The Wild Child

by Nicole Jackson

  After getting a DNA test on JJ when he was a newborn, my daddy learned that he’d fathered an outside child. Knowing that this was something my mama probably wouldn’t accept, he hid it from her. My mama eventually found out three four years later and left my daddy…and us. Looking back, it wasn’t that long, but to a five-year-old little girl, it felt like forever. My mama is a nurturer whose presence in our lives can’t be duplicated, therefore, her absence was felt, by us and our daddy. I was too young then to understand what was happening, but I knew that my daddy loved my mama…even when he’d mess up. That was confirmed for me when I cried to him one night about missing my mama while she was gone. My daddy stayed with me in my room all night, cuddling me. When I woke up the next morning, I couldn’t help but notice the dried-up tears streaming down his face. We’d both cried for her. My daddy didn’t smile for months, while my mama ran from heartache. It broke my heart as a child to witness them both fall apart like that. And I’d pray to God every night that he’d somehow bring my family back together.

  As a little girl, I figured that prayer worked, because my mama and daddy found their way back together. I would later find out that there was one condition my daddy had to abide by in order to get my mama back. He had to end his physical relationship with JJ. He was supposed to provide financially but keep his distance. I think that my mama needed time to heal, before being forced to deal with the situation. Outsiders called her selfish, but they didn’t understand how the situation was taking a toll on our family. Nevertheless, my daddy desperately agreed to her terms, which must’ve incited Tyra, because she became hell bent on destroying our family. She’d done everything from calling CPS, claiming neglect on me and my siblings to vandalizing our cars outside of our house. Then just when we thought that it could get no worse, she broke into my grandparents’ home, convinced some coke head that there was a safe there, so he’d helped her break in. They held my mama at gunpoint, while she was pregnant. Things went left, my mama was able to get ahold of the gun and disarm the coke head and her old friend, who’d tagged along. Unfortunately, while she was doing that, Tyra made her way into the room I was sleeping in. Snatching me right out of my bed while I was sleeping, she placed a knife to my throat. I had never been more terrified in my entire life. Thankfully, my daddy showed up, and placed a bullet right between her eyes. And weirdly, visualizing her take that bullet was usually the only thing that could calm me, after she’d show up in my dreams.

  Thanks to Tyra, I knew that the boogeyman was real early in life. My parents had to have some very adult talks with me in order for me to understand what had happened. That night had changed everyone, for better and worse. I can honestly say that the incident with Tyra had made my daddy a better man. If it wasn’t for family and friends reminding us, you’d never know that there was a time that he entertained anyone other than Raven, because my daddy was a faithful man now. And if he wasn’t, he was damn sure excellent at hiding it. I think in a lot of ways my parents’ love was strengthened after that night, but JJ remained their kryptonite.

  After years of avoiding it, JJ became an issue within our household again. My daddy felt guilty about not having him in the same home, leaving JJ at a disadvantage, because his mama’s side of the family were all losers. Raven and Jahrein put nothing above being our parents, so I know that it had to be killing my daddy to leave the raising of JJ up to other people, especially since Tyra wasn’t around, anymore. Therefore, my daddy eventually brought JJ home to us. Of course, there was a family meeting held first, where we were all asked about what we feel. I was mute the entire time, and no one seemed to notice, or at least pretended not to. So, JJ moved in with us. I know that my mama struggled with it, because we were close like that. Even when she didn’t say anything, I could see it in her eyes. Then my suspicions were confirmed when we went to counseling sessions together. We were able to speak freely, and we both expressed what living with JJ made us feel, after his mama had raised hell. Eventually, I witnessed my mama sincerely open her heart to JJ and I respected her even more for that. So, I tried to follow her lead. At this point, I knew that I loved my brother. I really did. But sometimes…merely seeing his face and noticing that he has a smile just like his mama’s was enough for his mama to show up and haunt me in my dreams. He was a living breathing reminder of a dark place, which never allowed me to forget how cruel and cold this world can be.

  None of what I felt was JJ’s fault. I had been taught to understand that. However, that didn’t change the fact that he triggered certain memories for me. And although I was far from passive, I found myself not wanting to break my daddy’s heart, so I didn’t always tell him what was the cause of my heightened anxiety. But my mama knew. And she’d always subtly speak for me, when she saw that I was struggling to do so myself.

  “Did something happen to make you have a nightmare, baby girl?” my daddy questioned me.

  I hesitated.

  My mama lovingly stroked my cheek, causing my heart to warm. “Don’t hold nothing back, baby. Tell us what’s on your heart. We can handle it,” she reassured me, before glancing back at my daddy. “No matter what it is.”

  My daddy nodded in agreeance.

  I took a deep breath. “I was arguing with JJ before I went to sleep and then his mama popped up in my dreams.”

  My daddy frowned. “What were yall arguing about?”

  “He mentioned something about forgetting the picture of his mama over at his aunt’s house. She gave it to him and he was gonna ask if he could hang it up somewhere in here. That made me so mad…I told him that the picture wasn’t going nowhere in here and he better hope that I don’t burn it.”

  My daddy gulped.

  My mama tucked her lips into her mouth. “Well, that’s something you don’t have to get worked up about. That bitch’s picture aint going on nah wall in this muthafucka. I’ll burn this bitch down to the ground first.”

  My daddy stroked his waves. “Yeah, I’ll let him know that it’s best to leave the picture over there at his aunt’s.”

  I nodded, appreciating the fact that my daddy was considering my feelings. I knew that he was in the most awkward position as he had to consider what everybody felt. I know that JJ had feelings, but that wasn’t my fault that his mama was an evil bitch. And to force me to live in a home that Tyra was being memorialized in would be victimizing me all over again. That’s like waking up every day to the smiling picture of your rapist. Therefore, I felt like my avoiding torment trumped JJ’s hurt feelings.

  “Okay, but I still feel like we should schedule a counseling session,” my mama insisted.

  I shook my head. Nobody was trying to get all deep and end up crying. It was too emotionally draining. “No, I’m okay, mama. If that changes, I’ll come and tell you.”

  She studied my face, before giving in. “Okay, baby.” She kissed my forehead, offering me a piece of comfort that only she could. “Now, get up. It’s your first day of school. You gotta come through killing it!” she boasted, as she stood up.

  “Don’t start that shit,” my daddy commanded, before focusing on me. “And you, what did I tell you?”

  I rolled my eyes up to the ceiling. “Bring home A’s, no B’s aka boys.”

  He nodded in satisfaction. “That’s right.”

  My mama pursed her lips. “Yeah, yeah. Now, let’s get out of here so that she can get ready.”

  I giggled, as they exited my room and closed the door behind themselves. Hopping out of bed, I took a long stretch. Today was my first day of high school, and I was…cool about it. Going to high school was honestly no big deal to me. From a few of my friends and my brother Little Jahrein, I was already familiar with most of the school’s population. Hell, a few seniors had been actively chasing me, while I was still in middle school. Therefore, I was confident that I could handle myself. The only challenge I had was facing him.

  It had been two weeks since I’d given my virginity to Jeremy and I hadn’t seen him since. My brother had b
een over at Auntie Raquel’s which eliminated any reason the twins would have to come by. So, I didn’t really question why I hadn’t seen him, but low key I’d expected to at least hear from him. I knew that what I felt was mutual, and nobody could tell me differently, but something was holding him back. And if he allowed that to happen…then he wasn’t who I thought he was. I wanted a boy crazy over me like Jahrein was over Raven. Anything less…I didn’t want it.

  Stepping over to my dresser I grabbed my ensemble for the day. Chanel was the designer of the day, which consisted of distressed jeans, sneakers, a t-shirt, and a cross-body purse. My mama had picked out every item from head to toe. In fact, she picked out all our clothes. Although, we’d sometimes shop for ourselves, she still preferred to dress us. I don’t think anyone complained because mama had style.

  Nevertheless, it was time to come through, as my mama said, therefore, I carried my clothes to the nearest bathroom. I then hopped in the shower, brushed my teeth, dressed, and then removed the thin rollers from my hair. After fingering my hair, my curls finally fell perfectly. Using the vanity mirror I applied mascara to my naturally long lashes, and a nice coating of strawberry lip gloss, before rubbing my fingers across my silky textured perfectly waxed eyebrows. Pushing some hair behind my ear, I examined my diamond studded Chanel earrings.

  “Ooh, kill ‘em, Yah-Yah,” I sang, referring to myself by the nick name my daddy had given me when I was a baby.

  After spritzing Chanel perfume on, I sashayed into the kitchen, where my mama had a serious breakfast spread laid out. She’d cooked sweet cinnamon rolls, eggs, bacon, French toast, and hash browns. Then we had orange juice and milk to drink. Everything looked appetizing and I wasn’t surprised. My mama was superwoman, chasing after and capturing smiles for us on a daily. I was amazed because I didn’t understand how she did it. Well…financially my parents were blessed. So, that had to help, because we did have a chef come through twice a week, there was a nanny here, who’d usually would come over during the evenings, and a cleaning service came to clean up once a week. However, even with all that, my mama’s plate was full. She cooked for us regularly, she made breakfast most mornings, she made sure that our clothes were together, and she gave us all our share of attention, including my daddy. This alone was enough for one woman, but that was just the beginning of her day to day regimen. My parents had a plethora of businesses from real estate to car lots. So, I never understood how they handled it all, but they always did.

  Glancing around the kitchen I noticed all my siblings. I had two sisters, Jahreiah and Jaylah. They were significantly younger than me, so I called them my babies. They did whatever I said and worshipped the ground I walked on. Then there were my brothers, Jahrein Junior, Jahrae, Jahlero, Jaylen, and JJ. Jah Junior was the oldest, and I was the second to the oldest, and then there was Jahrae. He was my biggest headache, but lowkey my best friend. My little brother would fight a wall about me, and I’d gladly do the same. I couldn’t remember if JJ was older or younger than Jahrae, but I didn’t care, honestly…I was still working on that. It was different, trying to adjust to JJ being around for the last year or so. We’d all grown up together, having each other’s backs, before JJ came along. This didn’t happen overnight. Hell, we’d get spankings if somebody would hit any one of us and we didn’t all knock the shit out of the person. Our parents had instilled that in us, so now it came naturally. However, those instant instincts didn’t kick in with my brother from another mother. He was still alright, though.

  “Move, scoot over,” I urged, shoving my way into the kitchen’s nook.

  “Jhyrah, move,” Jahrae groaned. “With your stanky self.”

  “Aww, brother, what’s wrong?” I teased, poking out my bottom lip, as I tossed an arm over his shoulder. “You mad cause I won’t be going to school with you anymore?”

  He sucked his teeth. “Man, girl, stop playing with me.” he flung my arm off him, causing me to laugh.

  “Yeah, Rae, I think you in ya feelings,” my daddy jested, placing a hand on his shoulder.

  “Daddy, don’t co-sign her. Tell her about the party me and my friends have planned in the cafeteria to celebrate her leaving us alone. Now, she can get on Little Jah’s nerves,” Jahrae fussed.

  I pursed my lips, as my mama sat my plate in front of me. That’s when all conversation ceased, as we all dug in. Thirty minutes later, me and Little Jahrein were headed outside with my mama and daddy right behind us.

  “Yall pose for the camera,” my mama instructed, as we stood in front of the Benz that Lil’ Jah was using to drive us to school.

  Naturally, me and bro did what we do best. We modeled for our mama, while our daddy stood back laughing. Little Jah wore Versace everything while showcasing a Colgate smile.

  “Yessss,” my mama praised. “My God my children are beautiful.”

  My daddy nodded. “Yeah, they get it from their daddy.”

  Raven pursed her lips. She hated when she was reminded of the fact that none of us looked like her. I mean none. I had her dimples and maybe her hair, but that was it. We had our daddy’s DNA stamped all over us to the point that people suggested that my mama was the one who needed to get a DNA test. Jahrein was our daddy without a shadow of a doubt.

  “And on that note, yall have a good day. You better drive safe, Junior.”

  “Yeah,” my daddy co-signed. “And remember, Jhyrah. No boys.”

  My mama waved him off. “No, baby, if anything, remember that you aint them other little girls. You’re Jhyrah Braxton, honey. They better recognize,” she boasted.

  My daddy frowned. “Don’t make me hurt nobody, Jhyrah.”

  “Oh, God,” I groaned as I stomped over to the car, hopping in on the passenger’s side.

  Junior jumped into the car moments later and drove around our spiraling driveway. We hadn’t exited the gate, which led outside of our community, when he started his bullshit.

  “Yeah, Jhyrah, you heard daddy, so don’t make me have to beat nobody up,” he lectured, trying to really live up to his name. Yeah, he was Jahrein, but he wasn’t my daddy. “So, just chill out. Socialize or whatever, but don’t entertain those dudes.”

  I rolled my eyes. “Boy, you are wasting your breath. I don’t know when will you realize that I’ma do whatever I want. So, you just do you and I’ma do me.”

  “Oh, yeah? Okay. Well, I’ma just call daddy and see what he thinks about that,” he threatened, sounding like a true snitch.

  “Call him, and I’ll be on your ass like white on rice. Every false move you make, they’ll know. You’ll be on punishment the whole school year. So, I advise you to mind your business. Aint no double standards going on over here. I don’t care what daddy says. He was high-fiving you last year when he knew that you were smashing older chicks, and I refuse to let yall stop me from dating now. Aint happening, captain.”

  “Man, alright, Raven Junior. Don’t be crying to me when daddy kills you.”

  “Okay, let me handle that. You just mind the business that pays you.”

  I gazed down at my cell, realizing that I had a text from my girl, Josairah. We’d been friends forever, meeting through our parents, who’d run together since their teens. Josairah lived across the city, but we hung all the time, and talked daily.

  “Okay, okay, Jah-Jah, I see you, girl,” I smiled, as I examined the picture she’d sent for her first day back at school. We’d gotten our Chanel at the same time, and clearly, she’d decided to wear hers today too.

  “Let me see.” My brother snatched my phone clean out of my hand.

  “Hey,” I complained, as he stared at the photo. “Watch the road, and wipe the drool off your chin.”

  Unconsciously, he wiped his chin. “Aint nobody drooling. Who is that dude in the picture with her?”

  “Her boyfriend. Duh.”

  He smacked his lips. “This lame ass nigga?”

  I giggled. My brother was literally hating and that was rare for him. Little Jah was the man on and of
f campus. Girls loved him, and he was a star ball player. Looking just like our daddy, he was tall, slender, reddish brown, and bow legged. He was smooth and could talk the panties off grown women if he wanted to, but he was hating on a mere earthling. Josairah’s little boyfriend had nothing on my brother, which told me what Little Jah’s real problem was. He couldn’t stand seeing any boy with Josairah, if it wasn’t him. They definitely had a thing for each other, but both refused to admit it. But that was their business and I just got a kick out of them, going around playing games.

  “Gimmie.” I snatched my phone back. “I don’t know why you’re worried about it, either way it goes.”

  He reclined in his seat. “I’m not worried.”

  “Jah, look at me.”

  He glanced my way.

  I pointed at my pursed lips. “I believe you.”

  He waved me off. “Whatever.”

  I tittered. “I’m just saying.”

  Moments later, we swooped into the students’ lot in the back of the cafeteria. Just as we were parking, I noticed a Benz SUV pulling up next to us. My heart skipped a beat, recognizing the driver. The twins and their older brother Jerrod had arrived.

  Easing out of the car, I rolled my eyes as my brother dapped up all his little friends. Clearly, they’d all decided that Versace was the thing for the day, since they were all rocking it. Jeremy Junior was sipping from a bottle of water, as he glanced my way.

  “’Sup?” he spoke casually.

  I rolled my eyes, never bothering to answer. When his brothers addressed me, I gave them both warm hugs, especially Jerrod’s throwed off ass. Like JJ, Jerrod was the outside child, except he technically came along before Auntie Paris and Jay Rock were together. Still, somehow Uncle Jay Rock didn’t get a DNA test for Jerrod until after the twins were born and he was with Auntie Paris. So, that’s a little different, but I knew that the twins would often clash with Jerrod because they had different personalities. Jerrod was extra friendly, goofy even, and was a sucker for pretty girls. So, I’d have my way with him, bossing him around for the hell of it. Most times Jeremy would get mad when his brother would cater to me and that would lead to them fighting, literally. And Jerrod would lose every time, but that never stopped him from going at it. He definitely had heart, if nothing else.