Nevertheless

by Ailisa Madrone

  "Yes, sometimes," She admitted. "I still haven't forgiven him for what he did. We grew up together and we had the same parents, and yet we would never have taken the same path. I want to look him in the eyes and ask why. Why choosing cowardice when he could have had the glory for contributing with something?"

  "Not everyone was born to this glory that you speak so proudly. But I'm beginning to think that sooner or later no one can escape their responsibilities."

  Mabel turned her face to the side, refusing to look at him. "You talk like it was a curse."

  Shai's mouth curved into a smile while he saw her speak like that. "Please forgive me; I don't want to sound like I'm arguing with you. I cannot take the risk of scaring you now."

  Shai took a paper out of his pocket as he walked away from the table and approached Mabel. She felt scared when he opened up her fingers. He delivered a note in her hand and closed her fingers around it. "I can imagine the prince won't let you come with us."

  She swallowed the courage when he was so close to her, flexing her fingers around Shai's fingers. Therefore, she whispered the words against his chest: "I think so."

  "You'll be able to find me at these coordinates. Look for me if you need anything in the future. Don't ever hesitate, okay?"

  Mabel could tell he was serious about it. "I hope I don't need to." She said, still accepting his note.

  "So do I."

  XV

  "She arrives at Black Mountain in the twilight."

  The Ballad of Mulan

  ◊

  Mabel was wrong about one thing. She thought she could be like those men, but they indeed would never be equal. For example, on a trip like that the soldiers would never look at each other, making sure they were okay, if the saddle wouldn't be hurting their skinny asses, or if their hands were calloused by the continuous rein's friction. With Mabel in the army, it was different. Now and again, someone would check on her, except Sven and Navi: for them, it was like everything was the same.

  It was when Yelsew looked at her for the third time that Mabel started to realize something was wrong. She raised her hand touching blindly her cheek. "Is there something in my face?"

  "No, I'm just checking on you."

  "I'm fine, although I have had better days." She took the horse to his side. "My dad warned me that one day I could find men who would want to test their strength at the cost of someone weaker. I'm not saying that I have been weak, they just caught me on a day I was unprepared."

  When Yelsew put his head down, Mabel saw him smiling. "That's funny, because that was what Sven said when you two had a fight."

  "Why does he do that with those soldiers by the way, and nobody does anything about it?"

  "He's not really like that."

  Mabel rolled her eyes, holding the reins more tightly. "Yes, he is. Don't defend your friend."

  "Right, he is." He finally admitted. "But not for this reason. Sven has the general's permission to tease these soldiers. If they were threatened by Sven maybe they could fight back, so they would become soldiers that at least know how to defend themselves."

  "That doesn't make sense."

  "Yes, because it didn't work, but... something extraordinary happened. You came and faced Sven like that, and now the soldiers think they should not be behind a girl. Somehow you got to do with them what we couldn't."

  Yelsew trotted away from Mabel, leaving her with a certain glimpse in her eyes. Is it possible that things are finally changing?

  For a girl who only knows the limits of her kingdom and don't know anything but the craft of being a peasant woman, it was expected that she acted enthusiastically in strange lands.

  While Navon used the hill to make the access to the castle more difficult, Turilessa's kingdom was beyond that strategy. The castle was situated on the edge of a mountain and had a wide deep lake around it. That way, if someone was coming – if a maritime troop was coming, they'd know. There was no other way to get to the castle except for this one.

  Across the river, where there were no more mountains, Turilessa's residents built their houses and their business establishments in the flat area. For the local residents to have a hearing with the king, they would have to cross the lake the same way the visitors would have to do.

  The castle gates were easily opened to Navi and his men when he said he was Navon's representative the king was waiting for. They walked alone by the castle when a royal servant appeared to take them to Turilessa's king.

  They were taken to the throne hall, where they would have the meeting with the king. It doesn't matter if someone is part of the royals, when someone is in another king's castle, that's how things worked. Navi was treated the same way as anybody. In their territory, anyone was less important.

  Light came in through the windows and along with it a sudden wind lifted the transparent curtains reaching the ground. The floor shimmered by the reflection of the sun, and there were flowers everywhere. Everything seemed aphrodisiac and beautiful as an eccentric island discovered somewhere.

  A green blur with a floating trail behind the pillar got Mabel's attention. She stopped following the troop when the figure stopped moving, and she went a couple of steps back to face the intruder. She found very ironic Navi and his men being soldiers and not perceiving someone lurking behind the pillars of a castle in a land that was not theirs.

  Mabel could not see the girl's face. Her face was covered with a cloth of the same texture of the rest of her dress, leaving only her eyes out. And those fluttering wet eyes could say more than anything Mabel ever heard.

  "Mabel," Navi said, turning to her when the throne's hall door opened. His approach frightened the woman, and she retreated to the shadow and disappeared there.

  "I know what you're going to say." Mabel looked at Navi, distracted. Of course, he wouldn't let her go in there with them. After all, she was just a girl he is taking care of, like a younger sister or an inconvenient burden. "Stay here, correct?"

  "That's it."

  Mabel wasn't looking at Navi when he entered in the throne's hall, her attention returning to the woman who appeared again behind the column. The woman looked at her with bright fearful eyes, and Mabel took unconscious steps forward. There was something behind those walls for that woman to come quietly asking for help.

  She should go in there and call the prince, but he'd scream and say she was fantasizing things. Whatever that woman came to warn, there was no time left to wait for him to come back.

  Behind the pillar it was dark because of a gap between walls, a narrow passage that, to go through one, someone would have to have their back against the wall, pulling a leg after another, an arm after another.

  Mabel crossed the darkness, and she stopped at one open place without not knowing where to go. The woman who was showing her the way had gone. But then she heard a low and helplessness clear and painful shout. Her hand got to the sword on her back, and it was the only sound she could hear. The shout didn't happen again, but the sound of a stiff thing clicking on something malleable and fragile was heard instead.

  Initially, what could she do? She could run away, pretending to be deaf and blind. But Mabel never liked to pretend. She wasn't deaf and blind, and she had hands.

  Behrooz was a tyrant, as much as Balthasar was. Bus instead of enslaving entire cities, he would steal girls while they danced at festivals or on their way home. It took some time for people to find out that the Behrooz's men were stealing their daughters, and when their parents asked them, they would be killed. Those who came back were carrying a message: ''Behrooz was the king, and he could have their daughters.''

  Behrooz was the king, and they couldn't do anything.

  Mabel' shadow appeared at the door, and she saw a big scary man with iron fists hitting someone. The woman was tiny compared to him, so Mabel didn't notice her before, cowering in the wall's corner like an animal. There were slaps in her face and punches in her head, and then he took a whip from his waist. The girl was too brave not to
scream for help and cry for mercy. She was too brave to be treated that way, and someone would have to do something.

  Mabel jumped on his back, her legs wrapping his belly, and she grabbed his neck with one arm while the other pointed the knife to his neck.

  Navi bypassed the commander and the others, and a monarch stood before the other, equal and not equal at the same time. "I am Navi, son of the 50th King of Navon, heir to the crown and king's army general…"

  "I know who you are." Behrooz said in a friendly tone. "I heard about you before. The prodigy son of Dareh, the young man who was born to be king. What do you want, Navi, Navon's heir?"

  "Your Majesty must have heard that Navon is at war. I come to you because we need your help. The soldiers who have served Navon are old, and the few that are left are too young. We are exposed, and this is no secret to anyone. I need men, and in exchange, I offer a part of our production of wood, and we will supply your weapons... If that's not enough, a third of our crops will be given to you."

  "I need time to think."

  "I'm sorry to rush you, but we don't have time." Navi and his men were visibly shaken. They had it coming, but it was disappointing for them to go such a long way in search of redemption, and receive nothing back. If Behrooz wasn't the answer, who else could be?

  "Well, I have to think anyway. You are asking a lot from me. If I do that, if I help you, I have a lot to lose."

  "After Balthasar destroys my city he will come here. No one is safe. All of you who said no to me are afraid to join me, but you fail to see that each of you will always be the next target."

  "You are few, and if I get in this fight, we will be wiped out in the process. As the successor to your father, you may already know that this choice is not easy. No matter what is being offered, there are many other things in question."

  The deal with Behrooz wouldn't be closed, that's what the king was saying. Again, they were left with this feeling they were alone in the middle of a war, the feeling of having their home taken and nothing could be done. Navi didn't know what he could do to save his home, and he didn't even know if there was a miracle for that.

  "When can I expect the courier to deliver me your answer?"

  Behrooz's face looked suddenly sorrowful. "Soon." But for some reason he didn't seem confident about that. "Would you guys like to spend the night here? I will be pleased to have you. I will make you a feast with plenty of food and beverages."

  Vilanis failed to control himself with the word "banquet" and looked at the commander, who couldn't take his eyes off the king.

  "Thank you for your generosity, but we need to go." Navi gave a nod to the king, and when he turned to leave, his men followed him, closing the circle around him; Vilanis was the only one who didn't follow them immediately.

  The door opened before Navi and his men could put leave. The King's Guard came in holding Mabel by her arm, walking with her until he threw her on the floor. She moaned when her recently injured ribs hit the floor, and although it was cold and hard for a while, she was snug in there, gathering strength to stand up. But the guard acted before, crouching over her and picking her up by the hair, a firm and abrupt grip that made her moan with pain for the second time.

  She didn't think that grabbing that man by the back could be a very smart idea. It wasn't entirely an act wasted, since the big guard wasn't match for Mabel's agile legs. He got frustrated and confused that he couldn't get rid of her, until he followed the easy way and pulled her to the ground. But until then, she played with him like a savage in a cage and made him a fool.

  Navi's sword pointed at the guard's shoulder, its cold and sharp blade in his neck without trembling, and Navi wouldn't hesitate if he had the urge to cut his head off. When someone was in a territory that wasn't theirs, the one thing not to be done is point a sword. Navi remembered this recommendation, but one of his soldiers was in the guard's hands, and this insult was bigger than the affront.

  "Let her go," Navi said, as a thunder that threatens and quarrels. "And I will decide if you live or die."

  "You are five and a half," The guard looked at Mabel, firming the grip on her hair. "And I have an army around you."

  "Before you do something, I will have you destroyed."

  "No one will destroy anyone." Behrooz rose from the throne in a peaceful move. "The last thing I want is to cause a war because my soldier hurt the wrong girl. Let her go, Zain."

  Grudgingly, Zain opened his hand. Mabel walked away from him, shaking her shoulders when his hands released her head. Then, Navi allowed himself to put down the sword, but he didn't let his guard down even for a second.

  "Well," The king gave a half sigh, looking at Zain. "What did the girl do to deserve this treatment?"

  "She interrupted me in the middle of one of my admonitions." The guard answered the king, his teeth clenched together. "This behavior cannot go unpunished, Your Majesty."

  "Today it will, Zain." Behrooz looked at the little misfit in the room, looking fiercely at him. "Who the hell are you?"

  Behrooz wasn't the most beautiful thing that Mabel has ever seen. If he was a good man like king Dareh it would be more pleasant to look at him, but he was a bad man who kidnapped girls to treat them badly, and this made him look repulsive. The king's forehead was disproportionate to his face, and he had double chin and saggy cheeks. His image was grotesque. He had small feet, protruding belly and short neck. He barely had any hair!

  Navi's eyes met Mabel's, his face becoming suddenly uneasy. He began to walk in her direction to say something, but she was already talking: "I am Mabel."

  Behrooz's lips formed a smile. "And who is Mabel?"

  "No one important." And unfortunately, that was true.

  The king's eyebrow rose to her, as if he was urging her to speak more. "What were you doing when Zain found you?

  "I heard a scream, and I can't hear someone screaming and do nothing." Mabel said, but she would never tell about the woman's attempt to ask for help. She didn't notice when Zain's hand twitched on the side of his leg. The king shot him a sharp glance, but his hands kept twitching. "And what was your guard doing when I found him?"

  "Mabel," Navi suddenly became rigid, his voice echoed across the throne hall. When the king moved on the throne, the prince's hand moved slowly to the sword on his side.

  The king waved his hand to Navi with an insane smile. "It's okay, the girl is curious. I invite her to stay with us and get to know each other. She will see that it was nothing but a misunderstanding." The king didn't seem offended. He was pleased, actually. He collected eccentric things, and Mabel at that moment seemed like an eccentric thing with her hair and skin sunburned by the sun.

  "We thank you, Your Majesty, but we have to go." Navi put himself in front of the king, and he got Mabel's hands to walk to the door holding her by the arm. It may not have been as strong as when Zain brought her, but it might have been with same anger.

  The commander quickly bowed to the king. "We are going, Your Majesty."

  "Wait a second," The king demanded, for a moment doing each of them stop in their way.

  That's why Mabel stood outside and didn't go in the king's hall. She didn't have the maturity to deal with someone like Behrooz, or with any other person. However, she got in anyway, as a blight that cannot be contained. Mabel was a disaster, and since she showed up, Navi's life has become equally a disaster, and she should stay away. Instead an epidemic, Navi was unable to unlink her. Dareh required that she stayed for a reason that was beyond Navi's understanding. His father would be aware of what he had done when something worse happened, and it would happen.

  "Are you sure you guys don't want to stay?" The king asked pleasantly. Navi didn't answer the king, it was the commander who did. He muttered something about them having to be back as soon as possible – even more now.

  XVI

  "She doesn't hear her parents call, but she

  hears the moans of Tatars' horses at Yen's mountains."

  The Ballad
of Mulan

  ◊

  In the village entrance, in between two roads, the knights on their horses passed by. Traditionally, when soldiers came back from some expedition, the people of Navon would greet them. In the war as well: ahead of the army, women would dance, drums would be played, and things would be thrown from the sky. It was a party, because their soldiers were back.

  For the whole time Mabel kept her eyes on Navi's back, waiting for the opportunity to speak with him. He got off the horse when the extensive line of people welcoming them ended, as well as Mabel and the rest of the troop. As she walked to Navi, Liniquer walked to her, and she didn't see him because she could only see Navi. She only noticed him when Liniquer stood in front of her, blocking her vision.

  "How could you?" He said angrily to her face. "How could you have stolen that chance from me? To get attention? What's the matter with you?"

  Liniquer raised his hand to Mabel, and he would have hit her in the face, but Sven contained him touching his arm, moving his hand away from her.

  "I'm sorry." It was all Mabel could say.

  "I'm sorry my ass."

  "It's okay, Liniquer." Sven put his hand on Liniquer's shoulder, soothing him. "She got what she deserved. She's out."

  "That's not enough." Liniquer said, looking at Mabel. With his hand on Liniquer's shoulder, Sven led him away. But before leaving, Liniquer looked back at her and yelled over his shoulder: "You owe me one."

  Mabel stood still with the horse's rein in her hand, while the soldiers scattered themselves casually as if she hadn't just been mistreated like that.

  Her eyes noticed when Navi turned his back on her. He had interrupted his way when he heard Liniquer, in case he had to interfere, even though he made it clear he wouldn't defend her anymore. Now, he was running away so he wouldn't get caught weakening. But Mabel wasn't about to let him get away. She had urgent matters with him; and urgent things do not wait.