Nevertheless

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Nevertheless Page 13

by Ailisa Madrone


  Mabel watched Navi as he came down from the throne, moving in silence.

  "You're not alone, Mabel." The prince declared, walking around her in the hall. "I heard your conversation with Shai in the tavern when I went after you. I went down to take you some medicine to put on your face, but he got to you first and he kept touching you like that. Is that why you ran away?"

  "I did not run away." Mabel said with her back turned at him. "If you had not blocked my entry into the castle, you would have known that. I came to tell you…"

  "I know," He cut her off, softly. "And I'm sorry. And I've been thinking about reconsidering some of the things I've said to you, in case you showed up. Like your entrance here, for example. You can come anytime you want, Mabel, and you can request a meeting with me any time you want. No one will hinder you anymore." His voice was low, proud to have changed his mind. Princes and kings did not change their minds. "And you can keep your job in the kitchen, too."

  "You dismissed me." She reminded him, hurt.

  "I'm rehiring you again."

  "You said that once."

  "This time, I'm being honest. You have my word."

  He proved that she couldn't trust his word. How could she trust him again?

  She spoke to him over her shoulder. "Why were you not honest before and why are you being now?"

  "My dad told me something."

  Mabel waited for the prince to turn around to ask: "What did he say?"

  "He said that not talking to you was bothering me as much as talking to you." Navi said, standing in front of her. "When I met you for the first time in this hall I did not know that you would be my responsibility, and when I saw Shai doing what I was supposed to do, I realized that."

  "You're not responsible for me."

  "But I am. So if you are going to do any crazy thing, let it be in your home and under my jurisdiction." He said. "You should not get too excited; I'm just giving back your position in the kitchen. You're not going to train with the soldiers or going to fight a war."

  Her face was paper-white. "I killed someone out there."

  "You should not be bragging about it, Mabel."

  "What I'm trying to say," She rephrased what she said, looking annoyed. "It's just that I'm not naive anymore."

  He fixed his unshaken gaze on her. "I'm not making a deal with you, Mabel. It's either take it or leave it." He said in a negotiating tone. "What do you say?"

  XXII

  "Our warrior is back."

  The Ballad of Mulan

  ◊

  Against all expectations, the first person to notice Mabel's absence was her former employer. Martha, the bitter one, realized that Mabel wasn't going to work and booked a meeting to warn Navi, in a hushed and mumbling voice, that she had disappeared. If anything had happened to the girl, she did not want to be the one to blame. Navi asked to Amir, the one that was not his servant, to go check on Mabel. But he did not find her, not even on the second and third attempts. For that reason, Navi personally went looking for her along with his guards. They had to break through the door. But somehow, when Mabel arrived from Tenerife, she was at the same place. When they went through her things, they found out that no one had captured her, that Mabel simply left.

  That's what Aury had told her.

  The two of them were under the tree, in the elevation that Mabel used to be because it reminded him of her father. It was always their place. It would always be.

  "What about the general?" She was curious. "Was he worried about me? Not that I care, I just want to know if he felt guilty."

  "In fact, he was relieved, as his biggest problem disappeared." Mabel immediately looked at Aury in strangeness. But he smiled, and threw his long weird arms around her neck. "I'm glad you're back, Mabel. You're not going to disappear again, are you?"

  "No, Aury. You will not get rid of me that easy."

  They would often see each other now that Mabel was in the army again, and she was already sorry for him, as he would also have to adjust to the soldiers' diet when he was so weak. Food should be strictly controlled, she decided. It wouldn't be like other cities' armies, where soldiers were punished with lashes for overeating. In a way that they wouldn't eat to the point of being tired and sleepy at training, and thus preventing her from having to wake everyone up around the training camp when they should be working hard to defend their city.

  Mabel kept telling herself that she wasn't being bad or tyrannical, that she was doing that for their own good, as well as to all Navon's people. Once they won the war, the soldiers would thank her. But for now, they hated her.

  They turned to the commander, a flood of complaints one after another, day after day, and there was a moment when the commander no longer justified himself and would simply say "it's the general's orders." Navi would not be the challenged if his soldiers questioned him about the decisions he made, and they had to conform like little grumpy kids.

  However, they did not accept it, and Mabel became their target. But their jokes did not bother her, their intimidation, or their stares and thrusts. She was persistent, and none of it affected her.

  She learned to deal with the ordeal the soldiers proved to be, just as she was learning to deal with the nightmares in which the face of the man she killed appeared to haunt her. There was some sort of tranquility amid the nightmares which made it feel real, a continuous punishment. Because that's what was left to a murderer who had not been punished, and she was not as strong as she thought. She was beginning to fear that after she had overcome this death, the others that would come after wouldn't cause her any more guilt.

  She was afraid of losing her humanity.

  Mabel knew that being in the kitchen wasn't for her. Her hair was constantly messy and her clothes dirty. She was a complete mess.

  In the kitchen, Mabel's job was to peel onions, chop up endless bags of potatoes, and wash fruits, these type of things that would not require talent. Epaminondas said she would not be of any help if she did not know how to chop up vegetables at least.

  On that day Mabel would have to serve food in his place. He was supposed to be doing that, but he was not there; he was ill. Without the cook, Mabel had to improvise a meal, a menu that the chef taught her a few days ago. But nothing good came out.

  A plate fell to the floor at the far end of the canteen. Mabel looked in the direction of the noise and it was Sven, calling her attention. She made a move, leaving her spot in the kitchen, as well as Sven, who was coming in her direction shortly after she passed through the counter.

  "You call this food?" He raged against her face. "Well, for me that's leftovers for animals."

  "I just ate." She answered impassively. "Tasted good to me.''

  Sven laughed. "That's what I meant."

  She felt her face burning. "What do you want, Sven?" She asked directly.

  "I want our food back."

  Mabel shook her head. "I will not do it."

  "Maybe we can come to an agreement." The others nodded in agreement as Mabel stared into Sven's eyes. "Why don't we make a bet? The word of the one who wins will prevail."

  Mabel raised an eyebrow, enjoying the idea. "And how would that be?"

  "A fight."

  It seemed a little daring, but what could she do? She would not let them intimidate her anymore. From the beginning, something had to be done.

  "A fight between you and me?"

  "Yes," Sven said. "I'm after retaliation for that other day."

  After work, they met up behind the arsenal's wing.

  Sven was already there when Mabel arrived. Everyone was there. She knew that some people would want to watch it, but she did not expect that many.

  Mabel walked towards them as she pulled the quiver's sword tied to her back while the soldiers howled, underestimating her, as if to say, "who does she think she is?"

  "I am the commander's daughter," She would repeat to herself. "I am the commander's daughter."

  Sven was waiting for Mabel, triumphant.
Each time she took a step, the circle would close around them.

  "I'm warning you." Sven said as Mabel stopped in front of him. She could let him come to her, but she thought she would look more confident if she were to come to him. "I will not have mercy."

  "You don't have to. Because I will have no mercy when I knock you down."

  "How can you be so sure?"

  Mabel shrugged at him. "I've done this before, haven't I?"

  He caught her off guard, and pushed her shoulder with both hands. Sven was twice as big as she was in every way, so his strength made her fall back down to the floor.

  "You bastard," She repeated the swear word she heard Alastair utter, running both hands together to wipe the dirt from when she had got up from the floor. "That was not fair!"

  Sven climbed a ruined wall with a precise monkey-hop and walked over it with the confidence and balance of a feline. "Who said?" He challenged her, stopping to look at her.

  She was not as bold as Sven to climb and stay on top of the wall, and she was dizzy with the fact he was amused by her lack of skills. Then, acting like any stupid soldier, she threw herself at him, trying to knock him down. Which was useless, and Sven increased his speed, until he stamped his feet on the ground.

  Mabel felt comfortable on the ground, and smiled when she tried to surprise him with a kick in the face, which Sven blocked. Somehow, he did not retaliate, but the stubbornness in his eyes showed that he wouldn't give up. She threw herself up on the ground with her hands propped up and levitated her feet up, clinging it to his neck, keeping him occupied as she reached for the sword. When she did, her feet loosened and she did a back flip, facing Sven again. Her sword stopped an inch from reaching the cloth of his shredded shirt. So an image floated in her mind and Mabel went into a trance. Her hand began to tremble and her head was an explosion of images and sounds.

  She killed a man. It could have been anyone there.

  She lost control, knocking the sword to the ground. Then, Sven punched her in the face and she fell back to the floor. He took only two steps and pointed the sword at her stomach. She could feel it in her clothes, from the top to her stomach, and she was afraid that the dress would rip in half and show what was so well protected.

  "I got you." Sven said. Was that the retaliation he was talking about?

  Mabel stayed down on the ground after Sven took his sword away and took steps back, staring at her until he disappeared from her sight. She took three deep breaths, and then was taken off the floor by Aury.

  "What were you thinking?"

  "Aury," She touched her nose, and it hurt even more. "I think I broke my nose."

  "Of course you did. Look at Sven's muscles and look at you!"

  Mabel removed her hand as she felt her fingers wet. "Is this my blood?!"

  "Come," Aury said, taking her by the shoulder to guide her. "Let's take care of your nose."

  XXIII

  "Ten years flew by."

  The Ballad of Mulan

  ◊

  Mabel did not break her nose. If she had broken it, the healer would have to put it back in place, but it wasn't the case. It made it easier for Mabel to meet the soldiers the next day, not having a cap on her nose; would reduce the feeling of defeat. Not that it went unnoticed; they would not leave her alone anyway. Because losing to Sven meant losing to them, and on that day the soldiers felt like they won a battle.

  Because their food was back.

  The soldiers stared at Mabel as she walked down the training camp, all stopping to watch her walk away in a hurry. However, she did not look at them. She did not look anywhere.

  "How's your nose today, Mabel?" Sven's hoarse voice echoed through the open space. He did not seem worried; he was just teasing her again. She could not blame him for messing with her nose though, when all he did was give her what she asked for.

  "Ah," She shouted in response as she walked. "You know, having a little trouble breathing. But do not worry, I'm fine!"

  Yelsew laughed silently, waving his hand at Mabel as her eyes flickered past him. "You did well for a girl." He said. "And Sven was kind to you; your nose will not look that bad."

  Bursts of laughter filled the place.

  They're all idiots, she thought. Are they the ones who will look after the people of Navon? The ones who will make protect the village, so that women and children can sleep without fear?

  "You should not have come to work today." Epaminondas said as Mabel took her place behind the counter. "They're going to be disturbing you."

  "It's all right." She said, dragging the heavy sack of potatoes through the kitchen as she needed to finish peeling it. "Everyone needs to laugh every once in a while. Maybe they'll start respecting me after that."

  Epaminondas looked at her, barely believing what he was hearing. "Sorry," He said sarcastically. "But how can they respect you by laughing of you?"

  "Shai explained me about empathy. They have seen that I am like them."

  "Who's the idiot who told you such bullshit?"

  "A good friend." She replied, even though it had not really been a question.

  Sometimes, the soldiers would come out of training in groups to meet up at the village's only tavern. They never invited Mabel to go along because 1: she was a girl, 2: girls would not get into taverns accompanied by a bunch of soldiers, and 3: she was not their friend.

  Mabel assumed that today would be the day everyone would get drunk as they left the training camp in groups, smiling at each other, arms tucked into each other's neck and staggering euphorically, looking like teenagers.

  Yelsew trotted over to Mabel and threw his arm around her neck.

  And something amazing happened.

  "Are not you coming to celebrate with us? All the soldiers want you to be there, and they will not, I will not, accept no as an answer. In fact, everyone would pick you up at your place if you did not come to work today. It would not be fun if the reason for the celebration did not come up, don't you think?"

  "What are you celebrating?" She asked, curiously.

  "Your fight against Sven."

  "But I lost."

  He shook his head distinctly. "Not you; Sven. Imagine what a shame it would be if our best soldier lost a fight against you?"

  They had put up the tables together and they all sat down.

  The last vacant place left for Mabel was next to Sven, and she frowned about it. Maybe it was intentional. The soldiers' faces were euphoric, almost as if they expected at any moment another fight between her and Sven to happen right there. On her other side, it was Vilanis, and though he was small they both pressed themselves against her to the point she felt crushed. She could hardly stretch out her arm to get a plate of food and serve herself, she could hardly breathe properly.

  They gave her a glass of drink that slid along the table.

  She found herself shaking her head at the offer, but she did not think she shouldn't accept something that had been so impressively offered. Before she changed her mind, she took a sip and the glass was suddenly returned empty back at the table. She opened her mouth to soften the burning sensation of the drink, controlling herself not to wag her hand and act like a child. That would show weakness, and the soldiers would not see her lose for a drink.

  Smiling, Yelsew across the table had a mischievous look. "It will affect you quicker if you don't eat before you drink." He said to Mabel. "That's the first rule of a professional drunk. You will not want to indulge in the drink because your stomach couldn't handle it. What I'm trying to say is that before the night ends, you'll be carried home like a bag full of shit."

  "Apparently you know all about drinks."

  "A little more than I'd like."

  "Thanks for the warning," Mabel raised her hand to point at him. "But you should be careful, too. The way things are going, the only one who might be carried home is you."

  Without any worries, Yelsew went back on the drinking. Mabel shook her head in disapproval as she looked at the people in the t
avern. She did not like being as familiar with that place as she was.

  "Something unusual happened today." Vilanis did not wait for the curiosity of the others to raise. "The general is coming here, supposedly to celebrate with us. Isn't that weird?"

  "And why would that be weird?" Sven said, paying no particular attention to that.

  "Well, he never bothered to come before. I wonder if he would be coming here to watch us, and who and why."

  Mabel was agitated when those words reached her ear. "Is the general coming?" She did not think how obvious and anxious she must have looked. But no one but Yelsew noticed that.

  "I think so." He replied, with a smirk on his face as he noticed her reaction.

  The general cannot see me looking like this. "I need to go to the bathroom." She said, suddenly.

  A sarcastic look crossed Yelsew's face. "Of course you do."

  As she walked to the bathroom, Mabel wondered why she was acting like that with the mention of Navi coming.

  She washed her face and fixed her hair. She had just left a job where she was stuck in a room all day, with strong smell of food and grease. It must be because of this she wanted to dress up and look a bit better; she tried to convince herself.

  Mabel returned to the soldiers' table, feeling anxious. Suddenly, she thought she was being silly for having that agitation about Navi, and she slipped her arm around a random soldier and drank another glass full of alcohol.

  She must have been crazy.

  Crazy, crazy, crazy.

  When she sat back on her seat, Mabel had a hard time finding it because the effect of the drink was quickly getting to her head, and for a moment everything went dark. She bumped into Sven and he intolerantly pushed her away. Then, she looked at the other people that were sat at the table and her eyes met Navi's, curiously looking at her. Her face burned and somehow, blushed, and she wished she was not as easy to read as she thought she was. She looked back at the table, and saw Yelsew smiling at her again. What was his problem?

 

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