Her Maine Reaction

by Rebecca Gannon

  Shit.

  Sighing, I take one last look at my neck in the mirror, and then go back to my room. I pull out my suitcases from the closet and lay them out on the floor, throwing in almost every warm piece of clothing I own.

  Maybe seeing him will make me stop thinking about him.

  Well, that’s a load of bullshit. I can only hope that maybe he’s gotten ugly and less manly and muscly over these past few months. That would solve everything.

  Chapter 2

  “Ashley, honey, are you sure you should be traveling to Maine now?” my mom asks for the fiftieth time this morning.

  “Yes. I have to beat the storm that’s supposed to hit in a few days.”

  “But why are you going now? It’s January. What if you get stranded in the snow?”

  “I’m not going to get stranded. Ally and Jake are there.” It’s the truth, I just didn’t tell her that I’m not staying with them. She’d freak if she knew I was staying out in a cottage by myself where anything could happen to me. Including getting stranded.

  “Well, that makes me feel a little better. But why now? Did something happen? Don’t you have work?”

  “Mom, you have to stop with the twenty questions. I asked for a little time off at the bar because we’re slow, and I just need to get away for a few days.” The lies just keep coming. If she knew I was forced to quit another job because of sexual harassment, I don’t know what she’d start thinking about me.

  “Alright, honey. I’m sorry.” I can hear the twinge of sadness in her voice, and I immediately feel guilty. I know she’s only worried because I’m all she has left now.

  “I know why you’re worried, but I’ll be fine. I promise.”

  She pulls me in tight for a hug. “I know you’ll be fine. You’re strong.” I don’t know if she can sense I’ve been lying to her about why I’m going on this trip, but her words bring tears to my eyes that I have to quickly blink away.

  “I’ll call you when I get there.”

  “You better.”

  Smiling, I kiss her cheek and take my last bag out to my car.

  “Love you, Ashley,” my mom calls from the door.

  “Love you, too,” I say back as I get in behind the wheel.

  ∞∞∞

  Six hours, and three coffee stops later, I’ve finally made it to the Pine Cove exit off of the highway. The sun is shining bright above, and the ground and pine trees are covered in a blanket of snow. It looks like they just had a snow storm, and the sky hardly looks like another one is coming, but I guess in Maine, snow is always just around the corner.

  The closer I get to Pine Cove, the more nervous I feel. My hands are sweating on the steering wheel, my left leg is bouncing, and I can’t stop chewing on my lip.

  What was I thinking coming back here? I mean, I knew I’d eventually have to come back for Ally’s wedding, and I’d have to face him again, but I thought I’d have more time to prepare myself. This trip was too impulsive.

  Turning right onto Main Street, my heart starts to pound in my chest, and my skin breaks out in a cold sweat. I slow down when I see The Blueberry Café, and pull into a spot right out front. I need a cup of Courtney’s strong coffee to calm my nerves. And maybe one of her pastries. Sugary treats and coffee go hand in hand for me.

  Courtney is only four years older than me, and at 32, she owns the café. She’s married to hot fireman in town, too. Just like Ally, Courtney came to Pine Cove for a fresh start in life, and she found her forever here with the café and her hunky husband. She had her life together when she was my age, and yet I’m bumbling around like an aimless drifter.

  Maybe this place possesses some kind of small-town magic that draws in the lost souls of the world and finds them a home. Or, maybe this town just has an obscene amount of hot men that know how to make women fall in love with them so they’ll stay.

  Either way, I do know that Courtney’s coffee and pastries are magic, and I could use some of both right now. Opening my car door, a blast of frigid air blows in my face and I immediately close it again. Holy hell, it’s freezing!

  Reaching into the back seat, I grab my scarf and wrap myself up before attempting to step out of the car again. It’s only a few steps to the café’s door, so I tuck my face down and hurry inside. The familiar bells jingle above my head, and the warmth welcomes me like an old friend.

  I love this café. The floors are blue and white tiles that are laid down in an old checkered style like those authentic black and white ones in diners. Bistro tables are set up all on the right side, and the left is made up of cases filled with pastries and desserts, including pies, cakes, cookies, cupcakes, and donuts. It’s a haven for those in need of a sugar pick-me-up.

  Unwrapping my scarf, I start to walk towards the counter, but when I look up, I freeze on the spot.

  He’s here.

  What the fuck?

  Shouldn’t he be working?

  I haven’t mentally prepared to see him yet.

  No. I’m not ready.

  He’s not facing me, though, so if I back out slowly, he doesn’t have to know that I was ever here.

  But of course, my plan is ruined the second Courtney spots me over his shoulder.

  “Ashley?” she asks, smiling, surprised to see me.

  The man who’s occupied my every thought and dirty dream for the past seven months stiffens, and slowly turns to face me.

  The breath I’ve been holding suddenly rushes out of me as our eyes lock. I definitely wasn’t ready to see him yet.

  My chest tightens as his eyes run up and down my body, feeling them on me as if I were naked, and he’s remembering everything we did in explicit detail.

  When his eyes meet mine again, they’re darker. Fuck, he’s even more handsome than I remember. My fantasies haven’t been doing him justice.

  “Ashley.” His voice flows over me like a warm breeze on a summer afternoon, and a shiver runs down my spine. Just my name from his lips is enough to make my blood rush–pounding in my ears. No man has ever made me feel like this, and I hate it. He makes me feel weak and vulnerable, and those are two things that I most definitely am not.

  He’s watching me, waiting for me to say something.

  “Ryan,” I manage to say, despite the fact that it feels like my throat is closing.

  He takes a step towards me, and I resist the urge to take one backwards, staying planted where I am.

  “You’re back.” He smirks, and my eyes dart down to his delicious lips that I’ve been dying to taste again.

  Clearing my throat, I look back up, and see that his eyes are even darker. He knows exactly where my mind went. “I’m just here to visit Ally.”

  “How long are you here?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “Where are you staying?”

  “Dottie’s cottage.” Why am I answering all of his questions? It’s none of his business.

  “Alone?” His voice drops an octave, and I suddenly snap out of the spell I’m under.

  “That’s none of your concern,” I tell him, finally finding my voice. Steeling my spine, I walk past him and towards Courtney, but his spicy scent fills my nose, and I all but stumble the rest of the way to the counter.

  “Hey, Ash.” She smiles, her eyes holding a knowing look.

  “Hey, Courtney. How have you been?”

  “I’m good. How are you? What brought you back?”

  “Uh”–I shift my eyes to the side–“I just needed to get away for a little while.”

  “Is everything okay?” she asks, her brows pulling together.

  I know Ryan’s still behind me, so I need to choose my words carefully. “Oh, yes, I’m fine.”

  “Doesn’t sound like it.”

  “Maybe we can talk later?” I whisper, hoping she catches my hint. Her eyes dart over my shoulder and then back to me, and I know she gets it.

  “So, what can I get for you? It’s on the house.”

  “Oh, thanks.” I smile, grateful. “I’ll
have a coffee and one of your amazing bear claws. I’ve been dreaming of them for months now.”

  Smiling, she pours me a coffee, and grabs a bear claw from the case. “To-go?”

  “Yes, thanks. I’m meeting Ally at the cottage soon.”

  “She didn’t tell me you were coming.”

  “I only decided yesterday. Ally said a big storm was coming in a few days, so I just packed up and came today.”

  “You two have the impulse gene, don’t you?” She laughs. “She came here last year only a few days after being fired from her job.” My eyes dart to the side, and I shift on my feet.

  “Yeah.” I smile weakly, taking the brown bag and cup from her. Adding a little cream and sugar to my coffee, I steel myself to face Ryan again. I’ve felt his eyes on me the entire time.

  Turning, I find him sitting at a table near the door, his gaze on me, never wavering. My God, he’s sexy as hell. He exudes power and authority in his sheriff’s uniform as he sits with his legs apart and his arm resting on his thigh as he sips his coffee. My eyes take in all of him–from his boots, to his gun, to his badge. Everything makes me want him more. When I finally take in his face, I see that sexy little smirk playing on his lips again, and I want to kiss it away.

  His short blonde hair is begging for me to touch it, and his clean-shaven face shows off his square jaw and high cheek bones. The longer I stare at his perfect face, the wider his smirk gets, until he’s full blown smiling at me, and I feel like I’m going to pass out. His straight white teeth graze his bottom lip and he rubs his jaw, making me wish those same teeth were grazing my neck as he pinned me against the wall.

  Snapping my eyes up to his, I know he can see where my thoughts have gone again, and I grip the paper bag in my hand a little tighter. I hate how he has this power over me. I never let a man make me feel like I’m not in control of my body or my mind. But with Ryan, that’s not even an option.

  Turning back to Courtney, I hold up my coffee and force a smile. “Thanks, Courtney. Me, you, and Ally should have a night at The Rusty Anchor while I’m here.” A low rumble from Ryan makes my forced smile morph into a real one. Does the idea of me going out upset the sheriff? Well, that’s just too damn bad.

  “Yes! I haven’t had a good night out in such a long time.”

  “Good. See you.”

  “Bye, Ash.”

  Avoiding looking at Ryan again, I walk out of the café with my head held high. I refuse to let that man affect me any more than he already has. I refuse to go back home again with more memories that I can’t get out of my head.

  Thinking about it now sends flashes of him pushing me against a tree, his hot breath against my neck, kissing his way up to whisper sweet, dirty things, in my ear.

  Shaking my head, I push the memory back down and get in my car. I need to get a grip on where my thoughts keep going.

  The drive to Dottie’s is just as I remember, with pine tree lined roads, except this time, everything is covered in snow. It’s beautiful. I’ve always loved the winter and snow. It’s a fresh, white, sparkled blanket that provides a clean slate on the world around you.

  Glancing in my rearview mirror, I see an SUV not too far behind me. And as if the driver can sense that I’m looking at them, blue lights start flashing at me.

  Are you fucking kidding me right now?

  Sighing, I roll my eyes and pull over. Is he serious? Did he really follow me so he could pull me over? Is he on some sort of power trip?

  Parking, I turn my car off, and watch in my mirror as Ryan gets out of the SUV cruiser and places his sheriff’s hat on his head. Damn it, even that stupid hat looks hot on him.

  Slowly walking towards my driver’s side window, I eat up every inch of his 6’3” frame with every step he takes.

  When he reaches my window, he taps gently, and I roll it down, waiting for him to say something first. I refuse to give in to his authority that he thinks he can just throw around. I’m just a game to him–something he thinks he can win or play around with.

  “Do you know how fast you were going Ms. Ames?” Ryan’s silky voice floats into my car, and my pulse starts racing from that alone.

  “I was going below the limit,” I answer, keeping my eyes straight ahead. “There was no reason to pull me over.”

  “I know.”

  “Then why did you? That’s harassment.” His low chuckle vibrates through me, and when I see his hand coming towards me, I jerk out of the way. “What are you doing?” I ask sharply, looking him straight in the eyes.

  “Trying to get you to look at me.”

  “Why?”

  “You know why,” he says, his voice dropping a few octaves.

  “No. I don’t. And I need to meet Ally, so…”

  “So…what? Are you asking me if you can go?” The hint of humor in his voice makes my blood boil. He’s such an ass.

  “No. And you pulled me over for no reason other than to make me see you as someone who can control me. And you can’t. So I’m leaving. Don’t pull this shit on me again, Ryan. Just leave me alone while I’m here.”

  Bending down, Ryan rests his arms on my window frame. His sexy face is less than six inches from me, and his eyes are on mine, challenging me. “Why are you so mad at me, Ashley?” Jesus, my name just rolls off his tongue like it was always meant to say it. “Is it because you went back home and realized you’d never find a man there that could give you what you need?”

  Curling my fingers into my palms, I resist the urge to slap him. “Fuck you.”

  “I know you want to, sweetheart.” I know I want to, too. “I bet you’ve thought about me often.”

  Try every fucking day.

  Turning my car back on, I throw it in drive, and barely give him a chance to step away from my window before I step on the gas. My tires sputter in the snow, but then level out as I hightail it to Dottie’s. I don’t care if I just sped away from a sheriff. I know he’s not coming after me.

  I can’t fucking do this. Why did I come here? I knew I’d see him, and I knew I’d want him all over again. The second I followed him into those woods last year, there was no going back. And the thing is, that I hate to admit to myself, is that I don’t want to go back.

  Even before I visited Ally last summer, I was sick of dating around. No man ever had the ability to hold my attention, or spark my interest for longer than a week or two. I was always bored. I thought the problem was with the men I chose, until I began thinking that maybe it was me.

  But then Ryan showed me what it was like to be with a real man, not the boys back in Jersey that try to pass as men, and I know it exists–passion.

  Gripping the steering wheel tight, I check the rearview mirror to make sure he’s not following me, and I make the last turn onto Peach Place. When I reach the driveway with the mailbox marked 25, I turn into it, and make the long drive through the snowy pine trees. A minute later, it opens into a clearing, and a cute little blue cottage welcomes me.

  The last time I saw it, it was bursting with flowers all around, and color was everywhere I looked. And while that was beautiful, there’s something about the simplicity of a snow-covered cottage amongst the trees. It makes me feel like I’m in a Hallmark Christmas movie, and the owner is going to be a handsome stranger who I run into all over town while I’m here.

  Okay, I need to stop watching those movies every chance I get.

  Parking next to Ally’s car, I wrap my scarf around my neck a little tighter and climb out, the freezing cold air whipping at my face immediately. Hurrying up the porch steps, I knock on the front door, and bounce from foot to foot to keep my blood circulating.

  Ally opens it a few seconds later with a huge smile on her face. “Ashley!” she yells, pulling me inside and hugging me tight.

  “Hey, Al.” I laugh, squeezing her back. “I’ve missed you.”

  “Me, too.” She had come home for Thanksgiving with Jake a couple of months ago, but then decided to stay up here and celebrate Christmas with him and th
e Taylor’s. I definitely had a twinge of jealousy knowing she was spending time with Ryan, but I wasn’t going to tell her that. No one even knows about what happened between Ryan and I last summer. I couldn’t tell my best friend that I hooked up with her man’s older brother…

  “So, I now know what you meant by it being cold. I’m freezing.”

  “I just turned the heat up for you. It was on low so the pipes wouldn’t freeze, but it should warm up soon. And you can turn the electric fireplace on too.”

  Closing the door behind me, I unwrap my scarf and smile, looking around the living room. “It’s the same. I love it.”

  Ally smiles too. “I know. I loved this place. I never changed it while I was living here, even though Dottie said I could.”

  “There’s nothing to change.” The muted pastels of the décor make it feel homey and lived in. The beige couch has a light pink, lilac, and cream crochet blanket draped over the back, and the chair in the corner has a similar one thrown over the side, along with a fur throw pillow. The walls are lined with bookshelves and pictures of flowers that tie in with the rose patterned side table lamps and area rug. Dottie loves flowers.

  “Exactly. Now, let me show you where the heat switches are and everything else.” Following her down the hall, she stops at the end, right before the kitchen, and points at the dial on the wall. “This is for the heat. But I also took out all of the extra blankets from the closets and piled them on the bed in the purple room. I knew you’d like the pink room like I did, so I changed the sheets and added an extra blanket. Uh, what else? Oh, the keys,” she says, pulling them out from her pocket. “This is the front door, and the other is the back. With the snow covering everything, I don’t know if you’ll be walking around the property, but if you do, be careful. Don’t slip and fall into the ocean.”

  “Yes, mom,” I say, rolling my eyes. The cottage sits on the coast, and last summer we all sat out in Adirondack chairs and drank cocktails while talking and watching the boats pass. It’s was so nice. But, right now it’s all snow and ice, and I don’t plan on falling down the rocky edge into the freezing Atlantic.