Nevertheless

by Ailisa Madrone

  "Yes, that's what I want." Mabel agreed quickly. Although I did not want to join the army to go rescuing princesses. "But… what if this isn't a regular activity of thieves?" She asked, looking at him curiously. "What if it's a trap to attract you there? What if it is Balthasar's men?"

  "Then in that case," Navi's tone was perfectly casual, as if he was not worried. "You'd better stay."

  She was blinking rapidly. "That's not what I meant. It's not that I'm worried about me, I'm worried about you."

  "I got it, Mabel." He said, quietly. "It turns out there's no danger, it was just a few road thieves who approached them and went away. When the messenger left the entourage, they were no longer there. Do you think I would make such a mistake?"

  "Then there's no risk?"

  "No. But in case there is, do you think you could deal with whatever happened?"

  "Of course." And it would be all right if she did not say: "I'm a soldier, after all." Mabel looked at the soldiers spreading out, anxious, and she did not notice Navi frowning for what she had said.

  Mabel being invited to rescue the princess of Tantam was not merit of the commander, as Navi had said. Ever since Mabel returned from Tenerife, Navi has gone beyond his word; one proof was to give her a mission out of the army's kitchen. He preferred to keep her around than to have her walking around with mercenary outsiders. Going along with the soldiers would make her feel useful and important. It would make her not want to leave again.

  "The messenger will show us the way. Let's leave now before it gets dark."

  Mabel nodded.

  Navi met the commander, and they both disappeared into the crowd of soldiers while Mabel remained standing in the middle of the training camp, as if she was paralyzed.

  My first mission.

  XXV

  "In the palace, the Khan asks her wish. "

  The Ballad of Mulan

  ◊

  When Mabel met with Navi again, they were preparing to leave. The soldiers were separating their weapons, each in their specialty, adjusting their boots, checking their cavalry clothes, ensuring that there wouldn't be any incidents.

  There was a commotion. This princess was so important that she could destabilize an army; they were all worried about her being captured and how that could cause a war against Tantam, too. But Mabel knew there was no chance of that happening, because Navi himself said so, and he looked very calm about it.

  Mabel was walking, pulling her horse by the bridle when Navi saw her. She noticed when he looked down at her familiar uniform, shaking his head at the loose armor that did not belong to her, at least one person and a half could fit in there. He wondered where she should have gotten it, as he looked her up and down with disapproving eyes.

  She stood up, raising her feet: "Did you expect me to accompany you in a fancy dress, general?"

  "That's not what I'm looking at, Mabel!

  Not understanding what he was saying, she turned to the horse and gripped the rounded pommel of the bridle, Vilanis chivalrously coming after her to help her get up.

  Mabel turned around to face him, realizing what he was doing. "It's ok, Vilanis." She smiled at him. "Thank you for caring about me."

  He took a step back as she effortlessly mounted her horse.

  They could not stop seeing her as a helpless girl. No matter what they saw her do, they would still think she was fragile. Not that it was a problem. Wasn't that how she was supposed to be?

  And the princess was exactly what she should be. Vulnerable. Delicate. Sweet.

  Beautiful.

  As a woman should be. Mabel always knew she wasn't as gracious as the other girls, but next to the princess that was even more clear and cruel.

  Mabel tilted her neck on Yelsew's direction. "Doesn't Tantam know we're at war?" She asked, intrigued. "How can they send their princess to Navon at such a hostile time?"

  Yelsew shrugged disinterestedly. "Maybe they just don't know about it."

  "Tantam is five days away. That possibility you are suggesting is not possible."

  "So perhaps the Tantanians live in a niche, after all."

  Mabel could not hold back a laugh.

  "Why are you laughing?" Yelsew asked, sounding rational and curious.

  "Just sounded weird. Tantanians. Have you ever thought about how ridiculous this word sounds?"

  But Yelsew was serious, and Mabel got embarrassed.

  Mabel watched Navi sit next to the princess and hold her as if she was a frightened little animal, and she took advantage of it, holding those arms that Mabel would never get close.

  How terrible were the thieves? Did they threaten them? Did they hit them?

  "Tell me something, Yelsew." Mabel scratched her throat, shy about what she was about to say. "The general told me that the thieves just stole them and left, leaving no damage behind."

  She made a pause to wait for his confirmation.

  "Yes, that's what happened."

  "Then what is this all about? I mean, the princess looks so desperate. When I saw her running to the general, I thought someone was chasing her, and now she does not come out of his arms anymore!"

  Yelsew turned to Mabel to raise an eyebrow in irony. "Are you jealous?"

  "No."

  "Yes, you are!"

  "I'm not. I do not even know what that is. Besides, I don't even know why I said this to you." She stamped her heels on the horse to make him move, offended. "You always have to twist the things I say."

  "Sorry, Mabel!" He stood on the saddle as he watched her move away. "It's just that you seemed very affected by it!"

  It was raining. A drizzle falling over their heads. Mabel's eyes blinked, troubled, unconsciously, her whole body trembling.

  "Don't you want to go with the princess in the carriage?" Although Yelsew's tone was playful, he seemed concerned. "We will not mind if you're comfortable in there while we'll be facing the rain here outside."

  "I am fine."

  His smile of sarcasm was brief. "It's up to you. You're the one who will get wet."

  "You're also getting wet, Yelsew."

  Mabel's horse rode along with the soldiers' horses, in synchrony, like a real troop. They were two groups, one ahead of the carriage, escorting the princess and another one behind. The general, Liniquer, Sven, these guys who could not bear to be in the same space as Mabel, were ahead. So, she would go in the back with Yelsew, the commander and Vilanis. The men who did not mind being nice to her.

  Ahead of them, there was a very long and tall bridge, connecting one end to the other. The width would support three horses side by side or two carriages, in order to have some space for the crossing.

  They were far above sea level. Mabel's throat tightened and she let out a deep sigh she'd been holding since she'd seen the river they'd have to cross.

  "I do not recall crossing this bridge when I left Navon." She complained to Yelsew, sounding fearful.

  "It's because the silly coachman has taken the wrong turn."

  "Why don't we go back and take the right path?" She shuddered. "I do not like the idea of going over that bridge."

  "I do not like it either. But we're already here, aren't we?"

  Mabel looked down. The water in that river seemed dead – it wasn't that active and pure water that takes us to summer days, instigating us in a healthy and mischievous way to venture on it. It was a black water instead, totally still, leaving no trace of life or even an air-bubble, so peaceful that it could seem harmless to those travelers who dared to cross it. And there lied the intrinsic power: it would attract victims, once it looked so calm, inviting them to the surface.

  There was something mystical about that river. So silent, calm and deadly.

  The two groups were divided into three. That way, they would reduce their weight as they passed over the bridge, making sure to protect the princess' carriage with more people on both sides in case someone tried to rob them again. The commander and the rest of the princess' caravan would go ahead. Navi chose L
iniquer and Vilanis to be last, along with the soldiers sent to escort the princess, the remaining ones would go with him.

  Mabel and the others had to wait a long time before the first group reached the other side. The bridge was long, and it took a lot of attention and calmness to cross it.

  A haze built up over a part of the river, just beyond the bridge, gusts of cold wind deflating vulnerable bodies in the rain. As they walked along the bridge, it creaked, as if it felt pain for them to step in the wrong places. Mabel looked at Yelsew next to her, but he kept looking ahead, not as scared as she was.

  She gulped. But the bridge should be stable, shouldn't it? For holding on for this long? It should take a hundred tons once more.

  The wheels of the carriage passed through the rotten wood on the bridge, though seemingly preserved and resilient, they split, holding the back the wheel between the gaps, causing the carriage to tilt to the right; the carriage was long and roomy, too imposing for that little hole where it was now stuck. Two people could pick it up from the back and pull it aside, away from the hole, so that the coachman could put the horse to walk again.

  It would have been all right if only the princess and the lady-in-waiting had been frightened, but the horse raised its head to whine with fear and climbed on its hind legs, causing the coachman to fall from his post. He was astonished at the way the animal reacted, and before the horse began to gallop, he rolled to the side to escape his paws, but did not measure how far he could roll, and his body passed through the wide space between the fences.

  The noise caused by the fall was heard from high up. A big "boom". Mabel gasped, feeling guilty for having underestimated the bridge.

  Her attention turned to the horse, snorting, walking backwards. It happened too fast for anyone there to take the initiative to calm the animal in the first place. By controlling the horse, everything else would be under control. The pressure with which the horse retreated caused the rear of the carriage to burst the bridge's fences.

  The carriage was hanging half off the fence, the abruptness causing the princess' companion to slip through the door open by the impact, screaming desperately. It was only for a few seconds that she managed to hold herself, when at last she let herself down with the door.

  Neither the lady-in-waiting, nor the coachman, nor anybody returned to the surface, they were left there. At least for as long as that water wanted to hold them, and then they would finally return to their place of origin.

  The princess' carriage was hanging on the bridge, bent over, its weight drawing the rest of the transport down. Only one person was inside, and at any moment that person could no longer be there along with the carriage, horse and everything else in the way.

  Yelsew and Sven did not know what to do; they were not instructed how to act at such a moment, all they knew was to knock down bodies and not save them. They were shaken by the fact that from one moment to another the order has turned into chaos.

  "Someone try to calm the animal," Navi shouted, taking the two soldiers out of the trance. "Make him stop moving like that. Talk to him, stroke his ears, do anything to calm him down!"

  Yelsew went to help with the horse, staggering. That was the only time Mabel had not seen him smile at anything. Whatever he did, it worked. The carriage stopped moving because of the restlessness animal.

  Mabel was static, the only one thinking about when she should be acting. She did not know where she was, her soul did not come back to her body yet, when she should be taking action, but she was paralyzed.

  "If we loosen up the screw and separate the horse from the carriage, it will fall; we can't do that, the horse is holding it together. We need to suspend the carriage so we can get the princess out." Navi looked at Sven, tense. "She's still there, isn't she?"

  Sven nodded. "We need help."

  "There's no time." Navi disagreed. "Until they get here it's going to be too late. We have to act now."

  "And what about when we suspend the carriage? We are not strong enough to hold it, someone will have to stabilize it so the princess can get out of it."

  "Yelsew can do that."

  The princess, Mabel gasped. She could not fall.

  This silly princess. Why did she always have to unbalance everything?

  Mabel jumped off the horse carefully, fearing that the bridge would collapse with the abrupt impact. She wondered if it wasn't the princess in that situation, if she would still have the courage to intervene.

  "Maybe I should do it." Mabel told them, her voice sounded hesitating. "I'm lighter than you three. If I step in the right place, maybe I can do it."

  Sven and Navi said nothing. Maybe they agreed with her, they just didn't have the guts to ask her to do something like that. They just knelt, one at each end of the carriage to pick it up.

  Mabel did not look at either of them as she pushed herself forward; she did not want to take the risk of going back like a scared little child. The carriage creaked as she got in it, and no matter how careful she would be, the carriage was still leaning against the bridge and moving all the time.

  "Hang on, princess." Mabel said as she balanced her hands and feet, trying to work out a way to get her out of it unharmed. "No matter what happens."

  Indeed, the princess would not let go so easy, that girl enjoyed her life. She had a beautiful palace to return to; who would give up something like that?

  As Mabel crouched in the middle of the carriage to stabilize it, Sven and Navi would hold the underside of the carriage, balancing it so it would not fall completely. Yelsew was able to release the horse's halter, saving him from a tragic ending for when the carriage fell; and now he had joined Navi and Sven to help them.

  Mabel did not see any of it; her eyes were only staring at the princess. Then she looked down. She should not have. She slightly staggered, dizzy, and the carriage creaked again. As if it was reacting.

  "Be careful." Navi warned her. But Mabel knew it was not about her that he was worried about. There was something more valuable there. She was only a peasant among peasants, and if it was her in that situation, no one would have taken the risk to save her. She would have just disappeared, like the lady-in-waiting who fell on the river and no one else remembered anymore.

  Ignoring her disappointment, Mabel caught the princess by the arm and just like it was a feather, she managed to pull her out. For a moment they stood side by side, which made the carriage hang down a little longer.

  "Get out," Mabel said quietly, as if by altering the tone of her voice or by moving, the carriage wouldn't stand any longer. "Slowly."

  Navi had his hand stretched out to the princess, ready to rescue her, as if she had just left a carriage in a formal circumstance.

  He moved her to the other side.

  Now his eyes were on Mabel's back, as anxious as hers. "Now it's your turn, Mabel."

  She turned to him and was not being careful anymore. All she wanted was to get out of there, and she was afraid Sven would remember that he did not like her and decide to let go of her side of the carriage. Navi's hand was stretched out at her, just as he had done to the princess of Tantam. His fingers were uneasy, rushing her, and Mabel tried to think of an occasion when he would take her with his outstretched hand like that again.

  One more step, and she would get out of the carriage.

  One more step, and she would be stepping on the bridge.

  Seeing her almost touching the general's hand caused Sven and Yelsew to release the carriage, relieved. Their hands must have been screwed, that's why they rushed to get rid of the weight, and the carriage at last was released. No one thought that they should have only let it go when Mabel was safe, no one thought that the intensity would make the bridge swing completely and Mabel's body as well.

  Why did not they think about it?

  It cannot be said that Mabel's fingers did not touch Navi's fingers. It was raining. His hand was wet; her hand was wet. There was nothing she or he could do, not even a miracle, not even the gods, no one
could have stopped the inevitable from happening.

  The way down to the river would be a matter of seconds, so Mabel held her breath, so she could hang on for a bit longer under the cold surface. The last thing she saw were Navi's eyes; the eyes of someone who lost something.

  Then, she fell, as physics determines. When her back hit the surface, she gasped with fright and her mouth opened. So silly! Why didn't she prevent herself? So Mabel was sucked down like something that finally goes back into place.

  Even though her father taught her how to swim, it would be pointless now as she would sink like an anchor. And who can stop an anchor from reaching its destination?

  Mabel kept her eyes open to see if anyone was coming, but no one was coming. The only person in this world that would come for her would be her father, and he was not there now.

  So that's how my story ends, she thought. Losing my senses under a river of darkness.

  XXVI

  "Mulan does not want a ministerial position,

  Mulan does not want anything extravagant."

  The Ballad of Mulan

  ◊

  When she opened her eyes, Mabel could see the sky. It was still raining, and the rain made her eyes uncomfortable. She blinked. Once, twice. Three times. She was stretched out on the floor with no energy to move. She was trying to understand. A while ago, she was sinking like dead weight. How could she be here now?

  "Are you ok?" The voice came from far. Very, very far.

  "Yes!" This time the sound was closer to Mabel. Navi. "Take the princess to Navon," Navi shouted, without moving any part of his body. "We're going to have to find a way back. We'll meet back at home!"

  Mabel's head ached. Her chest as well, feeling heavy. She used both hands to stand up, and she found herself being dizzy and pathetic.

  They were by the river. It must have been where the prince managed to bring her back. Up there, Yelsew and the others were on the bridge; looking down at them.