  ‘I’m fine now,’ she whispered.

  ‘I like it,’ he grinned.

  ‘You like where your face is, that’s why,’ she said, knowing she wanted to push him away but couldn’t.

  ‘Let her go or she’ll start getting agitated. Very much like a child with special needs,’ sighed Paulette, stepping forward and giving Ed a massive hug. ‘And what an extraordinarily handsome and strapping man you are. Let me see.’ She immediately grabbed his palms. ‘You must come into my booth. I can see you have an interesting life.’

  ‘He doesn’t believe in all that, do you?’ Flora said, knowing Paulette was up to something.

  ‘Creative hands,’ mumbled Paulette.

  ‘That’s the name of my company.’

  ‘She likes them. They make her happy in all the right places,’ smiled Paulette as Flora grimaced. ‘All she has to do is let go.’

  ‘Why don’t you go and get me a cup of tea while I’m putting this together?’ Flora asked, knowing what her friend was up to.

  ‘You see, it’s very hard for her to realise the only flaw is how she feels about herself not what others see.’

  ‘Go now.’

  ‘Ed, it will be hard but it will happen,’ she continued, ignoring Flora’s signs to leave. ‘But come into my booth and I’ll tell you more.’

  ‘Flora’s right. I don’t believe in psychics and talking to people from the other side,’ he said quietly. Flora’s heart was starting to melt, seeing his warm smile. ‘I think you have to just take what life gives you.’

  ‘You come into my booth and I’d like you something!’ laughed out Paulette, still holding onto his hands.

  ‘Go get my tea and stop acting like a strumpet,’ Flora said loudly then noticed Faith, Lola and Max. ‘And talking of strumpets.’

  She caught Ed looking at her up and down.

  Flora sighed.

  He was standing smiling up at her and she was gobsmacked.

  ‘I told you Ed, special needs like a child,’ whispered Paulette, breaking Flora out of her trance. ‘And you’re here nice and early to help us. What a good boy you are!’

  ‘My mum wanted to come. She’s selling on the bookstore and she appreciated the support.’ Ed looked at Flora and smiled. ‘Do you need to raise a lot of money?’

  ‘We always need to raise money as there’s no cure for cancer and, unfortunately, it hits us all, one way or another,’ Paulette quietly replied, letting go of his hands and smiling up at him. ‘I know that sounds like an old record but it’s true.’

  She then turned and walked off.

  It’s then that Flora looked at Ed and noticed he was staring at her. For a second, she was totally lost in his gaze and wanted to jump into his arms just to suffocate his face in between her strapped up bosoms.

  ‘Mum!’ shouted Max, running over to her. ‘Mum!’

  Flora watched Ed’s face light up as he looked at the kids and then she noticed her sister had the same expression when she leered at Ed.

  ‘Jesus!’ Flora mumbled under her breath.

  ‘Do we have to stay?’ Max said, running up to her, his face all flushed. ‘It’s really hot and Auntie Faith said she’d take us swimming.’

  ‘But I wanted us to spend a family day together,’ Flora sighed, looking at her sister salivating over Ed.

  ‘Hello Ed,’ Faith said, immediately launching towards him and planting a kiss on his cheek.

  She’d never seen her sister leap up so high.

  ‘Hello Faith, Lola and Max. Good to see you again,’ he said then turned to Flora. ‘I better go and help out. I’ll see you later.’

  ‘Bye,’ she said and noticed Faith eyeing up his backside as he walked away.

  ‘Mummy, it would be nice to go swimming this morning then we can come back for lunch,’ Lola said sweetly. She knew Faith had put her up to it. Her daughter was wearing the pretty light blue dress she had bought on Saturday. ‘It’s just a bit boring staying here all day.’

  ‘Mum, mum, please, please!’ Max begged, jumping up and down. ‘It has a water slide.’

  ‘I’ve got their swimming things and Nathan’s going to join us.’

  ‘Nathan?’ Flora said, knowing her sister was playing the ace card as she hadn’t seen him for ages. ‘Okay, it’s after ten now and this starts in half an hour. Priti, Gaynor and their kids are coming for one o'clock so you have to be back at one thirty or else. We’re going to have a big family picnic.’

  ‘Dad said he might come,’ Lola said, standing closely next to Faith. Even her sister couldn’t hide her grimace at that information. ‘Said he wanted to talk to you.’

  ‘Maybe he needs another smack,’ Faith said quietly.

  ‘Pardon Auntie Faith?’

  ‘She said maybe he needs a snack from the delicious food stalls,’ interrupted Flora, trying not to laugh. ‘You go off and ring me when you’re on your way back.’

  She jumped off the ladder and grabbed Max, giving him a big hug and a kiss.

  ‘Mum!’ he said, looking around to see if he knew anyone before kissing her back.

  ‘Now listen to your aunt and do as you’re told,’ she said, smothering his cheeks in kisses before grabbing Lola and doing the same thing. Her daughter openly like the affection. Flora then looked at Faith before mouthing, ‘don’t let my child get chatted up by boys.’

  Her sister’s response was to smile at her as if she was mad.

  ‘Come along kids. Let your mother carry on creating her circus tent. I’ll get you something from the cake stand before we go,’ Faith said cheerfully. The kids ran at high speed and she looked across the green. ‘Ed Car
ter, aye?’

  ‘Pardon?’ Flora said, looking innocently at her while trying to figure out where to drape the next piece of material.

  ‘If you fancy him that much, just go for it.’

  ‘Who said I fancied him?’

  ‘Oh Flora, do you think the whole world is naïve as you?’

  ‘You mean stupid, don’t you?

  ‘You’re so transparent,’ she laughed. Flora hated her teasing and just glared. ‘It’s obvious you fancy him. He, on the other hand, I’m not quite sure.’ That comment made her step back in astonishment. ‘I mean, he likes them young and you’re not, are you?’

  ‘Piss off!’ Flora hissed seeing Faith found it funny. ‘I look good.’

  ‘You’d look better if you weren’t so off.’

  ‘Off?’

  ‘Are you deaf?’

  ‘Not with the size of your mouth, I’m not,’ she mumbled and then received a slap on the arm. ‘Why’d you do that for?’

  ‘God, stupid sister,’ she laughed. ‘He fancies you. Even I could tell when he forgot the phone and you? Well, if your knickers are dry after looking at him then I know you’re an old prune.’

  ‘Go away,’ Flora said, trying not to make eye contact and seeing Paulette walking towards them. ‘I don’t want to talk to you about it.’

  ‘So there is an it?’

  ‘You’re so annoying.’

  ‘And you’re so virginal I’m surprised your hymen hasn’t grown back with reinforced steel.’

  ‘Now girls, stop quarrelling,’ Paulette said, greeting Faith with her arms open. ‘Don’t you look well!’

  ‘So do you,’ Faith said and Flora knew her sister was being polite. ‘You’re half the size. How’d you do it?’

  ‘It’s called cancer. It takes the poundage off.’

  ‘Oh,’ replied Faith, not knowing how to reply. ‘I’m sorry. Flora said… and… you know…’

  ‘It’s okay Faith. Will you come to my party in three weeks?’

  ‘What party?’ asked Flora turning to look at Paulette.

  ‘I’d love to! Better go and see the kids. See you later!’ Faith said, running off.

  ‘Party?’ Flora asked once again and then she knew what Paulette meant. ‘You mean funeral, don’t you?’

  ‘It’s a party.’