Nevertheless

by Ailisa Madrone

  Mabel watched Navi go as the tavern door closed behind him. "General!" And she kept walking until she reached him.

  He stopped while Mabel watched his back, until, as if taking courage, he turned around to face the girl who he got tempted to kiss on a night that the sky was crying and the leaves were shrinking.

  "Are you going to marry with Soray?"

  "Maybe." Maybe was a good answer. It meant that maybe he wouldn't marry her.

  "You cannot marry her." She said, pleadingly. "Soray will not be good to Navon, she's stubborn, and she can cause a war due to her bad temper. She is the type who can decide to do something stupid just to get your attention."

  "This will not happen."

  "It will." Mabel was desperate. "I'm telling you, she will do it. She can ruin Navon and ruin yourself; and our effort to defend Navon would be in vain, if we had conceded it to her afterwards. She is spoiled and immature. She's the one who is not appropriate for you."

  Not me, she almost said it. Not me.

  Navi walked impetuously over to Mabel, bent over and looked at her very closely, almost touching her face. "What can I do?" There was pain in his voice, something never shown before. "I do not have a choice."

  "The same way you had no choice when you kissed me? Now what am I supposed to do? This whole time you kept in mind that I was not good enough for you, but you still leaned over and kissed me like that, and now I'll remember what you did for the rest of my life!"

  "I need to have responsibility, Mabel. I was wrong to think I had the right to want anything. Soray is who I need now, what Navon needs. I have to do the right thing."

  "The right thing for you." She said, bitterly.

  "The right thing for everyone."

  Mabel felt miserable inside and pathetic on the outside, and blinked constantly not to cry. Because, after all, she was a girl. They are not supposed to get into a sentimental battle against them, because women always come out of it broken and men don't.

  "I could have been a princess." She said, resigned. "I could have tried, I could have tried to be better, but ... you let me go."

  "The truth that you do not know is that you could have had me. Easily, and you would not need much time. If you hadn't abandoned me, this wouldn't be happening right now."

  "Because you made me feel inappropriate!"

  "I would have fallen in love with you if you'd given me time, Mabel. You are incredible, and you are brave and you…" He took a breath, realizing what he was saying. "Inevitably, I would have, and now it's too late. Please," His jaw tightened. "Please forgive me for kissing you."

  Navi straightened up his body and got up in all his majesty. But from above, he looked upon her with the benevolence of a broken man and not with the haughtiness of a tyrant. Then, he turned his back to Mabel and walked away. Slow steps as he left, as if in hope of his lover to change her mind and say something back.

  It was painful for him too, after all. However, he was born with responsibilities. A nation depended on him, people trusted him. He was not an ordinary man, and because he was not an ordinary man, his sacrifices were not ordinary either.

  Once again, Mabel was left alone to deal with what he left behind. Again, she could see his back when she should be holding his hand. But a strong girl does not depend on hands. Strong girls do not even have time to feel sorry for themselves.

  From the beginning, Mabel had always known that Navi would have broken her heart. And she thought that was what he had just done.

  When she turned to go back into the tavern, Yelsew was standing at the door looking at her. He was not laughing anymore. He did not try to say anything funny, just put his hand on her shoulder and guided her inside.

  "What happened?" Vilanis asked. And whoever wasn't paying attention before, was now. All the drunk men in the room were watching Mabel, who was looking like she was had been hit by a truck.

  "Our friend here was dumped." Yelsew answered for her. In the end she had been wrong to think he wouldn't try to make a joke about it.

  He guided her to her former seat and then returned to his.

  Mabel grabbed a glass with some drink left in it, not caring about who it belonged to and raised it on the table.

  "A little bit of drink, please." She said to no one in particular.

  Yelsew looked amused at her. "The general told you not to drink."

  "The general can go to hell." She snapped, angrily. "Does anyone here care about what that royal rat says?"

  "Oh, most certainly." They all said together. And suddenly, everyone was laughing, each one for different reasons. Sadness had to be brief. Only Sven wasn't; he had laughed enough for the night.

  XXX

  "Then I'll take off the warrior's outfit

  and silently put on my old dress."

  The Ballad of Mulan

  ◊

  Both doors to the throne room were opened to Navi. Inside, he found the visitor waiting for him.

  "You're being invaded." Shai warned, turning around to face Navi. "At some point, Tzara will be penetrating the boundaries of Navon. We have little time until they get here. I brought my men; the expatriates will be here as well. What will you do about them?"

  "I'll tell the guards to let them through." Navi shook his head in confusion. "How do you know that? That Balthasar's men are coming?"

  "We have the means to know about it. We have scouts, allies. They are most certainly coming."

  Navi's face was in panic. "God." He exhaled. And that's all he managed to say.

  "I'm waiting on your commands, general."

  "God, God, God." Navi said again, and ran his hand over his face. If he had somewhere to sit next to him, he would surely have collapsed.

  Another slaughter?

  More losses, more pain?

  More desolation? But this time, was there be anything left?

  Shai kept waiting. He waited a few minutes while Navi regained consciousness of what that meant.

  "First of all, we must bring the whole village here." Navi moved, trying to pull himself together. "I know it's hard and it takes time, but we have to try. We have to get them out of the way when go to battle against those bastards. Then we will call the army. I need to find all the soldiers right now."

  Navi stumbled toward the door, ready to confirm his decision, turning his back on Shai; forgetting about him. But the outcast was too worried about something to allow himself to be forgotten.

  "Do you know where I can find Mabel?" Shai asked, going after him.

  Navi stopped, not only because Shai was talking to him, but also because in that chaos he heard her name. He turned to Shai, his eyes puzzled; because there was no way he could be after Mabel in the middle of that mess for any ordinary reason.

  "Why?"

  Shai knew that Navi was clever and, for some reason, wanted him to know as well. "I've heard Balthasar was asking about her.''

  ''Why?''

  ''I don't know. But just in case, Mabel needs to be here as well."

  "All women and children will be recommended to come here, so surely Mabel will be here."

  Shai nodded, but deep inside he was not convinced that she would indeed be there. As if he knew her as much as she knew herself.

  "Can you make sure of that?" He asked, but his request had a tone of imposition. "I'm not doing this for Navon or anything. My men are, not me. When this is over, I need her to be alive. Can you assure this?"

  "Of course," Navi replied, and the thought of someone liking Mabel to the point of getting into war brought a new expression to his face. Jealousy, maybe. "I'll have someone look for her."

  Everyone in the village woke up in the middle of the night to screams and fuss. Their first instinct was to hide in their homes, afraid that they were being attacked by Tzara again. But then it was a passive type of mess, that made them quietly leave their homes in their sleeping clothes to see who was disturbing the peace of the village. In fact, they didn't find Tzara's men on the way. Shai's men were there, h
elping the villagers, taking them to the castle for shelter.

  Mabel asked a random man of Shai's band what was happening, and terror rose to her face and froze her heart when he knew. But they have help this time and are being warned in advance. Then she calmed down as the informant stepped out to inform what was going on to another person, as lost as she was.

  All the women and children should go inside the castle's wall, where they would be safe. As for men, they should stand and fight. Mabel understood the recommendations perfectly, but she was not sure she would do that. It was not fair on the soldiers. All this time she showed that she was with them, and now, during the most terrifying moment, she would leave them to die and escape to hide in the castle? What kind of soldier would she be if she had done that? And besides, there are more good people than bad people in the world, and it is because of them that the world deserves to be saved.

  She stood still, watching the villagers follow the path to the shelter in their sleeping outfits; they no longer had the time to get changed. Being in their pajamas was the last of their worries. At that moment, would be thinking about shame?

  Instead of accompanying them in the procession to the castle, Mabel got in her house, put on her pants, armor and took her sword, finally going to defend her city, even though that wasn't her job.

  And she waited until Tzara invaded Navon.

  Navi would leave the castle when he should be getting into it, as the villagers looking for shelter. He bumped into the king on the way, who just nodded in greeting to his son, even though he wished he could stop him. Of course, the apprehension was all over his face, but he would never ask Navi not to do it when that’s what was expected of him. At some point, the ruler of a kingdom had to take the sword and defend it himself.

  Vilanis ran to Navi. "General." He said, tired from running.

  "Could you find her?"

  Vilanis shook his head. "No. But maybe Mabel's already here." He suggested.

  Navi nodded, agreeing. And he touched Vilanis' shoulder, as if he had done a good job.

  From inside the palace to the gardens, there was a crowd of women, old men, and children. All incapable of fighting. As he walked to the front gate, Navi looked around it, looking for Mabel. Because she couldn't be anywhere else. She is not that crazy to be out there, he was convinced. She is not.

  Navi wondered what it meant to look for her in the crowd. And if there was a sorcerer that could give him that answer, he would go after him wherever he was and give him anything he wanted for that. He needed an answer. He needed to understand what was going on inside his head.

  The doors easily opened for him, and likewise closed behind him, locking him out of the chaos. And there's something great about this, he thought. Being on the way to defend my home.

  The King's Army was waiting for Navi, lurking in abandoned houses and alleys. In total, they were eight hundred men armed with weapons of war. It was good that Tzara came to their kingdom; knowing the area so well would give them an advantage over the enemies. They hoped it would bring them glory.

  Navi stopped next to Shai, while the rest of the army prepared to camouflage inside the now empty houses.

  "Did you find Mabel?" Shai asked.

  "She must be at the castle."

  Shai's eyebrow rose. "Have you seen her?"

  "No, but she must be there."

  "Must be?"

  "There's no chance she's here, Shai. I know she is not totally sane, but a part of her must be lucid enough not to commit such madness. I know it. Mabel is inside the castle now, safe, just like the others. I know she's not a mad person." He muttered to himself. "She is not."

  The commander was coming toward them, and Navi walked up to him.

  "General."

  "Commander." They greeted each other, standing in front of each other.

  A sense of pride could be seen in the face of the King's Army commander. "I've never seen a prince in front of an army before."

  "These are hard times." Navi replied, impassively.

  "We're waiting for your commands."

  "May Tzara come to us, then."

  XXXI

  "And when I go out to find my fellows,

  they are perplexed and impressed. "

  The Ballad of Mulan

  ◊

  When Tzara's attack began, Mabel left her house and walked to the village, sword in hand, feeling so much anger that she felt fearless. After that day, the world could turn into hell or heaven. The outcome wouldn't torment her. She was a girl standing on a battlefield, facing gods, not knowing whether she would go home at the end.

  Among the multitude of soldiers in armor, Mabel disengaged herself from one to the other, pushing them away with her feet and slamming her sword into their faces and bellies. Sometimes, as much as she did not like it, she had to hurt some. But she knew she could not go on avoiding it for too long. She promised that she would never kill anyone again, but when it was her friends who were being killed, who cares?

  Evil must be paid with evil, and no one could blame her, when she was only trying to survive.

  As soldiers raced back and forth trying to eliminate their enemies and to stay alive, Mabel bumped into Alastair. He stood there, staring at her in shock. "What is she doing here?" But the village was being attacked, men were shouting. Then, he saluted her, the first demonstration of respect she had ever received, and they both ran on different paths.

  Mabel moved like the wind, subtly and rapidly. As she kept on moving, no one would be able to catch. Navi was quick as an eagle, and strong as a lion. He knew he was the target among that battalion of men, but being chased did not intimidate him, and that made him look invincible.

  Sven was the mythical and arrogant centaur who would never be dethroned; he and his opponents knew it. Yelsew was somewhere, trying to survive the chaos. However, by the end of the night he would have made it, because he was too clever to die on a starry night like that.

  But not everyone would have the same luck.

  Vilanis was the insignificant flower among the rocks, and perhaps no one would find out how great was his healing power. He was hit in the face by a sword that knocked him to the ground. He was lucky not to have his head cut in half when he turned his face the other way, but he did not have the same luck when he got a wound from his eye up to his cheek, blood gushing out. The enemy almost finished him, but a Navonian soldier, who had trained with Vilanis a few times, shot him down, slashing his sword in the Tzarian's rib. However, another enemy came around and killed him, then a Navonian took revenge, and this cycle was repeated all night.

  But Aury... poor Aury. At the end of the battle, when they collected the bodies, they would find him fallen among the strangers, struck on the fifth rib by a spear pierced through his fragile body, and all he could do in his defense was to scream. Of pain, of despair. Perhaps he would have lasted longer if he had been braver.

  While he was still distinct among the dead, it was still possible to recognize the boy who did not want to be in the war because all he knew was to paint the images he saw, to capture his perspective in a colorful picture forever, making people see through your eyes. The boy who wanted to try marriage because he loved a girl. People might have thought he was weak, but no, no, no. He was not. If he could defend himself now, he'd say he was just trying to survive. And he had tried.

  After his body was covered and his face hidden by the blanket that decreed the end, no one else would know who he was, what he meant. Only the people whom he loved, who loved him. But they were not there now, and it really did not matter. Aury was not alone. In war, death was not lonely. Still, his friends, his mother, his sisters… would they understand why he had his life taken?

  Then Mabel's eyes met a soldier's. It seemed that he said "I found you," and for some reason she had the feeling that she wanted to run away from him. Instead, she let him come to her. Anyone would have found her at some point.

  He would dress, kill, think, and move differently from the
others, so perhaps he was not just a soldier. A general. People knew whom they were, as they always stood out from the rest. The general would be in the center, he was the most important piece, the heart of the army. If he falls, the army would fall. If they lost their general, they would lose the war.

  Whoever took him down, would have all the glory in the world.

  "I finally found you." He said, walking triumphantly to Mabel. But she was far away, and she did not hear him properly; she could only see his mouth moving.

  And she wasted no time.

  When they were close to each other, she pulled out her sword. He blocked it with the blade and pushed Mabel's away from him, and he hit his elbow on her face. Her head fell back, dizzy. To overcome her blurred vision, she tried to hold on to something, but she couldn't.

  She found out that Sven never really wanted to hurt her when she felt the strong impact of the enemy's punch, compared to Sven's, and she fell to the ground.

  "I figured it would not be hard to take you down, but I did not think it would be that easy." The opponent general said. "I feel even a bit frustrated."

  Mabel was a little dizzy to understand that she was not a random target, and even though she was not thinking clearly she understood that, as an enemy, he was not supposed to be on top of her.

  She was under his feet, after all, and she should use that in her favor. Just like she did with Sven once, she tried to do the same thing with the soldier. But he realized she would try to knock him down, so he kicks her leg so hard the bone snapped. He bent over Mabel and pulled her up by the neck to face him.

  "I could finish you so many ways that I lack imagination right now."

  In fact, there are a lot of ways to finish a girl, but in the end, he was just bluffing holding her that way, as Sven held her once, and just as she finished him she would finish that one as well.