The Guy in 3C and Other Tales, Satires and Fables
Page 8
One day Griswold wondered why the universe started. He was at the shelter watching a show on tv about the big bang, and the scientist with the glasses was explaining about the cosmic atom and was really being interesting about how all the matter in the universe was compressed to the size of a pinhead. Another guy came on and explained what happened in the next few seconds. He was a bald guy so much less interesting. It seems, though, that an explosion occurred and stuff started going all over the place and getting bigger all the time. Griswold listened carefully but kept asking the tv to answer the question why. Why did it happen? How come?
These guys didn't seem to think the question was very important, so Griswold went out on the street. Perhaps there, he thought, people wouldn't ignore his question. A tall skinny guy with plenty of hair on his head came by. He looked smart so Griswold asked him. At first the guy tried to ignore him, but Griswold walked by his side and repeated the question until the guy finally said, "I don't know. Maybe it was because God was lonely."
That seemed like a pretty good answer. Griswold could relate to that, having been lonely once or twice in his day (actually quite often, but Griswold was trying not to think about sad things what with cosmic atoms making such stuff seem pretty trivial). So he left the guy and changed his question to, "Do you think God was lonely and that's why he started the universe?"
Most people ignored him or brushed him off with a "sure, buddy, whatever you say." Finally, though, he came upon a bald guy who looked like he'd been waiting for years for someone to pop this very question. His eyes lit up like firecrackers and he said, "Good question, pal. It just so happens I am God and I can tell you exactly why I made the universe. I just felt like it, that's why. Just like I feel like telling you to get lost."
Griswold knew you didn't fool around with God. He took His advice and got lost.