Wolfsbane

by Andrea Cremer

  The sea. Waves lapped the shoreline. The sunset washed the rippling surface with color, rendering it a deep violet with the occasional flash of rose. I stared at the water that stretched beyond the horizon, understanding why people once believed the ocean led to the edge of a finite world.

  It wasn’t until Shay put his arm around my shoulders that I noticed I was trembling.

  “You’ve never seen it before, have you?” He gazed out the window.

  I shook my head, still numb with the shock of the move and flustered by the way this new place seemed to reach inside me and squeeze my heart.

  “Yeah, it’s the ocean,” Adne said. “Unless we landed in the wrong place.”

  The ocean. That was the scent I couldn’t identify. I’d never smelled anything like it.

  “Where are we?” Bryn went to the window.

  “Cinque Terre,” Connor answered.

  She frowned. “Where?”

  “Italy.”

  PART III

  PARADISO

  You shall leave everything you love most dearly: this is the arrow that the bow of exile shoots first.

  Dante, Paradiso

  TWENTY-SEVEN

  “ITALY?” MASON EXCLAIMED. His hands were pressed up against the glass. I knew how he felt. The barrier to the outside world made it hard to believe the paradise beyond these walls was real.

  “Sorry.” Connor grinned. “I know you’re gonna miss the cornfields.”

  Adne rolled her neck back and forth, grimacing. “That was rough.”

  “You okay?” Connor asked, his smile vanishing.

  “I’m fine,” she said. “Tired but fine. They’ll be expecting us to assemble in the main hall.”

  “I want to see Ansel,” Bryn said suddenly. “Can we make sure he’s okay?”

  “He’s fine,” Connor said. “The move went perfectly. If we’re here, he’s here. It’s an all-or-nothing kind of deal.”

  “But—”

  “Look, kid,” Connor said. “We need to let Anika cool off before we start asking her favors. Calla’s little brother messed up big time. It’s going to take a while before we can sort that out.”

  He and Adne exchanged a glance that made my teeth clench. Neither of them thought Ansel’s predicament could be sorted out.

  What is going to happen to my brother?

  Bryn’s shoulders slumped. Mason took her hand, looking at me.

  “He’ll be okay.”

  I nodded, feeling less certain of that possibility by the minute.

  “We’ll get you something to eat,” Adne said, frowning. “And then find you a place to stay. I’m sure you’d like to get cleaned up.”

  I traced her assessing gaze at Bryn and Mason. They did need cleaning up. Still wearing the wreckage of clothing from the night they’d been made prisoners, dried blood and grime caked their skin. A sharp pain gripped my stomach like I’d been sucker punched, their ragged appearance reminding me again of all they’d been through.

  I kept silent as we fell in step behind Connor and Adne, who led us to the stairs. When we reached the first-floor landing, Adne gasped.

  “Look!” I followed the line from where her finger was pointing. Mason and Bryn gasped too.

  We’d paused just outside the glass doors leading into the courtyard. Beyond the invisible barrier, the broad central space was transforming before my eyes. The empty, slumbering earth had come alive with unfurling leaves and splashes of bright color from budding flowers. Fountains among the flower beds bubbled with water.

  Connor whistled. “Man, the Links work fast. Nice.”

  “They always do,” Adne replied. “But it always amazes me.”

  “What are the Links?” Mason asked, his brow knit like a vine curled around the marble staircase on the other side of the glass doors.

  “One of the Academy specializations,” Connor said. “Eydis and Haldis, mostly. They integrate the building into the local ecosystem.”

  “Like gardeners?” Bryn asked.

  “Some of them do focus on the gardens,” Connor replied, rubbing his belly. “Which is good news. Mediterranean climate means we’ll be eating better fresh food. Too many root vegetables back where it’s winter. What do you think? Olives and lemons are the specialty in this region, right? I thought I read that in the memo about this destination. But that was supposed to happen in the spring. Looks like stuff grows well enough now too.”

  “Wait a sec,” Mason interrupted. “How is that possible? Those plants are growing at warp speed.”

  “Elemental magic,” Adne said. “Eydis and Haldis—water and earth. The Links connect to the earth, the roots of plant life, and the natural aquifers. It’s how we get our water supply and geothermal energy.”

  “Good to see they’re working,” Connor said. “I know they weren’t as far along as is ideal for the relocation.”

  Mason was shaking his head, and I noticed his hands were shaking too. “That’s just not possible. Who can do that?”

  “We can,” Connor said, turning away from the courtyard. “And as far as possible goes, who here can turn into a wolf?”

  “He has a point,” Shay said, smiling at me. “That’s what got me to believe in all this stuff.”

  Mason nodded reluctantly, but he muttered under his breath as we descended to the bottom floor.

  “I wish Monroe could have seen that.” Adne sighed. She bowed her head and I heard a quiet sob.

  “Just get through the assembly.” Connor put his arm around her shoulders. “Then we’ll have time to talk about your dad.”

  Unlike the near empty dining hall I’d entered the previous night, the Searchers’ meeting space was now filled to capacity. Men and women milled around, shoulder to shoulder, the buzz of conversation swelling in my ears like a low roar.

  “There’s Tess.” Connor moved into the crowd.

  “Who’s Tess?” Bryn leaned into me.

  “She’s part of their team,” I said. “The Haldis team.”

  Bryn frowned. “The Haldis team?”

  “I don’t—” Words stuck to my tongue. Haldis, Eydis. The snippets of information I’d gleaned from my brief stay with the Searchers hadn’t prepared me to answer her question. There was so much I didn’t know yet about the Searchers, and now I’d thrown my pack, or what was left of it, into their world without any certainty of the future. What if I’d made the wrong decision? The buzz of voices was getting louder. My head started to throb.

  When I didn’t speak again, Bryn shrugged, turning to follow Mason to the table where Tess was sitting.

  “Calla?” Shay was watching me.

  “Go ahead,” I said, pushing him after Bryn. “I’m right behind you.”

  As he threaded his way between Searchers, I slowly backed toward the hall and, reaching the stairs, I bolted.

  I wasn’t sure where I was running, but I knew that I needed to run. A week ago I’d been in Vail about to merge my life with Ren’s, to take the first step on the path that had been set for me my whole life. My destiny. Did I even have a destiny anymore? Did it belong to the Searchers now?

  A growl rolled through my belly at that thought. I wouldn’t be caged by anyone. I’d served the Keepers unquestioningly, and look where it had led me. If the Searchers offered a way to fight my former masters, I would. They’d killed my mother and tortured the people I loved. I wanted them to pay. But I had to fight them on my own terms. I was making decisions for my whole pack now. I needed to be sure, and I wasn’t sure of anything.

  I was halfway across the globe, my former life ripped to shreds. What had seemed like the strong bonds of my new pack had disintegrated because of my choices. Fey, Dax, and Cosette—they’d all sought refuge with the Keepers, clung to that life despite all the pain it had brought us. I was certain that if Connor hadn’t arrived, my fight with Dax would have been to the death. And my brother had become a shadow of himself, so much so that even he had been willing to betray me to recover what had been taken from him.

/>   But Ansel wasn’t the only one whose life had been twisted beyond recognition. Ren’s future had been snatched away the night I’d run from our union. His pack was gone, his legacy handed back to Emile, who was more monster than man and wasn’t even Ren’s father. I stumbled, tripping over the truth that caught me unaware. Ren’s future had been stolen long ago, when Emile and the Keepers killed his mother. My would-be mate’s life had been built upon a foundation of lies, blood, and bones.

  I clasped my hands, covering my eyes. Lies, blood, and bones. Had our lives been made of anything more? As my fingers pressed against my face, the cold metal of my ring snapped at my skin like a static shock. The ring Ren had given me. A promise of things to come.

  I want you to know that I—

  What? What had Ren wanted to say to me? What had stopped him? How much would he have shared with me?

  The hall suddenly felt too narrow, like it was closing in on me. I had to get outside. I need to breathe open air. I ran faster, searching for any way out of the corridor. When I came to the next set of glass doors, I burst through them.

  The salty richness of the ocean air poured over me. Bent over, resting my hands on my knees, I gulped it down like water. The vivid hues of the sunset had given way to the muted shades of twilight, lavender, and gray. Even in the shadows the braided, white gold band circling my finger glinted, catching any light and throwing it back at me. Mocking, hateful.

  It reminds me of your hair.

  Even now the rope of white blond hair hung over my shoulder, swinging as I stood up. The courtyard was massive, and what had been a near barren garden just yesterday now quivered with lush greens and filled the air with the crisp, mineral scent of fresh herbs.

  I ran toward the nearest greenhouse, searching. Anything would do, as long as it was sharp. My breath was coming hard, ragged. I jerked the door open, stumbling past seedlings and potted plants. The scent of compost swirling through the humid air was sweet but a little sickening. I found what I wanted at the far end of the greenhouse, resting on the edge of a potting stand.

  I grabbed the pruning shears with one hand and my thick braid in the other, just above where my neck met my shoulders. I didn’t stop cutting until the twisted length came off in my hand. I stared at it, tossing it away like a live snake. My breath had slowed, and my head felt light, free. I set the pruning shears down and left the greenhouse.

  It was raining when I stepped back into the courtyard, the softest of rainfalls. Bits of moisture touched my skin like the memory of raindrops, nothing close to a steady downpour, lighter even than mist. Warm night air slipped along my skin. I headed for the very center of the garden. The path led me to a wall of carefully trimmed hedges behind which I found a central square. Steps descended into a layer of flower beds lined by blossoming fruit trees. It was perfectly still, secluded from the rest of the world. At the heart of the square was a stone fountain of four carved figures. It was a strange group: a woman in armor like a knight, a man in a monk’s robes, a child with scrolls in his hands, and a woman in a simple dress grasping a hewn tree branch. Water swirled in a pool at their feet, reflecting the silver hues of the clouds above.

  I walked along the edge of the pool, trailing my fingers along the surface of the water. The sunken garden should have offered tranquility, but I couldn’t sense anything beyond the storm in my mind. I raked my fingers through my shorn locks, startled when my hands came free just above my shoulders.

  “Good hiding spot.”

  I whirled to find Shay coming up the garden path to where I stood near the central fountain. My jaw tightened. I became still as the four statues as I watched him approach.

  “Quiet, secluded.” His eyes flicked around the flower beds blanketed with shadows cast by tall hedges. “Creepy enough to keep most people away at night, but not too scary.”

  The corner of his mouth crinkled in a smile. “I give it an A minus, but only because the moon isn’t out tonight.”

  He came a step closer.

  “Thanks a lot.” I kept a hard, warning edge in my voice. “How did you find me?”

  He ran a hand through his hair, glancing at me sheepishly. “I followed your scent.”

  “Of course.” I turned my back on him, moving away from the fountain, deeper in the shadows of the garden. “Go away.”

  “No.” He darted in front me, blocking my path.

  “I’m serious, Shay.”

  “So am I,” he said. “I don’t think you should be alone right now.”

  “That’s really not up to you.”

  He reached out, pushing back the pale strands of hair that curled along my chin.

  “No more braid?” He smiled, twirling my cropped locks in his fingers. “I like it. It’s a good look for you.”

  I didn’t answer and his smile disappeared.

  “You don’t have to do this alone,” he said quietly.

  “I am alone.” My chest felt hollow.

  “You know that isn’t true.”

  I drew a sharp breath and fisted my hands. “Tell me what is true, then.”

  “You loved him.” His eyes held mine.

  “Yes.” The word hung between us, naked in its truth. I couldn’t find another breath to steady my trembling body.

  He took another step toward me, and his words came out low but steady. “But not the way you love me.”

  I stumbled backward as if he’d struck me.

  “Calla,” he murmured, and reached for my arm. “You can’t blame yourself. What you’ve done, how you feel, none of it makes Ren’s choice your fault.”

  I twisted away from his outstretched hand.

  “Stop,” I said. “I don’t want to talk about this. I can’t.”

  “You’re right,” he said gently. “It’s not the time to talk.”

  He moved so quickly his body blurred for a moment, and then I was in his arms. I gripped his shoulders, my nails digging deep into his skin, but he didn’t let go. He only held me closer.

  I snarled and struggled, but Shay kept me locked tight against him. I felt the steady beating of his heart next to mine. Moisture coursed over my face, the silky mist in the air mixing with my tears.

  Shay kissed me gently, tracing the pattern of sorrow with his lips. I clung to him. Quiet, soothing murmurs passed from his lips as he continued to kiss me.

  When the storm of grief subsided, I lifted my chin and my lips found his. He slowly pulled my lower lip between his teeth, and I threw myself into the kiss with such force that Shay lost his balance and fell, sending us tumbling down the garden path. We stopped rolling and I found myself beneath him. I’d barely caught my breath when I kissed him again, my fingers fumbling with the buttons of his shirt. I felt a growl rumble in his chest, and he shrugged the shirt from his shoulders. I twined my fingers in his hair, slightly damp from the subtle rainfall.

  His lips moved down my neck. I could hear my own breath come in short, shallow pulls, almost gasps. The night air of the garden, sweet with budding roses but sharpened by the salt tang of the ocean, slipped between my parted lips.

  Shay’s mouth stroked the bare skin of my stomach, and for a moment I wondered what had happened to my shirt. And my leather pants.

  His kiss moved further down the line of my body and I no longer cared where any of my clothes were.

  Layers of silver clouds above us parted like gauze curtains lifted by the wind, and slender vines of moonlight curled around our bodies. Shay moved over me as the night sky opened up, his body silhouetted by pale light that shimmered in the garden. His lips brushed my cheek, his hips settled against mine. I could feel every pulse of his heart as we pressed together, skin to skin. I shivered as I felt something deep within me rising, opening, aching for something only he could give me. When he kissed me again, I thought I would break apart with need. He pulled back, watching me silently. A question waited for me in his eyes.

  “Yes,” I murmured.

  I kissed him again and there were no more questions to be
answered.

  TWENTY-EIGHT

  SNIP. SNIP.

  Bryn’s mouth twisted as she concentrated on the task at hand.

  “Really, Cal, if you wanted a haircut, you should have just asked. You’ve made a complete mess of this.”

  I watched strands of my hair drift to the floor. It hadn’t been easy to get here. I’d managed to disentangle myself from Shay’s arms and slip unnoticed from his room, quietly making my way back to my own.

  It wasn’t that I was sorry for spending the night with him, but I didn’t know what the morning would bring, and my head was already spinning with everything that had transpired in the last twenty-four hours. I needed some time alone before I’d be ready to talk to Shay about last night in the garden. And his room.

  The memory sent flames licking through my belly and I shuddered.

  “Calla, I swear I’m not going to hurt you,” Bryn said through clenched teeth. “Can you please hold still?”

  “Sorry.”

  Guilt had nipped at my heels with each step as I’d searched for my packmates, finding them at last exactly where I’d left them. My stomach rumbled as the scent of freshly baked bread and citrus rolled over me. The dining room was busy that morning, but not full to bursting as it had been when I’d fled from the previous night’s assembly. Searchers moved in and out of the room, some grabbing croissants and popping grapes into their mouths as they went about their mornings, others lingering over steaming cups of coffee at various tables.

  Nev, Bryn, Adne, Connor, Silas, Tess, and Sabine—who appeared to have fully recovered—were gathered at the same table where the Searchers had shared coffee two days ago. Ethan and Mason were conspicuously absent. I approached the table slowly. Someone else seemed to be missing too. My chest burned when I realized I’d been looking for Monroe.

  I’d joined them at their table, ready to make up an excuse for my absence and answer all the questions they had about how I’d come to form an alliance with the Searchers.