Her Maine Reaction

by Rebecca Gannon

  It feels so real. His hard muscles against my softer frame surround me in a strength only a man like him could possess. I’m glad I can still dream of him. I thought maybe seeing him again would make the dreams stop, and I’d have to go back to the black bleakness I’m used to waking up to.

  Sighing, I tuck my face into the crook of his neck and run my hands up his chest, feeling his starchy uniform beneath my fingers. That uniform does things to me that I can’t explain. Well, I can, I guess. It makes my lady parts clench every time I see him in it. But it might just be Ryan that makes me crazy with need and think sexy thoughts.

  “Ashley,” he whispers, making the hairs around my ear tickle my skin.

  “Mmm,” I hum, loving the feeling of his warm breath spreading across my face.

  I’m being laid out on something soft and cool, and the warmth of Ryan leaves me. A cold bed without him.

  “No,” I groan, searching for him again.

  “I’m here,” he says nearby, but he’s moving farther away.

  The soft pillow and cool sheets have me curling my body around the cold comforter for a warmth that isn’t coming. I’m cold again.

  Shivering, my jaw clatters and my body shakes.

  He left me.

  Even in my dreams, he leaves me.

  I can’t even dream of a perfect ending.

  I just want to be warm.

  “Hey, shh, Ashley.” Ryan’s soft, pleading voice is back, and I relax again, thanking my brain for bringing him back. He slips his arm under me and pulls me against him, his body heat giving me everything I’ve been missing. “Just sleep. I’m not leaving you.”

  ∞∞∞

  Opening my eyes to a dark room, I feel disoriented. But the solid wall of muscle nestled tightly against me tells me that I didn’t dream of Ryan carrying me to bed and holding me.

  He stayed.

  Smiling, I try and go back to sleep, but when my bladder starts to protest, I realize why I was woken up in the first place. Slipping soundlessly out from under Ryan’s grip, I tiptoe out of the room, and down the hall to the bathroom.

  When I slip back into bed, Ryan stirs as I lift his arm to place it around me again.

  “Ashley?”

  “Yeah?”

  “Are you okay?”

  “Yeah,” I answer, pausing. “You stayed?” I ask, the words pushed from my lips.

  “Is that okay?”

  “Yes.” I sigh, scooting a little closer to him. “I thought I was dreaming that you were here.”

  “No. But that explains why you were saying my name, though.”

  My eyes pop open. “What?”

  “Don’t worry.” He chuckles, tightening his arm around me. “You didn’t say anything too embarrassing. Well, except that you need me badly, and you want me to remind you why you followed me into those woods all those months ago.”

  “What?” I gasp. “I did not!”

  “I know.” He laughs. “Just joking. Now, go back to sleep. Unless you really do want me to remind you.”

  Staying quiet, the silence between us stretches out for so long that I think we’re both holding our breath.

  The air changes from light and joking, to strained and electrified. It’s thick with everything unsaid, and undone, between us.

  “I do,” I whisper softly after a few minutes. So softly, in fact, I’m not sure if he heard me. I don’t know why I said it. It’s either the illusion of darkness that made me answer honestly, or all the wine I had earlier.

  Probably both.

  The cover of night provides me the mask I need to spill my secrets to this man, and has my mind tricking me into thinking it’s okay. But in his hands, I know they’re dangerous.

  Ryan either doesn’t hear me, or he’s pretending not to have heard me, because he remains quiet, his arm around me heavy and comforting.

  I breathe a sigh of relief and close my eyes, falling back asleep to the sound of his steady heartbeat.

  Chapter 9

  A hand brushes the hair from my face, and I snuggle closer to the warm body next to me.

  As my eyes flutter open, the dull grey morning light allows me to see the handsome face staring back at me.

  Ryan’s square jaw is covered in stubble, and I reach up to run my fingertips over it–feeling the rough, yet soft, hair tickle my skin.

  A small smile plays on his lips, and he closes his eyes. When they open again, the blue shines back at me–glowing like the tropical ocean in the midday sun.

  “You stayed.” I don’t know why I keep feeling surprised at that, and needing to point it out to him.

  “Where else would I go?”

  Smiling, I lay my head back down on his chest. If I’m not careful, I know Ryan will send me down a spiraling hole of madness. I’m probably halfway there with the way I’m thinking right now.

  “I can feel you thinking.” Lifting my head, I rest my chin on his chest and he runs his finger across my forehead, and he taps my temple. “Just relax.”

  “Okay,” I whisper, blinking slowly.

  Ryan slips from the bed and curses when his feet hit the cold wooden floor. Damn, his ass looks good in sweatpants.

  “Where did you get those pants?” I ask, only remembering him in his uniform last night.

  “I always keep extra clothes in my truck. Consequence of the job.”

  “I bet,” I murmur, my mind running through a sequence of events where he would need to change his clothes on the job–all of them involving women ripping his uniform clean off to have their way with him.

  I’m sure the women in this town must make calls to the department over every little thing just to get Ryan to come to their rescue. Lord knows I would probably do that.

  “I’m going to go make us some tea since the stove still works,” he says, snapping me back to reality.

  “Okay.”

  Rolling onto my back, my head sinks into the pillows, and I sigh, staring at the ceiling. Ryan’s right, I really need to stop thinking. I’m picturing him getting naked on call-outs with random women like he’s some man-whore. Which, I don’t think he is.

  Throwing the covers off, I slip out of bed and immediately regret it. Shivering, I hug my body and shove my feet in my fuzzy slippers.

  I shuffle down the hall to use the bathroom, and catch a glimpse of my bedhead in the mirror. Sorting it out the best I can, I splash some cold water on my face, and feel a little more awake. Luckily, my skin has been agreeing with me lately, so I don’t have any breakouts, but the dark circles under my eyes are another story.

  I don’t think I’ve ever not worn makeup around a man so comfortably before. I actually didn’t even notice until now.

  Smiling, I pat my face dry and brush my teeth before heading out into the kitchen. My smile widens when I see Ryan reaching for cups and saucers from the cabinet above, showing a few inches of smooth skin.

  “You don’t know how to make stovetop coffee by chance, do you?”

  “No.” He laughs, turning to smile at me. And my God, that smile. It could stop traffic–and I’m sure it has. “Tea is okay, though, right?”

  “Yes, that’s fine.” I walk up and take the teacups from him, bringing them to the table.

  When the kettle whistles, Ryan turns the stove off and carries it over to the table, placing it on a pot holder. He goes back and grabs a few boxes of tea from the cabinet and piles them in front of me so I can choose.

  Reaching for the wild blueberry Bar Harbor tea, I rip open the packet and place the teabag in my cup, pouring hot water from the kettle over it. I dip the bag a few times, watching the steam rise as the water starts to darken from the leaves.

  When I look up, I see Ryan watching me. “Yes?” I ask, not sure why he’s looking at me like that.

  “Nothing.”

  “Then stop staring.”

  “I can’t. You’re too beautiful.”

  Oh my God. My cheeks heat immediately, and I bring my cup up to my face to try and hide my smile.
r />   “Do you have work today?” I ask, trying to avoid him watching me further. I’m afraid of what he’ll see if he looks too closely.

  “I do.” He nods. “But I’m not leaving you here alone.”

  “I’ll be fine, Ryan.”

  “No. I’m going to drive you over to stay with Jake and Ally.”

  “I don’t need babysitters,” I tell him, narrowing my eyes.

  “I know you don’t. But it’ll make me feel better knowing you’re not alone out here without power. It could be a few days before it’s back on.”

  “A few days?” I practically shout, my eyes widening.

  “Yeah.” He shrugs, like it’s such a normal thing to be without power for days on end.

  “I can’t go days without heat, hot water, or food. And my car is snowed in.” Rubbing my forehead, I sip my tea and try and let the hot liquid calm my nerves.

  “That’s why you’re not staying here.”

  Looking up at him, I see the matter-of-fact declaration in his eyes, and I narrow mine again. “Are you telling me what to do, sheriff?”

  “Yes,” he says, flashing me a satisfied grin.

  “You can’t,” I tell him. “And I’d rather stay out here alone than with the couple who can’t keep their hands off of each other. I don’t need to see, or hear, that shit.”

  Laughing, Ryan pours himself a cup of tea, and adds a little sugar before taking a sip. Grimacing, he puts the cup back down and pushes it away.

  “Not a fan of tea?” I smirk.

  “No. I thought I’d try it, but I need coffee.”

  “Well, me too.”

  “Alright. Go pack your bags and I’ll take you for the good stuff.”

  “Thank God.” Standing up, I head back down the hall. “But why do I need my bags?” I call out behind me.

  “Because you’re staying with me,” I hear him say back, and I stop mid step before entering the bedroom.

  Spinning around, I march back down the hall. “What did you just say?”

  Smiling, he leans back in the chair and crosses his arms over his chest, making the sleeves of his t-shirt stretch tight against his perfectly sculpted arms.

  “You heard me, sweetheart.”

  “Stop calling me that. I’m not your sweetheart. And I’m sure as hell not staying with you.”

  “You are.” He smirks. “Go get your bags.”

  “Ryan,” I say sternly, my hands on my hips.

  “Ashley,” he says right back, his tone lower and more threatening. “You’re not staying here, and you don’t want to stay at Jake’s. So that leaves me. What’re you afraid of?” he asks, tilting his head to the side, studying me.

  “I’m not afraid,” I shoot back, but I shift from foot to foot, giving away my nerves. “Whatever,” I say, throwing my hands up. “Just don’t expect anything to happen.”

  Walking back down the hall, I think I hear him mumble something after me like ‘we’ll see,’ but I can’t be sure. Yeah, we will see.

  Letting out a frustrated sigh, I pull out leggings and an oversized sweater from my suitcase, and change quickly. Shoving the clothes I had on back inside the suitcase, I pull on a pair of thick wool socks and my winter boots.

  Poking my head out into the hall, I yell down to Ryan, “If you’re forcing me to stay with you, then you can carry my bags, sheriff.”

  “Yes, ma’am,” he replies, sauntering down the hall towards me. “I’m at your service.”

  “As long as you know I’m not at yours.” I smirk, letting him past me into the room.

  Laughing, he picks up my two suitcases and follows me out into the living room. “Just these?”

  “Yup.” Putting on my coat, I wrap my scarf around my neck a few times, and shove my pompom hat on my head.

  Grabbing my purse, I look around, and make sure I’m not forgetting anything before opening the front door. When the cold air hits my face, I turn away and shove my hands in my pockets.

  “It’s still snowing,” I say, looking over my shoulder at Ryan. “How is that possible?”

  He just shrugs. “Welcome to Maine, sweetheart.”

  “I said to stop calling me that.” I frown, really needing him to stop. It makes it seem like there’s something more between us than what there is.

  Shaking his head, he smiles. “Just go wait in the truck.”

  “Don’t tell me what to do,” I huff, stepping out into the falling snow.

  “You’re a stubborn woman.” He sighs, closing the door behind him and carrying my bags down to his truck.

  “I am,” I say proudly. “You should remember that.”

  Walking past his truck and down the driveway a little, I tilt my face up to the falling snow and smile. Spinning around with my arms outstretched, I relish in the feeling of the flakes melting against my face.

  When arms snake around my waist, I blink my eyes open, the flakes that were stuck to them, fluttering away.

  Smiling down at me, Ryan pulls me flush against him, and his lips capture mine in an unexpected kiss. Heat spreads down my spine, feeling it all the way to my toes.

  Pulling away just as quickly as he kissed me, my heart beats fast in my chest as my breath puffs out white between us–clouding my vision for a few seconds.

  “Why did you do that?” I ask, breathless.

  “You looked too beautiful not to kiss you.”

  “Oh,” I say dumbly.

  “Walk with me for a minute,” he says, taking my hand in his.

  Tucking my head down, I run my tongue across my lips–tasting him there.

  “I’ve always loved when it snows,” I tell him, filling the quiet morning air–the only other sound being the crunching of our feet in the snow. “It’s so beautiful. I like to take walks during storms when everyone else is inside their houses. It’s just me and the gently falling snow.”

  Squeezing my hand, he places our joined hands in his jacket pocket to stay warm. “Not everyone can appreciate it that way.”

  “I know.” I laugh. “Everyone I know hates snow. They hate being confined inside and not being able to leave. But I love it. What better excuse to huddle under blankets, read, and drink wine do you have?”

  “I was always the kid who was the first to throw his ski pants on and go play in the snow. There was sledding, building forts, and snowball fights. I always won those.” He laughs.

  “Of course you did.” I smile, rolling my eyes. “You seem like the kind of person who hates losing.”

  “Who likes losing?”

  “Touché.” I laugh, letting my eyes wander around. The tall pine trees’ branches are weighed down by the snow. So much so, they’re practically touching the ground and look ready to snap.

  Walking hand in hand with Ryan as the snow gently falls makes me feel like we’re in our own world.

  “Can I ask you something?”

  “Anything,” he answers, looking down at me.

  “Why did you decide to go into law enforcement? And how did you become sheriff so young?”

  “Well, I told you how my parents expected me to always be the good example for my brothers. They all looked at me like I was some superhero who would swoop in and save the day whenever they needed me. And I guess I took that image and made a career out of it.”

  “But do you like it?”

  “I do. People count on me.”

  “Don’t you ever want to not be the person everyone counts on? Isn’t it tiring?”

  “It is,” he admits quietly. “I’ve been sheriff for five years now.”

  “How did you get elected so young? What were you, 30?”

  “Yes, I was,” he says, flashing me a smile. “And it’s because I’m well-liked, sweetheart.” Nudging him, I can’t help but smile back, and lean into him as we walk. “But it’s the truth. I was the star quarterback in high school, and then went to UMaine and played there, too.”

  “So, you’re the town’s golden boy who came back to protect and serve?”

  “Somet
hing like that. Yeah.”

  “If you could, would you choose a different career?”

  “No,” he confesses after a beat. “I love being the man people count on. I used to view it as a burden when I was younger, but when I became a deputy, I saw that it was a position to take pride in. I realized I really did like being someone people could count on.”

  “You’re a good man, Ryan,” I whisper, looking up at him. Blinking away the flurries sticking to my eyelashes, his eyes meet mine.

  “Thank you.”

  “You literally plowed your way to me to bring me food.” I smile. “You went way beyond your job description to save a simple visitor of Pine Cove. So, thank you.”

  “I didn’t do it because of the job, Ashley,” he says, his eyes blazing down at me.

  “You didn’t?”

  “No.” Ryan stops walking and steps in front of me. Reaching up, he brushes away the few strands of hair stuck to my cheek. “You know why I came,” he whispers, the breeze carrying his soft words to my ears.

  “I do?” I ask, suddenly feeling lightheaded with the way he’s looking at me.

  Nodding, he lowers his head and kisses me softly, but the sting of electricity sparks something inside of me.

  Ryan squeezes the hand he’s holding, and I sigh into the kiss, letting him slip his tongue into my mouth. Moaning on contact, I reach up with my free hand and grip the back of his neck, holding him to me.

  I can feel it–that pull in my chest that reaches out to his. I feel him everywhere.

  My cold lips heat under his, and he groans into my mouth. I feel the vibrations all the way to my fingers and toes–the current flowing through my veins.

  I feel vulnerable and exposed to all that’s unsaid between us.

  Pulling away slowly, he leans his forehead against mine, and we breathe in each other’s air–eyes still closed.

  We stand here for a few long seconds, my pulse pounding in my ears. Under my fingers, I can feel his thrumming strong and fast–a sure, steady beat.

  Squeezing his hand, I settle back down on my feet and open my eyes. I couldn’t feel the cold air before, but it hits me again, and a shiver wracks my body.

  “Let’s head back,” he says, his voice low and smooth.