Sinclair and Raven Series: Books 1-3

by Wendy Vella

  She’d thought about her reaction to Max often. It had been instant and unsettling, almost uncomfortable, like wearing a shirt covered in hair. His touch had made her shiver; just a brush of his fingers and she had ached for more. How had she reacted so to a stranger she knew nothing about?

  Was she starved for affection?

  Thinking of it now, she felt incredibly foolish about her reactions, especially when she’d found him gone. Essie was the clearheaded Sinclair. She was the reliable one. She didn’t fall about the place in vapors, or lust after men. That just wasn’t her way.

  Perhaps she had still been vulnerable? What had happened with Tolly must have left her exposed, and she had been there with only Cam, so her thoughts had not been occupied with her family, but only her own. Yes, that was the reason, surely. It wasn’t just Max, it could have been any man and she would have reacted in the manner she had. Hardly flattering, and it had cost her her innocence, and yet she would never regret that. The night they’d shared was a warm memory and would stay that way for as long as she lived.

  “What are you thinking of to make you frown so?”

  “Do you consider me weak and vulnerable, Eden?” Essie answered her sister’s question with one of her own.

  “No! Good Lord, where did that come from?” Eden looked genuinely horrified. “You are strong and resilient, and twice the person I could ever be.”

  Essie wished she’d kept her thoughts to herself. “Now you’re just being silly.”

  “I’m not being silly. You are a wonderful, strong woman, and I often envy you.”

  Essie flicked her fingers, dismissing her sister’s words. “Even my sense is a silly one. Who needs accentuated taste buds?”

  “I’m not sure where you are going with this, Essie, but I have never thought of you or your sense as silly.”

  Neither was she, so she plowed on. Now she’d started, she could not back out, and perhaps it was time to say how she felt. She’d touched on the subject with Cam, and he too had been vehement in denying what she had always believed about herself.

  “I have always felt inferior to you, Dev, and Cam. Not as vibrant. As if I am constantly in the shadows.”

  Eden was struck speechless. Her mouth fell open as she grappled with what Essie had said.

  “You’ll trap something in there if you do not close it,” Essie muttered when Eden remained silent.

  “I cannot believe you feel this way, Essie. Cannot believe you do not see yourself as we do. Strong and silent, yes, but intelligent, and resourceful. You are the important piece in the Sinclair family. You’re our strength. Only you could do what you do, tend the masses.”

  “Hardly masses, Eden. You’re exaggerating again, and please forget I said anything. I’m not sure why I did.”

  “You would not have said those words if they hadn’t been bothering you for some time.”

  “It matters not. It was silly to bring it up.”

  “It matters to you, my dear, infuriating sister. You need to understand that without you, Essie, we, the family, are not whole.”

  Essie swallowed several times. “I— That was a lovely thing to say, Eden.”

  “And the truth!” her sister snapped crossly. “Honestly, you are a goose sometimes, Essie. How could you even think that way, when every day we show you what you mean to us. There is not an hour goes by where someone is not asking you something.”

  She thought about that and realized that in fact it was the truth.

  “When you and Cam left for Oak’s Knoll, Dev came to visit me with Lilly later that day. He was morose, and I felt the same. We both felt as if someone had lopped off a limb.”

  “Charming,” Essie said, but inside she was warm.

  “How long have you felt that way?”

  Forever.

  “Not long.”

  Eden leaned forward and studied Essie, her lovely eyes serious. “You’re lying to me, but I shall leave that for now, and instead say that the thought of going through this,” she pointed to her stomach, “without you is quite frankly terrifying.”

  “I will be here for both you and Lilly, Eden.”

  “Because you are you, I know that. So let us have no more of this other rubbish, if you please. Quite simply, you are our linchpin, Essex Sinclair.”

  Essie nodded, feeling ridiculously happy. She wondered why she had never spoken the words before.

  They traveled the rest of the way in silence, both women deep in thought. When they stopped, Essie climbed down and went to stand below Bids. The man had a strained look on his face as he scanned the area around them. Essie suspected he was looking for undesirable people who at any minute would appear and attack her and Eden.

  “Bids, I understand your wife is with child. Please allow me to congratulate you both.”

  He dropped his eyes to her, and the color leeched from his face.

  “Yes, w-we are... I mean, Mrs. Bids is expecting a child soon, Miss Sinclair.”

  “I need you to listen to what I am saying now, Bids. Listen very carefully. Can you do that for me?” He nodded, eyes wary. “Woman deliver happy, healthy babies daily here in London. Wife and child all do well, with no mishaps.”

  “I understand that, Miss Sinclair, but—”

  Essie raised a hand. “I know you have heard stories, we all have, about things going wrong. But I want you to also know that I will stay in London until your child is seen safely into this world, Bids. I am available to you at any time of the day or night, and more than capable of helping your wife should she need it. I have delivered too many healthy babies to count.”

  The man’s mouth opened and closed several times as he fought for the right words.

  “I-I can never thank you enough, Miss Sinclair, for that offer. It’s true I’m right worried, but knowing you are near will relieve my mind.”

  “Excellent. Now you must listen to my next piece of advice very carefully, do you understand, Bids?”

  “Yes, Miss Sinclair.”

  “You must not upset your wife by continually worrying her about her condition or what she is doing. She will know her limitations, and does not need them pointed out to her. Let her stay healthy and relaxed whenever possible. If you have any concerns regarding her condition, come to me instead.”

  He nodded eagerly. “Oh indeed, I will. Perhaps you would have a tonic I can give my Ellie, as she’s been awful tired of late.”

  Essie smiled. “Indeed I do. I will prepare it as soon as I return to the house.” She saw the tight look on his face ease as Bids smiled down at her.

  “’Tis very kind of you, Miss Sinclair.”

  “And you think you are weak,” Eden scoffed, linking her arm through Essie’s. “Well done, sister, I do believe you have just done Bids’ wife a great service.”

  “Let us hope so.”

  Three large brick buildings stood before them. A path had been laid to the doors, and the place looked neat and tidy, with no piles of rubbish. The windows were clean, none broken, and it boded well for what lay inside. She felt her anticipation gather as she and Eden headed for the front door of the first building, where Mr. Riley had told her to go. Knocking, they stood back to wait.

  “Good morning.” A young boy appeared. His clothes were tidy, cap on straight. His fingers were clasped around a cane.

  “Good morning. I recently visited Mr. Riley’s Apothecary Shop, and he directed me here, as I am in need of purchasing some medical items.”

  The young boy smiled, and it was as he turned his head that Essie realized he was blind.

  “Good morning to you. Please come inside, and I shall call someone to look after your needs.”

  Essie felt a surge of excitement as she entered the large warehouse and smelled the scents emanating from inside. Dried herbs hung from racks, and tables were laid out with a myriad of things that made her eyes widen. She found jars, bottles, and bandages. Further down the table she saw more books.

  “I hear your surprise,” the boy said.<
br />
  “Yes indeed, there are a great many things on display.”

  The boy smiled again. “Yes, Mr. Huntington thought that people would like to have all their needs catered for under a single roof.

  “In the next warehouse we have household supplies, and next to that fabrics, trims, and everything required for garment making.”

  “Really? How wonderful! It is incredibly forward-thinking of whoever is behind this endeavor.”

  “Mr. Huntington is a forward-thinking man, madam, and something of a visionary in many things. His work in steam power is unsurpassed.”

  “Really? My brothers and husband would be intrigued to hear that,” Eden said.

  “Please excuse me while I get someone to look after you.”

  “Can you not do that?” Essie asked the boy.

  “Of course. However, some people would rather have someone with the use of their eyes helping them.”

  “Not us.” Essie looked at her sister.

  “No indeed, young man. We are fully aware of just how strong the senses are when one is removed.”

  Eden’s words surprised him, and Essie guessed he had come up against a great deal of prejudice in his life.

  “In that case, then let me lead you to the first grouping of products. My name is Silver.”

  “What a lovely name,” Essie said, following him. Soon she was lost in the wonder of what was on display before her, and all other thoughts were pushed to one side. This was all she needed in her life. Her vocation would keep her focused and busy.

  Chapter Eleven

  “The only lease I could procure for the season is for that house, Max. Lord Alverson has been forced to leave town due to ill health, supposedly, and yet I have it on good authority he’s leasing his house at an exorbitant price as his finances are dwindling fast.”

  “And it is on a street where many wealthy nobles live? You know how I feel about that, Edward.”

  “And yet it is the only one available on short notice.”

  Max looked across his desk to where his steward and friend stood. A head shorter than he, and thin, having not yet developed into the man he would one day be, at twenty Edward believed he often knew better than Max. Max had made his steward aware on many occasions that was not the case.

  “And you say the repairs to my town house will take many weeks?”

  “The fire destroyed a great deal before it was put out, Max. You could always remain at the hotel?”

  “I have no wish to remain at the hotel. There is very little privacy, and the staff need to be resettled.”

  “Then shall I say yes to leasing it? After all, it has never bothered you before to upset nobility. If any of the boys visit, I’m sure they will be on their best behavior.”

  “No, it has not, and they are better behaved than most of those nobs and their chinless progeny, anyway.”

  “Well then, it is settled. I will organize the move for as soon as possible,” Edward said. “Now, about the mill you have just purchased. Are you sure about the acquisition, and conversion from water to steam, as it will take all your time—”

  “Edward,” Max said in a voice that made his steward’s eyes widen. “If I wish to buy all the ice in the United Kingdom and leave it out in the midday sun, then that is my choice to do so. Your job is to say, yes Max. I like the mill, and while it is run-down in its present state, with changes it will produce great yields. Therefore, I believe the matter is now closed.”

  Edward gave him a small smile. “You hired me to advise you, so I will continue to do that, Max.”

  “I hired you because you can calculate figures quicker than me, and like me you are not bound anywhere. Plus, there is the matter that no one else will have you, so I feel duty bound to keep you employed.”

  “You are lucky to have me,” the younger man scoffed.

  Edward and Max had known each other for many years, but he did not speak of his past, and as Max did not like to either, they made excellent friends.

  “Upstart.”

  “I live to please, and on that matter, there is a wonderful room facing the gardens in Lord Alverson’s for those rare nights I am forced to work into the early morning hours and have no energy to drive home.”

  “As long as mine is better, you can have it,” Max said.

  Edward bowed deep, which he knew annoyed Max, and let himself out of the office.

  Max sat back in his chair and looked around him. Once, this small room would have seemed like a palace to him. Now, he kept offices all over the United Kingdom in various properties and businesses he owned. Some big, others smaller, all fitted with what he needed. Today had found him here, as he had wanted to see how the three warehouses he had set up were running. Plus check on the staff who ran them for him.

  “Mr. Huntington, if I may have a word?”

  “Of course, Mrs. Floyd.” Max waved the woman inside. She looked after the warehouses and oversaw the staff, most of whom were young boys he’d rescued from ships.

  “Peter is not well, Mr. Huntington, but putting a brave face on.”

  “His breathing again?”

  The woman nodded.

  “I’ll come and see him, and we’ll get the doctor to look him over.”

  She was a solid woman, as round as she was wide, and one with a great deal of sense.

  “Any doctor is going to tell you he’s got a weakness, and try and take more of his blood, but that doesn’t help him breathe easier, and only makes him weaker.”

  “Then we will keep searching until we get him help.”

  She nodded, face solemn. It took a great deal to make Mrs. Floyd smile.

  “I’ll go and see to the ladies now then, and leave the matter in your hands.”

  “Ladies?” Max felt a shiver pass along his spine, and could find no reason for it.

  “They just arrived, and Silver is showing them around the warehouses, as they were happy for him to do so. But I want to be there should they ask any questions he can’t answer.”

  “Very well.” Max nodded.

  He wasn’t sure what had him on his feet. Intuition, longing, or just a need to stretch his legs. But seconds later he followed Mrs. Floyd out the door, and walked to where he could look down into the warehouse.

  He had been restless since leaving Oak’s Knoll in the early hours of that morning. Restless and aching. His clothes felt uncomfortable and his skin the wrong fit. It was her fault, of course. Essex Sinclair. Just thinking about her heated his blood. He’d known the woman for two days. How was it possible he could think of nothing but her?

  Did she think of him? Had she been upset and angry when she found him gone? She had every right to be so. After all, he’d taken her innocence and fled, after convincing himself his actions had been for the best. Strangely, with time and distance that thought had not comforted him.

  The night they had made love had recreated itself in side his head so many times now that he loathed going to sleep in case she visited him again. The colors of her hair and eyes, the taste of her lips and skin. Her smile, and the sounds she had made as he’d run his mouth over her body.

  He’d left, vowing never to think of her again, and thought of nothing else.

  Guilt sat heavily on his shoulders for what he had done, and yet had he not left then, Max feared he would never have found the strength to do so, and that would not do.

  “I rely on no one.”

  His eyes ran over the shelves and rows of plants, then down the tables laden with supplies.

  “Essie.” The name left his lips as he saw the back of a woman’s head.

  How he knew it was her, he knew not. Only that for the first time since he had left her his heart felt light, and the ache inside him began to ease.

  His feet didn’t seem able to move, so he stood and watched her as she walked down the rows. Bending occasionally, she’d sniff something, or brush her bare fingers over an item. He remembered how they had felt on his skin.

  “Turn around,” he
whispered, and was rewarded seconds later. Although he could not see her face clearly, the impact made his hands clench. His need for this woman had not eased by even an inch. He had dreamed of her, lusted after her, and longed for her every day since leaving her at Oak’s Knoll.

  “Damn you, why?” he whispered. “What is about you that has caught and held me?”

  Max usually bedded a woman and then never thought of them again, but not this one.

  He’d known she was coming to London, but had doubted their paths would cross; it seemed he was wrong. Was she here to replenish her supplies? Or was one of her beloved family sick or injured? Was that why she was now walking about in his warehouse, just feet from where he stood?

  “And yet you can never have her,” he whispered.

  She wore a deep, rich burgundy bonnet and spencer, the latter covering her lovely breasts. Breasts he had laved in kisses, and pressed to his chest. Her dress was cream with burgundy stripes. Max knew fabrics, and this, he could tell, was good quality. Gone was the woman who often had her hair falling all over the place or bound by wool, and wore worn dresses. Essex Sinclair was now an elegantly dressed young lady of London society. Her gloves were off, he guessed so she could feel and smell. Looking down the row, he found another woman. Would it be the sister, or sister-in-law, or another?

  He didn’t hesitate; in seconds he was taking the stairs down. She would be shocked to see him, and yes, likely angry, but he cared little for that; he wanted to see her. The sense of anticipation thrumming through him should have been enough to keep Max where he was. No good could come from this, but still his feet carried him toward her. Approaching quietly from behind, he stopped a foot from her.

  “Hello, Essex.”

  She had a handful of dried sage in one hand, and he heard the crackle as she crushed it, sending a waft of scent into the air. Her shoulders rose and then fell before she opened her hand and dropped the herb. Turning, she looked at him.