Nevertheless

by Ailisa Madrone

  They arranged a horse for her and Navi and some food for the way back in reward for saving them from the thieves. Only one horse, because they had no more left, though Navi had assured them that he would return it with a generous bonus. By Navi's diplomatic ways, the man could be sure he would fulfill the promise, but there was nothing he could do about it. How would he carry wood without a horse? The outsiders were lucky enough to have the lumberjack give them one.

  Mabel did not protest, but wondered how they would travel under that condition, and she thought about it while Navi got up on the horse and took charge of it. Because that was what a prince would do. They would find something and would be quick to think it belonged to them.

  "Come on up." He said to Mabel, pointing to his back with his head. Then he reached out to help her, as her feet were on the stirrup, making it unable for her to climb on the horse on her own.

  She settled into the saddle, and did not know how to act – where she should hold herself.

  "I think you might want to hold me." His tone was of approval, his voice scratching with discomfort like anyone who was not used to having someone that close to him.

  "I should not..." Touch him like that. Then Navi trotted off abruptly, and Mabel had to wrap her arms around his belly and cling to him. And as they stepped away from the property they spent the night, she took advantage of the horse's bumpy rhythm to lean her head on his back like someone who had the right to do it.

  They had to pass through the village to get to the castle, and Navi forgot that Mabel did not live in the castle as he did and they were going towards the big gate.

  The doors closed, and Mabel waited for Navi to get down from the horse. And when it was her turn to come down from the saddle, he surprised her and reached out and put both hands down her waist. Her feet hit the ground, supported by him. With her hands on his shoulders, she was looking at him. Straight at him this time.

  "Thank you for saving my life. I have not thanked you before."

  He agreed, nodding. "I was wondering when you would thank me." But by the color of his face, he seemed modest.

  In another dimension, when she was on the bridge and Mabel down below, Navi did not think twice about jumping into the river to save her. He would not think twice to save anyone. He just could not see anyone in need of help and not try to save them, just like Mabel, who could not turn her back on someone needing help.

  "But do not do it again." She said, seriously. "Never jump in rivers after someone. You cannot think you have the duty of being a hero now."

  "Even if it's to save you?"

  "Even if it's to save me."

  At that moment, the royal guards left their posts and went to check on Navi, asking questions like "Are you all right, Your Highness?", "Do you need anything, Your Highness?", and took him toward his home.

  The King's Guards were different from the soldiers on the King's Army. These were more robust, less bourgeois and intelligent. They are the front line fighters. If Mabel went to war one day, that's where she would be, along with Yelsew and the others. There are the guards of the king and the soldiers of Navon. It was not too difficult to distinguish one from the other.

  Now, thanks to the prince, Mabel would have to walk all the way to her house.

  XVIII

  "When her dad and mom hear that she is

  arriving, they will wait for her by the gate."

  The Ballad of Mulan

  ◊

  Mabel was back at work. And as she made her way to the kitchen to go back her job, the soldiers would stop what they were doing to watch her walk past them. Next to her, to her right, Aury slightly bowed in a respectful reverence, Mabel rolling her eyes for the exaggeration. Next to him was Yelsew, always smiling at something.

  "Is that how you want to be in the army?" It was Sven, and she did not have to look back to recognize the owner of the voice. "Do not you know how to rescue someone without falling during the process?"

  She was back, just like warriors returning from the war, and she wondered if they would see her differently now.

  When Mabel went back home that day, the sun was setting. From a distance, she spotted someone standing at her house's door. Close enough, she saw that it was only Amir.

  She felt chills in her stomach; her footsteps were suspicious as she approached. For him to come after her it must have been something important and urgent, like the last time. He went there before to announce her marriage to the prince, and she had no idea what it might be this time.

  The horses supporting the chariot obediently waited, and she was curious to know if they would still hold the same position of submission if she came furtively from behind and frightened them.

  Although she was not a bourgeois or aristocrat, though she was only a peasant, Amir in his royal uniform bowed to her, as a greeting. "I have a message for you." And he handed her a letter.

  Mabel opened it to read it herself, but Amir was already announcing:

  "You're being summoned to go to the castle."

  She ignored the envelope in her hand and looked at him.

  For a man directly linked to royalty, Amir was not presumptuous. He was nice to Mabel while she was in the castle and he was cool with the servants as well, and that was something to make her feel comfortable around him.

  "Why?"

  "I do not know. I'm just here to deliver the message. You should wear something decent, it's an official call with the king."

  "Official call? I've never heard of it while I was in the castle."

  "I've just made it up. It's my way of telling you to wear something nice. I think you'd like to be prepared." He smiled at Mabel in a meaningful way. "Now go get ready. I'm supposed to escort you to the castle."

  The dress Mabel was wearing was not her best one, but she liked him. The holes were carefully patched and in order to make it last longer, she would only wear it in special occasions, though people might think it looked a little old. It was a gray almost blue, with a soft texture, long-sleeved, where the sleeves would serve as a glove. From her stomach up to the neckline, there was an interlaced brown lace, in zigzag, to make the dress fit better, and underneath, there was a white petticoat made with some cheap fabric, compared to the ones women would wear on balls.

  She tried to do something sophisticated to her hair, but it was not good enough. Her hair looked messy as if she'd just received some bad news and ran straight away to check it out. Amir seemed in a hurry, and she did not have enough time to come up with something better or fancier.

  Well, that would do.

  Mabel pushed her steps toward the big door where the king would be waiting. The two guards guarding the doors opened them, and she went in, stumbling over the man sitting in a chair bathed in raw gold. She leaned toward him, greeting him with the greatest reverence ever. When she raised her head, the king was looking at her.

  He pointed at her with his left hand's finger that revealed a sapphire ring in her direction. "You look good. How have you been?"

  "Very well. Thank you for asking." Mabel answered, inexpressively. Her eyes were full of questions. "Did something happen?"

  "No. No, I just called you here because I need to fix something. I made a promise to your father and I did not keep it. I don't think I'll ever be at peace with myself if I don't do something about it."

  She was listening to him, blinking several times, trying to figure out what the king was talking about.

  "I know a man of possessions who is looking for a wife. He is a little older than you are and has some children already, but should be enough to provide you some comfort. He owes me a favor, and I thought we could join interests. I would be making sure you stay safe, and in return I would fulfill my promise. I would finally be free with a clear conscience. I cannot be in so much debt with your father."

  "With all due respect, Majesty, but marriage is not the answer to everything. Besides, I gave up marrying a prince whom I admire and who is not a widower. Why would I marry a man who c
ould be my grandfather?"

  The king's smile widened. "Wenceslaw is his name, and he is not that old. He's my age, actually." He said, unconstrained. "Since you do not want a profitable marriage, what can I do for you then?"

  If the king asked, he was supposed to grant it, and that opportunity might not happen twice.

  "I want to be part of your army."

  "I'm so sorry." He shook his head. "That is beyond my reach. It is up to the general to who choose the soldiers. He brings them to me. I cannot get past him like that."

  Her face did not move. She stood there strong, just like the sound of her voice and her heartbeat. "I believe Your Majesty is above all these things. I know if you want to do something, the general is not someone who will stop you."

  The king laughed. Not in a sarcastic and arrogant way, but in a proud, paternal way. Just like Amyntas smiled at her sometimes. "You'd make a great princess."

  "The general does not think so."

  "The general," He said, promptly. "He's a blind boy. And you would have been his eyes. Will you join us for dinner?"

  The invitation took her by surprise. The last time she had dinner with the royalty she was still engaged to the prince of Navon. This time, Mabel would sit at the table as a peasant in her worn-out dress. It seemed like the king wanted to cheer her up. He was a good king. A king on the verge of madness, but a good king.

  "The prince will not like it."

  "You've just confronted the king. Now you're worried that Navi will not like it?"

  Mabel had to admit he had a good point.

  However, Navi showed no displeasure when, accompanied by the king, Mabel sat at the table. He almost liked it. And this time, she did not notice it.

  The king had her sit next to him, as if she was the guest of honor that night. Mabel, Navi and the king were silent until the princess of Tantam arrived late to the dining room. The three of them stood up in greeting. A woman would not have to stand up in the presence of another, especially when she was the king's guest, but Mabel thought that if two royalties stood up, she would have to do the same.

  Soray recognized Mabel, and nodded at her. It was not intense and expressive; she did not throw herself at the feet of the girl who saved her life on the bridge.

  The table was long and the food was abundant, as if they were serving a battalion. A banquet was placed into bowls made of gold and silver, with two kinds of roasted animals, a pheasant and a lamb, soup, fruits and nuts... all just for them.

  While Mabel was seated next to the king at the head of the table, princess Soray positioned herself next to Navi at the other end of the table.

  "Do you have hunting season here?" The princess interacted with Navi while the others listened. "I feel sorry that poor animals are so brutally hunted. It is such an overrated sport that it has become a tradition among monarchs and their guests, every kingdom is part of it now. Do you take part in this evil activity?"

  "Would you like me to be the type who doesn't?"

  "Yes. It would be a shame for someone like you to hunt defenseless animals for fun. My esteem for you would increase if you were the type to defend them as opposed to killing them."

  Mabel really liked to eat, and she did not want to pay attention to the random conversation instead of all that food at the table. But it was such hypocrisy! The princess did not think of the little animal when he was at her dinner table. Mabel would also defend the end of hunting seasons, but she did not eat the same animals they hunted.

  "What is it?" The king asked Mabel. "Why are you constantly shaking your head like that?"

  She politely smiled at him. "It's nothing." And she went back to eating. "It's just something I was thinking about. Something silly."

  "So, Mabel." Soray said. "Are you engaged?"

  "No."

  "But are you planning to get married someday?"

  "I don't think anyone can understand my choice."

  The princess raised an eyebrow, not understanding.

  "The army." Mabel explained. "I am part of the King's Army."

  Mabel stared at Soray's face. And then someone started laughing, and the only one laughing in the dining room was Navi.

  "I'm sorry." He apologized, more to the king and Soray than to Mabel, when they saw him lose the unattainable posture he always tried to keep.

  All three looked at him, not understanding, except the servants. They looked like stones. Mabel would be friendly with them, because after all, they came from the same place.

  "It's just that..." Navi pointed at Mabel, across the table. "She is a... visionary."

  Mabel wanted to touch that smile and sculpt it to last forever, and then she realized what she was thinking and looked away from him. What is going on with me?

  "Why?" Mabel asked, unaffected, focused on the plate of food in front of her.

  "Because you're not in the army."

  Instead of confronting him, Mabel chose to put a spoon filled with food in her mouth. She chewed in anger, although it was a sin to do so with such good food.

  "I suppose you don't get many marriage proposals around here." It was Soray again. "Having this kind of "choice". Aren't you afraid you'll never get married?"

  "Mabel has been engaged before." The king said, interceding for Mabel.

  Soray was surprised, probably she never thought about the possibility of a girl like Mabel getting someone's attention. "Who? Some blacksmith?"

  "No," The king said, amusingly. His head was pointing at Navi.

  Soray looked at the prince immediately, shocked. However, he did not look back at her. She turned back to Mabel, to the only person who could give her the answer. "That is unbelievable. And what happened?"

  "I broke up with him." Mabel replied with her mouth full, oats scraping out. Navi, with his head down, looked up and directly at Mabel. Her face burned and her cheeks flushed, and she was embarrassed because right under her right eye she noticed a white and wet crumb on top of her cheekbone.

  I'm a mess, she thought. Navi must think I'm a mess.

  Mabel swallowed the food at once and wiped the grain from her cheek with the back of her hand, regretting that she had been so childish in trying to tease Navi to the point of embarrassing herself. However, the most unbelievable thing was that Navi did not deny it. He could have protested for being diminished by a peasant, but he did not. Instead, he held his gaze toward her, until she looked away, embarrassed, looking at the safest place she could find: her plate of food.

  And she thought she was being pathetic. That was not the attitude she should have. A soldier, as she wanted to be, should not be vulnerable in front of general.

  Mabel had the first sip of wine of the evening, and as the glass returned to the table, she wiped her mouth with the back of her hand instead of using the tablecloth, no matter how impolite it looked. Maybe she even did it on purpose. What would the general think if I keep wiping my mouth with a ridiculous cloth?

  "I should go now." She said, throwing her body forward to get up from the table, catching everyone by surprise. "Thank you for the food, Your Majesty."

  Navi got up as well. "I will accompany you."

  Mabel smile, distressed. "It is not necessary. Do not leave your dinner for me."

  "I want to talk to you, actually." He said, assertively. "I have something for you."

  And without any other word, his legs began to move toward the exit. Mabel watched him walk, paralyzed. She stopped in time. Frightened, she remembered to face the king and the princess, and bowed in greeting. The king smiled convincingly as she left the dining room, knowing something she did not know.

  Navi was nowhere she could see. Mabel did not know where he would wait for her, and just followed the path as any other visitor would do, towards the exit. As she reached the stairs, he walked down the other, coming out of one of the several rooms upstairs.

  She stopped moving because that's what you're supposed to do when a prince walks up to you.

  "That's your reward." She had no
t realized Navi was holding something in his hand until he offered her a bag of coins. "If it's not enough, I can give you more. That's the least I can do for saving Soray."

  "For saving Soray." She repeated, offended. "When did any soldier receive such a reward for having done their job?"

  Navi put his hand down, putting the bag of coins down as well. "Mabel," He said, sounding tired. "You're not a soldier."

  "But I'll take it anyway." She did not wait for him to hand it to her, and took the bag of coins next to him. "Thank you, Your Highness."

  She dramatically bounced the weight of the bag containing five hundred gold coins in her hands until she decided to leave. It was a lot of money, and she could not afford to refuse that present.

  She turned her back on Navi to walk down the second step of the palace stairs, and disappeared down the steps. Then Navi took a few steps forward and appeared at the top of the stairs to see her reach the door downstairs. For some reason, she looked back, and was surprised when she found the prince looking back at her.

  But Mabel was convinced that he was just making sure she would get out of his property.

  Or, maybe not.

  "Mabel, wait." Navi said, as he came down the steps, two at a time, then walking faster, jumping from one to the other.

  She turned to him, anxious, with the bag of money in her hand. "Did you come here to get your money back?"

  "I just want to accompany you outside." She started shaking her head in protest, but his two words made her stop: "I insist."

  Navi waved to the guards, and both doors opened for them. Mabel's legs shuddered as she felt Navi's firm hand touching her spine to follow her outside. She walked that way countless times, but never accompanied by him, and this route across the bridge no longer seemed long, dark and lonely.

  Still, it took her a while before she had the courage to say something.

  "I can safely make my way home."

  "I know you can, I'm just taking a walk with you. At the next tavern meeting I don't want to give you reason to tell the soldiers that the prince doesn't know how to be kind to girls."