His Little Lanie

by Keri Ford

  He stood at the passenger door to his truck and waited as she got in, then closed it behind her. He hurried around the front, got in, but didn’t start it right away. He gripped the steering wheel and shifted in the seat to face her. “Can we just pretend everything is normal for the night and figure out the rest tomorrow?”

  “Yes.”

  He nodded. “Thank God.”

  She could echo that sentiment. He started the truck and drove them into town. She filtered through all their conversations to try to get them to any sort of normal and found he usually did all the talking. So she talked about her family. Told him all about her dad, what he was up to, and tried pointing out her big, oversized family were really just a bunch of softies.

  She at least got a laugh out of him.

  He shook his head. “You think they’re teddy bears. You should have seen them threatening Jacob when we moved back.”

  “They did not.”

  “They did so. At your store opening, Tommy looked at Jacob and punched his fist into his palm.”

  The cackles started out of her, because fine. “Well, they’re teddy bears if they like you.”

  “And if they don’t, you’re shit out of luck.” He parked at the curb and pointed to the row of houses. “Mom’s house is the third one down. It’s dark but for the TV flickering through the windows.”

  “Tell me what you need help with.”

  In a moment they were at the back of his truck. Boards cut about four feet long were inside along with some posts. They made a few trips, sneaking low under the windows into the dark backyard. From outside, she could hear the explosions from whatever they watched on TV. She didn’t dare risk talking but found it comforting how well she worked with him in silence.

  He pointed, she assisted. They worked seamlessly together for two people who’d never taken on a project like this until, at last, a U-shaped raised garden bed was assembled right under the noses of his parents.

  She leaned into him, catching a scent of freshness off the lake and a hint of something else. A forest-like smell. “I need a piece of paper for the tail.”

  He produced a permanent marker and directed her to draw on the side of the raised bed. Was he kidding? What if she messed up? This was going to mark them, forever. At the start of her refusals, he turned her around and pointed.

  They could always sand it off later, she supposed. She put the felt tip to the board and drew as carefully as she could. Thankfully she’d been drawing it a lot lately and had it drawn in a matter of moments. She stood to admire her handiwork and bumped into Eriksen. He caught her against his side.

  It seemed so intimate. Crazy, seeing as she’d been stretched over his absolutely naked body earlier—something she’d revisit later, when she was alone—but something about being tucked in against his side, even with him fully clothed, rubbed an awareness along her skin. He pulled her from the backyard and kept her right under his arm all the way to the truck where he saw her to the passenger seat just like before.

  On the ride back, he filled the time with conversation about his parents. Lanie had to do little but slightly participate. She was mentally still in his parents’ backyard, lost in the feeling of him holding her. His hand was imprinted along her shoulder where he’d wrapped her in. The feel of his chest expanding against hers to the scruff of his jawline brushing her forehead as he’d glanced around.

  She wasn’t getting an ounce of sleep tonight, not with all this to live over and over again while she analyzed every last bit. He parked at her cabin. The trip had gone in a flash, and curse her wandering mind. She could have used this time with him to soak up more, but it just couldn’t be helped. After years and years of wanting him to touch her that way, she couldn’t seem to make herself let the feelings go.

  He walked her to the porch, and she turned on the slats. If she went in, he would leave. That’s how it happened in the movies. Would she get a goodnight kiss? Something lasting and sweet. It would taste of the mint gum he’d popped in his mouth on the ride back. Gosh, if he did kiss her, she probably wouldn’t even make it to work tomorrow for mentally going over the experience.

  She walked a small circle on the porch, and now she was feeling like an idiot so she headed for the door. He leaned against the frame, brows pulled. That didn’t look like a kissing face, for all she knew about kissing.

  He looked at her and shook his head with such disappointment she could just die. He turned away. “Everything with you is a mess.”

  Ouch. She covered her chest in an attempt to comfort the splitting pain. What just happened here? She was on cloud nine, and he kicked her off the side.

  He faced the front yard and braced his hands on the hand railing, completely oblivious to her pain. “I think we’re moving to something, but then we don’t. I can’t tell if you’re holding me at a distance because you don’t know either. Or if you’re trying to maintain us to friends and nothing else. What do you want from me, Lanie?”

  A private moment to cry? They were back at this again? So much for waiting until tomorrow to figure out how to deal with the past. Though, if this was how he planned to have the conversation, shoot her in the heart now instead of letting her foolishly lust after him for another day. “I don’t want anything for saving you. I would never hold rescuing you over your head. I feel I was the lucky one to be there to help you, not the other way around.”

  “I’m not talking about that.” His voice was heavy with an unfamiliar roughness. Nothing that made her afraid, but rather left her curious.

  Confusion swirled, and there in the thick of it was a little hope she couldn’t dash, even though she tried. “Then I’m not sure what you’re asking me.”

  He let out a groan and pushed his hand through his hair. He spun back to her, and at once she was pushed to the door and caught between him and the barrier. His breath went over her cheeks, nose brushed hers. “Does your heart feel like it’s pounding out of your chest? Do you think that if I don’t kiss you right now, the entire world will be let down? Do you feel like you’re next everything is entirely dependent on getting your hands on me?”

  Chapter Eight

  Lanie felt like if she didn’t kiss him in that moment, she might die. She tried three times to pull the words out of her mouth, but they kept getting lost somewhere in the fog of heated desire. As the intense look on his face began slipping she finally grabbed ahold of a word and shoved it out of her mouth. “Yes.”

  He stilled. “Yes what?”

  “Yes to all that.”

  He eyed her. “Are you sure?”

  She nodded.

  “Because you don’t seem sure. I put my arm around you at Mom’s, and you were nearly silent the whole way back. Then we get here, and you look at me like you do, but then you walk away.”

  “I don’t.” She breathed and tried getting a handle on herself, but holy crap, she’d been waiting on this to happen since she figured out what this was. That tickle at the base of her spine that grew to heat between her legs. The achy weight of her breasts and hypersensitive tips. The first day she looked at him, parts of her world shifted into an awakening. She really had no idea how to convey all that to explain herself. “I don’t know how to do this.”

  “Do what?”

  She gestured between them. “This. Any of this. I’ve never…”

  He tilted his head. “Have you ever been with a man before?”

  “No.” The honesty came easier that time. It wasn’t anything to be ashamed of, really. She’d never met anyone besides him to be interested in that much to get this far. Because of him, she knew what real desire and wanting was. No other person stirred up the least bit of interest in kissing, much less everything else. He stepped back, and she grabbed ahold of him to keep him right where he was. All these years, and she finally had him. He wasn’t going anywhere. “Please don’t go. Not over my inexperience.”

  “I’m just trying to figure it out. How you’ve made it this far without a boy getting in your pants
.”

  There was maybe a compliment in there somewhere? She shrugged. “You’ve met my brothers. Boys don’t really stick around. And I don’t stand out in a crowd to attract anyone either.” Or find anyone else she wanted to get close to. They were playing honesty games, but that went a little over her comfort line.

  “You stick out just fine, but I suspect you’re probably right about your family being the issue here.”

  “So will you stay?”

  “Do you understand what you’re asking of me?”

  There was so much circling in his gaze. He seemed like a caged animal. Or maybe she was the caged one. “I think so.”

  He pushed a hand through her hair. “If I come inside, it’s not for a cup of tea.”

  Oh thank the lord. “Then yes, I completely understand what you’re coming in for.”

  Still he eyed her. “What do you want?”

  One word formed in her mind. “Everything.”

  “That’s a lot for one night.”

  “So maybe it’ll have to be more than one.” Holy crap, did she just proposition him, like a—like a real experienced girl?

  He stood back, eying her. Maybe she didn’t know what she was doing after all, because his brows were pulled together like he was confused. “I don’t know if this is a good idea.”

  No, no, no. He couldn’t leave. “You were fine with it until you found out I’d never done it before.”

  He lifted his brows. “Because that’s a pretty big revelation.”

  She tried sorting through what she knew why this could be a deal breaker for him. She didn’t like one of her options, so she threw out the other one. “I know it can be uncomfortable, but I’m not a weak person.”

  “It’s not that.”

  She blew hair out of her eyes, and fine. She forced out the only other option she knew for why he was resisting. “I’m a fast learner.”

  He frowned at her.

  So she went on and spit out the rest of it. “If you’ll tell me what to do, I can learn so it’s good for you.”

  The corner of his mouth twitched and amusement filled his eyes. “It’s not that either. That’s not even a problem.” He sighed. “Your first time is usually memorable.”

  “Firsts in general often are.”

  “So it should probably be with someone special.”

  Oh, that just really made her sad. She stepped into him and cupped his cheek. “Why do you think you can’t be that person?”

  “I just meant—”

  She lifted on her toes and pressed her mouth to his. She didn’t know what she was doing, so she just stood there, mouth to his, and he at least stopped talking. But he didn’t start doing anything else. “I’ve never been able to forget you, and I don’t see that happening now. You’ll always be memorable to me.”

  He covered her hand that laid against his cheek. “You feel a lot more than what you talk about, don’t you?”

  “Doesn’t everyone?”

  “Not so earnestly, no.”

  She supposed after being married to a fake, lying heifer, she could see how he would be jaded on the subject of what’s true. Lanie didn’t know what to tell him. Not everyone carried ulterior motives around with them like a purse. “I don’t know what you want me to say.”

  “It’s not about what you think I want to hear. It’s what you want to say.”

  “Can you do that?”

  “I have an unexplainable pull to you. I look into your eyes, and I feel like you know everything about me. Maybe that’s because for the longest time you looked at me and knew things I didn’t. But even as I stand here in front of you, fully informed, I still feel like you know more.” He stepped into her and pushed a hand against the side of her head, threading her hair back. “I look into your eyes, and you make me think things I’ve never thought. You make me want to say things like this.”

  “Wow.”

  “Yeah, wow.” He shrugged. “I had a flight once. All my gauges said it was bad news. The weather was bad, the pressure was off, it was windy. The tower told me to turn around, but I didn’t have enough fuel for it. We were coming out of the sky one way or another. Everything said we should crash. I stuck to my instincts and put that plane on the runway like butter. When I look at you, I remember that flight.”

  Okay, so he could be honest. She breathed in the night air that smelled of him and tried to draw on his way with words. If he could talk to her like that, she could say those things back. Only her words were sure to come out awful because, instead of talking amazing like him, he made her clam up. “You make it hard to think.”

  He chuckled.

  “I’m being serious. I have thoughts. Then I look at you and I feel.” She touched her head. “It’s like there’s me in here, and then I see you and there’s a bunch going on. I become acutely aware of every aspect of my body. It is a physical feeling that jams up my mouth. That’s half the reason I dodged you for so long. I don’t know how to put what I feel into words.”

  “What do you feel?” He leaned on the door over her shoulder. “What are these things you’re acutely aware of?”

  “My heart is pounding so fast.” He put his hand there, and her chest caved with sweet pleasure.

  He met her gaze and slid his palm up and put his fingers along her throat. “It is. I can feel your pulse throbbing here. You’re excited? Not afraid?”

  “Never afraid.”

  “What else?”

  “Breathless. Which is crazy, because I have amazing cardio. Looking at you shouldn’t make my lungs work this hard. But it’s not like an exercise breathless. It’s something different. It feels like something more.”

  He caressed the expanse of her shoulder, and she shuddered. “And now?”

  “I don’t even know. I feel heavy and light. Listless, but I can practically pinpoint every last nerve ending where you put your hand.”

  He eased in a step, backing her up to the door until she was pressed between it and his body heat coated hers. His breath eased over her cheeks. She found her eyes dropping closed. “I feel you. I smell you. There’s nothing else. I know we’re on this porch, and logically there should be some bugs chirping or wind rattling the leaves, but I hear nothing but the pound of my pulse throbbing between my ears.”

  His mouth pressed to her cheek and kissed. Much like she’d put her mouth to his, only he had some pressure with his lips. He kissed along her jaw, toward her ear, until she couldn’t stand more and shook off a tremble.

  She gasped. “That’s thrilling. Addicting, I think, because I want more of it.”

  “Where?”

  “Everywhere.”

  “How many people have you kissed?”

  “My brothers and Dad.”

  That chuckle again. “I don’t mean like that.”

  Oh. He meant like this, with his feather-light touch of lips against her skin. “None.”

  “At all?”

  It was like she had to force a swallow. “Ever.”

  “Keep your eyes closed.” He caressed the side of her face with the backs of his fingers. “Just feel, Lanie. That’s all. Just feel.”

  “Okay.” She didn’t have to work at keeping her eyes closed. They just lay that way, languid and at ease. With him it was so simple to just shut her eyes and block out the entire world. She was falling into his hands as he wrapped her up tight in them and drew her more firmly in against him. The length of him fit to her, and he seemed to imprint along her body.

  Knees rubbed on her thighs, his hips against her stomach. She knew enough of the male form to be aware of the length against her body. He completely engulfed her. His lips pressed to her cheek again, and her entire being centered on that touch.

  Awareness and sensation of her nerves followed him as he moved to her jaw, throat, back to cheek. She could have stood there for an hour while he explored her with his kiss, edging closer to her mouth. He came so near then retreated again. Over and over until having his mouth to hers became something she wanted
more than the entire world. Something about the heated press called to her. An aching want, a craving for something she didn’t know, enveloped her.

  Impossible, but then his kiss finally made it over her mouth. She found she could fit against him even more as they sank together. He gave gentle presses of his mouth to her lips. Bits at a time, like testing if she was just right.

  She’d never felt more right in her entire life. One of his hands cupped her cheek, and it was so much at once she was lost into the feel of everything of him. He slid along her jaw. His thumb brushed on her bottom lip. She opened for him, and his mouth was back, and so was his tongue.

  He swept over her lips, and her formerly hazy body jolted with a new awakening. Another level of awareness rocked to life. How was this even possible to continue to feel more? Still, somehow what was ahead would cause her to feel even more. It was the most intimate thing she’d ever done. When he stroked his tongue to hers, she returned the motion. The moan that slipped out of him was the greatest reward, so she kept it up. Him first, then she followed. On the kiss went until she was on her toes, arms around his neck.

  Nothing could pry them apart.

  Except he broke the kiss all at once. Dizziness rushed all over her with a wave of disappointment that it was over.

  “Now you’ve been kissed.”

  She tried to protest to do it more, but he knocked the back of her knees and lifted against his chest. He let them in the house, and she gave directions to her bedroom.

  There was so much wanting, she trembled with it as he stood her at the foot of the bed. A lamp had been left on earlier from when she’d showered and offered a romantic sweet glow. She looked into his eyes on unsteady feet. That trembling returned.

  He rubbed along her waist, making a path from hips to lower back. “What do you feel?”

  “What do I not feel?”

  “Turn around.”

  There was a rawness in his voice she hadn’t heard before. An intensity that matched what she felt. She turned for him and looked over her shoulder to try to see what he was about. He gathered her hair and lifted the strands. She was aware of every last individual piece attached to her head.